STR † THE FREEDOM BLOG©

Friends,

You may have heard of the new TV show “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” – this series is aimed at young girls. According to the liberal-biased encyclopedia Wikipedia, “The show has been critically praised for its humor and moral outlook” – but is that really the case? Recently Shelley Goodman and I watched a few episodes of this series and found a great deal that responsible pro-family parents should be concerned about.

STR Fact-Sheet: My Little Pony Friendship is Magic is an animal-fantasy animation series aimed at girls aged 5 to 12. Originally launched in the 1980s, it has become popular again due to strong artistic direction and and more “edgy” themes. We feel that viewer caution should be advised, especially in the case of young children who have not yet been re-born in Christ. The show includes troubling themes such as the occult, paganism and witchcraft.

The show tells the story of six “ponies” and their various adventures. Anybody who has spent time working with livestock will confirm that these are unrealistic depictions of horses and ponies. Were the lack of realism the only problem we would have no objections to allowing this show on TV, however we found a great many more issues:

• The depiction of ponies in this series is un-biblical. According to the Bible (Gen 1:26) man has been given dominion over all beasts (including ponies), and thus the portrayal of these worker-animals as talking intelligent creatures with their own will and personality is clearly in contradiction to God’s teaching.  We would have preferred to see a more realistic portrayal of God’s creation, for example showing young men and women working the land with their ponies just as God intended. As everybody knows, Man (created in God’s image) is the only life on earth born with a soul, and capable of moral reasoning. To suggest that ponies might also have souls undermines the entire basis of the Christian Bible.

Disturbing- is this show suitable for yong girls?

• The show is created by a young woman named Lauren Faust – if that names seems familiar to you it should be: According to legend, Faust was the name of the person who sold his soul to the devil in return for great wealth and power. It’s highly probable that Satan has chosen Ms Faust to be his modern-day emissary of evil. The signs are clear.
• From what we can tell, the ponies do not seem to have any belief in God. There was not one single reference to Christianity, Jesus or the Holy Bible in any of the episodes we watched. There were countless references to paganism, the occult and black-magic. We are concerned that watching this show might encourage young girls to experiment with the dark arts. We advise any parents who suspect their child has seen this show to consult their pastor.

Typical female My Little Pony fans: Is this an acceptable way for a young woman to dress?

• While ponies are certainly real animals, and unicorns definitly did exist (Job 39:9-12), “Pegasus Ponies” appear to be a creature found only in ancient greek pagan religions. We do not understand why Hasbro felt the need to include this obviously false pagan hogwash other than to cause further confusion in the minds of young girls.
• The show presents a biblically incorrect cosmology. Starting with the very first episode it claims that the sun and the moon’s motion is caused by a pair of winged unicorns. This is wrong as the Bible states that the motion of the planets is due to God’s will alone.
• The show is socialist: Various ponies appear to practice trades (for example Pinkie-Pie is a baker, Rarity is a seamstress and Twilight Sparkle is an occultist), and yet they do not appear to charge for their services (even the satanic Ms Sparkle), this is a model of a communist society envisaged by Marx. There’s no money or entrepreneurship. Is this an acceptable role model for young girls?
• In a number of episodes the Pegasus Pony Rainbow-Dash is seen controlling the weather. Young people should know that only God has the power to influence our environment (Psalms 148:8, Jonah 1:4). This is yet another blatant lie intended to corrupt American girls.

Who controls the weather? Most leading scholars agree that only God can control storms – however this show wants us to believe that a blue pony has God’s power!

If these were the only faults in the series, I might conclude that Hasbro were ignorant dupes however there is a great deal more to be concerned with. In Episode 23 “The Cutie Mark Chronicles” three young ponies calling themselves “The Cutie Mark Crusaders” go on a quest to find a magical picture for their hind-quarters. The fact that they have called themselves “Crusaders” is ironic given that their quest seems to have nothing to do with Christ! Any child viewing this episode might conclude that our savior died so that you can have a tatoo on your your butt!

The Cutie-Mark Crusaders? If they are not crusading for Christ, then who? This is a question that all responsible parents should ask.

