It’s very difficult to find a review of Linux free of ultra-leftist bias, which is why ShelleyTheRepublican’s annual review of Linux has become the most trusted source of truthful information about this operating system upstart: Christians the world over know that they can turn to STR for factual and unbiased reviews of the latest technology. That is why every God-Given year we like to compare the state of the art Linux and ask the simple question – is Linux ready for the desktop yet? So far the answer has been a resounding no. The freedom-hating red-communist Linux freetards have consistently failed to deliver compared to American free-market solutions such as Microsoft Windows. Our Christianity teaches us that redemption is possible. so this is why we are mindful to check that users of free-software have improved their ways.

When we last reviewed Linux we pitched the then state-of-the art “Ibex’s Ubutu Interpid” against Microsoft’s excellent flagship Windows Vista. We felt that Vista outclassed Ibex’s open source operating system, however we did note that since the Ibex operating system could be downloaded for free it may be suitable for non-business critical tasks (e.g. lightweight letter-writing, or web-surfing) – provided you can overcome it’s idiosyncratic user interface. We were not 100% uncritical of Microsoft’s offering: We felt that at the time Apple and Microsoft were both failing in terms of their provision of Christian oriented biblical software, and the important task of pornography filtering.

You may also remember that we promoted a stern criticism of Apple’s tendancy to appeal to the homosexual agenda with their range of candy coloured gadgets and open adoption of liberal values. Since then we are proud to say that Steve Jobs of the Apple company has listened to our sensible criticisms and developed a brand new product called the iPad with the needs of American Christians like ourselves in mind. As you may know for the last two months every bit of content on our site has been written on Apple’s 100% porn free device, which we agree is the obvious future of computing.

Meanwhile, Linux seems to have lost ground: A year ago we were told that Linux would soon be the dominant operating system on mobile phones: Even their staunchest adocate Google seems to have abandoned Linux in favour of it’s homage to iPhone called Android. Linux users seem to be leaving the operating system in droves, most likely as a consequence of the continued in-fighting between the various companies such as the business-oriented Red-Hat and the increasingly absurd maker of Ubunto which has just renamed itself to “Lucid Lynx”. A year ago Linux could be found on popular video-game consoles – even Sony who once promoted this freetard operating system have come to realize that free software is commercial suicide.

Incidentally, we tried to install this software without much luck: We were able to conclude that this African-made version of the Linux operating system we can confidently say it’s the President Obma of computer-programs: All ideology but rotten to the core. Nobody could enjoy this nigger-rigged operating system.

Our installation woes began right from the start: The install CD forced us to re-format the entire hard drive. It would not install on a perferctly normal Windows NTFS partition. The installation process asked us a bunch of pointless questions (such as where we live) – why not just make a version for Americans since few other countries can afford or know how to use computers. Next we had to wait for almost an hour as the CD drive copied thousands of meaningless files to the computer’s hard drive. As you may know, Ubunto are known for packaging their operating systems with hundreds of megabytes of bloatware with bizarre names such as Gnome, and Pidgin. Alas the documentation came with no freetard to English dictionary to allow me to make sense of this gibberish. How much simpler Apple’s model which is to simple ship the device with everything pre-installed!

A wasted hour later the system finally permitted me to login, boy what a disappointment. If we were under any doubts about the sanity of the developers before our suspicions were confirmed by the mass of swirling pink which is their excuse for a desktop. The disapointment was double since we could not find any means of installing software. The usual approach of browsing the web and then clicking on setup.exe did not work. Ubunto first complained that it did not have any Wine and then kept asking for me to type in “root password” – this was a bizarre charade of security especially given that the user-name I had created was not even called root! Why should a computer require wine in order to run – we have no plans to test the effects of giving wine to a computer.

