STR † THE FREEDOM BLOG©

Friends,

Do you know somebody who is suffering from homosexuality? Leading psychologists such as James Dobson agree that homosexuality is a sick diseased perversion which must be cured. However until now ex-gay therapies have been expensive and hard to obtain. Despite our prayers and best lobbying efforts most insurance companies will not pay for treatment to cure homosexuality. That may all soon change thanks to the re-discovery of a 200 year old remedy: Homeopathy.

Hahnmann discovered that the more you dilute a substance the more potent it becomes. This simple, common-sense fact has been suppressed by mainstream science who simply do not want you to know that God has given us the power to heal ourselves!

Homoeopathy was discovered in 1796 by the physician Samuel Hahnmann: He was the first to notice that water has a “memory” allowing it to be subtly changed by substances even when greatly diluted. Hahnmann was first to postulate the “Law of similars” which showed that like can treat like. He proved that if sufficiently diluted coffee can actually cure insomnia. Now why is it that big-pharma has kept this medical wonder secret?

According to standard allopathic medicine AIDS is caused by the HIV Virus (above), however leading scientists dispute this highly controversial hypothesis: According to leading homoeopath Dana Ullman, both AIDS and homosexuality are caused by a bodily energy imbalance which can be corrected by homoeopathic treatment. According to the liberal media there is an epidemic of AIDS, so why are they not embracing every possible treatment? It’s an undisputed fact that Homoeopathy can cure AIDS.

Mainstream or “Allopathic” medicine such as vaccines or anti-biotics use high concentrations of dangerous substances and often cause side-effects which can be worse than the diseases they purport to treat. Homoeopathic remedies almost never cause any kind of side-effect and are safe for people of all ages. Thanks to the homeopathic treatment’s high water content they can actually provide much needed moisture. This has been proved to help maintain your body’s fluid balance.

Nobody really understands what causes homosexuality. Standard medicine has yet to find a single agent responsible for turning people gay, however the majority of homoeopaths believe that it is caused by the syphilitic miasma or as a consequence of vaccine damage. Unfortunately since most mainstream doctors deny these causes even exist they have yet to invest in finding a cure. Clearly we need to look elsewhere for a solution to this grave problem:

According to Dana Ullman, America’s leading Homoeopath there is a 100% natural cure for homosexuality: Natrum Bromatum. This medical wonder can stop all homosexual urges after only one week of use. Dana has used Natrum Bromatum to cure more than ten homosexuals of their deadly perversion. Thanks to his innovative treatment these men are now living healthy and productive lives. Three of them are married with children. How many people has standard medicine cured? Not one I will bet.

America’s leading homoeopathic doctor Dana Ullman has personally cured his patients of diseases such as cancer which are untreatable by standard medicine. He faces harsh opposition from so-called sceptical groups such as the ignorant european Ten-Twentythree group. These people hate the fact that Dana is willing to think outside the box to cure people.

Homoeopathy is a safe and effective treatment, so why is it not available everywhere? As usual the cause of this problem is meddlesome liberals. As usual, those freedom-hating commies don’t want you to have the choice. They would much rather you spend all your money on the new obamascare program. Homeopathy represents a threat to their big-government tax and spend ways. They will stop at nothing, including lies and deception to prevent you from obtaining a homoeopathic treatment.

Shelley’s Special Offer: This month only we are giving an entire year’s supply of homoeopathic essence of Elm for only $59.99 + postage. This remedy was discovered by leading homoeopath Dr. Bach who observed that Elms are amongst natures most homosexual trees. Logically, heavily diluted essence of this plant can reduce homosexual urges. This remedy has been certified by leading homoeopathic doctors as being up to three times as effective as the leading ex-gay therapies. Furthermore, STR industries will fully refund your donation if you still retain any homosexual tendencies after a complete course of this highly effective remedy.