We found this show very disappointing – as with any product from the liberal media you should never believe the hype. Time and time again the show’s producers passed up the opportunity to deliver a moral message grounded in Biblical values in favor of cheap entertainment. We do not doubt the show’s popularity amongst secular audiences however they have a great deal more work to do if they want to create something as successful as  the excellent Veggie-Tales.

If only this were not the most disturbing aspect of the show: It may seem astonishing and implausible but there is a growing group of older male fans of this show. They call themselves “Bronies” – many of the web-resources dedicated to the show are built by these bronies in order to attract more children to the show. While there are no doubt some male fans who enjoy the show for their own personal reasons, we should all be suspicious of a grown men who watch cartoons!

What can you do to stop My Little Pony:

• Ask your children whether they have seen this cartoon – if they have read from the instructive Bible passages referenced above to correct any misconceptions they may have learned from the show.
• Explain to your daughter that ponies do not have souls – they are merely beasts of burden. Explain that it is sinful and unbiblical to think otherwise. Help your children understand what real ponies are like: Take them to a farm or your local petting zoo. Explain to your child that real ponies were created by God, not Lauren Faust!
• Warn your children away from older men who like My Little Pony – they are almost certainly pederasts or perverts. Explain to your kids that if they ever meet a “brony” they are to tell a responsible adult such as your pastor or a fellow church-going parent.
• Whenever you see an episode of this cartoon on the Internet, “Flag” it as harmful. Do whatever you can to get this content off the internet.
• And most importantly: Prayer – together with Jesus we can get this sick filth of the TV

Yours in Christ,

James Goddard Jr

Friends,

This brave reporter is simply asking a question – but look how Barrack Hussein Obama’s press officer avoids the issue.

Will somebody tell me why this official of the US Government is ignoring a pertinent question from a brave citizen reporter? The American people have a right to know if BHO supports sodomy and bestiality in the military.

Does the president want an armed force in which all of the soldiers are sodomising each other or assaulting livestock? And why does the president want our troops engaged in carnal abominations – is it to make us vulnerable to a fifth column of Islamists and secularists who are already plotting our nation’s destruction?

I can honestly say I do not know the answer to these questions – but what I do know is that there is no smoke without fire. What conspiracy is the Obama government hiding here? You tell me why the President’s spokesperson refused to deny Obama’s pro-bestiality position?

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard

Friends,

What is the institution upon which our once-great nation was founded? The Bill of Rights, The Constitution, The Mayflower Accord? No – look in your very own book-case for the real answer: The Holy Bible and Christian Marriage. Our Christian nation was founded on God’s law to be a shining example of morality and Christianity for the world to see.

Unfortunately our nation has been perverted by liberals, negros, jews, the illuminati, illegal immigrants – but most all the homos. These groups wish to destroy America from the inside by spreading the lie that we are a secular nation. No state is more corrupt than California – an ugly “blue state” where a federal judge just thrust a jagged dagger into the beating heart of marriage.

Judge walker ruled that homos should have exactly the same rights to marry as heterosexual couples. If everything is legally the same then that our normal marriages are now legally homosexual! That’s right – Judge Walker is trying to make us ALL GAY!

It’s time to act: We the readers of STR do not wish to be turned into gays. That is why Shelley The Republican and America’s leading pro-family group the Alliance Defence Fund will appeal this dangerous ruling. The Senior Council of ADF gave this sobering statement:

“We will certainly appeal this disappointing decision. Its impact could be devastating to marriage and the democratic process,” Raum said. “It’s not radical for more than 7 million Californians to protect marriage as they’ve always known it. What would be radical would be to allow a handful of activists to gut the core of the American democratic system and, in addition, force the entire country to accept a system that intentionally denies children the mom and the dad they deserve.”

Why cant the liberals accept Brian’s simple logic? Cant they see how allowing the gays to marry infringes on the civil rights of the seven million people in California want to live in peace without giggling homos performing acts of sexual lewdness on every street corner.

Please Pray for:

• A return to righteousness across America.
• People whose lives will be impacted by the result of this ruling.
• For the appeal process now by mounted by the Alliance Defense Fund.

