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Say no to the gay blood

Friends,

Failed presidential candidate John Kerry has revealed his sinister plan to turn America gay: He wants to allow the homos to give blood. Please take a moment to read this sobering and informative article World Net Daily, probably the most important news website in the whole of America.

How can you tell these gay blood cells from normal ones? Simple, they have a slightly pinkish tinge which betrays their former owners low moral standards. Christian blood by comparison is of the deepest red, like that which Christ bled while suffering on the cross.

We all know that gay blood is filled with AIDS and other diseases that Jesus sent to to the world to punish the homos, but what few people understand is that the gay blood also contains sinfulness. That blood has been tainted by the sin of lustful thoughts and actions. If you are unfortunate enough to have that sinner’s blood transfused into you then you will be part sinner. You can try to pray the gay away, for some it works but for many it does not. That is why we cannot possibly allow homosexuals to mingle their dirty blood into our life-giving supplies.

The only known cure for gay-blood is the blood of Christ, which as you can see is a completely different colour. If you suspect that you may have been made gay by receiving homo-blood then you ha better pray that your sins be washed away in the blood of Christ.

Has John Kerry thought this through? His proposal does not even include the most rudimentary labelling. For example there would be no way of knowing whether the blood a doctor is about to put into a child’s innocent body is from a godly individual or a human cess-pool. I’d rather see my child bleed to death than risk have him become gay because of exposure to the corrupt blood of sinners.

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard

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Retarded – A Great Word That’s Fun To Say!

Folks, there’s been some sudden developments in the culture war, a change so shocking it has Christians and conservative groups reeling right across the entire United States. I’m talking about the ‘End the R-word‘ campaign by liberal goons trying to destroy America’s intellectual freedom to call people ‘retarded’. Liberals are waging a culture-war jihad and trying to demonize conservatives and Christians from noting the mental inferiority of morons and retards, when in reality this is a perfectly acceptable word to say in public, and fun as well. As most of you know the plague of retardation was thoroughly documented by STR’s owner and founder Shelley N. Goodman as being something that is God’s gift to us all for being sinners. The word ‘retarded’ is a great word that’s fun to say, and it helps to remind us to stop sinning and be better people.

Joe Jonas – End the R-word; one of the phoney ‘band’ members from the so-called ‘band’ Jonas Brothers, Joe Jonas is a would-be Christian who tries to undermine the english language by trying to stop the use of the word ‘retarded’ in regular conversation. Well on behalf of all real Christians let me tell you Joe Jonas – you’re a retrard if you think your ‘R-word’ campaign will ever work!

The history of the United States shows that there are many great words that are useful and practical. Calling people gooks, chinks, niggers, wops and other descriptive terms have helped make America what it is today. If we stopped calling people ‘retarded’ what would happen next, that we can’t say it’s ‘warm’ outside? No more calling Linux ‘communist’ or union organizers ‘lazy’? As Christians understand better than anyone language needs to be unfettered to say in an open and honest way the truth: a person who is overweight is a ‘fat pig’, a sports team that cannot win a game is easily identified as a ‘bunch of losers’, and a woman you ask out on a date who rejects you is a ‘dirty whore’, all perfectly good words and acceptable to say. This is a dangerous direction that America is heading in when the populist masses start dictating culture and vocabulary. Just look at how cryptic and seditious text messages have become, only an al-Queada could even read those!

Virginia GOP Lawmaker Bob Marshall:“The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children. In the Old Testament, the first born of every being, animal and man, was dedicated to the Lord. There’s a special punishment, Christians would suggest.”

Women’s rights and scripture-trained Christian abortion expert Virginia GOP Lawmaker Bob Marshall says it straight-up and no-nonsense what the Bible says about people with disabilities like mental retardation. Simply put it’s God’s Will it happened, and it’s Jesus’s way of saying if women keep having abortions and other terrible things, then their children will suffer the consequences of mental disabilities. Bob’s honest biblical research into the retardation problem has gotten a lot of liberals upset. But the facts are simple, if it’s in the bible then it’s the truth and that’s just the way it goes. Something real Christians like Bob Marshall understand better than anyone else. Folks, let’s just put an end to this ‘R-word’ nonsense right here and now: calling people retarded is acceptable and even funny, just like calling people morons and faggots and niggers is. Now go out there and let’s make this happen: and God Bless!

