Yoga – The Open door to Hell
Dear Readers
My good friend, Mr. Billy Bob Neck, spoke about the Dangers of Yoga last year, but I feel I have to emphasize it once more because it’s one of the greatest dangers we face in these difficult times.
Once you lose sight of God you go into a self-destructive mode, which probably includes Homosexuality and Bestiality and also such things as Meditation and Yoga. What one is really doing when performing the act of Yoga or “meditating” is closing your mind to God and opening your mind to the Devil. There is nothing on Yoga or meditation in the Bible and there is a reason for that. God don’t like it! Did you ever hear about Jesus doing Yoga? NO! You didn’t!
Yoga is also part of the homosexual agenda. Gay men love to do Yoga especially with younger men and small boys. Yoga is weakening their victims morals and they use the opportunity to touch their prey, often until the full release of ungodly sexuality. Just do a Google search on “Gay Sexual Yoga” and you come up with over 3 Million search results!
Another awful aspect of Yoga is the increase of bodily self-awareness and the risk of self-seduction. Studies have shown that persons engaged in Yoga are much more likely to masturbate or even perform autofelatio which is the ultimate goal of Yoga in many instances. Some Yoga flyers offer the “skill” of performing autofelatio to single men and women as a way of having “more fun during masturbation”.
Yoga is much more than just some wacko’s way of being a pervert. Yoga is to morality what pot is to drug use. Once you start doing Yoga you are much more likely to perform worse moral failures. In today’s America you can find “nude yoga” schools, clubs and classes literally in every small town and community. This European trend is part of a larger effort to corrupt the American Way of Life, part of a lager effort to destroy the fabric of American society which is the family. Yoga and atheism goes hand in hand by the way which is not surprising at all. Hollywood and certain Japanese print publications are also trying their best to promote self abuse and Yoga.
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STR QUICKFACTS:
- - Yoga is against God
- - Yoga is opening your Mind to the Devil
- - Yoga is being used to seduce minors into sexual activity
- - Yoga is a gateway to sexual promiscuity
- - God does not want us to be naked outside of the shower
What can we do against the sin of Yoga you might ask? Very easy to answer: Use the force of the law against Yogaists. Call the law enforcement and inform them of the sexual misconducts. Watch out for minors doing Yoga. I can assure you that no child is doing Yoga by it’s own free will. Confront Yogaists. I don’t think God minds if you hit them or shoot them. I personally would not go that way, yet, but I would not spit on you if you do.
And please don’t underestimate the dangers of Yoga. There are strong ties between Yoga and Satanism by the way. Just go ahead and do another Google search on “Yoga and Satanism” and you’ll get two hundred twenty one thousand search results. You do have all the reason to go after Yogaists! You are doing God’s work if you do!
I am fairly certain that we can root out perversion from our society if we Christians work together hand in hand with Jesus by our sides.
Thanks for reading folks,
Shelley N. Goodman
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shelley hun don’t you think that calling the law enforcement is just a wee bit extreme hun? it’s just a bunch of bending and stretching. people have a right to work out weather it’s yoga or any other type of exercise you are sounding like the puritans more by the minute dear. don’t you think your being a little extreme. people practice yoga for health reasons and not the facts you’ve put up there. and shelley where in the bible does it say that it’s wrong? it is not a way to praise satan. for crying out loud shelley dear don’t you seriously think your being a little extreme here?
“There is nothing on Yoga or meditation in the Bible and there is a reason for that. God don’t like it! Did you ever hear about Jesus doing Yoga? NO! You didn’t!”
There is nothing about America in the bible….And there is a reason for that…God don´t like it…
There is nothing about guns in the bible….And there is a reason for that…God don´t like Them…
There is nothing about American Cars in the bible….And there is a reason for that…God don´t like them…
There is nothing about Shelleytherepublican in the bible….And there is a reason for that…God don´t like them…
/True Christian
@True Christian oh man now true christian that was absolutely priceless and hilairous good job dude XD.
the comment that god does not want us to be naked outside the shower that’s just plum stupid and it don’t make sense
STR how on god’s green earth do you expect a couple to fuck when there fully clothed? i mean what do they cut holes in the crotches of their jeans in order to fuck.
You didn’t cover all the men’s naughty bits or the women’s short and curlies and “devil’s dumplings”! And what’s up with the ad for a virtual stripper for the desktop? What is that doing on a “Christian” website? In the immortal words of Gomer Pyle,”Shameful,shameful,shameful!”
Psalms seem to love meditation:
5:1 Give ear to my words, O LORD, consider my meditation.
