Improve your prayer Power with Pastor Drake
Are you getting the most from your prayer? Are your prayers being answered – if not you might be praying for the wrong thing. Are you praying the way that the Holy Bible tells you to pray? For example, when was the last time you prayed for the death of God’s enemies?
I’m sure some of you might find that a surprising thing to do? After all – doesnt the Bible command us to love everyobody? Of course not – Psalm 35 states clearly that God reqires us to call on him whenever we see sin and injustice. For example, we regularly pray for the death of Barrack Hussein Obama. You can too – it’s called Imprecatory Prayer.
Let me give you an example of just how awesome this gift of prayer is: Last month a member of my flock came to me in great distress. Her son’s new third-grade science teacher had been talking about the atheist biologist Richard Dawkings in his son’s class. He had even read from one of his books about why we should all wear selfish jeans. It was clear that this evil man was trying to turn all the kids against Jesus.
We formed a prayer circle and beseached God that if it was indeed HIS will that Mr. Jennings should be struck down then let it be so: LORD, we prayed, Let thine vengence smite him. We prayed that an angel of the lord would smother his life and send his spirit to hell where eternal damnation almost certainly awaited his sinful soul.
Less than two weeks later that teacher wound up in hospital with a broken arm and a few bruises, and a Christian substitute was called in to take his classes for the next six months. Now can you see how powerful this kind of prayer really can be! Wonderful things happen when you make Imprecatory Prayer in the name of Jesus.
So brothers and sisters: Which of God’s enemies’ death will you be praying for? Will it be our fake President? What about Hitlery Clinton? Perhaps drug users, or maybe even a militant homosexual such as The Atlantic’s Andrew Sullivan who criticised our Church’s simple faith? Please leave your prayer in a comment after this post – and if you feel like it join your fellow reader in prayer. Together lets pool our prayer-power to destroy God’s enemies!
Pastor Drake
5 comments
5 Comments so far
Leave a reply
“Her son’s new third-grade science teacher had been talking about the atheist biologist Richard Dawkings in his son’s class. He had even read from one of his books about why we should all wear selfish jeans. It was clear that this evil man was trying to turn all the kids against Jesus.”
Evolution is taught in biology class, and creationism in theology/religion class.
Of course, a quote about the “selfish jeans” part would be highly appreciated. Sounds more like “paranoid shirt” to me.
“Less than two weeks later that teacher wound up in hospital with a broken arm and a few bruises, and a Christian substitute was called in to take his classes for the next six months. Now can you see how powerful this kind of prayer really can be! Wonderful things happen when you make Imprecatory Prayer in the name of Jesus.”
Yes, I’m sure this was the work of an “angel”. Instead of feeling sorry about his injuries, you label this a “wonderful” event. So much for Christian compassion.
Why does religion turn people into monsters? There’s nothing more dangerous than humans who believe they are the only ones in possession of the truth.
In that case i will be praying for the downfall of real people like you who spread hatred through religion
Lord, smite those who have no sense of humour and wouldn’t recognise sarcasm if it put on a bright pink tutu and a pair of red heels, leapt up onto the nearest table and sang a number of choruses of ‘Sarcasm Is The Lowest For Of Wit (Unless You Fail To Get It)’. May they be smacked mightily upside the head with the clue stick until some of it sinks in. In Jesus’ lovely flower name, amen.
Humour? Dark or sick humour maybe but its not humour by my personal definition satirical again for me satire is quite subtle and most people can tell but then I am British so who knows. For what its worth and that may not mean much this is what I think of the site I believe it started off as a genuine site which then got taken over by satirists and genuine religious and far right fundamentalists. The earlier archives show a level of content not continued here and the same as other comments on various other blogs and sites just Google shelly the republican setting up a satirical site is one thing but carrying it on else where in comment form setting up other sites concerning members of the team eg tristan shudderys blog is just too much in my opinion. I believe that some people on here are just what they say others the exact opposite. Some posts are so ridiculous its hard to take serious others i believe to be for real. I do believe that there are people that truly are like this hence my comment
i don’t get this whole imprecatory prayer thing. you’d think that if God, an all-mighty being, wanted something that he could get it himself. why would God have to rely on puny little humans like us to pray for him to kill people? since when does he need our permission or request?
bring deism back so that things can make sense!!