STR Health Promotion
Dear Friend,
Do you feel tired or lethargic? Have you recently been diagnosed with a serious illness? Is your memory as worse than it used to be? If you answered yes to one or more of these questions then you might be suffering from a carbonite defficiency. It’s a clinically proven fact that most Americans are not getting enough carbonite in their diet. Could you be missing out on one of life’s most vital nutriments?
Dr Gillian McKeith is a leading nutritionist and a fellow of the American Association of Nutritional Consultants.
The latest research proves that Carbonite is an essential nutriment vital for your all of your bodily functions. Every single thing your body does owes it’s activity to the natural magic of Carbonite. Every beat of your heart, every breath you take and every single thought. In summary, every single one of your medical problems could be due to a carbonite deficiency in your diet.
When was the last time you checked your intake of this vital substance?
Fortunately nature provides a miracle superfood which is 100% natural, free of side-effects as a good a source of ionated carbonites as you are ever likely to find… and you are probably walking on it right now: It’s called Chalk!
STR Fact File: What is Chalk? Chalk is a white porous sedimentary rock most likely formed on the 1st day of creation. Chalk has 101 uses including making marks on black-boards, roads and fabrics. It can be powdered to make chalk-powder and of course it has miraculous healing properties!
Chalk (chemical symbol: Calcium Carbonite) is nature’s most potent source of Carbonite ions: Research has shown that there is no more effective form of carbonite. But why is it that you’ve probably never heard if Chalk’s live-savomg powers? Would you be surprised to learn that the FDA has refused to certify chalk as a cure for cancer, aids, amnesia and autism.
Unfortunately America is ruled by a Democrat-led conspiracy which in partnership with pharmaceutical companies wants to corrupt our essence with deadly vaccines. If everybody had access to my chalk-remedy who would be left to buy the drug-company’s over-priced vaccines and pills? It’s time to strike out against this sinister conspiracy:
But how does it work? The exact science is still misunderstood by doctors – however my research has shown that within 58 seconds of swallowing the tablet they begin reacting with the natural acids in your stomach causing the chalk to release life-giving dioxide gas. It’s get’s it’s name from the fact that it has not one (like in normal oxygen) but two molecules of oxygen. The great thing is that all this oxygen is unleashed exactly where you need it most: In your digestive system! As you can see, this super-oxygenated gas helps your brain become more active, makes your heart pump stronger and can help you achieve all of your life’s goals.
Just think about it – all your dietary carbonite requirements fulfilled for an entire year. You will never have to worry about your carbonite intake until Summer 2010! How much would you pay for a whole year of perfect Chalk-powered health confidence? And if that’s not enough, we will give a copy of “Trail Blazer – an intimate portrait of Sarah Palin” or Gillian McKeith’s latest recipe book to the first 100 people who buy.
CALL TODAY ON OUR PRIORITY ORDER LINE
(617) 297-2463
Please leave your name, credit card number, postal address and how many 1 year supplies of McKeith’s famous Chalk Remedy you require at only $86.99 each.
18 comments
18 Comments so far
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Thank you Gillian – I have been using your chalk-pills for over three months now and I can attest that I have never felt so good. In fact I give them to my entire family. Nobody can believe how healthy we all are!
This is just silly. And lazy. Where is the bashing and full out slander of anything decent?
Grandpa always used to tell us ‘A stick of chalk a week will keep your mind at peak’ and it looks like he was right. I used to grit my teeth as a little kid when he’d crunch down on a stick, and he’d tell us how in the war supplies of refined chalk were so limited he’d have to hunt around in the garden for sedimentary stones and grind them up in the toolshed. Looks like I’m gonna have to give this a go, grandpappy!
Just drink milk, – same effect, and cheeper…
oh wait… what about those books.
Jimmy Goddard said the following:
“When I was a kid, I only had 2 kinds of book on my shelf: The Bble and the complete works of C. S. Lewis. Pretty much anything else is a sure recipe to turn your kid into a homo.”
Seems like the books you’re listing make you a homo, especially that fancy cooking book.
STR is going homo.
what next?
Oh, haven’t you posted a picture of an evil Clinton which was made by “VLAD”? Seems a russian name to me. So are you already working with the commies?
You have betrayed your own believs! You sinned! Pray to God or you will go to hell!!!
STR is going homo and communist!!!
if u are eating chalk, which makes u fucking stupid, u could still feel good by something called the placebo effect, look it up. If you eat too much chalk you can get hypercalcemia, a side effect of hypercalcemia is altered mental status. So no wonder people at this website seem so fucking insane, eating to much chalk.
