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My Little Pony: Friendship is Satanic

Friends,

You may have heard of the new TV show “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” – this series is aimed at young girls. According to the liberal-biased encyclopedia Wikipedia, “The show has been critically praised for its humor and moral outlook” – but is that really the case? Recently Shelley Goodman and I watched a few episodes of this series and found a great deal that responsible pro-family parents should be concerned about.

STR Fact-Sheet: My Little Pony Friendship is Magic is an animal-fantasy animation series aimed at girls aged 5 to 12. Originally launched in the 1980s, it has become popular again due to strong artistic direction and and more “edgy” themes. We feel that viewer caution should be advised, especially in the case of young children who have not yet been re-born in Christ. The show includes troubling themes such as the occult, paganism and witchcraft.

The show tells the story of six “ponies” and their various adventures. Anybody who has spent time working with livestock will confirm that these are unrealistic depictions of horses and ponies. Were the lack of realism the only problem we would have no objections to allowing this show on TV, however we found a great many more issues:

  • The depiction of ponies in this series is un-biblical. According to the Bible (Gen 1:26) man has been given dominion over all beasts (including ponies), and thus the portrayal of these worker-animals as talking intelligent creatures with their own will and personality is clearly in contradiction to God’s teaching.  We would have preferred to see a more realistic portrayal of God’s creation, for example showing young men and women working the land with their ponies just as God intended. As everybody knows, Man (created in God’s image) is the only life on earth born with a soul, and capable of moral reasoning. To suggest that ponies might also have souls undermines the entire basis of the Christian Bible.

Disturbing- is this show suitable for yong girls?

  • The show is created by a young woman named Lauren Faust – if that names seems familiar to you it should be: According to legend, Faust was the name of the person who sold his soul to the devil in return for great wealth and power. It’s highly probable that Satan has chosen Ms Faust to be his modern-day emissary of evil. The signs are clear.
  • From what we can tell, the ponies do not seem to have any belief in God. There was not one single reference to Christianity, Jesus or the Holy Bible in any of the episodes we watched. There were countless references to paganism, the occult and black-magic. We are concerned that watching this show might encourage young girls to experiment with the dark arts. We advise any parents who suspect their child has seen this show to consult their pastor.
Typical female My Little Pony fans: Is this an acceptable way for a young woman to dress?
  • While ponies are certainly real animals, and unicorns definitly did exist (Job 39:9-12), “Pegasus Ponies” appear to be a creature found only in ancient greek pagan religions. We do not understand why Hasbro felt the need to include this obviously false pagan hogwash other than to cause further confusion in the minds of young girls.
  • The show presents a biblically incorrect cosmology. Starting with the very first episode it claims that the sun and the moon’s motion is caused by a pair of winged unicorns. This is wrong as the Bible states that the motion of the planets is due to God’s will alone.
  • The show is socialist: Various ponies appear to practice trades (for example Pinkie-Pie is a baker, Rarity is a seamstress and Twilight Sparkle is an occultist), and yet they do not appear to charge for their services (even the satanic Ms Sparkle), this is a model of a communist society envisaged by Marx. There’s no money or entrepreneurship. Is this an acceptable role model for young girls?
  • In a number of episodes the Pegasus Pony Rainbow-Dash is seen controlling the weather. Young people should know that only God has the power to influence our environment (Psalms 148:8, Jonah 1:4). This is yet another blatant lie intended to corrupt American girls.

Who controls the weather? Most leading scholars agree that only God can control storms – however this show wants us to believe that a blue pony has God’s power!

If these were the only faults in the series, I might conclude that Hasbro were ignorant dupes however there is a great deal more to be concerned with. In Episode 23 “The Cutie Mark Chronicles” three young ponies calling themselves “The Cutie Mark Crusaders” go on a quest to find a magical picture for their hind-quarters. The fact that they have called themselves “Crusaders” is ironic given that their quest seems to have nothing to do with Christ! Any child viewing this episode might conclude that our savior died so that you can have a tatoo on your your butt!

The Cutie-Mark Crusaders? If they are not crusading for Christ, then who? This is a question that all responsible parents should ask.

We found this show very disappointing – as with any product from the liberal media you should never believe the hype. Time and time again the show’s producers passed up the opportunity to deliver a moral message grounded in Biblical values in favor of cheap entertainment. We do not doubt the show’s popularity amongst secular audiences however they have a great deal more work to do if they want to create something as successful as  the excellent Veggie-Tales.

If only this were not the most disturbing aspect of the show: It may seem astonishing and implausible but there is a growing group of older male fans of this show. They call themselves “Bronies” – many of the web-resources dedicated to the show are built by these bronies in order to attract more children to the show. While there are no doubt some male fans who enjoy the show for their own personal reasons, we should all be suspicious of a grown men who watch cartoons!

What can you do to stop My Little Pony:

  • Ask your children whether they have seen this cartoon – if they have read from the instructive Bible passages referenced above to correct any misconceptions they may have learned from the show.
  • Explain to your daughter that ponies do not have souls – they are merely beasts of burden. Explain that it is sinful and unbiblical to think otherwise. Help your children understand what real ponies are like: Take them to a farm or your local petting zoo. Explain to your child that real ponies were created by God, not Lauren Faust!
  • Warn your children away from older men who like My Little Pony – they are almost certainly pederasts or perverts. Explain to your kids that if they ever meet a “brony” they are to tell a responsible adult such as your pastor or a fellow church-going parent.
  • Whenever you see an episode of this cartoon on the Internet, “Flag” it as harmful. Do whatever you can to get this content off the internet.
  • And most importantly: Prayer – together with Jesus we can get this sick filth of the TV

Yours in Christ,

James Goddard Jr

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Why does our Commander in Chief support beastiality?

Friends,

This brave reporter is simply asking a question – but look how Barrack Hussein Obama’s press officer avoids the issue.

Will somebody tell me why this official of the US Government is ignoring a pertinent question from a brave citizen reporter? The American people have a right to know if BHO supports sodomy and bestiality in the military.

Does the president want an armed force in which all of the soldiers are sodomising each other or assaulting livestock? And why does the president want our troops engaged in carnal abominations – is it to make us vulnerable to a fifth column of Islamists and secularists who are already plotting our nation’s destruction?

I can honestly say I do not know the answer to these questions – but what I do know is that there is no smoke without fire. What conspiracy is the Obama government hiding here? You tell me why the President’s spokesperson refused to deny Obama’s pro-bestiality position?

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard

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Mitt Romney is too liberal to lead the GOP

Romney is and always has been a RINO – we need to elect a TRUE CHRISTIAN candidate. Only a candidate with the full backing of Jesus Christ can defeat the Obama anti-Christ.

JG

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A self-confessed libtard writes to Shelley

Friends,

Normally we Christians concern ourselves with matters of importance: Prayer, country and honing our shooting skills. We try to shrug-off the foolish distractions that the secular world throws at usm since they only serve to pull us from the straight and narrow path which the LORD has ordained. So normally, I’d ignore an email such as the one we received the other day… but as I was about to trash it I heard a still small voice urging me not to.

That voice was the voice of Jesus, ringing as clear as a bell in my ears. “Jimmy” he sad, “what have I taught thee about spreading my word – respond to the unrighteous one and teach him the foolishness of his ways”.

I thanked Jesus for this important revelation, and set to work dismantling the steaming pile of folly which I now present to you, dear reader:

Shelley,
I have addressed this email straight to you, because I am intrigued as to your views, your ideology and your way of thinking.

First of all Jimmyboy, Shelly is far too important to be reading damn fool emails like the one you sent in. If you want her to take a moment from her important fund-raising activities you’d better send at least $200. Jesus wants me to deal with your problems.

First, a little about me (I type this in the faith that you do not draw prejudice from it and allow such prejudices to tint your perception of me). I am;
-British
-Fascinated by the culture, language and language of Japan
-Blond
-Interested in, though not a user of, Linux
-a Liberal Democrat (the Liberal Democrats are a British political party)
-Fourteen years old

It’s sad that you are already corrupted at so young an age. If your parents had any godly vision they would immediately send you to one of STR’s annual Bible-camps. Feel free to search our archives for more information about this great way that you can get to know Jesus, your personal LORD and saviour. Only $500 for a full week of advanced Bible study in next year’s camp.

To business;
-I would like to know on what basis you believe America to be “God’s Nation” any more than, say, Israel or Italy.

America IS God’s nation – it says so in the Bible. Israel is also God’s nation – the Jews are keeping it warm for us until the Rapture when Jesus will kick them out and let us Christians take over. Italy? That’s one of those homo-Euro-trash countries? America kicked their asses in the 2nd world war, so they don’t count for shit.

-Do you honestly think that all Germans, all eighty-one million of them, are completely and indisputably evil, even after their discovery of the theory of General Relativity, invention of beer, airbags, cars, toothbrushes, helicopters and jet engines?

It’s not what I think that matters… it’s what JESUS thinks. We simply report what he tells us.

-In your opinion, is Linux against God purely because it is not American? (I think, perhaps, your response may include some reference to communism; why do you associate Scandinavia with communism so?)

Anything un-American is against God’s wishes. That should be enough!

-Why do homosexual acts, committed in private, affect you? And why are the homosexual relationships/marriages of others any of your business?

There’s no such thing as being a private homo. God sees everything and if enough people go gay he will judge us like he judged New Orleans and like how he’s judging Pakistan for being Muslim right now. That’s plain simple biblical logic folks.

-How are African-Americans inferior to white Americans?

Read your bible Jimmy. The Cananite race are cursed by God to be slaves and servants. It’s all in the Good Book… read it and you might understand that God never intended for white folk and black folk to mix. Not my rules… GOD’s rules!

-Why oh why are you against universal healthcare? I, personally, was exceedingly glad to see America following in the footsteps of Europe and the United Kingdom and finally implementing a system which promises to improve life for millions of Americans.

Obamacare is a death-sentence for our preborns and our seniors. Do you want Barack Obama coming to your grandma and shooting her in the head with a cattle-gun? That’s what’s going to happen if Obama and his blackshirts get their way!

Twenty-one percent of American children live in poverty. Sixteen percent of British children do. Respond.

But we have a higher percentage of saved Bible-believing Christians than anywhere else in the world. What does material poverty matter when you have spiritual riches?

To publish your response to this email would clear up issues for me and the rest of the STR readership, and as such be mutually beneficial. Thank you.

Yours sincerely,

James Derbyshire
Staffs, England, UK

Done, and has it been left up to me I’d have just ignored your silly message but I think Jesus has a plan for you. I think today you are going to pick up that old Bible that’s been gathering dust in your home and start reading it. Perhaps you will see sense and turn away from your libtarded ways.

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard

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Prayer Alert: Activist Judge Walker abolishes marriage

Friends,

What is the institution upon which our once-great nation was founded? The Bill of Rights, The Constitution, The Mayflower Accord? No – look in your very own book-case for the real answer: The Holy Bible and Christian Marriage. Our Christian nation was founded on God’s law to be a shining example of morality and Christianity for the world to see.

Unfortunately our nation has been perverted by liberals, negros, jews, the illuminati, illegal immigrants – but most all the homos. These groups wish to destroy America from the inside by spreading the lie that we are a secular nation. No state is more corrupt than California – an ugly “blue state” where a federal judge just thrust a jagged dagger into the beating heart of marriage.

Judge walker ruled that homos should have exactly the same rights to marry as heterosexual couples. If everything is legally the same then that our normal marriages are now legally homosexual! That’s right – Judge Walker is trying to make us ALL GAY!

It’s time to act: We the readers of STR do not wish to be turned into gays. That is why Shelley The Republican and America’s leading pro-family group the Alliance Defence Fund will appeal this dangerous ruling. The Senior Council of ADF gave this sobering statement:

“We will certainly appeal this disappointing decision. Its impact could be devastating to marriage and the democratic process,” Raum said. “It’s not radical for more than 7 million Californians to protect marriage as they’ve always known it. What would be radical would be to allow a handful of activists to gut the core of the American democratic system and, in addition, force the entire country to accept a system that intentionally denies children the mom and the dad they deserve.”

Why cant the liberals accept Brian’s simple logic? Cant they see how allowing the gays to marry infringes on the civil rights of the seven million people in California want to live in peace without giggling homos performing acts of sexual lewdness on every street corner.

Please Pray for:

  • A return to righteousness across America.
  • People whose lives will be impacted by the result of this ruling.
  • For the appeal process now by mounted by the Alliance Defense Fund.
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A Letter From A Reader – Hateful Homosexual Agenda & The Liberal Mindset

Dear Readers

We at ShelleyPAC work hard to bring to you the latest conservative commentary from a Biblical perspective. We put a lot of time and effort into our work. Sometimes we investigate day and night to get to the truth. To expose hateful liberal doings to the sunlight.

We received a letter from a reader tonight, full of venom, hate and intolerance. Even though it does not make any sense whatsoever, I’m still publishing it to show to world what we are up against.

Just consider this: If we conservative Christians get out of the way, folks like this will be in charge and then what? I can’t even imagine what would be the result.

Thanks for reading.

Yours,
Shelley N. Goodman

OKAY, SO I THINK YOU SHOULD BE MURDERED BY A DOG, AND THEN EATEN BY CANNIBALS, CAUSE BITCH, YOUR CRAZY.
PSYCHOTIC.
AND I AM A GAY, BLACK, GERMAN, DRUG ADDICTED, DEMOCRAT, FEMINIST, HARRY POTTER LOVINN’, PETA, GOTHIC, ABORTIONISTS.
I AM EVERYTHING YOU HATE.
YOU DON’T EVEN LOOK AT THINGS FROM OTHER PEOPLES VIEWS.
HAVE YOU EVER STOPPED TO THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLES VIEWS?
WHAT IF SOMEONE WAS RAPED BY THEIR DAD OR SOME HORRIBLE PERSON AND GOT PREGNANT?
WOULD YOU STILL HAVE THEIR BABY?
I WOULDN’T.
PETA?
THEY KEEP PEOPLE FROM KILLING ANIMALS FOR THE WRONG REASONS.
WHICH IS WHAT GOD SAYS TO DO.
EVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT????????
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A FEMINIST.
IT’S NOT LIKE THEY WANT ALL GUYS TO DIE.
THEY WANT WOMAN TO HAVE THE SAME RIGHTS.
IF IT WASN’T FOR THEM, YOU WOULDN’T HAVE THAT STUPID BLOG OF YOURS.
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT MAYBE YOUR HURTING PEOPLES FEELINGS WHEN YOU WRITE THAT SHIT?
YOUR SO STUPID.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABORTED.
IN FACT, I HOPE YOUR MURDERED BY BLACK MASTURBATING HARRY POTTER READING OBAMA LOVERS.
CRAZY BITCH.
I HOPE YOUR WEBSITE SHUTS DOWN.
PSYCHOTIC.
THAT SHIT YOU ‘PREACH’ ABOUT ISN’T HELPING ANYONE, YOUR WEBSITE IS STUPID.
STUPID.
STUPID.
STUPID.

GO AND DIEEEE.
DUMB BITCH.
UGLY CUNT ASS BITCH MOTHER FUCKER.

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The Gays are trampling on our rights

Friends,

Our rights are being trampled on by hordes of aggressive homos. They are trampling on our rights to not have their gay marriage shoved down our throats. They are trampling on our rights not to hear about their gayness. They are trampling on our children’s rights not to grow up in a land where gay people do gay things to each other. But most of all, they are trampling on our rights to live in a country where marriage means exactly what we want it to mean.

If that wasn’t enough, we cannot even have a simple protest without thousands of aggressive gays showing up to try to debase our biblical message. Why is it that for every one of us, the devil sends ten evil homos to protest our humble godly word? Why do the gays hate Jesus so much?

But what can we do? Our message is one of simple, biblical love and nothing more. All that we wish for is to have freedom: The freedom for every single American do do exactly what the bible tells us all to do, just like Jesus wants.

Friends, these are testing times. It’s clear that the end times are near. The only way we will escape and go to heaven as the Bible prophesies is if we keep Giod’s law. We need to end this homosexual menace now, and that means by staying true to the Levitical teachings which God himself gave to America to be our law.

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard

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Do not believe the slanderous gay lies about Dr. George being gay. He is not gay.

Friends,

You all know Dr George Rekers. No man has done more than him to help cure people of the affliction of Homosexuality (except possibly Dr. James Dobson). George is the founder of the Family Research Council and a board member of the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) – one of the world’s most trusted names in ex-gay restoration therapy.

You and I both know that he’s a great guy who, like us, is campaigning for the re-introduction of Levitical laws concerning homosexuality, specifically that all Homos should be put to death just like Jesus told us to do. Amen to that!

But some folks are haters – these are folks who do not let a good man like George get on peacefully with his work. These are folks who do not respect George’s religious freedoms to speak out against the hellish death-style of homosexual sodomy. These people will do anything to discredit good men like George, including smearing with their own despicable vice.

Doctor George and his travel assistant Lucien. Does this look like a homosexual encounter? Of course not – Doctor George is simply using this as an opportunity to introduce the young man to Jesus. There is nothing even remotely gay about a well known preacher taking a young member of his flock on an extended witnessing trip to Europe, heck I do it all the time and nobody is accusing me of being gay!