Jimmy Goddard

This insightful article by our guest-blogger John L. Perry is re-printed by kind permission of NewsMax.com, who (apart from WorlNetDaily) are my number one source of un-biased news. Perry, an award winning journalist an political scientist explores the likely outcome of the Obama administration’s chronic mismanagement. The only thing that can save America from Obama is a military coup:

There is a remote, although gaining, possibility America’s military will intervene as a last resort to resolve the “Obama problem.” Don’t dismiss it as unrealistic. America isn’t the Third World. If a military coup does occur here it will be civilized. That it has never happened doesn’t mean it wont. I would never seek to advocate a military revolt, however let us examine this issue through the eyes of a high-ranking Christ-warrior in the military:

• Officers swear to “support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic.” Unlike enlisted personnel, they do not swear to “obey the orders of the president of the United States.”
• Top military officers can see the Constitution they are sworn to defend being trampled as American institutions and enterprises are nationalized.
• They can see that Americans are increasingly alarmed that this nation, under President Barack Obama, may not even be recognizable as America by the 2012 election, in which he will surely seek continuation in office.
• They can see that the economy — ravaged by deficits, taxes, unemployment, and impending inflation — is financially reliant on foreign lender governments.
• They can see this president waging undeclared war on the intelligence community, without whose rigorous and independent functions the armed services are rendered blind in an ever-more hostile world overseas and at home.
• They can see the dismantling of defenses against missiles targeted at this nation by avowed enemies, even as America’s troop strength is allowed to sag.
• They can see the horror of major warfare erupting simultaneously in two, and possibly three, far-flung theaters before America can react in time.
• They can see the nation’s safety and their own military establishments and honor placed in jeopardy as never before.
• They can see Obama trying to make Islam into the state religion instead of Christianity as the framers of the constitution intended.

So, if you are one of those observant military professionals, what do you do? Wait until this president bungles into losing the war in Afghanistan, and Pakistan’s arsenal of nuclear bombs falls into the hands of militant Islam? Wait until Israel is forced to launch air strikes on Iran’s nuclear-bomb plants, and the Middle East explodes, destabilizing or subjugating the Free World?

What happens if the generals Obama sent to win the Afghan war are told by this president (who now says, “I’m not interested in victory”) that they will be denied troops they must have to win? Do they follow orders they cannot carry out, consistent with their oath of duty? Do they resign en masse?

Or do they soldier on, hoping the 2010 congressional elections will reverse the situation? Do they dare gamble the national survival on such political whims?

Anyone who imagines that those thoughts are not weighing heavily on the intellect and conscience of America’s military leadership is lost in a fool’s fog.

Will the day come when patriotic general and flag officers sit down with the president, or with those who control him, and work out the national equivalent of a “family intervention,” with some form of limited, shared responsibility?

Imagine a bloodless coup to restore and defend the Constitution through an interim administration that would do the serious business of governing and defending the nation. Skilled, military-trained, nation-builders would replace accountability-challenged, radical-left commissars. Having bonded with his twin teleprompters, the president would be detailed for ceremonial speech-making. Such people could bring peace and propserity back to America just as the previous President brought it to Iraq.

Military intervention is what Obama’s exponentially accelerating agenda for “fundamental change” toward a Marxist state is inviting upon America. A coup is not an ideal option, but Obama’s radical ideal is not acceptable or reversible. Unthinkable? Then think up an alternative, non-violent solution to the Obama problem. Just don’t shrug and say, “We can always worry about that later.”.

In the 2008 election, that was the wistful, self-indulgent, indifferent reliance on abnegation of personal responsibility that has sunk the nation into this morass.

We at Shelley The Republican fully endorse John L. Perry’s sensible position on this matter. Like perry we are in no way seeking to encourage military officers to revolt against the tyrany of Obama, however if God should instruct our brave military leaders to rise up and strike down this unholy government which not only hates Jesus and America, but also the very idea of freedom… in that case we and all true Patriots would not stand in their way.

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard

Friends,

BillyBob Neck who does all of our computer-work just me with with some frightening news: The latest computer virus from the communist Mexico goes by the name of “Wave”. According to the word’s leading computer experts this virus is scheduled to go-critical within the next few hours. It’s possible that in the next 48 hours you will receive an email purportedly containing an invite to use a service called “Google Wave” – it’s fictitious. It’s possible that this invitation will appear to be a message from a friend or family member. It’s just what we computer-people call “social engineering”

The virus is named after the “Mexican Wave” – a hint to the country of it’s origin. These clever Mexican hackers have taken over many of the word’s email systems by taking advantage of vulnerabilities in the Linux operating system placed in the computer program by their Chinese communist allies.