Friends,

It’s very difficult to find a review of Linux free of ultra-leftist bias, which is why ShelleyTheRepublican’s annual review of Linux has become the most trusted source of truthful information about this operating system upstart: Christians the world over know that they can turn to STR for factual and unbiased reviews of the latest technology. That is why every God-Given year we like to compare the state of the art Linux and ask the simple question – is Linux ready for the desktop yet? So far the answer has been a resounding no. The freedom-hating red-communist Linux freetards have consistently failed to deliver compared to American free-market solutions such as Microsoft Windows. Our Christianity teaches us that redemption is possible. so this is why we are mindful to check that users of free-software have improved their ways.

When we last reviewed Linux we pitched the then state-of-the art “Ibex’s Ubutu Interpid” against Microsoft’s excellent flagship Windows Vista. We felt that Vista outclassed Ibex’s open source operating system, however we did note that since the Ibex operating system could be downloaded for free it may be suitable for non-business critical tasks (e.g. lightweight letter-writing, or web-surfing) – provided you can overcome it’s idiosyncratic user interface. We were not 100% uncritical of Microsoft’s offering: We felt that at the time Apple and Microsoft were both failing in terms of their provision of Christian oriented biblical software, and the important task of pornography filtering.

You may also remember that we promoted a stern criticism of Apple’s tendancy to appeal to the homosexual agenda with their range of candy coloured gadgets and open adoption of liberal values. Since then we are proud to say that Steve Jobs of the Apple company has listened to our sensible criticisms and developed a brand new product called the iPad with the needs of American Christians like ourselves in mind. As you may know for the last two months every bit of content on our site has been written on Apple’s 100% porn free device, which we agree is the obvious future of computing.

Meanwhile, Linux seems to have lost ground: A year ago we were told that Linux would soon be the dominant operating system on mobile phones: Even their staunchest adocate Google seems to have abandoned Linux in favour of it’s homage to iPhone called Android. Linux users seem to be leaving the operating system in droves, most likely as a consequence of the continued in-fighting between the various companies such as the business-oriented Red-Hat and the increasingly absurd maker of Ubunto which has just renamed itself to “Lucid Lynx”. A year ago Linux could be found on popular video-game consoles – even Sony who once promoted this freetard operating system have come to realize that free software is commercial suicide.

Incidentally, we tried to install this software without much luck: We were able to conclude that this African-made version of the Linux operating system we can confidently say it’s the President Obma of computer-programs: All ideology but rotten to the core. Nobody could enjoy this nigger-rigged operating system.

Our installation woes began right from the start: The install CD forced us to re-format the entire hard drive. It would not install on a perferctly normal Windows NTFS partition. The installation process asked us a bunch of pointless questions (such as where we live) – why not just make a version for Americans since few other countries can afford or know how to use computers. Next we had to wait for almost an hour as the CD drive copied thousands of meaningless files to the computer’s hard drive. As you may know, Ubunto are known for packaging their operating systems with hundreds of megabytes of bloatware with bizarre names such as Gnome, and Pidgin. Alas the documentation came with no freetard to English dictionary to allow me to make sense of this gibberish. How much simpler Apple’s model which is to simple ship the device with everything pre-installed!

A wasted hour later the system finally permitted me to login, boy what a disappointment. If we were under any doubts about the sanity of the developers before our suspicions were confirmed by the mass of swirling pink which is their excuse for a desktop. The disapointment was double since we could not find any means of installing software. The usual approach of browsing the web and then clicking on setup.exe did not work. Ubunto first complained that it did not have any Wine and then kept asking for me to type in “root password” – this was a bizarre charade of security especially given that the user-name I had created was not even called root! Why should a computer require wine in order to run – we have no plans to test the effects of giving wine to a computer.