After much research I figured that Ubunto intend us to use something called “Synaptic” to install programs: Compared to Apple’s lively market this synaptic is like a store in pre-collapse communist Russia. The presentation is awful and it lacks any of the software brand you or I might find familiar. For example a search for Microsoft Office will yield nothing of use. So what are we supposed to use for our word-processing? Ubuntu actually provide a number of word-processors the most well-known being Open-Office: You may remember that the bankrupted computer company Sun were so unsuccessful selling this failed product that they had to give it away. Linux users are used to this kind of thing, it probably explains why they are such losers!

What’s new in Ubunto? A spinning desktop, what must have begun as a practical joke actually made it into their release. This feature caused us to feel motion sickness. We are considering legal action against the developers.

Installing great Christian software on the iPad was a breeze: Simply activate Apple’s easy to use market icon and type in the kind of software you want. A search for the word “bible” gave us an excellent selection of bible quizzes, reference and concordance. You can even download a spoken word bible for when you want some prayerful bedtime listening. Apple’s iPad has everything that a Christian could ever need – simply the best selection of Bible related apps.

Since there are no apps worth speaking of for Ubunto – I expect that most people will use it for little more than browsing the web. Here parents should take note. Unlike the iPad which includes excellent porn filtering software Ubunto ships with nothing at all. We wondered if any of these ubunto people have children? Most likely they have already been sacrificed a pagan African god since they are apparently unconcerned by the needs of typical American parents. We found that it was possible to browse pornographic sites for hours and hours without any form of obstruction. The danger of this should be immediately apparent to any parent who does not wish their children to become pornography addicts.

Once again, we are forced to conclude that not only is Linux not yet ready for the desktop – it has entirely missed the boat. The desktop PC is dead – nobody uses them any more. Ubunto should be consigned to the scrap-heap of Ghetto technology and never considered again.

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard

iPhone Sluts: many teenagers are first introduced to the iPhone by homosexuals who then force it onto mainstream society.

One of the worst phones ever produced, Apple’s iPhone is a festooned shimmering gegaw aimed heavily at the high-end homosexual market. When everything ‘gay is in’ Apple then cunningly used this to force it’s way into the heterosexual phone market and teenagers in particular.

Toxik & Hemmoraphage: cam girls Toxik and Hemmoraphage grit their teeth and prepare for another bathroom-mirror photo with their camera phone, after their previous 743 submissions to SuicideGirls.com were rejected.

Teenagers routinely flaunt their sexuality using camera phones. Whereas modesty and tact used to be the norm for young adults, now because of camera phones they have become celebrity-wannabe floozies parading themselves around the internet in drunken naked stupors that disgust even convicted sexual predators at how ridiculously they are over-exposing themselves.

PsiikoKittii: the camera phone has become such a part of PsiikoKittii’s daily behavior that she emails friends, teachers, employers and random strangers naked photographs of herself out of habit. She is also addicted to marihuana and says that ‘having sex for money is great!’

Are camera phones a gateway to sex-for-pay and prostitution? Yes, at STR we’ve proven conclusively that within 38 days of using her first camera phone, a teenage girl is 57% likely to engage in some kind of webchat-for-money or selling images or herself in exchange for monetary favors.

JailbaitGallery: many of the young women in JailbaitGallery.com use camera phones, they’re so pretty I’d even stop dating my step-daughter for one of them.

As Christians we need to tell the public what’s what’s really going on when it comes to camera phones: the technology has allowed our young people to become so permissive in their morals that they are on the road straight to Hell with no turning back. If you see a young person with a camera phone make certain to confiscate it, better yet tell them you’re a Christian and that they’re going to hell in a handbasket if they don’t stop using it immediately! It wouldn’t hurt to slap it out of their hands and maybe step on it a few times, either. Trust me, they’ll thank you later when they realize that all the monetary costs to replace a camera phone are nothing compared to an eternal lifetime.. burning in HELL!

Always Right,
Charles Roast

Pennsylvania Tax Authority: about time someone stepped-up to the plate, America has gone from being a proud nation of World Class butt-kicking go-getters, to a bunch of Toms sitting around all day trying to weasel out of paying their taxes.