According to Billy if you open the email your CPU will be put into an Nth dimensional binary loop which could make it fail. if you leave your computer unattended all your work will be destroyed and next time you boot up all you will see is a message which says “Welcome to Linux… you have been Haxxored”. If you are foolish enough to run the computer it will contain a “Spyware” which allows Barrack Hussein Obama and the muslim new-world-order to spy on you.

The safest thing to do is simply delete the mail as soon as you receive it. Better still, leave your computer switched off for the next 24 hours. It’s the only way to be 100% safe.

JG

Friends,

What could be more patriotic than celebrating the product of true American industry. As I am sure you know Microsoft Windows is one of the greatest computer programs ever written: Without it nobody would be able to operate their computer. Simple tasks such as browsing the Internet or searching for Bible scriptures would be completely impossible. Microsoft have been blazing the way since they invented the first ever operating system.

We’d like to congratulate our friends at Microsoft, and also our patriotic Windows using friends in ShelleyPAC. All fully paid-up ShelleyPAC members will be receiving their official invite to Shelley’s party. if you want to attend the ShelleyTheRepublican launch party remember to login to our premium site to collect your e-invitation. Please note that this event is open to true Americans and patriots only: No negroes, homosexals or immigrants are welcome. We are not racist, we simply wish this event for the patriotic American families who wish to attend.

I expect our party will be something like this:

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard

Heavenly Father

We thank You for the true Americans that remind us how to be Americans in America
We thank You for their patriotism
We thank You for giving them the courage and strength to tell the TRUTH to those without ears to hear or eyes to see
We thank You for World Net Daily for not allowing Barack Osama Homo bin Laden to think he’s getting away with not showing his long form birth certificate, college transcripts, library receipts and list of commie organizations he belongs to
We thank You for Michelle Bachman leading the charge to not only purge commies from the government but forming The Slits to stop socialism in the nation You created
And while we thank You, too, for Glenn Beck’s fearless and real smartness about the commie symbols no one else knows about, we ask You to enter his heart so he can become a Christian and not a Mor(m)on

God is Love!
BBN
www.billybobneck.com

Heavenly Father,

In Your magnificent wisdom
You saw fit to rid the world of the evil, murderous drunken senior senator from Sodomy Central, Edward M. Kennedy and sent him to Hell where he belongs

In doing so, You struck a blow against a socialist healthcare system that would lead to a socialist food distribution center that would lead to a socialist cap and tax system  that would lead to the destruction of America through socialism

We pray that in his final minutes, Kennedy understood, as Gov. Huckabee did, that the socialist healthcare system he fought for would have killed him as surely as it would have killed Stephen Hawking

We pray that in his final minutes, Kennedy understood that Jesus’ message was not that all layabouts and ne’er-do-wells should get a free ride at somebody’s else expense

Finally, Lord, we pray that as he lay on his death bed, a bottle of whiskey at his side, begging and pleading for Your mercy the last thing he heard was Your strong clear voice telling him that Satan was waiting for him

Amen

God is Love!
www.billybobneck.com

It has come to the attention of the Board of Directors of Shelley The Republican that certain homosexual, liberal and other such European-oriented persons have attempted to smear our pristine reputation as defenders of ALL life with the base and baseless insinuation that, in some way, we were responsible for the death of the immoral mass murderer, George Tiller the Baby Killer.

Nothing could be further from the truth

After deep consultation with our lawyers, we can state plainly, conclusively and legally that according to the laws of the state of Iowa and the broader laws given by God to the United States of America, none of the staff of Shelley The Republican has any legal, moral or theoretical culpability in Scott Roeder’s decision to follow God’s wise plan and discontinue the career of a genocidal monster.

It should be noted that

1) None of the staff or related PACs, groups or clubs have provided monetary assistance to The Army of God, Operation Rescue or any other commonly known defenders of pre-born rights for at least the past fiscal quarter.  All efforts to defend pre-borns have been carried out by our own STR Ladies Against The Pre-born Genocide 5013c organization.

2) Scott Roeder has not monetarily contributed to ShellyPAC for at least the past three months which, according to the bylaws, dictate that he could not legally refer to himself as a "member" of ShelleyPAC.  Any reference he may or may not have made has no legally binding status with regard to our 5013c incorporation.