After much research I figured that Ubunto intend us to use something called “Synaptic” to install programs: Compared to Apple’s lively market this synaptic is like a store in pre-collapse communist Russia. The presentation is awful and it lacks any of the software brand you or I might find familiar. For example a search for Microsoft Office will yield nothing of use. So what are we supposed to use for our word-processing? Ubuntu actually provide a number of word-processors the most well-known being Open-Office: You may remember that the bankrupted computer company Sun were so unsuccessful selling this failed product that they had to give it away. Linux users are used to this kind of thing, it probably explains why they are such losers!

What’s new in Ubunto? A spinning desktop, what must have begun as a practical joke actually made it into their release. This feature caused us to feel motion sickness. We are considering legal action against the developers.

Installing great Christian software on the iPad was a breeze: Simply activate Apple’s easy to use market icon and type in the kind of software you want. A search for the word “bible” gave us an excellent selection of bible quizzes, reference and concordance. You can even download a spoken word bible for when you want some prayerful bedtime listening. Apple’s iPad has everything that a Christian could ever need – simply the best selection of Bible related apps.

Since there are no apps worth speaking of for Ubunto – I expect that most people will use it for little more than browsing the web. Here parents should take note. Unlike the iPad which includes excellent porn filtering software Ubunto ships with nothing at all. We wondered if any of these ubunto people have children? Most likely they have already been sacrificed a pagan African god since they are apparently unconcerned by the needs of typical American parents. We found that it was possible to browse pornographic sites for hours and hours without any form of obstruction. The danger of this should be immediately apparent to any parent who does not wish their children to become pornography addicts.

Once again, we are forced to conclude that not only is Linux not yet ready for the desktop – it has entirely missed the boat. The desktop PC is dead – nobody uses them any more. Ubunto should be consigned to the scrap-heap of Ghetto technology and never considered again.

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard

Folks, at STR we feel as Christians that it is important to stay on top of the latest popular psychosis affecting today’s youth. That is why we need to warn people about the dance style known as Electronic Body Music. For those of you not already aware, Electronic Body Music (aka ‘EBM’ for short) is a combination of militarized marching to mindless computer-generated drumbeats, while invoking homosexual ‘vogue’ emotiveness and overtly suicidal gay ‘Goth’ styles, replete with black clothing and death-imagery. The EBM / Goth style is a cry for help, and a sure sign that someone is going to commit suicide or a murder or worse. It is our responsibility to not allow this!

EBM / Goth Dance: with choreographed moves like military soldiers, these ‘techno’ dance Goths are heavily involved in death-imagery and Satanism and the occult.

YouTube user ‘peanutgurly‘ who created these videos is from Germany. Surprised? Germans are obsessed with death and hatred of all living things. This is why they only listen to wretched ‘electro’ synthetic music instead of real songs, and also why they dress entirely in black in worship of evil and the occult. Germans are violent and angry people who want to hurt everyone they see, it’s just something they cannot help from doing owing to their violent past, culture and DNA.

EBM / Goth Lesbian Dancing: these goth lesbians dance to their synthetic music, and celebrate their inability to have children. Personally I feel the taller one on the left is the more attractive of the two.

Let’s be clear: the dancing looks trivial, but so too was Hitler’s rounding-up enemies of the state for execution. Germans are the world’s most notorious killers: first they dance, and then millions wind up murdered. It is the way the sick German mind works, with it’s deeply demented obsession with synthetic music, synthetic lifestyle, and constant mockery of life and the beauty of the world around us. We must organize to stop this, and encourage all of STR’s reader to help any way they can. It can never be allowed to happen ever again. Let us never forget the millions killed by the Nazi’s in their horrible concentration camps, and let us never allow the German’s to do their Dance of Death ever again.

Always Right,
Charles Roast

Friends,

Failed presidential candidate John Kerry has revealed his sinister plan to turn America gay: He wants to allow the homos to give blood. Please take a moment to read this sobering and informative article World Net Daily, probably the most important news website in the whole of America.

How can you tell these gay blood cells from normal ones? Simple, they have a slightly pinkish tinge which betrays their former owners low moral standards. Christian blood by comparison is of the deepest red, like that which Christ bled while suffering on the cross.