Always Right,
Charles Roast

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Ask And Tell

I’m real sorry for putting this up late. The lie-berals over at WMFO apparent thought this show was too truthful and went and messed up the place that you get the thing from. Too bad for them that a lot of former godless Linux users find the strength and hope of Jesus Christ and was able to get the show anyway! Guess y’all lost again, SATAN!

Anyway, the “president” wants to let homos fight like girls in the military, which I guess makes sense if ya wanna lose the glorious War on Terror but like a retired military man told me, “ya can’t protect the front AND protect the rear.”

I also talk about the travesty of convicting Scott Roeder in 37mins and the good common sense of Phyllis Schlafly talking about how women can’t be oppressed cuz they live longer than men. Why don’t lie-beral THINK??

God is Love!
BBN

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Finally a 100% effective cure for homosexuality!

Friends,

Do you know somebody who is suffering from homosexuality? Leading psychologists such as James Dobson agree that homosexuality is a sick diseased perversion which must be cured. However until now ex-gay therapies have been expensive and hard to obtain. Despite our prayers and best lobbying efforts most insurance companies will not pay for treatment to cure homosexuality. That may all soon change thanks to the re-discovery of a 200 year old remedy: Homeopathy.

Hahnmann discovered that the more you dilute a substance the more potent it becomes. This simple, common-sense fact has been suppressed by mainstream science who simply do not want you to know that God has given us the power to heal ourselves!

Homoeopathy was discovered in 1796 by the physician Samuel Hahnmann: He was the first to notice that water has a “memory” allowing it to be subtly changed by substances even when greatly diluted. Hahnmann was first to postulate the “Law of similars” which showed that like can treat like. He proved that if sufficiently diluted coffee can actually cure insomnia. Now why is it that big-pharma has kept this medical wonder secret?

According to standard allopathic medicine AIDS is caused by the HIV Virus (above), however leading scientists dispute this highly controversial hypothesis: According to leading homoeopath Dana Ullman, both AIDS and homosexuality are caused by a bodily energy imbalance which can be corrected by homoeopathic treatment. According to the liberal media there is an epidemic of AIDS, so why are they not embracing every possible treatment? It’s an undisputed fact that Homoeopathy can cure AIDS.

Mainstream or “Allopathic” medicine such as vaccines or anti-biotics use high concentrations of dangerous substances and often cause side-effects which can be worse than the diseases they purport to treat. Homoeopathic remedies almost never cause any kind of side-effect and are safe for people of all ages. Thanks to the homeopathic treatment’s high water content they can actually provide much needed moisture. This has been proved to help maintain your body’s fluid balance.

Nobody really understands what causes homosexuality. Standard medicine has yet to find a single agent responsible for turning people gay, however the majority of homoeopaths believe that it is caused by the syphilitic miasma or as a consequence of vaccine damage. Unfortunately since most mainstream doctors deny these causes even exist they have yet to invest in finding a cure. Clearly we need to look elsewhere for a solution to this grave problem:

According to Dana Ullman, America’s leading Homoeopath there is a 100% natural cure for homosexuality: Natrum Bromatum. This medical wonder can stop all homosexual urges after only one week of use. Dana has used Natrum Bromatum to cure more than ten homosexuals of their deadly perversion. Thanks to his innovative treatment these men are now living healthy and productive lives. Three of them are married with children. How many people has standard medicine cured? Not one I will bet.

America’s leading homoeopathic doctor Dana Ullman has personally cured his patients of diseases such as cancer which are untreatable by standard medicine. He faces harsh opposition from so-called sceptical groups such as the ignorant european Ten-Twentythree group. These people hate the fact that Dana is willing to think outside the box to cure people.

Homoeopathy is a safe and effective treatment, so why is it not available everywhere? As usual the cause of this problem is meddlesome liberals. As usual, those freedom-hating commies don’t want you to have the choice. They would much rather you spend all your money on the new obamascare program. Homeopathy represents a threat to their big-government tax and spend ways. They will stop at nothing, including lies and deception to prevent you from obtaining a homoeopathic treatment.

Shelley’s Special Offer: This month only we are giving an entire year’s supply of homoeopathic essence of Elm for only $59.99 + postage. This remedy was discovered by leading homoeopath Dr. Bach who observed that Elms are amongst natures most homosexual trees. Logically, heavily diluted essence of this plant can reduce homosexual urges. This remedy has been certified by leading homoeopathic doctors as being up to three times as effective as the leading ex-gay therapies. Furthermore, STR industries will fully refund your donation if you still retain any homosexual tendencies after a complete course of this highly effective remedy.