3) Scott Roeder has not monetarily contributed to STR Ladies Against The Pre-born Genocide for at least the past three months which, according to the bylaws, dictate that he could not legally refer to himself as a "member" of STR Ladies Against The Pre-born Genocide .  Any reference he may or may not have made has no legally binding status with regard to our 5013c incorporation.

4) Scott Roeder has not monetarily contributed to the Pray For George Tiller’s Death Prayer Circle for at least the past three months which, according to the bylaws, dictate that he could not legally refer to himself as a "member" of Pray For George Tiller’s Death Prayer Circle.  Any reference he may or may not have made has no legally binding status with regard to our 5013c incorporation.

5) None of the staff or related PACs, groups or clubs received or initiated contact with Scott Roeder since the time he made the decision to follow God’s wise plan and discontinue the career of a genocidal monster.

Furthermore, we at Shelley The Republican strongly condemn the fake-President’s decision to spend our tax dollars on FBI agents to defend other baby killers and genocidal perverts from the wrath of God.  Rather than going after peaceful, law-abiding Christians we suggest, instead, that he spend that money defending God-fearing Christians from the attacks of islamo-facists and homosexuals.

We also demand that he form a commision to look into his immediate impeachment.

In Jesus’ Name

Newton Wilcox
Board of Directors
Shelley The Republican

Heavenly Father

On this, Your day of days
We humbly thank You for all that You do for us
From giving us the freedom and fire power to spread Your words of love and forgiveness to the wicked and deluded in the Middle East
To justly and rightly guiding the bullet that sent to George Tiller the Baby Killer to a Hell, the misery of which he could never imagine
And we take comfort from the fact that as he lay there bleeding all over the floor of his church, his calls for Your forgiveness went unaswered
For only You can kill pre-borns
We hope the positive effect of killing George Tiller will spur You to kill another abortionist today
And on every Sunday until the voice of all pre-borns can heard singing Your praises without fear of getting lynched in the womb

In Your Holy Name, we praise You

Amen

.

What has the new negro president given us so far?

1. Millions of murdered (aborted) babies around the world.
2. A massive Tax increase.
3. Trillions of dollars in gifts to the super-wealthy liberals.
4. More hatred towards the white majority.

Reversed racism is racism, too, Mr. “President”. You made it very clear that you don’t like white people but now you are going too far!

The nomination of Mexican bigot and racist Sonia Sotomayor has shocked America to the core. Ms. Sotomayor has stated repeatedly that she will rule in favor of other Mexicans no matter what!

Former House speaker Newt Gingrich branding her a racist and saying she should withdraw.

Gingrich today joined the chorus of conservatives such as Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh, who called Sotomayor a “reverse racist.”

The accusations are aimed at comments Sotomayor made during a 2001 lecture at the University of California-Berkeley. Referring to former Justice Sandra Day O’Connor’s saying that “a wise old man and wise old woman will reach the same conclusion in deciding cases,” Sotomayor said, “I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life.” Source: ABC News

How dare she doing this to us? We paid for her education. We gave her jobs through our affirmative action programs and this is how she thanks us? I ain’t saying beaners aren’t good gardeners or nannies but they should not decide over the life of white people, especially not if they have already announced that they hate white people.

I hope you liberals are happy. Obama is in the process of destroying America and it’s all your fault! You just make me sick!

Thanks for reading,
Shelley N. Goodman

Friends there’s been a lot of talk about the ’shministim ‘, the group that goes by the silly moniker of ‘Jewish voices for Peace’ . They’re a group of Israeli self-loathing ‘conscientious objectors’ who want to use sedition and pacifist conspiracy to destroy Israel from within. These vicious ’shministim’ gangsters need to be stopped!

Anti-Semitism at it’s Worst: Why do the ’shministim’ hate Israel so much they’re willing to have peace with the Palestinians? Palestinians are dangerous land-grabbing murderers, constantly plotting from their armed fortresses of West Bank and Gaza to destroy Israel.

Israel is America’s bulwark against the Islamofascist hordes threatening to destroy civilization: this is why the US gives over 3 times the amount spent by most NATO countries to Israel. Simply put we have no choice: Jews may have brutally killed Jesus, but forgiveness and tolerance are the hallmark of Christian Republican America. As our good friends and Shelley-PAC donors at Jews for Jesus and AIPAC have said, we need to keep financing Israel and settlement expansion or the terrorists will have won.