We all know that gay blood is filled with AIDS and other diseases that Jesus sent to to the world to punish the homos, but what few people understand is that the gay blood also contains sinfulness. That blood has been tainted by the sin of lustful thoughts and actions. If you are unfortunate enough to have that sinner’s blood transfused into you then you will be part sinner. You can try to pray the gay away, for some it works but for many it does not. That is why we cannot possibly allow homosexuals to mingle their dirty blood into our life-giving supplies.

The only known cure for gay-blood is the blood of Christ, which as you can see is a completely different colour. If you suspect that you may have been made gay by receiving homo-blood then you ha better pray that your sins be washed away in the blood of Christ.

Has John Kerry thought this through? His proposal does not even include the most rudimentary labelling. For example there would be no way of knowing whether the blood a doctor is about to put into a child’s innocent body is from a godly individual or a human cess-pool. I’d rather see my child bleed to death than risk have him become gay because of exposure to the corrupt blood of sinners.

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard

I’m real sorry for putting this up late. The lie-berals over at WMFO apparent thought this show was too truthful and went and messed up the place that you get the thing from. Too bad for them that a lot of former godless Linux users find the strength and hope of Jesus Christ and was able to get the show anyway! Guess y’all lost again, SATAN!

Anyway, the “president” wants to let homos fight like girls in the military, which I guess makes sense if ya wanna lose the glorious War on Terror but like a retired military man told me, “ya can’t protect the front AND protect the rear.”

I also talk about the travesty of convicting Scott Roeder in 37mins and the good common sense of Phyllis Schlafly talking about how women can’t be oppressed cuz they live longer than men. Why don’t lie-beral THINK??

God is Love!
BBN

Friends,

Do you know somebody who is suffering from homosexuality? Leading psychologists such as James Dobson agree that homosexuality is a sick diseased perversion which must be cured. However until now ex-gay therapies have been expensive and hard to obtain. Despite our prayers and best lobbying efforts most insurance companies will not pay for treatment to cure homosexuality. That may all soon change thanks to the re-discovery of a 200 year old remedy: Homeopathy.

Hahnmann discovered that the more you dilute a substance the more potent it becomes. This simple, common-sense fact has been suppressed by mainstream science who simply do not want you to know that God has given us the power to heal ourselves!

Homoeopathy was discovered in 1796 by the physician Samuel Hahnmann: He was the first to notice that water has a “memory” allowing it to be subtly changed by substances even when greatly diluted. Hahnmann was first to postulate the “Law of similars” which showed that like can treat like. He proved that if sufficiently diluted coffee can actually cure insomnia. Now why is it that big-pharma has kept this medical wonder secret?

According to standard allopathic medicine AIDS is caused by the HIV Virus (above), however leading scientists dispute this highly controversial hypothesis: According to leading homoeopath Dana Ullman, both AIDS and homosexuality are caused by a bodily energy imbalance which can be corrected by homoeopathic treatment. According to the liberal media there is an epidemic of AIDS, so why are they not embracing every possible treatment? It’s an undisputed fact that Homoeopathy can cure AIDS.

Mainstream or “Allopathic” medicine such as vaccines or anti-biotics use high concentrations of dangerous substances and often cause side-effects which can be worse than the diseases they purport to treat. Homoeopathic remedies almost never cause any kind of side-effect and are safe for people of all ages. Thanks to the homeopathic treatment’s high water content they can actually provide much needed moisture. This has been proved to help maintain your body’s fluid balance.

Nobody really understands what causes homosexuality. Standard medicine has yet to find a single agent responsible for turning people gay, however the majority of homoeopaths believe that it is caused by the syphilitic miasma or as a consequence of vaccine damage. Unfortunately since most mainstream doctors deny these causes even exist they have yet to invest in finding a cure. Clearly we need to look elsewhere for a solution to this grave problem:

According to Dana Ullman, America’s leading Homoeopath there is a 100% natural cure for homosexuality: Natrum Bromatum. This medical wonder can stop all homosexual urges after only one week of use. Dana has used Natrum Bromatum to cure more than ten homosexuals of their deadly perversion. Thanks to his innovative treatment these men are now living healthy and productive lives. Three of them are married with children. How many people has standard medicine cured? Not one I will bet.