The lady in the advertisement even gives Tom a choice: if he agrees to pay the $4100+ owed they’ll reduce the penalty and only charge half the interest. Sounds like a swell deal to me, let’s hope the deadbeat Tom’s of the world get off their keisters and finally do something besides watching Oprah and stealing porn off the internet. America has given Tom everything: he has a nice car, happy kids, a beautiful house, and a sexy wife. And the Pennsylvania government knows all this in detail, right down to the sexy photos of Tom’s wife. Would Tom want something troublesome to happen to him? Or maybe his house or his car, or God forbid his hot wife? No he would not. And while we here at STR would never advocate violence, we need to state it loud and clear to the Toms of America to do the right thing and pay the hell up now. Or you’re going to regret it.

Always Right,
Chuck Roast

EBM / Goth Dance: with choreographed moves like military soldiers, these ‘techno’ dance Goths are heavily involved in death-imagery and Satanism and the occult.

YouTube user ‘peanutgurly‘ who created these videos is from Germany. Surprised? Germans are obsessed with death and hatred of all living things. This is why they only listen to wretched ‘electro’ synthetic music instead of real songs, and also why they dress entirely in black in worship of evil and the occult. Germans are violent and angry people who want to hurt everyone they see, it’s just something they cannot help from doing owing to their violent past, culture and DNA.

EBM / Goth Lesbian Dancing: these goth lesbians dance to their synthetic music, and celebrate their inability to have children. Personally I feel the taller one on the left is the more attractive of the two.

Let’s be clear: the dancing looks trivial, but so too was Hitler’s rounding-up enemies of the state for execution. Germans are the world’s most notorious killers: first they dance, and then millions wind up murdered. It is the way the sick German mind works, with it’s deeply demented obsession with synthetic music, synthetic lifestyle, and constant mockery of life and the beauty of the world around us. We must organize to stop this, and encourage all of STR’s reader to help any way they can. It can never be allowed to happen ever again. Let us never forget the millions killed by the Nazi’s in their horrible concentration camps, and let us never allow the German’s to do their Dance of Death ever again.

Always Right,
Charles Roast

IceWeasel Mosaic: many of the linux programmers are yellows who are addicted to jap porn, hence their ability to apply a mosaic to the browser’s Ice Weasel logo. It didn’t fool anyone here though, we knew exactly what they were up to!

Recently Microsoft announced a Second Shot Voucher Program allowing people to rewrite, and rewrite, and keep rewriting their Microsoft IT certifications. This is precisely why Microsoft is the world leader in Information Technology, because even when you fail, with Microsoft you win, even if you fail, and fail, and fail again. That’s why we brought the censored IceWeasel logo to several of STR’s scripture-trained MCP ‘Second Shot’ graduates, who were able to quickly figure out the problem.

IceWeasel Humping: using several of our bible-trained MCSE’s we were able to change the ‘secret Agent user string’ in Internet Explorer allowing us to ‘see’ the filth the linux users were putting up uncensored on the internet. Was the IceWeasel site rated ‘xxx’? No it was not.

The linux ‘shell hackers’ have not fooled anyone with proper Microsoft certification training. We were able to see through this ‘mosaic’, revealing the exact kind of pornographic material the linux community is known to constantly share among each other using their encrypted ‘bit torrents’ networks. Has IceWeasel been taken offline? No, they encourage this kind of deviant behavior, seeing it as a badge of honor. It is the way of the linux criminal, copyleft-thug thieves who hate America. And that is precisely why our Christian readership need to stand-up against open source software and the linux copyleft, so that sharing of pornographic material like this can never happen again.

Always Right,
Charles Roast

Failed presidential candidate John Kerry has revealed his sinister plan to turn America gay: He wants to allow the homos to give blood. Please take a moment to read this sobering and informative article World Net Daily, probably the most important news website in the whole of America.

How can you tell these gay blood cells from normal ones? Simple, they have a slightly pinkish tinge which betrays their former owners low moral standards. Christian blood by comparison is of the deepest red, like that which Christ bled while suffering on the cross.

We all know that gay blood is filled with AIDS and other diseases that Jesus sent to to the world to punish the homos, but what few people understand is that the gay blood also contains sinfulness. That blood has been tainted by the sin of lustful thoughts and actions. If you are unfortunate enough to have that sinner’s blood transfused into you then you will be part sinner. You can try to pray the gay away, for some it works but for many it does not. That is why we cannot possibly allow homosexuals to mingle their dirty blood into our life-giving supplies.

The only known cure for gay-blood is the blood of Christ, which as you can see is a completely different colour. If you suspect that you may have been made gay by receiving homo-blood then you ha better pray that your sins be washed away in the blood of Christ.

Has John Kerry thought this through? His proposal does not even include the most rudimentary labelling. For example there would be no way of knowing whether the blood a doctor is about to put into a child’s innocent body is from a godly individual or a human cess-pool. I’d rather see my child bleed to death than risk have him become gay because of exposure to the corrupt blood of sinners.

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard

Joe Jonas – End the R-word; one of the phoney ‘band’ members from the so-called ‘band’ Jonas Brothers, Joe Jonas is a would-be Christian who tries to undermine the english language by trying to stop the use of the word ‘retarded’ in regular conversation. Well on behalf of all real Christians let me tell you Joe Jonas – you’re a retrard if you think your ‘R-word’ campaign will ever work!

The history of the United States shows that there are many great words that are useful and practical. Calling people gooks, chinks, negroes, wops and other descriptive terms have helped make America what it is today. If we stopped calling people ‘retarded’ what would happen next, that we can’t say it’s ‘warm’ outside? No more calling Linux ‘communist’ or union organizers ‘lazy’? As Christians understand better than anyone language needs to be unfettered to say in an open and honest way the truth: a person who is overweight is a ‘fat pig’, a sports team that cannot win a game is easily identified as a ‘bunch of losers’, and a woman you ask out on a date who rejects you is a ‘dirty whore’, all perfectly good words and acceptable to say. This is a dangerous direction that America is heading in when the populist masses start dictating culture and vocabulary. Just look at how cryptic and seditious text messages by the younger generation have become, only an al-Queada sympathizer could even read those.

Virginia GOP Lawmaker Bob Marshall:“The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children. In the Old Testament, the first born of every being, animal and man, was dedicated to the Lord. There’s a special punishment, Christians would suggest.”

Women’s rights and scripture-trained Christian abortion expert Virginia GOP Lawmaker Bob Marshall says it straight-up and no-nonsense what the Bible says about people with disabilities like mental retardation. Simply put it’s God’s Will it happened, and it’s Jesus’s way of saying if women keep having abortions and other terrible things, then their children will suffer the consequences of mental disabilities. Bob’s honest biblical research into the retardation problem has gotten a lot of liberals upset. But the facts are simple, if it’s in the bible then it’s the truth and that’s just the way it goes. Something real Christians like Bob Marshall understand better than anyone else. Folks, let’s just put an end to this ‘R-word’ nonsense right here and now: calling people retarded is acceptable and even funny, just like calling people morons and negroes is. Now go out there and let’s make this happen, and God Bless you all.

Always Right,
Charles Roast

Anyway, the “president” wants to let homos fight like girls in the military, which I guess makes sense if ya wanna lose the glorious War on Terror but like a retired military man told me, “ya can’t protect the front AND protect the rear.”

I also talk about the travesty of convicting Scott Roeder in 37mins and the good common sense of Phyllis Schlafly talking about how women can’t be oppressed cuz they live longer than men. Why don’t lie-beral THINK??