19:14: Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.
119:15 I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways.
104:34 My meditation of him shall be sweet: I will be glad in the LORD.
Bubba
“Paid advertisement below”
-Well folks, that there’s a disclaimer if ever I’ve seen one… I’ll bother killing the article some other time… I just can’t believe STR’s practically throwing in the towel.
-Wraith
Wraith,
I suggest you click on the advertisement and see the whole truth! It’s a trick to bring all them sinners to Jesus!
Shelley
Smelly. I suggest you shut the fuck up, get off the internet and go play with your barbie dolls because you aren’t mature enough to even be near a computer. The internet (and the world) will be a better place subtracted by your existence. In other words, kill yourself.
Heh, fair enough… lame, yet fair enough.
-Wraith
hahaha, this webiste is hilarious.
you guys do realize its a joke blog, right?
@andrew some of their articles is not funny. articles like aids god’s gift to africa and retardation god’s punishment those two articles are not funny and if anyone laughs at those articles are truly fucked up. but i am beginning to understand that people think that it’s satire and a joke.
shelley attends a group called whore trolls anonymous.
I’ve one teeny, tiny, question, well two actually.
One; HOW did you get so many pictures of a) people doing yoga nude and b) then using that flexibility for the Jesusfaced obviousness?
Two; How many people do you know that do yoga nude? Ever heard of a MINORITY GROUP?
Clearly if we cannot be nude outside the shower, then God means for us to only have the hot fuckings IN the shower. Any other time you just tug down your pj bottoms and pull up her night dress and roll on top of her. Meanwhile she can just lie there and think of her favorite psalms.
@Orville Zebadiah rofl hot fuckings in the shower that dear sir is fucking legendary good job dear good job.
but what happens when the water goes cold while your having a hot fucking in the shower orville lmfao XD?
If the water goes cold, that is CLEARLY God telling you that you are sinning. Afterall, it’s not a sin to have sex, only to enjoy it!
@Orville Zebediah rofl good one dude:P
i know why you think god doe’snt want us to be naked outside the shower smelley cause god told you to keep your clothes on and told you that he doe’snt allow hairy bitches like you in heaven and he directed you to the nearest zoo.
What does Shelley find one of the most pressing dangers of our time?
Is it world hunger? Poverty? Cancer? Torture? Execution? Injustice? Intolerance? Inequality? Rising crime rate?
No, silly.
It’s yoga.
(Seriously? Seriously! And don’t say yes.)
Th paid advertisment is porn,is STR making money of porn!!
STR=HYPOCRITES
FUCK THE RAPTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahaha, i went to fionaluv.com and sure enough its a porn site. of course they’re doing yoga naked its fucking porn
way to be narrowminded. it’s sort of sad that you use the bible to blind yourself from reality. it’s sort of sad that you’re going to live your entire life in fear, because of a book someone told you God influenced. it breaks my heart to know people like you feel the need to control the world. if you’re so adamantly against something then don’t do it. i’m not trying to create a law that says you can’t waltz around kissing your wife/husband, why would you do that to me. we’re all human, really we’re all the same, why do you feel the need to single me out?
For God’s Sake do you even have an idea what is Yoga?
Atleast you could have done some research on Google before you wrote this article. Read this , maybe this will enlighten you a bit
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yoga
It is none other than Western/American Perverts who have invented and popularised such things. SO dont’t generalise by commmenting against YOGA.
Cheers..
OMFG, this blog is soo funny I cant stop crying. Go, Go, go. I want more, I need it! Masturbating yoga chicks and guys, this is simple awesome. Thank you.
Shelley:
Don’t mind these “minions”…or should I say “imps”…they are agents of the Devil….and dont want for people to hear the truth. Someone who tells you to kill yourself…hmmmmm very nice person indeed. Hell has a place for these people. The heat is coming….
I can’t tell if this web site is for real or if it’s like the Onion. At any rate, I never give Yoga much credit but seeing those guys suck their own co#%s makes we want to take a class. Thanks Shelly!
I can’t tell if this web site is for real or if it’s like the Onion.
Dear “MyLancemakesmy Armstrong” – I can assure you that this web-site is 100% real. We are nothing like the Onion.
that buddy boy is bull shit cause normal people would’nt believe half the bull shit you write and believe.
You are really, really, really stupid
seriously handicapped
hillarious
These photos are really interesting! Gave me a boner…
Keep reading the bible is that makes you happy, but what you are doing is considered a sin according to your bible.