America’s leading homoeopathic doctor Dana Ullman has personally cured his patients of diseases such as cancer which are untreatable by standard medicine. He faces harsh opposition from so-called sceptical groups such as the ignorant european Ten-Twentythree group. These people hate the fact that Dana is willing to think outside the box to cure people.

Homoeopathy is a safe and effective treatment, so why is it not available everywhere? As usual the cause of this problem is meddlesome liberals. As usual, those freedom-hating commies don’t want you to have the choice. They would much rather you spend all your money on the new obamascare program. Homeopathy represents a threat to their big-government tax and spend ways. They will stop at nothing, including lies and deception to prevent you from obtaining a homoeopathic treatment.

Shelley’s Special Offer: This month only we are giving an entire year’s supply of homoeopathic essence of Elm for only $59.99 + postage. This remedy was discovered by leading homoeopath Dr. Bach who observed that Elms are amongst natures most homosexual trees. Logically, heavily diluted essence of this plant can reduce homosexual urges. This remedy has been certified by leading homoeopathic doctors as being up to three times as effective as the leading ex-gay therapies. Furthermore, STR industries will fully refund your donation if you still retain any homosexual tendencies after a complete course of this highly effective remedy.

Jimmy Goddard

Friends,

It makes me proud to see true patriots like our friends in the Question 1 campaign fighting against the sin of godless homosexuality. Like much of America the great state of Maine is plagued by homosexual demons trying to turn our children into gays. Iowa allowed homos to marry and just look at what happened: We see a state in permanent moral and spiritual decline. Jesus does not want that to happen in Maine:

See how simple that is: If we allow the gays to marry then all of our schools will promote gayness. If you want to end homosexuality simply prevent the gays from marrying. It couldn’t be any more logical and obvious than that. As Alan Keys said – we need a constitutional amendment to protect the institute of marriage from these evil homos, but until we get a godly congress to vote in Bible based law we are going to fight them in every single state.

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard

I just wanna address Mr. Barney “Uranus” Frank for a moment.  I know yer a lie-beral defeaot-crat buttsex-having homo socialist but that ain’t no reason to go and call people names.  I don’t know if you even understand that you got elected to Congress by people like the woman you tried shout down as stupid, crazy and calling her furniture.  Sir: We ain’t furniture and you can’t have sex with us.  We are flesh and blood human beings made in GOD’s image not in the image of a setee.  That maybe how fat Commie homos in Massachusetts talk to people, but in the rest of the United States Of America that kinda insult and ridicule just don’t cut it and if y’all can’t have a truthful, civil discussion about how you wanna kill grandma, then y’all better look for a new job.

Briefly Patriotic – Barney Frank: Life In Uranus

We tried to warn y’all that riding a bike instead of driving a car would lead to sin, sodomy, economic collapse and the death of America.  But you wouldn’t listen.  "Ha ha," you snickered in you’re high pitch homo laugh, "it’s just a bike.  What wrong with riding a bike?  You don’t use no gas.  You help the ‘environment’.  You get exercise.  Ain’t nothing wrong with riding a bike!"

One of these days one of two things is gonna happen -

1) Y’all will start listening to us when we tell you to listen to God

2) You’re gonna wake up with the flesh burning off your body in Hell and wished you’d listened to us when we told you to listen to God.

Satan can’t wait to get you into Hell so he
can’t torture you for all eternity.  And it ain’t
gonna be easy torture like waterboarding.

What did riding a bike get us?  The World Naked Bike Ride , that’s what, and if that don’t make God angry enough to bring about the Rapture, then I don’t know what will.

What’s The World Naked Bike Ride?  It’s people riding bikes…NAKED.  Right out in plain view!  Taking their clothes off and showing their nakedness not only in front of God but in front of people they ain’t got no cause to show their nakedness to!  Imagine leaving church with your young son one afternoon only to be confronted with thousands of naked people on bikes!  What kinda damage is that gonna inflict on that poor child?  What kinda horrible nightmares will he about getting chased by oversized breasts and genitalia?  Is that gonna instill the proper sense of shame that God gave to Adam and Eve about their nakedness?  Or is it gonna spur him on to rip off his clothing and join a filthy hippie bike commune?