Jimmy Goddard

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Greek Priest Terrorist Thwarted in Florida

Hello America, if you’ve been reading the news you’ve doubtless heard about the terrorist attack that was thwarted recently in Miami by Hero Jasen D. Bruce. Mr. Bruce, a Marine reservist who works in a pharmacy, was violently confronted by a terrorist as he was washing his car, forcing Mr. Bruce to defend himself from the terrorist using only his bare hands and a tire-iron. While it turned out to be a false alarm and the terrorist was a visiting greek orthodox priest asking for directions, that still doesn’t mean the priest should be let off the hook. Predictably the liberal media have tried to paint it as an overreaction by Mr. Bruce when the reality is he was just doing his job as a patriot and defender of Freedom. To all you liberals get it through your heads: America is #1, always and forever, and with a concerned and educated citizenry like Jasen Bruce we will never let terrorists hurt us overseas or at home again!

Greek terrorist priest

Terrorist Welcome Wagon: Who says Greek orthodox priests aren’t in league with the terrorists: ever eaten tzatziki sauce? It terrorized my bowel movements for about 3 weeks straight!

The liberal media brought out it’s usual chumps to give commentary: Mike Marilopoulopoulis from St. Nicholas parish said he was ‘horrified’ and long-time resident Nancy Millipasillidoulis said it was ‘unthinkable’ such a thing could have happened. With last names like that, just guess which side they’re on. Remember America: you’re either with us, or you’re with the terrorists. Which begs the question: was a tire-iron enough for Jasen Bruce to protect himself? As Christians we can all agree that the answer is: no way! While here at STR we would never advocate violence of any kind, it’s pretty clear Mr. Bruce should have been carrying some kind of semi-automatic firearm, maybe a full-auto machinegun.

“Bruce was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and released after posting $7,500 bail. His attorney, Jeffrey Brown, said his client was only trying to protect himself.” Bruce also accused the priest of “being a robber, terrorist and molester“. Look, if you’re a hairy dirty darky and you start groping and grabbing at a Marine, mumbling in some pycho-babble language, why would you be amazed at the Rambo-style ass-kicking you get? Don’t think because you’re a souvlaki-bandit that you’re going to get away with it here in America. The priest Maniacis, who also teaches ethics at college, reportedly had prayed for Mr. Bruce and asked for his forgiveness from God and was trying to downplay the incident saying “he doesn’t want the ministry to be scandalized.” You call that a ‘Christian’? He’s still a criminal suspect in my book. Just seeing how Jasen Bruce handled himself proves to me who the real man was. Let’s keep America strong: even if Mr. Bruce might have had a slip in his judgment, we can’t let suspicious behavior go unreported, any more than a car can be allowed to drive through a roadblock in Iraq without getting brought to a halt by gunfire. We’re fighting a war, the enemy could be anywhere. It’s the way it is, and it’s vigilance by every citizen that keeps this country the freest and most democratic in the world.

Always Right,
Charles Roast III

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Prayer Alert: Vote YES for Question 1 in Maine to prevent your kids from being turned gay

Friends,

It makes me proud to see true patriots like our friends in the Question 1 campaign fighting against the sin of godless homosexuality. Like much of America the great state of Maine is plagued by homosexual demons trying to turn our children into gays. Iowa allowed homos to marry and just look at what happened: We see a state in permanent moral and spiritual decline. Jesus does not want that to happen in Maine:

See how simple that is: If we allow the gays to marry then all of our schools will promote gayness. If you want to end homosexuality simply prevent the gays from marrying. It couldn’t be any more logical and obvious than that. As Alan Keys said – we need a constitutional amendment to protect the institute of marriage from these evil homos, but until we get a godly congress to vote in Bible based law we are going to fight them in every single state.

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard

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Briefly Patriotic – Barney Frank: Life In Uranus

barney

I just wanna address Mr. Barney “Uranus” Frank for a moment.  I know yer a lie-beral defeaot-crat buttsex-having homo socialist but that ain’t no reason to go and call people names.  I don’t know if you even understand that you got elected to Congress by people like the woman you tried shout down as stupid, crazy and calling her furniture.  Sir: We ain’t furniture and you can’t have sex with us.  We are flesh and blood human beings made in GOD’s image not in the image of a setee.  That maybe how fat Commie homos in Massachusetts talk to people, but in the rest of the United States Of America that kinda insult and ridicule just don’t cut it and if y’all can’t have a truthful, civil discussion about how you wanna kill grandma, then y’all better look for a new job.

Briefly Patriotic – Barney Frank: Life In Uranus

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Pornography made me a Killer!