God is Love!
BBN

Do you know somebody who is suffering from homosexuality? Leading psychologists such as James Dobson agree that homosexuality is a sick diseased perversion which must be cured. However until now ex-gay therapies have been expensive and hard to obtain. Despite our prayers and best lobbying efforts most insurance companies will not pay for treatment to cure homosexuality. That may all soon change thanks to the re-discovery of a 200 year old remedy: Homeopathy.

Hahnmann discovered that the more you dilute a substance the more potent it becomes. This simple, common-sense fact has been suppressed by mainstream science who simply do not want you to know that God has given us the power to heal ourselves!

Homoeopathy was discovered in 1796 by the physician Samuel Hahnmann: He was the first to notice that water has a “memory” allowing it to be subtly changed by substances even when greatly diluted. Hahnmann was first to postulate the “Law of similars” which showed that like can treat like. He proved that if sufficiently diluted coffee can actually cure insomnia. Now why is it that big-pharma has kept this medical wonder secret?

According to standard allopathic medicine AIDS is caused by the HIV Virus (above), however leading scientists dispute this highly controversial hypothesis: According to leading homoeopath Dana Ullman, both AIDS and homosexuality are caused by a bodily energy imbalance which can be corrected by homoeopathic treatment. According to the liberal media there is an epidemic of AIDS, so why are they not embracing every possible treatment? It’s an undisputed fact that Homoeopathy can cure AIDS.

Mainstream or “Allopathic” medicine such as vaccines or anti-biotics use high concentrations of dangerous substances and often cause side-effects which can be worse than the diseases they purport to treat. Homoeopathic remedies almost never cause any kind of side-effect and are safe for people of all ages. Thanks to the homeopathic treatment’s high water content they can actually provide much needed moisture. This has been proved to help maintain your body’s fluid balance.

Nobody really understands what causes homosexuality. Standard medicine has yet to find a single agent responsible for turning people gay, however the majority of homoeopaths believe that it is caused by the syphilitic miasma or as a consequence of vaccine damage. Unfortunately since most mainstream doctors deny these causes even exist they have yet to invest in finding a cure. Clearly we need to look elsewhere for a solution to this grave problem:

According to Dana Ullman, America’s leading Homoeopath there is a 100% natural cure for homosexuality: Natrum Bromatum. This medical wonder can stop all homosexual urges after only one week of use. Dana has used Natrum Bromatum to cure more than ten homosexuals of their deadly perversion. Thanks to his innovative treatment these men are now living healthy and productive lives. Three of them are married with children. How many people has standard medicine cured? Not one I will bet.

America’s leading homoeopathic doctor Dana Ullman has personally cured his patients of diseases such as cancer which are untreatable by standard medicine. He faces harsh opposition from so-called sceptical groups such as the ignorant european Ten-Twentythree group. These people hate the fact that Dana is willing to think outside the box to cure people.

Homoeopathy is a safe and effective treatment, so why is it not available everywhere? As usual the cause of this problem is meddlesome liberals. As usual, those freedom-hating commies don’t want you to have the choice. They would much rather you spend all your money on the new obamascare program. Homeopathy represents a threat to their big-government tax and spend ways. They will stop at nothing, including lies and deception to prevent you from obtaining a homoeopathic treatment.

Shelley’s Special Offer: This month only we are giving an entire year’s supply of homoeopathic essence of Elm for only $59.99 + postage. This remedy was discovered by leading homoeopath Dr. Bach who observed that Elms are amongst natures most homosexual trees. Logically, heavily diluted essence of this plant can reduce homosexual urges. This remedy has been certified by leading homoeopathic doctors as being up to three times as effective as the leading ex-gay therapies. Furthermore, STR industries will fully refund your donation if you still retain any homosexual tendencies after a complete course of this highly effective remedy.

Jimmy Goddard

Terrorist Welcome Wagon: Who says Greek orthodox priests aren’t in league with the terrorists: ever eaten tzatziki sauce? It terrorized my bowel movements for about 3 weeks straight!