Unfortunately for the homos, nobody who knows George Rekers will believe for a moment that he is homo. You do not need to hear it from me, George’s own Godly words clearly tell the truth:

A recent article in an alternative newspaper cleverly gave false impressions of inappropriate behavior because of its misleading innuendo, incorrectly implying that Professor George Rekers used the Rentboy.com website to hire a male prostitute to accompany him on a recent trip.

Contrary to Internet stories based on this slanderous article, following medical advice Professor George Rekers requires an assistant to lift his luggage in his travels because of an ongoing condition following surgery. His family, local friends, and even another university professor colleague have offered to accompany him on trips to assist him in his travel. Dr. Rekers found his recent travel assistant by interviewing different people who might be able to help, and did not even find out about his travel assistant’s Internet advertisements offering prostitution activity until after the trip was in progress.

There was nothing inappropriate with this relationship. Professor Rekers was not involved in any illegal or sexual behavior with his travel assistant.

See, that explains it perfectly. There wasn’t any gay-sex going on just preaching and praising the Lord. George didnt pick a muscle-bound young man out of sexual arousal, but for the simple fact he needed somebody strong enough to carry the considerable weight of his travelling luggage.

Indeed, when he first became aware of his travelling assistant’s deviant sexual proclivities he used this as an opportunity to encourage this young man to give up his homosexual ways and embrace Jesus! Is that the kind of thing a homo would do, heck no.

The plain fact is that Dr. George Rekers is completely heterosexual!

Yours in Christ

Jimmy Goddard

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Sen. Roy Ashburn – we can cure your homosexuality

Senator Ashburn,

You are the latest in a long line of victims of the homosexual agenda. Please do not betray our founding fathers and the Republican party by choosing the homosexual lifestyle choice. We know that you are only as gay as you want to be: It says so in the BIBLE!

We can cure you – we can take away your Gay and turn you back into a Christian. The power of JESUS will cleans the gay sins from your heart. You do not have to go to hell! All you need is the power of prayer and the god-given strength to confront your sinful nature. You too can be completely heterosexual again like Pastor Ted Haggard!

Most importantly, Jesus needs your votes in the senate: Jesus will reward your for continuing to vote against gay marriage. It’s the only way you can save your sick soul form eternal damnation.

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard

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Ask And Tell

I’m real sorry for putting this up late. The lie-berals over at WMFO apparent thought this show was too truthful and went and messed up the place that you get the thing from. Too bad for them that a lot of former godless Linux users find the strength and hope of Jesus Christ and was able to get the show anyway! Guess y’all lost again, SATAN!

Anyway, the “president” wants to let homos fight like girls in the military, which I guess makes sense if ya wanna lose the glorious War on Terror but like a retired military man told me, “ya can’t protect the front AND protect the rear.”

I also talk about the travesty of convicting Scott Roeder in 37mins and the good common sense of Phyllis Schlafly talking about how women can’t be oppressed cuz they live longer than men. Why don’t lie-beral THINK??

God is Love!
BBN

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Combating the radical gay agenda : Part 5 : Motorbikes

American motorcycles are the way they should be: Cool looking, loud and very powerful. America loves Harley Davidson, Indian, Boss Hoss and Buell. Motorcycles have what others don’t: The American spirit, a spirit of freedom and wealth and the beautiful feeling of being superior to other less fortunate nations.

http://ShelleyTheRepublican.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/bosshossrad1.jpg
A better acceleration than an Italian sports-car, heavier than the average Japanese rice bowl and even cooler than a Hummer H2: The Boss Hoss Motorcycle. Even a little man looks incredible hot and American on one of those babies. Hell, even a smelly frenchman would look good on a Boss Hoss!
http://ShelleyTheRepublican.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/1367984414539227931_rs.jpg
Only Americans can come up with a design that good like that one. Look at the sleek lines, it’s just plain beautiful. That, Ladies and Gentleman is why we are still the world leader in motorcycle technology. Our success proves us right!

As with all good things, motorcycles also became a target of the hateful, stupid gay agenda. What happens when a homosexual starts to “design” (or pervert) motorbikes?
That’s right: He gives at less power than a hair dryer, makes it look like another gay man and paints it pink. It’s just sickening.

http://ShelleyTheRepublican.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/2480621334_011a82e8bb.jpg
After having had a night of anal sex and abusing other males bodies they put on their leather pants or dresses to ride home on their pink, Italian made “scooters”. I don’t know what to hate more: That they are violating the laws of the Bible at night or violating the laws of good taste during the day. Just plain filthy!

http://ShelleyTheRepublican.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/643675258_0f26086f78.jpg

If I had a say in that matter I would just plain ban all sorts of scooters. If you want to drive on two wheels you have to do it with style!

Damn you, homosexuals! Why do you have to keep undermining the American Way of Life?

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Politically Correct – When Are We Not Allowed To Call You A Homo, Homo?

Many of you are aware that STR stands for America and Christian faith. But we also represent freedom of speech. Lately though there’s been a real chill of self-righteous indignation from liberal whiners complaining about Christian faithful using terms like lezbo, queer, fag, homo, and others. Well too bad!



Complaining About Being Called Homo: This is what America has come too, a sissy-pants ninny-nanny state where mincing dress-wearing Nellys prance around flaunting their homosexuality. Before one complains about being called a homo, remember that being gay is a lifestyle choice people make on their own!

If we had caught him displaying homosexual behavior at an early enough age, proper identification could have had him sent on Christian Heterosexual Reeducation, Indoctrination and Standardized Training (CHRIST) camp. Being gay is a lifestyle choice, you choose to be homosexual, that’s just the way it is. With proper supervision and religious training, every trace of this behavior whether a lisp or anything else vaguely gay can be treated and cured. CHRIST Camp boasts a 100% success rate, that’s why we’re asking the STR readership to pitch in with anything they can to this great cause. Let’s get this kid cured of being queer, you owe it to him, and you owe it to Jesus. Please send donations c/o “Shelley the Republican” to 100 Amber Lane, PO Box 473, Nampa, Idaho, Zip 83652, USA and we guarantee these donations will reach us at the armed secret STR compound in Elk River.

Always Right,
Charles “Chuck” Roast

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The Stink of Vermont

Friends,

The other day my daughter had some of her friends sleeping over. I noticed to my horror that one of the kids had brought a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Ice-cream. “Young girl”, I asked sternly, “where did you get this from?”

“From the Mall,” She replied – “I saved up my week’s allowance so we could all share it”.

Obviously these kids had not read the news about the abomination and travesty of the constitution which had been unleashed in the formerly great-state of Vermont. I undertood that these kids need to keep their innocence until the day they are married, but just then Jesus helped me realize how I could teach these young girls a powerful life-lesson that they would remember for the rest of their lives.

“Give me that tub of ice cream”, I said to the young girl, “So tell me about this stuff?”

“It’s got chocoloate and cones -”

“And nuts and vanila”, chimed in another girl.

“It’s real tasty”, said a third, “can we have it back?”

“Not just yet – now let me just set the ice-cream down here. Kids, do you know where this stuff is made?”, I asked.

“Vermont”

“Yes, that’s right – it comes from a place far away in the north-east called Vermont where only a few weeks ago they ruled that homosexuals should be given the right to marry just like your mommy and daddy. That means in the state of vermont they all think your mommy and daddy are queers… so lets just heap a bunch of these cigarette butts into your ice-cream to represent the faggots and homos who are fornicating in that corrupted state”

“Next, just think about all the sinfulness that’s going on right now in Vermont. I can just imagine Jesus looking down and seeing all that sin going on and shedding a tear. Molly, wont you fetch me that cat-litter tray? I’m going to add a heap of this dirty cat-litter to the ice-cream to represent all the sin and godlessness in Vermont”

“Finally, take a look at the fellow on the carton – I ain’t going to say his name just in case you kids get crazy ideas, but let me just say that he went on TV and mocked George W. Bush, the greatest president that ever lived. Suzie, what do you call a fellow who betrays his president at a time of war?”

“Uh… a rat?”

“Exactly!”

And with that I fetched up the remains of a rat which the cat had dragged into our house that morning, placing it on top of the cigarette-buts, dirty kitty-litter and the melting ice-cream.

“So girls, do you want your ice-cream back?”

“No way mister Goddard” they all cried in unison – they had truly learnt their lesson. But have you? What would you say if an aquaintance of yours offered you a scoop of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream? Would you eat it or reject it? According to the Bible the correct thing to do is to thow it in the garbage:

Next time somebody offers you a scoop of Ben & Jerry’s vermont Ice-Cream, imagine they just asked to sodomize you and your kids while videoing it for a “gay interest” channel watched by French homos . Then tell them what you think about it.

Yours in Christ,

Jimmy Goddard

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Shelley The Republican : For God, America and George W. Bush


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