There is no doubt on anybody’s mind that pornography is terribly harmful to society. It’s degrading and demeaning and young men and women participating in the production of pornography are plagued with aids, hepatitis and will end up in Hell rather sooner than later. Not only producing but also consuming porn will make your life and the lives of others around you a living Hell. If we can learn anything from the past we should start listening to the few voices of reason.

Ted Bundy killed over 50 young women during his 15 year long killing spree. He suffocated them, beat them to death with baseball bats and why? Because porn made his mind sick!

Internet pornography is the new crack cocaine, leading to addiction, misogyny, pedophilia, boob jobs and erectile dysfunction, according to clinicians and researchers testifying before a Senate committee Thursday.

“Pornography really does, unlike other addictions, biologically cause direct release of the most perfect addictive substance,” Satinover said. “That is, it causes masturbation, which causes release of the naturally occurring opioids. It does what heroin can’t do, in effect.” Wired

ConfessionsofaPornAddict.com
The life of a porn addict. Porn dictates his life and sooner or later he will not only abuse himself but also women that cross his way. How many women is this filthy man going to kill? Source: ConfessionsofaPornAddict
feature_sexinthenews_online

If you take the time to check back in the past of the most notorious killers in history, in the past of Henry Lee Lucas, Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy and Theodore Robert Bundy you will find that they all have one single thing in common: Their addition of all kinds of porn. The porn industry has blood in their hands. We can not allow them to continue.

Do something. Today!

Thanks for reading,
Shelley N. Goodman

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Satan On Wheels: World Naked Bike Ride

wnbr

We tried to warn y’all that riding a bike instead of driving a car would lead to sin, sodomy, economic collapse and the death of America.  But you wouldn’t listen.  "Ha ha," you snickered in you’re high pitch homo laugh, "it’s just a bike.  What wrong with riding a bike?  You don’t use no gas.  You help the ‘environment’.  You get exercise.  Ain’t nothing wrong with riding a bike!"

One of these days one of two things is gonna happen -

1) Y’all will start listening to us when we tell you to listen to God

2) You’re gonna wake up with the flesh burning off your body in Hell and wished you’d listened to us when we told you to listen to God.

satan
Satan can’t wait to get you into Hell so he
can’t torture you for all eternity.  And it ain’t
gonna be easy torture like waterboarding.

What did riding a bike get us?  The World Naked Bike Ride , that’s what, and if that don’t make God angry enough to bring about the Rapture, then I don’t know what will.

What’s The World Naked Bike Ride?  It’s people riding bikes…NAKED.  Right out in plain view!  Taking their clothes off and showing their nakedness not only in front of God but in front of people they ain’t got no cause to show their nakedness to!  Imagine leaving church with your young son one afternoon only to be confronted with thousands of naked people on bikes!  What kinda damage is that gonna inflict on that poor child?  What kinda horrible nightmares will he about getting chased by oversized breasts and genitalia?  Is that gonna instill the proper sense of shame that God gave to Adam and Eve about their nakedness?  Or is it gonna spur him on to rip off his clothing and join a filthy hippie bike commune?

I’d say yes.

wnbr2
Bike riding can lead to lesbianism, homosexuality, body painting
and white slavery.

And it goes beyond disobeying the word of God.  It’s a blow to the American economy which runs on oil, coal and natural gas.  Guess who loves riding bikes?  Commies and yurpeens, that’s who.  How are their economies doing?  Not as good as ours.  Why?  Cuz we don’t ride bikes. Americans are putting money back into the economy every time they go to the pump unlike the selfish and self-serving so-called "citizens of the world" who don’t care about their economy cuz they don’t wanna work anyway.  They’d rather just ride around the countryside picking loganberries and singing The Internacionale.

Support America!  Drive a car!

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Rob and Arnie. Victims of liberal bullying and hate-speech.

Oh my.

The liberal attack dogs are snarling, growling and foaming at the mouth. They gather around the last few decent Americans prepared to speak their minds in this decadent depraved age of Big Government and Little Morality and they do everything in their power to rip them to shreds.

The most recent example of their bullying comes in the persecution of two God-fearing DJs from KRXQ 98.5 FM Sacramento’s Rob, Arnie, & Dawn in the Morning. The hosts of this fine programme took the opportunity on May 28th to speak a few home truths and the knives have been out ever since.


rad-splash


Rob, Arnie and Dawn. They’re pretty tough, but even they can’t take on the million forked tongues of the liberal lie media machine.

To explain the background and also to give you an example of the insane hatred levelled against these Christians I quote here from arch-liberal from Michael Rowe’s so-called blog on the Huffington Post:

Rob Williams and Arnie States took turns referring to gender dysphoric children as “idiots” and “freaks,” who were just out “for attention” and had “a mental disorder that just needs to somehow be gotten out of them,” either by verbal abuse on the part of the parents, or even shock therapy.

“Allowing transgenders to exist, pretty soon it becomes normal to fall in love with the animals,” they said.

For his part, States bragged that if his own son were to ever dare put on a pair of high heels, States would beat his son with one of his own shoes. He urged parents whose own little boys expressed a desire to wear a dress to verbally abuse and degrade them as a viable response. “Because you know what? Boys don’t wear high heel shoes. And in my house, they definitely don’t wear high heels.

“I’m going to go, ‘You know what? You’re a little idiot! You little dumbass!’” States sneered, adding later, “I look forward to when [the transgender children] go out into society and society beats them down. And they wind up in therapy.”

In Rowe’s twisted liberal imagination, these reasonable statements become offensive. Every parent’s right to discipline their child and bring them up as good Christians is turned into a crime. Speaking the truth about perversion and dangerous alternative lifestyles becomes offensive. Next, it will be illegal for men not to put on high-heels, become addicted to heroin and spend their whole life sucking off sailors in back alleys. That’s the liberal future these people have in store for you! They are enemies of freedom.

Rowe ends his rant with the following threat:

“I know which end of the shoe I would be on if I ever met another adult who took the official Rob, Arnie & Dawn in the Morning child-rearing advice to heart after hearing it on KRXQ 98.5 FM Sacramento.”

That’s right. He threatens – and to my mind at least – condones extreme violence. Violence for its own sake rather than a simple and effective disciplinary measure as represented by these good radio hosts. It makes my blood boil… It makes me almost as angry as those sick hate-filled liberals!

At which point, I do the sensible Christian thing and back off. I turn the other cheek and rationalize. Come on! Let’s please calm down and have some perspective here. All Williams and States (great name, isn’t it?!) did is exercised their God-given right to freedom of speech. It’s not as if they did anything really offensive. It’s not as if, for instance, they broke God’s law by dressing up in girl-clothes, putting on lipstick and raping your own little child in their depraved minds.

Please, let parents be parents and let our radio hosts do their jobs by speaking their minds. This liberal repression must stop.

In God’s Holy Name,

Sam Johnston

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Masturbation : Harmful to your health and against the will of God

This is not the first time we are informing you about the dangers of masturbation and it won’t be the last time either.

To make it short: God don’t like it! Why does God not like it? Because sex is meant for procreation. Period. If you masturbate you spill your valuable seamen and God don’t like wasteful behavior! If you are a woman and you masturbate you are a slut and you deserve the cancer masturbation causes.

http://ShelleyTheRepublican.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/mayismasturbationmonth.jpg
Homosexuals and Liberals gang up against good taste and American core values. Masturbation is one of the leading causes for moral decay. Just don’t do it!

Leading health publications warn against the dangers of masturbation and latest studies indicate that masturbation does in fact cause all sorts of medical problems.

The harmful effects of masturbation include discharge of semen when u think about girl, reduction in penis size, tapering of penis in the base, reduced erection size, reduced amount of orgasm and the worst of all premature ejaculation. All of these problems are a big problems by themselves but thinking that they all are caused because of too much masturbation, i will say that masturbation is harmful.

Now the harmful effects of masturbation are not just restricted to those physical problems that i have discussed. It also effects memory. It will also effect your social behavior because you would tend to be isolated and lonely. Eventually if you fall into all this problems there will be a new kind of world for you, which will not be a reality. Your world will be full of frustration. All you will think about is that you are not enough for a girl and you will never be married. I have been through all this and I do not want anyone to go in that direction. It is better to educate yourself about it. (Source)

The most important side-effects of masturbation include:

-For males:

  • Smaller Penis size
  • Lower sperm count
  • Hearing problems
  • Crooked penis
  • Mental problems
  • God hates you and you will never find a good woman

-For females:

  • Increased body hair
  • Painful period
  • Mental problems
  • God will send you to hell and everybody will know that you are a filthy slut
http://ShelleyTheRepublican.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/female-masurbatio-1.jpg
This person is sinning against God. There will be a very heavy price to pay.

Personally I can’t understand at all why people masturbate. If I would do it I could never face the woman in the mirror. Why do it? It ain’t American! It’s just plain wrong! Don’t do it folks.

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Combating the radical gay agenda : Part 5 : Motorbikes

American motorcycles are the way they should be: Cool looking, loud and very powerful. America loves Harley Davidson, Indian, Boss Hoss and Buell. Motorcycles have what others don’t: The American spirit, a spirit of freedom and wealth and the beautiful feeling of being superior to other less fortunate nations.

http://ShelleyTheRepublican.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/bosshossrad1.jpg
A better acceleration than an Italian sports-car, heavier than the average Japanese rice bowl and even cooler than a Hummer H2: The Boss Hoss Motorcycle. Even a little man looks incredible hot and American on one of those babies. Hell, even a smelly frenchman would look good on a Boss Hoss!
http://ShelleyTheRepublican.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/1367984414539227931_rs.jpg
Only Americans can come up with a design that good like that one. Look at the sleek lines, it’s just plain beautiful. That, Ladies and Gentleman is why we are still the world leader in motorcycle technology. Our success proves us right!

As with all good things, motorcycles also became a target of the hateful, stupid gay agenda. What happens when a homosexual starts to “design” (or pervert) motorbikes?
That’s right: He gives at less power than a hair dryer, makes it look like another gay man and paints it pink. It’s just sickening.

http://ShelleyTheRepublican.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/2480621334_011a82e8bb.jpg
After having had a night of anal sex and abusing other males bodies they put on their leather pants or dresses to ride home on their pink, Italian made “scooters”. I don’t know what to hate more: That they are violating the laws of the Bible at night or violating the laws of good taste during the day. Just plain filthy!

http://ShelleyTheRepublican.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/643675258_0f26086f78.jpg

If I had a say in that matter I would just plain ban all sorts of scooters. If you want to drive on two wheels you have to do it with style!

Damn you, homosexuals! Why do you have to keep undermining the American Way of Life?

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The Stink of Vermont

Friends,

The other day my daughter had some of her friends sleeping over. I noticed to my horror that one of the kids had brought a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Ice-cream. “Young girl”, I asked sternly, “where did you get this from?”

“From the Mall,” She replied – “I saved up my week’s allowance so we could all share it”.

Obviously these kids had not read the news about the abomination and travesty of the constitution which had been unleashed in the formerly great-state of Vermont. I undertood that these kids need to keep their innocence until the day they are married, but just then Jesus helped me realize how I could teach these young girls a powerful life-lesson that they would remember for the rest of their lives.

“Give me that tub of ice cream”, I said to the young girl, “So tell me about this stuff?”

“It’s got chocoloate and cones -”

“And nuts and vanila”, chimed in another girl.

“It’s real tasty”, said a third, “can we have it back?”

“Not just yet – now let me just set the ice-cream down here. Kids, do you know where this stuff is made?”, I asked.

“Vermont”

“Yes, that’s right – it comes from a place far away in the north-east called Vermont where only a few weeks ago they ruled that homosexuals should be given the right to marry just like your mommy and daddy. That means in the state of vermont they all think your mommy and daddy are queers… so lets just heap a bunch of these cigarette butts into your ice-cream to represent the faggots and homos who are fornicating in that corrupted state”

“Next, just think about all the sinfulness that’s going on right now in Vermont. I can just imagine Jesus looking down and seeing all that sin going on and shedding a tear. Molly, wont you fetch me that cat-litter tray? I’m going to add a heap of this dirty cat-litter to the ice-cream to represent all the sin and godlessness in Vermont”

“Finally, take a look at the fellow on the carton – I ain’t going to say his name just in case you kids get crazy ideas, but let me just say that he went on TV and mocked George W. Bush, the greatest president that ever lived. Suzie, what do you call a fellow who betrays his president at a time of war?”

“Uh… a rat?”

“Exactly!”

And with that I fetched up the remains of a rat which the cat had dragged into our house that morning, placing it on top of the cigarette-buts, dirty kitty-litter and the melting ice-cream.

“So girls, do you want your ice-cream back?”

“No way mister Goddard” they all cried in unison – they had truly learnt their lesson. But have you? What would you say if an aquaintance of yours offered you a scoop of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream? Would you eat it or reject it? According to the Bible the correct thing to do is to thow it in the garbage:

Next time somebody offers you a scoop of Ben & Jerry’s vermont Ice-Cream, imagine they just asked to sodomize you and your kids while videoing it for a “gay interest” channel watched by French homos . Then tell them what you think about it.

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard

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Shelley The Republican : For God, America and George W. Bush