Our nation is at a time of extreme crisis. Democratic corruption and mismanagement has shattered our once-great economy. Strategic blunders and corruption from the highest office have left our armed-forces unready to win the next war against the muslims. Even worse, the racial purity of America has become diluted with foreign blood. Can America risk all this when we are less than a year from the Rapture? Leading Tea-Party candidate Grady Warren says No:

We need a candidate like Grady to win back America for Americans: We need a strong communicator to defeat Barrack Hussein Obama – we believe that Grady is the man who can do it! And if you think you like Grady now, just ask yourself – did you ever see fake President Hussein-Obama do this:

JG

The other day my daughter had some of her friends sleeping over. I noticed to my horror that one of the kids had brought a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Ice-cream. “Young girl”, I asked sternly, “where did you get this from?”

“From the Mall,” She replied – “I saved up my week’s allowance so we could all share it”.

Obviously these kids had not read the news about the abomination and travesty of the constitution which had been unleashed in the formerly great-state of Vermont. I undertood that these kids need to keep their innocence until the day they are married, but just then Jesus helped me realize how I could teach these young girls a powerful life-lesson that they would remember for the rest of their lives.

“Give me that tub of ice cream”, I said to the young girl, “So tell me about this stuff?”

“It’s got chocoloate and cones -”

“And nuts and vanila”, chimed in another girl.

“It’s real tasty”, said a third, “can we have it back?”

“Not just yet – now let me just set the ice-cream down here. Kids, do you know where this stuff is made?”, I asked.

“Vermont”

“Yes, that’s right – it comes from a place far away in the north-east called Vermont where only a few weeks ago they ruled that homosexuals should be given the right to marry just like your mommy and daddy. That means in the state of vermont they all think your mommy and daddy are queers… so lets just heap a bunch of these cigarette butts into your ice-cream to represent the faggots and homos who are fornicating in that corrupted state”

“Next, just think about all the sinfulness that’s going on right now in Vermont. I can just imagine Jesus looking down and seeing all that sin going on and shedding a tear. Molly, wont you fetch me that cat-litter tray? I’m going to add a heap of this dirty cat-litter to the ice-cream to represent all the sin and godlessness in Vermont”

“Finally, take a look at the fellow on the carton – I ain’t going to say his name just in case you kids get crazy ideas, but let me just say that he went on TV and mocked George W. Bush, the greatest president that ever lived. Suzie, what do you call a fellow who betrays his president at a time of war?”

“Uh… a rat?”

“Exactly!”

And with that I fetched up the remains of a rat which the cat had dragged into our house that morning, placing it on top of the cigarette-buts, dirty kitty-litter and the melting ice-cream.

“So girls, do you want your ice-cream back?”

“No way mister Goddard” they all cried in unison – they had truly learnt their lesson. But have you? What would you say if an aquaintance of yours offered you a scoop of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream? Would you eat it or reject it? According to the Bible the correct thing to do is to thow it in the garbage:

Next time somebody offers you a scoop of Ben & Jerry’s vermont Ice-Cream, imagine they just asked to sodomize you and your kids while videoing it for a “gay interest” channel watched by French homos . Then tell them what you think about it.

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard

I will miss you so much dear Leader and we at ShelleyTheRepublican urge you to run for office in 2012.

So long my friend,
Shelley

Dear Friends,

When it comes to pure fear mongering and hatred against America, nobody is worse than Alex Jones. Jones uses his position as syndicated radio talk show host and his access to the hearts and minds of up to 10 million listeners worldwide to sell cheap junk such as water filters, healing stones and other junk that is supposed to protect them from the evil people that control the planet. It might very well be the biggest con-job ever perpetrated on the American airwaves.

Jones, the maker of movies like “Zeitgeist” and “Loose Change 9/11” claims to fight for the American public and against a so called “New World Order” which he claims is trying to “exterminate 90% of mankind with material support of space aliens”. Unnamed sources confirm that he in fact is laughing about the gullibility of his listenership that keep buying his lies and distortions as well as all kinds of nonsense like storeable foods, magic teddy bears and silver coins. “The stuff I am selling can’t be too stupid that these morons won’t buy it” he is quoted by our sources inside the Alex Jones team. His personal wealth is very substantial after 13 years of on the air fear mongering. He is even going so far as to promoting dangerous hemp products on the air. Even though we all know badly hemp and its users are damaging the American society and we all know how expensive the war on drugs is, he still is promoting the use and sale of hemp on his radio show.

Alex Jones likes to be portrayed as young and hip when all he is, is a rancid old snakeoil salesman!

Perhaps the worst aspect of his daily radio broadcast is the open hatred against the Leader George W. Bush and the American government. I call for the arrest of Alex Jones and all his affiliates for the good of the Homeland. His wild-eyed conspiracy crap is polluting the minds of his listeners every day. This is especially bad when you take into consideration that America is in the midst of a fundamental transaction into a new societal structure using scientific methods of a kind the world has never been seen.

The young Alex Jones stuffing himself at MacDonalds, enjoying the fruits of American labor and ingenuity, yet all he has to offer is fear, stupid conspiracy theories and lies directed at the government. Y’all know me, I am a 100% pro life but this is the best damn argument for abortion I’ve ever heard. Maybe we should consider retroactive abortion in his case.

It is time that we acknowledge threats like this and deal with them accordingly. Human scum like that has to be sorted out of the American society. Today or better even yesterday.

Thanks for reading.
May God continue to bless America.

Shelley N. Goodman, Iowa City

President Bush is right.  Barack Osama Homo bin Laden loves Nazis and any group that wants to destroy America.  In his Happy Birthday speech in front of the Jews, President Bush showed just what a moron Homo bin Laden is.  The left-handed negro would rather sell America out for thirty pieces of pita bread than displease his Muslim masters.  The United States ain’t gonna negotiate with terrorists and thugs.  We never done it before and we ain’t gonna start now.  President Bush has always stood on the side of doing good things and protecting them that needs it.  That’s the whole reason that we’re in Iraq to begin with – to stop the hurting.   And if the Iranians is hurting under the iron, Jew-hating first of Akmadinejerk then we’re gonna help them out, too.

Briefly Patriotic – Homobama Loves Nazis

A strong and proud country needs a strong and proud leader and when it comes to being strong and proud, nobody steals George W. Bush the show.

Some snotty, Irish reporter-woman tried to make our president look bad on Irish television, without much success. The Leader was clear and concise in his response. In this interview he outlines the strategy for American success like only he can.

Please take the time to watch this interview and then I want you to leave a comment. If you are saying that you are proud of the Leader after seeing this, then I know you are a patriot and you are sincere. If you are saying the opposite I know that you are one of the two: An America-hater or just plain stupid.

(Only Americans are allowed to comment here!)

All the best and a Happy New Year from all of us, here at the ShelleyTheRepublican home office!

Shelley N. Goodman