I’d say yes.

Bike riding can lead to lesbianism, homosexuality, body painting
and white slavery.

And it goes beyond disobeying the word of God.  It’s a blow to the American economy which runs on oil, coal and natural gas.  Guess who loves riding bikes?  Commies and yurpeens, that’s who.  How are their economies doing?  Not as good as ours.  Why?  Cuz we don’t ride bikes. Americans are putting money back into the economy every time they go to the pump unlike the selfish and self-serving so-called "citizens of the world" who don’t care about their economy cuz they don’t wanna work anyway.  They’d rather just ride around the countryside picking loganberries and singing The Internacionale.

Support America!  Drive a car!

American motorcycles are the way they should be: Cool looking, loud and very powerful. America loves Harley Davidson, Indian, Boss Hoss and Buell. Motorcycles have what others don’t: The American spirit, a spirit of freedom and wealth and the beautiful feeling of being superior to other less fortunate nations.

As with all good things, motorcycles also became a target of the hateful, stupid gay agenda. What happens when a homosexual starts to “design” (or pervert) motorbikes?
That’s right: He gives at less power than a hair dryer, makes it look like another gay man and paints it pink. It’s just sickening.

If I had a say in that matter I would just plain ban all sorts of scooters. If you want to drive on two wheels you have to do it with style!

Damn you, homosexuals! Why do you have to keep undermining the American Way of Life?

Friends,

The other day my daughter had some of her friends sleeping over. I noticed to my horror that one of the kids had brought a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Ice-cream. “Young girl”, I asked sternly, “where did you get this from?”

“From the Mall,” She replied – “I saved up my week’s allowance so we could all share it”.

Obviously these kids had not read the news about the abomination and travesty of the constitution which had been unleashed in the formerly great-state of Vermont. I undertood that these kids need to keep their innocence until the day they are married, but just then Jesus helped me realize how I could teach these young girls a powerful life-lesson that they would remember for the rest of their lives.

“Give me that tub of ice cream”, I said to the young girl, “So tell me about this stuff?”

“It’s got chocoloate and cones -”

“And nuts and vanila”, chimed in another girl.

“It’s real tasty”, said a third, “can we have it back?”

“Not just yet – now let me just set the ice-cream down here. Kids, do you know where this stuff is made?”, I asked.

“Vermont”

“Yes, that’s right – it comes from a place far away in the north-east called Vermont where only a few weeks ago they ruled that homosexuals should be given the right to marry just like your mommy and daddy. That means in the state of vermont they all think your mommy and daddy are queers… so lets just heap a bunch of these cigarette butts into your ice-cream to represent the faggots and homos who are fornicating in that corrupted state”

“Next, just think about all the sinfulness that’s going on right now in Vermont. I can just imagine Jesus looking down and seeing all that sin going on and shedding a tear. Molly, wont you fetch me that cat-litter tray? I’m going to add a heap of this dirty cat-litter to the ice-cream to represent all the sin and godlessness in Vermont”

“Finally, take a look at the fellow on the carton – I ain’t going to say his name just in case you kids get crazy ideas, but let me just say that he went on TV and mocked George W. Bush, the greatest president that ever lived. Suzie, what do you call a fellow who betrays his president at a time of war?”

“Uh… a rat?”

“Exactly!”

And with that I fetched up the remains of a rat which the cat had dragged into our house that morning, placing it on top of the cigarette-buts, dirty kitty-litter and the melting ice-cream.

“So girls, do you want your ice-cream back?”

“No way mister Goddard” they all cried in unison – they had truly learnt their lesson. But have you? What would you say if an aquaintance of yours offered you a scoop of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream? Would you eat it or reject it? According to the Bible the correct thing to do is to thow it in the garbage:

Next time somebody offers you a scoop of Ben & Jerry’s vermont Ice-Cream, imagine they just asked to sodomize you and your kids while videoing it for a “gay interest” channel watched by French homos . Then tell them what you think about it.

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard