Adopt A Liberal
Friends,
Christ never shunned sinners, even if he condemned their sins. He walked amongst them, with the knowledge that his radiant goodness would inspire the sinners to repent and know God. We republicans have allways tried our best to follow Christ’s example in this regard.
It would be easy to turn a blind eye to the menace of liberalism in our country. To be a liberal and to think liberal thoughts is surely a grave offense to god. God himself has given us clear instructions that we must not ignore this threat in our midst. We intend to “Adopt a Liberal”, we shall focus our attention on a single high-profile liberal and systematically challenge their views. Once again, ShelleyTheRepublican.com is leading the way to a better and stronger America.
From now on, we will adopt one liberal sinner, every week.
If you like to be adopted or like to suggest a person to adopt, please write to shelley@shelleytherepublican.com and let us know.
The authors will dedicate one hour of their weekly prayer session to the adopted liberals.
God bless you all.
Week 25:
Twilight and Thebes of the Twilight & Thebes Podcast Show
Urgency level: Extemely High
Their sins:
- Blasphemy
- Indecency (dirty sexual references in their podcasts and activity in the phone sex business)
- Hateful speech against America
Chances of them getting to Heaven if they repent their sins: 45%
IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, THE SON AND THE HOLY GHOST WE HEREBY ADOPT TWILIGHT AND THEBES.
We (the ShelleyTheRepublican writer team) promise to pray for their immortal soul.
Week 26:
Shelly of the Citizen Against Lies Podcast Show
Urgency level: Very High
Their sins:
- Insulting and hateful speech towards our leader, George W. Bush.
- Indecency (dirty language)
- Spreading of hateful communist ideas.
Chances of her getting to Heaven if she repents her sins: 75%
IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, THE SON AND THE HOLY GHOST WE HEREBY ADOPT SHELLY.
We (the ShelleyTheRepublican writer team) promise to pray for her immortal soul.
Week 27:
Guy James
Week 28:
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt!
Suggest a Liberal to adopt! 48 comments
48 Comments so far
Leave a reply
Sweetie, you need to learn to spell words correctly. Your glaring errors are really distracting from your message. I think you should look over the website material before you post it, because your education shines through. Don’t make the rest of us Republicans look ignorant, the libs already think we are and sites like this just fuel the fire.
You are a putrid piece of shit! Your kind will take America down a path to extinction.
Just wondering if you could point me in the direction of the place in the Bible where it shows me how to rate my chance of getting into heaven if I repent.
John 3:16. Repent of your sins and accept Jesus Christ as your Savior. If you don’t repent, you obviosuly don’t have Christ as your Savior, right Ted Haggerty?
You people (religious right) just blow me away. If Christ does return he will first repudiate the distortions of his message by the religious right and others. Jesus’s message was for those who had little to hope for. He gave them hope that a better world will come. Your Jesus is vengeful tyrant.
If our founding fathers could have looked into the future to witness the political power of the religious right they would have surely made the wall of seperation between church and state much harder to breach.
JESUS WAS A NIGGER
Uhm, hasn’t been updated for a while now, I’m moving elsewhere.
Can I adopt myself? I promise to change my opinions to that of my own, and monitor my decisions carefully.
How do you calculate the probability to go to heaven? seeing how much you dislike that person?
How do you dare to judge who can go to heaven or not?
You’re the one who should go to hell, I don’t know how do you dare to tell us that your opinions are true because God says so.
You only have the Bible, whatever else you say about Gods opinion, it’s a LIE.
IM JESUS YOU STUPID FUCKS. STOP WITH THIS FUCKING RETARDED WEBSITE. NONE OF YOU UNGRATEFUL FUCKS SPEAK FOR ME. NONE OF YOU UNGRATEFUL FUCKS WILL EVER GET INTO HEAVEN. WHY? BECAUSE YOU FUCKING LIE THROUGH YOUR TEETH ALL FUCKING DAY. BURN IN HELL FAGGOTS.
AND GUESS WHAT? HITLER MADE IT TO HEAVEN BECAUSE HE REPENTED BEFORE BLOWING HIS FUCKING BRAINS OUT. THATS RIGHT, HITLER. THE BIGGEST FUCK UP IN HISTORY WILL BE IN HEAVEN AND YOU WILL BE BURNING IN HELL WITH THE REST OF THE ATHEIST LIBERAL FAGGOTS.
Add to the list: Anyone who votes for Obama, considering that he not only advocates partial birth abortions, but advocates measures to allow the death of living babies who have ‘failed’ to die during a partial birth abortion. Does that sound parodical? Why not? No matter how the truth is expressed by others, no matter how badly, the truth eventually catches up to you. Just a light caveat for those who have doubts that they do not have a soul or that there is not a ‘God’ that does not take lightly the death of innocents.
@Joe, I bet you also support the War in Iraq and pretends there is no genocide in Africa right?
Joe: *puts fingers in ears* “lalalalalala I don’t want to hear it, it’s the truth, lalalalalalalalala.”
No, I do not support the war in Iraq. If I did it would be a contradiction, as much of one as it would be the other way around! Nor do I “pretends” that there isn’t genocide in Africa.
Epic fail, nice try at denying, no but seriously if you really do than that means you are not an STR supporter and all that correct? I was wrong to make that assumption. As for abortion, there are ways, like my thinking to be both pro-life and pro-abortion. Think about getting raped, and then finding out your pregnant (assuming your a female, we’ve had male names used for female users before, if not assume it was your daughter) and the only two choices are abortion or birth, which would you want. Okay, then if not, use the same scenario as above, now consider a birth complication, measles perhaps, and the baby would be deformed beyond a normal life and likely wouldn’t live more than a week, would you want to end the missery, or create a meaningless and suffering life. Perhaps a different complication, one that put either you/your daughter in extreme danger, a weak uterus, or something of the sort, you have two choices, aborton or birth with a 90% chance of death. Take birth, die, end of both lives. Take abortion, you/daughter live, and now get the chance at a full and complete life, and have the potential via AI to continue having children not using your/daughter’s own body. As for my spelling mistakes, oh screw it, there is no excuse for that, an brain fart I guess.
I have heard the arguments for abortion before. First, I concur with many that men, and I am one, should have less of a voice in this matter than women. Two, I concur with you that there are exceptions, both for abortion in general as well as late term abortions. There may even be some exceptions to the act of allowing a baby to die after birth when an attempt at abortion has failed. All rules have exceptions, and often there are good reasons for the infringement of laws altogether: e.g. when there is a just war, if such a thing actually exists, ‘murder’ suddenly turns into a duty for those sanctioned to carry it out. What has been highlighted over the past 7 years is the ease in which we go to war, and its possible criminality. Similarly the ease in which most abortions are carried out is to me criminal. But, and this was the point of my initial little post, the callous and seemingly schizoid lack of compassion indicated in Obama’s arguments against the measure that I was referring to, that was even acceptable to Naral, is to me unconscionable. The nurse who presented photographs of normal and live babies born after botched attempts at abortion left Obama “unfazed” according to her. I know it’s “only words”, but it seems consistent with the comment he made: “I wouldn’t want my daughters to be punished by a baby”, or the fact that while tenement dwellers in his district in Chicago were freezing in one of the coldest winters on record because the slum-landlord callously had the power turned off (because of lack of utility payments) Obama was partying with him. The man has wanted to be President since second grade. He is flipping on everything he has previously indicated was fundamental to him, even now the war. He is an empty suit, who has been sold to the public by corporate entities that know he can be bought. If you research his associations over the years, this becomes altogether apparent.
Excuse me for doing this, but I am going to copy and paste a word document I have that factually comments on partial birth abortions by doctors who carry them out. This disturbs me, in spite of the fact that I am a man. I would hope that you, in spite of your possible disdain for organized religion, as a woman, would at least be somewhat moved by the obvious level of admitted incidents of callousness in the performance of these doctors.
As you read, do note that both of Beethoven’s parents were moderately mentally retarded.
For what reasons are partial-birth abortions usually performed?
Some opponents of HR 1833, such as NARAL and the Planned Parenthood Federation of America (PPFA), have persistently disseminated claims that the partial-birth abortion procedure is employed only in cases involving extraordinary threats to the mother or grave fetal disorders. For example, NARAL President Kate Michelman wrote in a Scripps Howard News Service op ed published June 16, 1996, “Late-term abortions are only used under the most compelling of circumstances– to protect a woman’s health or life or because of grave fetal abnormality….nearly all abortions are performed in the first trimester.” PPFA said in a press release that the partial-birth abortion procedure is “done only in cases when the woman’s life is in danger or in cases of extreme fetal abnormality.” (Nov. 1, 1995)
However, claims such as these are inconsistent with the writings and recorded statements of the three doctors who are most closely identified with the procedure: Dr. Martin Haskell, Dr. James McMahon, and Dr. David Grundmann.
Reasons for Partial-Birth Abortions: Dr. Martin Haskell
In his 1992 paper, Dr. Martin Haskell, who has performed over 1,000 partial-birth abortions, described the procedure as “a quick, surgical outpatient method that can be performed on a scheduled basis under local anesthesia.” Dr. Haskell, a family practitioner who operates three abortion clinics, wrote that he “routinely performs this procedure on all patients 20 through 24 weeks” (4 1/2 to 5 1/2 months) pregnant [emphasis added], except on women who are more than 20 pounds overweight, have twins, or have certain other complicating factors.
For information on why Dr. Haskell adopted the method, the 1993 interview in Cincinnati Medicine is very instructive. Dr. Haskell explained that he had been performing dismemberment abortions (D&Es) to 24 weeks:
But they were very tough. Sometimes it was a 45-minute operation. I noticed that some of the later D&Es were very, very easy. So I asked myself why can’t they all happen this way. You see the easy ones would have a foot length presentation, you’d reach up and grab the foot of the fetus, pull the fetus down and the head would hang up and then you would collapse the head and take it out. It was easy. . . . Then I said, “Well gee, if I just put the ultrasound up there I could see it all and I wouldn’t have to feel around for it.” I did that and sure enough, I found it 99 percent of the time. Kind of serendipity.
In 1993, the American Medical News– the official newspaper of the AMA– conducted a tape-recorded interview with Dr. Haskell concerning this specific abortion method, in which he said:
And I’ll be quite frank: most of my abortions are elective in that 20-24 week range. . . . In my particular case, probably 20% [of this procedure] are for genetic reasons. And the other 80% are purely elective.
In a lawsuit in 1995, Dr. Haskell testified that women come to him for partial-birth abortions with “a variety of conditions. Some medical, some not so medical.” Among the “medical” examples he cited was “agoraphobia” (fear of open places). Moreover, in testimony presented to the Senate Judiciary Committee on November 17, 1995, ob/gyn Dr. Nancy Romer of Dayton (the city in which Dr. Haskell operates one of his abortion clinics) testified that three of her own patients had gone to Haskell’s clinic for abortions “well beyond” 4 1/2 months into pregnancy, and that “none of these women had any medical illness, and all three had normal fetuses.”
Brenda Pratt Shafer, a registered nurse who observed Dr. Haskell use the procedure to abort three babies in 1993, testified that one little boy had Down Syndrome, while the other two babies were completely normal and their mothers were healthy. [Nurse Shafer's testimony before the House Judiciary subcommittee, with associated documentation, is available on request to NRLC.
Reasons for Partial-Birth Abortions: Dr. James McMahon
The late Dr. James McMahon performed thousands of partial-birth abortions, including the third-trimester abortions performed on the five women who appeared with President Clinton at his April 10 veto ceremony. Dr. McMahon's general approach is illustrated by this illuminating statement in the July 5, 1993 edition of American Medical News:
"[A]fter 20 weeks where it frankly is a child to me, I really agonize over it because the potential is so imminently there. I think, ‘Gee, it’s too bad that this child couldn’t be adopted.’ On the other hand, I have another position, which I think is superior in the hierarchy of questions, and that is: ‘Who owns the child?’ It’s got to be the mother.’”
In June, 1995, Dr. McMahon submitted to Congress a detailed breakdown of a “series” of over 2,000 of these abortions that he had performed. He classified only 9% (175 cases) as involving “maternal [health] indications,” of which the most common was “depression.”
Dr. Pamela E. Smith, director of Medical Education, Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Mt. Sinai Hospital, Chicago, gave the Senate Judiciary Committee her analysis of Dr. McMahon’s 175 “maternal indication” cases. Of this sample, 39 cases (22%) were for maternal “depression,” while another 16% were “for conditions consistent with the birth of a normal child (e.g., sickle cell trait, prolapsed uterus, small pelvis),” Dr. Smith noted. She added that in one-third of the cases, the conditions listed as “maternal indications” by Dr. McMahon really indicated that the procedure itself would be seriously risky to the mother.
Of Dr. McMahon’s series, another 1,183 cases (about 56%) were for “fetal flaws,” but these included a great many non-lethal disorders, such as cleft palate and Down Syndrome. In an op ed piece written for the Los Angeles Times, Dr. Katherine Dowling, a family physician at the University of Southern California School of Medicine, examined Dr. McMahon’s report on this “fetal flaws” group. She wrote:
Twenty-four were done for cystic hydroma (a benign lymphatic mass, usually treatable in a child of normal intelligence). Nine were done for cleft lip-palate syndrome (a friend of mine, mother of five, and a colleague who is a pulmonary specialist were born with this problem). Other reasons included cystic fibrosis (my daughter went through high school with a classmate with cystic fibrosis) and duodenal atresia (surgically correctable, but many children with this problem are moderately mentally retarded). Guess they can’t enjoy life, can they? In fact, most of the partial-birth abortions in that [McMahon] survey were done for problems that were either surgically correctable or would result in some degree of neurologic or mental impairment, but would not harm the mother. Or they were done for reasons that were pretty skimpy: depression, chicken pox, diabetes, vomiting. ["What Constitutes A Quality Life?," Los Angeles Times, Aug. 28, 1996]
Over one-third of McMahon’s 2,000-abortion “series” involved neither fetal nor maternal health problems, however trivial.
In Dr. McMahon’s interviews with American Medical News and with Keri Harrison, counsel to the House Judiciary Subcommittee on the Constitution, Dr. McMahon freely acknowledged that he performed late second trimester procedures that were “elective” even by his definition (“elective” meaning without fetal or maternal medical justification). After 26 weeks, Dr. McMahon claimed that all of his abortions were “non-elective” — but his definition of “non-elective” was very expansive. His written submission stated:
“After 26 weeks [six months], those pregnancies that are not flawed are still non-elective. They are interrupted because of maternal risk, rape, incest, psychiatric or pediatric indications.” [emphasis added] ["Pediatric indications" was Dr. McMahon's terminology for young teenagers.
Reasons for Partial-Birth Abortions: Dr. David Grundmann
Dr. David Grundmann, the medical director for Planned Parenthood of Australia, has written a paper in which he explicitly states that he uses the partial-birth abortion procedure (he calls it "dilatation and extraction") as his "method of choice" for abortions done after 20 weeks (4 1/2 months), and that he performs such abortions for a broad variety of social reasons. [This paper, "Abortion After Twenty Weeks in Clinical Practice: Practical, Ethical and Legal Issues," and associated documentation, is available from NRLC.]
Did you ask all those people if they even WANT to be “adopted”? I sure wouldn’t.
Also it makes people angrier if you do not accept them the way the are. Jesus would not want that. Jesus wants a happy world, not a republican-liberal or religious war.
It is the PEOPLE’S choice to turn over, else it would be torture. Torture would make the torturer wrong in God’s eyes.
Thee shall have an understanding soul and thee shall enter the kingdom of the Lord. Is it not true? Is it wrong to be different? Did you ever try to see things from a different angle? Be truly wise? In the character of God? I doubt it.
I dearly beg you, to think everything you believe through, open your heart. THAT would truly matter when turning America into a more compassionate country. THAT would turn you into a better person.
Think about it,
Jake.
There is a difference between acceptance and compassion.
If I believe, based on my moral values or religion that homosexual acts are sin, I don’t have to accept anything related as right. As a Christian, I am expected to show compassion and work hard to bring the individual, engaged in those acts, closer to God. That is where compassion comes in. One must not to hate or judge ( since those are sins as well) but to do something…act.
It is wrong for people who categorize themselves as different to force people to accept their way of life. Wisdom is not obtained by blindy accepting whatever you see. Because society says “it’s cool” or “it’s OK” does not, in anyway, make it RIGHT.
Consult your conscience. Think if you would accept some of these “differences” in your own home, your children or in your life.
lol george w bush, a leader? thats hilarious, you treat him like hes your pastor. its government for the people, BY the people.
You lost me at this point, Shelley:
“To be a liberal and to think liberal thoughts is surely a grave offence to god. God himself has given us clear instructions that we must not ignore this threat in our midst.”
Surely you can be more clear about which liberal thoughts are an affront to God – I can’t imagine that all my thoughts are offensive to God. Also, can you should me where in the Bible you found God’s instructions to not ignore the threat of liberal thoughts in our midst? I think I missed that part the last time I read through the good book.
You are out of your mind!
You are out of your mind!
and to the guy who is ” I’m Jesus You fucks”..
isn’t that blasphemy?
sigh.. is there any hope for republicans?