Glen, there is absolutely no “placebo” in this premium brand chalk-remedy. It contains only 100% ionated chalk.
Carbonite: was one of the earliest and most successful coal-mining explosives . It is made from such ingredients as nitroglycerin, wood meal, and some nitrate as that of sodium; also nitrobenzene, saltpeter, sulfur, and diatomaceous earth.
Carbonate:A salt or an ester of an carbonic acid
Chalk is a form of limestone. Chalk poisoning occurs when someone accidentally or intentionally swallows chalk.
You fucking idiots!
Or I could just get the exact same thing for 1/4 the price at a local pharmacy…
Why would I pay eighty six dollars for chalk when I can get it for alot less at a supermarket? Not only that, but why would anyone give YOU their credit card number? I swear, it’s identity theft waiting to happen. Not only that, but you can get poisoned from eating chalk. Get a brain!
Oh dear… someone doesn’t know what ‘placebo’ means…
F.Y.I, as forementioned, chalk is calcium carbonate (CaCO3) and has little benefits on its own. I smell a lie.
“Oh dear… someone doesn’t know what ‘placebo’ means…” um…ya, and i think its you.
FYI..the placebo effect was mentioned and jimmy said there was no placebo in this chalk. what jimmy is saying is that the chalk actually works, and there is no other material used in the place of it in order for a placebo effect to take place but the material is authentic.
._.
WHAT
THE
HECK
IS
THIS
Eating chalk is not a good thing to do, and I am pretty sure can kill you. Also, your “scientific Diagram” looks like a 5th grader with Trisomy 21 made it.
Also, your science and wording are quite fail.
“…release life-giving dioxide gas. It’s get’s it’s name from the fact that it has not one (like in normal oxygen) but two molecules of oxygen. ”
Okay lets take this step by step. First of all, A substance is defined by its molecules, so wrong wording. I think what you were thinking was “It gets its name from that fact that it has not one (like in normal oxygen) but 2 atoms of oxygen in one molecule. Well even if you meant that, that is also a lie. Oxygen Molecules are O2, with 2 atoms of oxygen per molecule, so it would be normal oxygen. Plus, that is not what happens when you eat chalk.
And now to my favorite part. Grammar.
“release life-giving dioxide gas. It’s get’s it’s name from the fact that it has not one (like in normal oxygen) but two molecules of oxygen.”
You are using it’s wrong.
Its is the possesive form that you were looking for. It’s means It Is. So It is get is it is name from…. is what you were saying. Go finish the 5th grade please.
This is so consistent with all of the other bullshit on this website. Everything from terrible grammar all over the place to eating god damn chalk. When you say you hate retards, whose the fuckin idiot eating chalk.
CO2 has no health benefits whatsoever. Furthermore if it was a good thing to have it in your stomach then soda would be amazingly healthy since it has a great quantity of CO2 dissolved in it that doesn’t need to neutralize the hydrochloric acid you need for digestion to be released.
Also, there’s cheaper and better ways to eat chalk if that’s your thing. Tums have the exact same stuff but the pills are easier to chew, have some flavouring, and are in convenient pill form instead of chalkboard writing form.
Also still, calcium carbonate does serve as a calcium suppliment, however, it is among the worst when it comes to your body’s ability to absorb it. Calcium citrate or calcium gluconate are far better for the purpose.
Even more retarded is molecular oxygen has two oxygen atoms in it already and we’re surrounded by the stuff. And guess what? You make CO2 when you exhale! All you need to do to get more CO2 is to put a plastic bag over your head… why don’t you go do that?!
I saw this and thought it was pure brilliance! This is an amazing idea! I can’t believe I never thought of it myself! You are soooo incredibly smart, I almost shit myself when I read this!
Actually, I think that this is the biggest load of shit I have ever heard in my life. I am a republican and this makes me sad to think that throwing that in others peoples faces makes you seem to think people will listen to you, you’re effing crazy. And fucking stupid, not to say the least, eating chalk is BAD for you no matter what kind of chalk it is! People die from doing shit like this! Is America really coming to this? I thought they got all the retards like you under control a long time ago! Because of people like you there will eventually be NO republican party!
AND if I wanted to eat chalk I would go to wal mart and by a pack of chalk for like 3 dollars! WTF!
I just lick the black boards at school, it’s a lot cheaper. I plan on breaking back in to the schools when I graduate, just to have a good lick.