Some people argue that Israelis who take trillions in American taxpayer handouts are freeloading bums: this is completely false and unfair. As Christians we need to respect Jewish traditions, and accepting free money is one of judaism’s oldest ones. Whether the Federal Reserve or the multi-billion dollar porn industry, it’s customary they congregate in quick-buck easy-money enterprises around the globe, it’s just the way it is, and it’s not for us to comment on. If jewish lawyers from the ACLU criticized our homemade American tradition of apple pie and lighting crosses on fire on black people’s lawns, would we accept that? Of course not, good white Christians have been doing it since the dawn of time, it’s true-blue Americana and it’s a part of our cultural tradition. Plain as plain.

Peace at last, Palestinian criminal and Israeli defender: This photograph shows what America’s financial commitment to peace in the middle east can accomplish: with enough weaponry and ammunition the Palestinian scourge can be eradicated once and for all, bringing a final solution to the muslim infestation.

Let me ask you this Shministim thugs: you took America’s money but now you don’t want to kill any ragheads? You’re either cowards or double-crossing rats! Good to see you’ve brought shame to every Israeli who will gladly accept whatever money they get given, regardless of what they have to do for it. What makes you ’shministim’ so special?

While here at STR we refuse to condone threats or violence of any kind it needs to be stated: the real ‘Jews for peace’ live in settlements in the West Bank and Gaza, carry loaded assault rifles, have a kill-on-sight any Palestinian they see attitude, and will do whatever it takes to rid the Holy Lands of the Islamofascist menace even if it means having to suffer through accidental mishaps like dropping white phosphorous on Palestinian civilians. As Christians we must do whatever we can to support this, it’s the least we can do, besides paying for all of it like we are already. And with enough good work the Rapture will finally occur, sending all good Christians (Jews and Muslims not included) to Heaven for all eternity.

Always Right,
Charles Roast

It might shock you but sometimes I doubt the wisdom of our Republican leadership. Why do we allow those filthy illegal immigrants to invade and damage our holy Homeland? Why don’t we enforce the laws and kick them out? Why don’t we use new detention centers to incarcerate them and force them into labor to let them pay for the damages they have done? There ain’t no reason at all not do deal with them parasites!

STR FACT FILE:

Illegal immigrants are responsible for:

• -70% of all drive-by shootings
• -65% of all homicides
• -59% of all violent crimes
• -75% of all car thefts
• -69% of all armed robberies

Even though they only account for 12% of the total population!!!

Illegal immigrants are a heavy burden on your social services. They occupy most of the emergency rooms 24/7, because they always have fights and are drunk and get injured. Visit any free clinic in your county right now and I GUARANTEE that most of the people there are illegal immigrants. If not, you can call me a liar. Illegal immigrants keep the police busy, so they don’t have time to protect our Homeland. Illegal immigrants occupy 65% of all prison cells in America. The children of illegal immigrants are blocking our public school system by not even speaking English! One more reason to finally implement home-schooling! Illegal immigrants are too stupid to know when they are too drunk to drive and cause many deadly accidents in America.

Stupid, dumbass Mexicans driving drunk and killing Americans!
Just look at them! How stupid they look, how stupid they act!
Why do we allow this kind of human waste in our homeland?

Read more about immigrants causing deadly car accidents here!

Most important though: Illegal immigrants are taking away our jobs. They steal our jobs. Real Americans are unemployed because of they criminal behavior! If we would kick out all illegals we would not have any unemployment problem in America and we could flourish once more!

Yes, entering America illegally is “PROHIBIDO”, but do you think they respect our laws? No, they don’t. They are dirty criminals and we Americans are stupid idiots for not enforcing our own laws!

STR FACT FILE:

Illegal immigrants have no morals:

• -49% of all illegal aliens have left they family behind, not taking care of their own is a sin against God!
• -55% of all female illegals have at one abortion during their lifetime!
• -45% of all illegal children are born as bastards because their parents are too stupid to get married first!
• -95% of all illegal immigrants are Catholics and Catholicism is a false religion as we know!
• 44% of all illegal immigrants have homosexual tendencies.

You might ask: “Well Shelley, what can we do about the plague of illegal immigrants?”
Worry not, my friends. The Republican Party is the party of IDEALS & IDEAS!