I love the 45% chance to get to Heaven comment. Its one of many thousands of things I could point out here that prove time and time again that christians are hypocrits. “Judge not lest ye be judged” Dont pass judgement on thy neighbor, for this is the responsibility of god”
“Don’t make the rest of us Republicans look ignorant, the libs already think we are and sites like this just fuel the fire.”
Sure do.
-lib
who are you to take a life god?if a person is pregnant give it up to a couple who can’t have kids.oh wait this is the generation of dumpster babies,and lots of babies in car trunks.and in school garbage cans don’t want to forget this one.and don’t say fu””’ass””’bitch””’ people who use these phrases can’t think of anything intelligent to say..pea brain.
please adopt me. i am a lesbian , i need help
psh, the old classic still works
if you can’t trust a woman with a choice, how can you trust them with a child?
these arguments are all tired and are made to make everyone rilled up on black vs. white issues (not race) and truth is, there is always happy colors in between. Find your common ground with others and quit bickering about each other. Hopefully obama brings about a new age in politics where we can come together.
Really, this is just sad. This has to be the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. If people really believe in what they believe in, then what you do won’t change a thing. Trust me, humanity is naturally stubborn, but that’s what keeps you here, right?
Hey, we have our flaws, and perfections.
Shame on all you sinners!
Jesus loves you STR!
:]
Keep it up!!
i’m startin to love this blog. lolz³ ^^ etc. etc. pp.
but didn’t colbert spoil the idea by making it mainstream?
Lol… I think Shelley’s account got haxed XD
Shelley,
I’m glad to find somebody who thinks like me. Jesus has the power to redeem all those sinners you just mentioned. As dark as their evil deeds may be, even liberals may be offered salvation from Satan, the good Lord willing. (All the baby killers and homosexuals can burn Hell though!!)
Limbaugh/Palin for 2012!!!!
how can you tur religion into math? Just sayin’. I’m pretty sure you God is against any science. He’s against anything else, isn’t he?
My only comment to this is to go fuck yourselves
p.s. BUSH was a DUMBASS!
There is no god – anyone who beleives in god is retarded – you are negative hateful person and I hope you get stomach cancer… Your misguided hate and lies allows dumb fat ugly Americans to feel better about their ignorance – why use logic or reason when there are dumb fucks and pieces of shit like you to validate crazy ideas that have no proof, no evidence, it’s just hatred… Fuck you
But I digress
Just know, you are a joke, and no one will ever take you seriously…
And remember – there is no god, there is no jesus – you are a fool
@Jason frank
It’s atheists like you that make the rest of us look bad, just like if the people behind this website really lived by their policies I would say that they would make the other Christians look bad.
Love,
Kori
Chicken Pox can cause massive scarring of the skin that may not clear, that’s bad:`.
Yes, I’d love the percent calculation of my chance of getting into heaven as well.
And since practically everything that us ‘liberals’ do, tell me not only why these life choices are ‘damning’ me to hell and what you feel I should do about them.
I’m just quite interested to see where you get your ‘facts’ and statistics. Please try not to use the bible as a reference, as it does not come with a calculator.
I’m pretty sure this website is complete satire.
Anyone getting worked up is just amusing the webmaster ;).
Jesus is our webpastor. He is not ammused.
+1 for Satire, I love stuff like this! It’s Hillarious!
douche
Let’s adopt a Conservative to educate! If you want to be adopted or know someone who does, drop me a line at majorlogica@gmail.com
I’m now almost 100% sure this entire blog is a joke.
I love you. Forever. This website is one of the funniest things I have ever encountered. At first, I could not believe what I was reading. Then I started to doubt that any of this was serious, but it’s so HARD to convince myself that it’s all a big joke when it looks like so much effort was put into it. But I can see now, little hints here and there, that it’s a big joke.
Thank you. You made my day.
please tell me how i can get on gods hitlist????
Here is the simple truth….A human being is a human being…Everything else is just superficial. Race, Religion, Sexual Orientation, any of that stuff doesn’t really matter. It is your thoughts and actions towards other that makes you a good person. Being an american doesn’t make you better then anyone from another country, you have to act better, be nicer etc. Shelley i can clearly tell from this website that ALL the Blacks, Germans, Gays Liberals etc that you keep mentioning of far better people that you will ever be!!!!
you’ve an awesome weblog right here! would you prefer to make some invite posts on my weblog?