The liberal media brought out it’s usual chumps to give commentary: Mike Marilopoulopoulis from St. Nicholas parish said he was ‘horrified’ and long-time resident Nancy Millipasillidoulis said it was ‘unthinkable’ such a thing could have happened. With last names like that, just guess which side they’re on. Remember America: you’re either with us, or you’re with the terrorists. Which begs the question: was a tire-iron enough for Jasen Bruce to protect himself? As Christians we can all agree that the answer is: no way! While here at STR we would never advocate violence of any kind, it’s pretty clear Mr. Bruce should have been carrying some kind of semi-automatic firearm, maybe a full-auto machinegun.

“Bruce was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and released after posting $7,500 bail. His attorney, Jeffrey Brown, said his client was only trying to protect himself.” Bruce also accused the priest of “being a robber, terrorist and molester“. Look, if you’re a hairy dirty darky and you start groping and grabbing at a Marine, mumbling in some pycho-babble language, why would you be amazed at the Rambo-style ass-kicking you get? Don’t think because you’re a souvlaki-bandit that you’re going to get away with it here in America. The priest Maniacis, who also teaches ethics at college, reportedly had prayed for Mr. Bruce and asked for his forgiveness from God and was trying to downplay the incident saying “he doesn’t want the ministry to be scandalized.” You call that a ‘Christian’? He’s still a criminal suspect in my book. Just seeing how Jasen Bruce handled himself proves to me who the real man was. Let’s keep America strong: even if Mr. Bruce might have had a slip in his judgment, we can’t let suspicious behavior go unreported, any more than a car can be allowed to drive through a roadblock in Iraq without getting brought to a halt by gunfire. We’re fighting a war, the enemy could be anywhere. It’s the way it is, and it’s vigilance by every citizen that keeps this country the freest and most democratic in the world.

Always Right,
Charles Roast III

It makes me proud to see true patriots like our friends in the Question 1 campaign fighting against the sin of godless homosexuality. Like much of America the great state of Maine is plagued by homosexual demons trying to turn our children into gays. Iowa allowed homos to marry and just look at what happened: We see a state in permanent moral and spiritual decline. Jesus does not want that to happen in Maine:

See how simple that is: If we allow the gays to marry then all of our schools will promote gayness. If you want to end homosexuality simply prevent the gays from marrying. It couldn’t be any more logical and obvious than that. As Alan Keys said – we need a constitutional amendment to protect the institute of marriage from these evil homos, but until we get a godly congress to vote in Bible based law we are going to fight them in every single state.

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard

I just wanna address Mr. Barney “Uranus” Frank for a moment.  I know yer a lie-beral defeaot-crat buttsex-having homo socialist but that ain’t no reason to go and call people names.  I don’t know if you even understand that you got elected to Congress by people like the woman you tried shout down as stupid, crazy and calling her furniture.  Sir: We ain’t furniture and you can’t have sex with us.  We are flesh and blood human beings made in GOD’s image not in the image of a setee.  That maybe how fat Commie homos in Massachusetts talk to people, but in the rest of the United States Of America that kinda insult and ridicule just don’t cut it and if y’all can’t have a truthful, civil discussion about how you wanna kill grandma, then y’all better look for a new job.

Briefly Patriotic – Barney Frank: Life In Uranus

Internet pornography is the new crack cocaine, leading to addiction, misogyny, pedophilia, boob jobs and erectile dysfunction, according to clinicians and researchers testifying before a Senate committee Thursday.

“Pornography really does, unlike other addictions, biologically cause direct release of the most perfect addictive substance,” Satinover said. “That is, it causes masturbation, which causes release of the naturally occurring opioids. It does what heroin can’t do, in effect.” Wired

If you take the time to check back in the past of the most notorious killers in history, in the past of Henry Lee Lucas, Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy and Theodore Robert Bundy you will find that they all have one single thing in common: Their addition of all kinds of porn. The porn industry has blood in their hands. We can not allow them to continue.

Do something. Today!

Thanks for reading,
Shelley N. Goodman