LOL this was a good read. made me laugh my ass off, and get hard at the same time! lol your a joke. yoga is not evil and i love your ad for a virtual stripper! haha HYPOCRITE
[...] http://ShelleyTheRepublican.com/2008/06/10/yoga.aspx [...]
First of all the ad for the stripper, what’s basically a porn ad is on your website. Funny. It should be illegal to stretch your body in order to relieve muscle tensions.
that did take me a few minutes to realize it was a joke, lol. I believe there are still people who actually think along these lines, but they don’t have the wherewithal to make a website about it. and yeah, the porn ad at the bottom of the page should give it all away.
if you determined readers STILL believe this site is real, just go to the main page where there is an article demanding that fetuses must give written consent before they are aborted, lol.
this site is pretty funny but already I can see how terribly misleading it is. people will believe anything they read on the internet.
Loved the pic!!! Soooooo hot! And sounds even more horny with contexts like ‘Older men get the chance to touch younger men through yoga’ and all that… You sure have an imaginative mind… You should write porn… Would be a hit in India…
Come to think of it… After 21 years in India, I better try yoga now… Are u sure there will be older men?
You should see someone dude. Try to get that crap out of your head. Ever heard something about respect for people who believe in different things than you do?
I hope that you don’t see europe as the origin of the things you hate..
best regards, marco from germany
Jesus never ate a kit-kat chunky either people, I’m sure God wouldn’t mind if we shot those walking down the street eating one.
OH WAIT they weren’t invented back then!
But then again, when has things not being around in the times of Jesus where he, sadly, didn’t manage to spare time from the bible’s description of a rather busy life, stopped it being used as a tool to prove a point that, well, doesn’t exist?
Hello, My fellow American citizen!
I’m happy to see that you’re practicing my beloved religion, Christianity! And had, of course, ignored the religion poor Jesus created for your own safety, Catholicism D:
Yup, I LOVE yoga, and of course, I Love AMERICA!
I’m Republican, and maybe you know me by the name of GOD :D
Praise God, and ask him for more petroleum!
Love you guys,
XOXO
The Devil :)
BTW, I LOVED the paid advertisement! It’s about some Desktop strippers, you know? “VirtuaGirl HD: She lives and Strips on your Desktop!”
You are damned because of that! :D
Cheers!
It seems that I don’t have to do too much arguing since all of your fallacious logic has already been refuted. I will say that it’s people like you that are equating “republican” with words like “uninformed” and “closed-minded.” If you are going to write about topics so foreign to you as the ancient practice of yoga and meditation then you should probably do a bit of preliminary research so you can at least make a good argument. Writing off everything that isn’t explicitly stated as “good” in the bible as an act of sin is rather ignorant. Also I’m pretty sure your morals are against looking up porn but it seems you did a fair bit of THAT before writing this entry. I suppose Christianity as a whole is familiar with bending the rules for those in power. And you as the author are in power, aren’t you.
It is wrong to apply the image of Christ upon the private parts of those people in the fotos. It is a blasfemy, regardless of the subject of the post. I feel the fotos are harmfull for me as a christian anyway.
Yoga IS bad.
I honestly thought this website was a joke, HAHAHA. I don’t know what is more disturbing, the photo-shopped porn images that shelley “the republican” posted ALL OVER her own website; clearly this took some time and thought. Or the fact that this person “Shelley” actually lives and preaches her life according to the literal translation of the bible and anything that isn’t explicitly deemed good or pure in the bible is somehow sinful. I never comment on anything online but this I felt was my civic duty. LOVE LIVE, LOVE YOGA, Namaste you guys!
How Christain can Shelley actually be? Honestly she claims to support murdering Yogaists, which isn’t a word Shelley but good effort. Ever heard of thou shalt not murder thy neighbor. Well Shelley I do believe you are now damned to hell. I guess we’ll be seeing you there, I hear Satan teaches a Yoga 3 class, and you know it gets hot down there. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
Read the article again, Shelley did not call for Yogaists to be murdered. We are 100% opposed to murder.
On the other hand, God’s law is clear: The punishment for blasphemy is death and practitioners of yoga are clearly sinners who deserve to die in the eyes of God. The bible is abundantly clear on this matter.
Yours in Christ,
Jimmy
Omg if you cannot do yoga then you have to do something for an exercis!! I’m not even Cristian for god sake (lol)all I did was just randomly arcing the internet and saw all the goddamn(lol) things on how yoga is from Satan!!!I don’t care what the bible says and for all I care you are as predgitus as all other religions..
So let me get it straight… Yoga is bad but surfing the net for hours looking for porn stars doing yoga is God’s work…
you need to get laid!