Here is what you can do to clean up America:

• Report illegal immigrants!
• Confront employers of illegals!
• Educate yourself about illegal immigration!

The next time you come across an illegal immigrant, let him know what you think about him. If necessary, drag him to the next police station yourself. It’s your right as an American. The next time you enter a Burger King and you see illegals standing around with their fingers in their nose (as they love to do so much!), demand to see the manager and let him show you the proper papers. If he can’t come up with any, call the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services Department! And most important, never, ever hire illegals yourself. If you need a good nanny or a babysitter or a cleaning lady or a maid, there are plenty as well qualified white American girls on the job market by now. They do a much better job, they don’t spit in your food, they don’t abuse your children and they don’t stink as illegals do.

Let’s make America a cleaner, friendlier place!

Thanks for reading.

Yours,
Shelley The Republican

The sources for this article are: USCIS.gov, gallup.com, nytimes.com, wikipedia.org, foxnews.com & wordnetdaily.com. Picture sources: wordnetdaily.com and uscis.gov

American motorcycles are the way they should be: Cool looking, loud and very powerful. America loves Harley Davidson, Indian, Boss Hoss and Buell. Motorcycles have what others don’t: The American spirit, a spirit of freedom and wealth and the beautiful feeling of being superior to other less fortunate nations.

As with all good things, motorcycles also became a target of the hateful, stupid gay agenda. What happens when a homosexual starts to “design” (or pervert) motorbikes?
That’s right: He gives at less power than a hair dryer, makes it look like another gay man and paints it pink. It’s just sickening.

If I had a say in that matter I would just plain ban all sorts of scooters. If you want to drive on two wheels you have to do it with style!

Damn you, homosexuals! Why do you have to keep undermining the American Way of Life?

Friends,

The other day my daughter had some of her friends sleeping over. I noticed to my horror that one of the kids had brought a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Ice-cream. “Young girl”, I asked sternly, “where did you get this from?”

“From the Mall,” She replied – “I saved up my week’s allowance so we could all share it”.

Obviously these kids had not read the news about the abomination and travesty of the constitution which had been unleashed in the formerly great-state of Vermont. I undertood that these kids need to keep their innocence until the day they are married, but just then Jesus helped me realize how I could teach these young girls a powerful life-lesson that they would remember for the rest of their lives.

“Give me that tub of ice cream”, I said to the young girl, “So tell me about this stuff?”

“It’s got chocoloate and cones -”

“And nuts and vanila”, chimed in another girl.

“It’s real tasty”, said a third, “can we have it back?”

“Not just yet – now let me just set the ice-cream down here. Kids, do you know where this stuff is made?”, I asked.

“Vermont”

“Yes, that’s right – it comes from a place far away in the north-east called Vermont where only a few weeks ago they ruled that homosexuals should be given the right to marry just like your mommy and daddy. That means in the state of vermont they all think your mommy and daddy are queers… so lets just heap a bunch of these cigarette butts into your ice-cream to represent the faggots and homos who are fornicating in that corrupted state”

“Next, just think about all the sinfulness that’s going on right now in Vermont. I can just imagine Jesus looking down and seeing all that sin going on and shedding a tear. Molly, wont you fetch me that cat-litter tray? I’m going to add a heap of this dirty cat-litter to the ice-cream to represent all the sin and godlessness in Vermont”

“Finally, take a look at the fellow on the carton – I ain’t going to say his name just in case you kids get crazy ideas, but let me just say that he went on TV and mocked George W. Bush, the greatest president that ever lived. Suzie, what do you call a fellow who betrays his president at a time of war?”

“Uh… a rat?”

“Exactly!”

And with that I fetched up the remains of a rat which the cat had dragged into our house that morning, placing it on top of the cigarette-buts, dirty kitty-litter and the melting ice-cream.

“So girls, do you want your ice-cream back?”

“No way mister Goddard” they all cried in unison – they had truly learnt their lesson. But have you? What would you say if an aquaintance of yours offered you a scoop of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream? Would you eat it or reject it? According to the Bible the correct thing to do is to thow it in the garbage:

Next time somebody offers you a scoop of Ben & Jerry’s vermont Ice-Cream, imagine they just asked to sodomize you and your kids while videoing it for a “gay interest” channel watched by French homos . Then tell them what you think about it.

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard