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Windows Vista : Reliability meets Design

Dear Friends,
If you are looking for a stable, secure and good looking operating system, there is no alternative to Windows Vista. Only Windows Vista includes the latest state-of-the-art security features like Windows Defender, the best optimization tools like the Defragmenter, the most advanced entertainment applications like the Windows Media Player and the leading word processing applications like Notepad.

(click on the thumbnail above)
This is my computer screen, friends. Only with Windows Vista I can handle my high workload and still manage to be productive and creative! God bless Windows Vista (wait a sec, He already did!).

Our blog (the one you are reading right now) is hosted on windows vista. The hosting upgrade from Linux to Windows XP increased the uptime from 77% to 95% and the upgrade from Windows XP to Windows Vista has increased the uptime to a proud 99.5%, even though we are attacked by terrorist hackers every single day. No hacker has been able to bring our website down since the hosting is done by Vista. It?s virtually unhackable.

mac-os.jpg
This is a Mac OS screenshot. Many experts agree that the Apple operating system is one of the most unstable there are. The reason some people actually still buy apple might be that it’s the
Homosexual’s favorite computer.

As you know, I am a person, deeply committed to the beauty in this world. As your lifestyle correspondent on this website, I have brought many issues of the good taste to your attention. And that is another point I love Windows Vista for. It?s truly a never-ending source of eye candy! No other operating system even comes close to the beautiful designs of Windows Vista. Linux looks more or less as it has been designed by retarded children and Mac OS looks like a it has been designed in the early 70s.
You might say, ?Ok, looks aren?t everything so, what about the technical aspect??
Rest assured, friends, no other OS even comes close when it comes to the latest technology. Only Windows operates on top of the famous ?DOS ? Technology?. DOS has been developed by the NASA and it was used to control and operate the space shuttle in the early 1990s.

linux.jpg
Linux. Boring, ugly, gray. And because it’s not based on the advanced “DOS-Technology” it’s unstable, too.

Dear Readers, there is no good reason to use anything else than Windows Vista. In case you are not using Vista yet, I urge you to switch to the only Godly OS there is!
I like to take this opportunity and thank Mr. Bill Gates for bringing us Windows and especially Windows Vista. Thanks so much, Mr. Gates, you made using a computer fun. God bless you.

Yours,
Shelley The Republican

Share This Post 71 comments

71 Comments so far

  1. OxayotlTheGreat November 30th, 2007 8:35 AM

    I just agree with Vista Team Member. I love your humor, you can mimic the worst clich?ɬ© of a over-moronic American redneck so well that it made me almost thought you were serious !

    Hopefully I found the post where you said that Mozilla Firefox users were being redirected on a page with Bible quotation, and obviously I wasn’t redirected, so that allowed me to make up my mind about it. Still, this is one of the funniest website ever !

  2. Tav December 8th, 2007 3:50 PM

    Great post. STR. You write so sublimely that it flies over most people’s heads.

  3. FreeStoring December 10th, 2007 10:44 AM

    hay!!
    good project :)
    senks :)

  4. TheRidge! December 12th, 2007 9:20 AM

    =======
    macs are extremely unstable. You have to restart them every hour in order to use them.

    Shelley
    ====================
    Macs are far superior to Microshaft OS’s.. and they are heck of a lot more stable….

    As a Avid mac fan may I offer some support for you mac issue. If Macs are shutting down every hour then you are suffering a ID10T error. This common cause of this is the input device between the chair and the keyboard.

    hope that helps

    PS… linux kicks ass as well ;-)

  5. ridgekiller December 12th, 2007 9:42 AM

    TheRidge is insane, he must be stopped

    he is in fact linked with the russian linux mafioso!!!!

    doom to the ridge!!!!!

  6. TheRidge! December 12th, 2007 9:44 AM

    AHHH!!!! there on to me!

    *Advert* *Advert* *Advert* *Advert*

    Me and my mate Osama, are looking for a place to hide.

    any offers will be appreciated

    TheRidge

    *Advert end*

  7. Osama December 12th, 2007 9:46 AM

    Osama here,

    I don’t want anyone to think I am in cooperation with the one who calls himself ‘the ridge’.

    I am in fact an avid Vista fan and have been supplied copies of this OS by the US government.

    I love america

    end

  8. TheRidge! December 12th, 2007 9:49 AM

    Osama! Dont install Vista!!

    The US Goverment are very vocal about catching you, if you install it then you will be suseptiable to Trojans and spyware that will send confidential info about you to them and they will get you!!!! its a trap!

    NOOO!

  9. Osama December 12th, 2007 9:53 AM

    I am concerned about your comment

    However I am reassured by the fact that I am confident in George’s Bush Regime.

    My father and his father were great lovers of what is right, and eachother.

    We are like brothers…if only George had been a woman, he would be my mother.

    I am sorry Ridge…I cannot believe he would do this to me after all our dealings…blood is thicker than oil…er water.

  10. OxayotlTheGreat December 12th, 2007 10:02 AM

    Osama, can I get an autograph ?

  11. Osama December 12th, 2007 10:30 AM

    If you can help me get this flingging flanging vista to work….

    I’m trying to play warcraft…want to turn the ridge into a sheep but it’s been a while

  12. TheRidge! December 12th, 2007 10:42 AM

    You want to turn me into a sheep… again!..

    i didn’t like what happend the last time you did that…. was cruel!

    In fact, im gunna book a session with my therapist…

  13. Osama December 12th, 2007 10:51 AM

    therapist doesn’t care, none of them do….it’s right there in their names……

    they will rape you of you money young elvling….

    and I’ll have you know that a lot of sheep would pay for that kind of a good time.

  14. OxayotlTheGreat December 12th, 2007 11:03 AM

    Only the Horde can win, you puny Alliance scum !

  15. Osama December 12th, 2007 11:05 AM

    theridge and the murphinator are no match for the rebel horde

  16. TheRidge! December 12th, 2007 11:31 AM

    FOR THE ALLIANCE!

    Surrender now Oxayotlthegreat and I may make you my slave rather then crush your under foot

    Horde Scum, All your horde bases are belong to us. (at least till you make a raid and take it back)

  17. OxayotlTheGreat December 12th, 2007 12:25 PM

    My ass ! All my bases are belong to me; because my peons are warlord-likes !

  18. TheRidge! December 13th, 2007 4:36 AM

    ZEITGIEST!!!!!!! WOOHOOO

  19. OxayotlTheGreat December 13th, 2007 7:50 AM

    For Zhul’ji !

  20. Osama December 13th, 2007 8:00 AM

    Ridge, in my mother tongue the word you said is blasphemy. I would appreciate an apology to my mother regarding that remard.

    Osama

  21. OxayotlTheGreat December 13th, 2007 9:26 AM

    Which is thy mother tongue, Osama ?

  22. Alex December 16th, 2007 3:57 AM

    You fucking sicken me. This is the biggest joke I have ever heard? VISTA? STABLE? Don’t make me laugh. I have to restart Vista every hour while I’m using it. I haven’t had Linux crash for nearly a year, and that was only a hardware problem.

  23. erikrat December 16th, 2007 4:01 AM

    Mac OS X!
    All other shall fall!

  24. Alex December 16th, 2007 4:05 AM

    Oh by the way, your site is still hosted on Linux:

    [08:03:04] [ alex in ~/ ] $ telnet shelleytherepublican.com 80
    Trying 74.53.228.162…
    Connected to shelleytherepublican.com.
    Escape character is ‘^]’.
    help

    501 Method Not Implemented

    Method Not Implemented
    help to /index.html not supported.
    Invalid method in request help

    Apache/1.3.37 Server at gator304.hostgator.com Port 80

    Connection closed by foreign host.

    Apache 1.3.37. A look at your host’s website (hostgator.com) tells me they don’t even HAVE windows hosting. You are a liar.

  25. Alex December 16th, 2007 4:09 AM

    PLUS, It’s a really nice trick you’ve got there to make WordPress display .aspx on the end of URLs. You’re using WordPress, it says so at the bottom of the page. WordPress is written in PHP!

  26. OxayotlTheGreat December 16th, 2007 7:31 AM

    erikrat : Lol.

    OpenBSD. All other already failed.
    OpenBSD. Only two remote holes in the default install, in more than 10 years !
    OpenBSD. You silly bastard.
    OpenBSD. Sending script kiddies to /dev/null since 1995
    OpenBSD. World class security for much less than the price of a cruise missile.
    OpenBSD. Because it will always be free.
    OpenBSD. Because their music pwnz !

  27. Ingeheano December 24th, 2007 10:57 AM

    good worck The Disney properties have long allowed same-sex couples to tie the knot on the … (It’s called camp, darlings.) But the most interesting fact here is just …
    senks

  28. Bin Laden December 27th, 2007 6:17 AM

    Ok… You won.. I use linux and what? Is the best OS!! You suck MAN!

    Notice: Bush will die…

  29. me January 10th, 2008 10:59 PM

    Mac OS X FTW!!!

  30. OxayotlTheGreat January 11th, 2008 12:19 PM

    Mac OSX suck for n00bs piece of shit on the rocks.

    OpenBSD.

  31. sara carter January 21st, 2008 10:06 PM

    i cannot believe i’m saying this but i gotta agree with shelley i love windows vista. shelley makes a good valid point about windows vista.

  32. miles credit cards February 20th, 2008 2:30 PM

    miles credit cards…

    drove,Georges fellowships abominable …

  33. Bernardt Welnings February 29th, 2008 1:39 PM

    I wish you true friends, neighbors, and acquaintances God’s grace and blessing! I and my wife, two children, and my old father have used Microsoft products for almost two decades now. Thank you. I found Windows easy to use and so far a great computer. Because we continue our long history of success and use superior American product we can ensure a bright future for all citizens!!

    Thank you Shelley and may the god bless you!

  34. Pierre-Olivier D. April 1st, 2008 9:44 AM
  35. Davide April 20th, 2008 4:15 AM

    The screenshots of mac and linux are very old while windows vista screenshot is recent…. Why did you not show a recent screenshot of mac and linux? Do you know compiz and beryl?

  36. cethink May 14th, 2008 4:08 AM

    thank’s for STR, for they effort to bulid this site…

    I belive you’ll get oscar from The Funniest Joke Ever category…

  37. linux lover May 23rd, 2008 10:41 PM

    this is the stupitest page i ever seen.. please donate brain to the writer.

  38. Lelucon yang tak lucu « roosandi’s May 31st, 2008 4:19 PM

    [...] Windows Vista : Reliability meets Design Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Balada Kamis-Jumat-SabtuFirst LauncHNo Title“Kesempatan” [...]

  39. niph August 13th, 2008 7:07 AM

    On the vista screenshoot, there is pidgin icon in the quick launch right??? haha,,

  40. K790 August 18th, 2008 3:38 PM

    I don’t really know how you can be so blind about the OS’s different than Windows, even when you don’t understand what are you saying Windows is the weakest inOS’s in the market.
    About the beauty, you can customize the appeareance for linux in many ways than linux, because it is free (as in freedom) to modify, even without knowing a bit of programming.

  41. kate August 21st, 2008 2:18 PM

    hm. nevermind that screenshot from mac os is probably one of the first versions, and that a comparable screenshot from windows at the time would be even worse, or that you obviously intentionally set the linux color scheme to grayscale before you took that screenshot. seriously, you’re so full of hatred for everyone around you that you try to politicize which operating system you use?

  42. kate August 21st, 2008 2:19 PM

    oh, and really? notepad? a leading word processor? have you turned on a computer lately?

  43. linux user August 26th, 2008 8:50 PM

    linux is more stable than microshit, and you can customize linux, is not gray

  44. jazz September 1st, 2008 2:04 AM

    fffuuuccckkk!!!
    you’re so funny..
    how old are you?? are you going to die??
    sssttt.., don’t tell anybody that you don’t have any brain??

  45. Carl September 24th, 2008 11:02 AM

    I read this post, sometime yesterday night, and during this whole day I’ve been laughing at you Shelley. Its funny of you to even compare Microsoft Vista to an MacOS version that is over 10 years old. If you looked at microsofts products present at the time, even then the MacOS looked better and was more easy to use. Researchers within topsubjects as advanced biologi and gene-research use Apples operativesystem beacuse its simply more optimized and goes through insane calculations alot faster than any other software for windows platforms, in the goal to categorize all genes in the human body.

    I believe you suffer from ignorance, and has no so what ability to strengthen these posts in any academic way. You simply make yourself look like a fool. I feel sorry for you Shelley. You just boosted all my prejudices for american republicans.

  46. Shelley Goodman September 24th, 2008 11:21 AM

    Carl

    I don’t at all understand why you find my article so amusing. It’s a fair and balanced analysis of current operating systems.

    Shelley N. Goodman

  47. Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl September 25th, 2008 3:20 AM

    «Researchers within topsubjects as advanced biologi and gene-research use Apples operativesystem beacuse its simply more optimized and goes through insane calculations alot faster than any other software for windows platforms, in the goal to categorize all genes in the human body.»
    Lol.
    Carl, you are SO out of date :·D.
    http://www.top500.org/stats/list/31/osfam
    There are even more Windows (and this OS is true shit) in the TOP500 than MacOSX. Linux pwnz everything, as usual.

    «You just boosted all my prejudices for american republicans.»
    Lol again. That website is a spoof :·D. And it is obvious ! Just read a few more articles ….

  48. Steve Gates October 11th, 2008 2:35 PM

    For all you upset people who got stuck with shitty OS X for a christmas present or something (perhaps due to your “emo” clothing and “artistic lifestyle”) you can rejoice in running Windows Vista through Boot Camp!

  49. Sara Carter October 11th, 2008 11:15 PM

    well smelleytheshorthairytroll your article is so damn amusing it’s also fun to laugh at your expense smelley you dipstick rofl.

  50. John October 22nd, 2008 7:03 AM

    Hi,

    Have You been payed by Microsoft? Because it seams so.

  51. John October 22nd, 2008 7:08 AM

    Your screenshot of Vista is the latest one while of the MAC OS is from some old version. Frankly you are a fony.
    And one thing more, have some respect of the gay community.

    Besides you are probably payed by Microsoft the sum of $15 000

  52. J October 22nd, 2008 8:28 AM

    http://blogs.zdnet.com/Apple/?p=2415

    You’re a corrupt republican.

  53. Micke October 22nd, 2008 1:51 PM

    This artile about Vista is so full of s*it, I don’t even know where to start…
    First of all, have a look at some newer screenshots. Windows didn’t look to great either back then.
    Linux looks like it was designed by retarded children and OSX in the 70’s… Yeah right!

    Mac OS X:
    http://www.objectfarm.org/Activities/Publications/TheMerger/UserInterfaces/MacOSX-Desktop.jpg

    (Linux) KDE:
    http://arstechnica.com/news.media/kde4_desktop.png

    (Linux) Compiz:
    http://shikai.shadowraith.com/images/xgl-compiz.jpg

    “the best optimization tools like the Defragmenter”
    With a real filesystem you don’t even have to defrag the hd. But of course, if you insist on running Windows and their crappy ntfs, fine, keep on defragmenting.

    NASA’s new supercomputer will be one of the largest SGI Altix ICE systems ever deployed, joining the State of New Mexico’s Encanto, a 14,336-core SGI Altix ICE system which is currently ranked as the third most powerful supercomputer in the world. And yes, it also runs SUSE Linux Enterprise Server.

    Have a look at topp500.org, the list of the 500 most powerful supercomputers in the world. 427 of them runs Linux, 25 Unix, 1 BSD, 2 Mac OS, 40 Mixed and only 5 are running Windows.

    If an operating system requires a brand new “gamer pc” with a minimum of 2 Gb ram, just to run smoothly I would say that Microsoft have really messed up.

    Some nice reading about uptime. I’ll give you a teaser:

    “The latest survey, which was completed in January 2008, served up some very interesting results and a few surprises. UNIX, the leading Linux distributions from Novell and Red Hat as well as open source Ubuntu were the clear winners in Yankee Group’s 2007-2008 Global Server Operating Reliability Survey….. ….The biggest and most unwelcome surprise in the survey was that Windows Server 2003 downtime increased by 25 percent to nearly 9 hours of downtime per server per year”

    Full article: http://www.iaps.com/2008-server-reliability-survey.html

    Btw, Disney is running Linux on their workstatins for 3d animation since 2002. Why, well not because Linux is designed by some retarded children anyway…

    So what are you going to do with the $15000 that Microsoft payed you to write this bulls*hit?

  54. christer October 22nd, 2008 4:05 PM

    I wondering if anyone take you seriously.
    Absolutely no facts at all.

    By the way, youve got your 15,000 dollars from microsoft as they offers to besmirch OS X?

  55. Sara Carter October 22nd, 2008 9:44 PM

    @christer your not the only one who is wondering and i agree whole heartedly with ya.

    there is no way in hell those STR idiots can believe and be serious about the articles they write people like that can’t be that stupid.

    now i am believing STR is pure satire. :D

  56. GiZeus November 16th, 2008 2:48 PM

    I did love this piece of news. I discovered this blog today and I was laughing my ass off ;) even if I’m french (nooooooooo!!!!)
    Such a good ironic article deserves to be published in any good newspaper and i would like every people open their eyes and throw windows away. I have a dream!…

  57. Aberinkulas November 16th, 2008 11:07 PM

    The only this better than the article itself are the comments who have no idea what’s going on.

    Keep on attacking her, boys. It’s quite entertaining.

  58. NotDumb January 29th, 2009 3:17 PM

    Wow
    I thought this site was going to be good. Well I was wrong. The ignorant bs being thrown around is awesome. How can you call your self a republican when all your doing is bashing others. Why not try and be a lil more humble. I don’t think god would want you making fun of other people.
    Is this the only way you can get your point out. You need to bash and tease others.
    Well screw you. You all need to F*** O$$
    You don’t know how to turn a computer on and try something new. Your to dumb to run something other than windows. How Much Money is Microsoft paying you. Lets see your check book. Oh thats right MSMoney lost your records.

  59. chris June 16th, 2009 6:26 PM

    Gosh, I’d like to say first off the bat that you really nailed it on the head- bout the Mac’s being for gays. I thought there was something funny about that. now it all makes sense. liberals too.
    anyway, i have a question, i bought a new Hummel (the one with Jesus holding the Lamb), usb model they say you can just plug her in there with the usb to the computer you know. then the lamb should light up and Jesus eyes should glow, but the thing is, im having problems finding the drivers for it, because my SON, (Lord bless him!) bought me a MAC for Christ-mas and i can’t get the Blessed thing to work at all! Im no computer genius, but does this mean my son is GAY? please don’t print my name. i would be mortified. Your advice appreciated.
    your brother in Christ,
    chris,

  60. John July 14th, 2009 4:13 PM

    oh wow, you guys are stupid.
    just eat whatever the corporations shit out?
    Windows XP is 10 times more stable than Vista,
    and MACS, theyre about the most stable OS is in the business. and Macs are not just homo-machines, i know many heterosexuals that use macs.

    and oh, btw(by the way)
    plz quote the bible on the topic proving that im wrong and Macs are for homos

  61. Evelyn July 14th, 2009 11:46 PM

    Lol U R gay !

    Here is the verse :

    “And God said to the sinner : Lul, U R using a MACINTOSH, U R GAY, 4 macs R 4 GAY, and Thou shall not be GAY 1!11 LULZ”
    - Matthew 6:19-21,24

    See ? You are wrong, and you are gay !

  62. John July 15th, 2009 1:28 PM

    “Lol U R gay !

    Here is the verse :

    “And God said to the sinner : Lul, U R using a MACINTOSH, U R GAY, 4 macs R 4 GAY, and Thou shall not be GAY 1!11 LULZ”
    - Matthew 6:19-21,24

    See ? You are wrong, and you are gay !”

    wow, ur mature, i wish i could be like you some day

  63. Evelyn July 15th, 2009 9:27 PM

    This is because the Lord of Glory is my saviour : he gives me strength and power !
    Thou shallst bow to him now and forever, and forget thy evil way : use no more gay anti-american Apple products, because they are for faggots !
    Every iPod user is a gay homosexual faggot from hell !

  64. John July 16th, 2009 1:44 AM

    WOW, ive met potatoes that are smarter than you.
    God does not care what computer you use what so ever!

    the Computer was invented by a homo and it allowed the US to win WW2!!!!!!!
    so the next time you go and criticize homos, just remember this: it was a homo that saved us from Hitler.

  65. Evelyn July 16th, 2009 10:44 AM

    U must be smoking pot, U lie-beral pothead !

    Turing was no homo, this is just anti-american communist propaganda no-one sane would believe. Besides, he found the idea on how to break Enigma while studying the Bible. God spoke to him. Period !

  66. John July 16th, 2009 1:39 PM

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Turing
    http://www.turing.org.uk/turing/
    http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/turing/
    go read it,
    clearly says he was gay, and multiple times, and in no place did it mention the bible. A home invented the computer, stop denying it.

    and oh, im not a pot head, i hate the smell of it, and im not a liberal, i hate liberals and conservatives alike, they both have their heads so far up their ass they cant see straight,like you.

  67. Evelyn July 16th, 2009 9:48 PM

    Oh please !

    I mean, just read this again :
    ““And God said to the sinner : Lul, U R using a MACINTOSH, U R GAY, 4 macs R 4 GAY, and Thou shall not be GAY 1!11 LULZ”
    - Matthew 6:19-21,24″
    Do you really think anyone could believe it comes from the Bible ? Have you checked what Matthew 6:19-21,24 is ?
    You don’t get sarcasm easily, do you ?

    And by the way, I actually despise equally Windows and MacOSX, because none of them run Gnome, my beloved desktop environment !
    (And also because Microsoft and Apple use extremely unfair methods to crush their competitors …)
    If Turing was still alive now, he’ll use Gnome (on Linux or *BSD, I have no idea which one, maybe Linux is more probable) !

  68. John July 17th, 2009 2:15 AM

    its not that i dont get sarcasm, i just assume anyone posting on the site is brainwashed and ur following comment calling me a lieberal pot head seemed to prove the prove the point that your one of them, and Turing was a great man, a gay man, but still a great man, and while ill like to get into linux, im deathly afraid of data loss and im not sure on how to partion my harddrive since its all used up,
    i just gotta go with the windows, i grew up with it, and ill still continue to use, even if these nutjobs support it

  69. Evelyn July 17th, 2009 7:59 AM

    Come on, man, this website is great ! Have you read their “Mozilla is Satan” article ?
    Beside, since it seems you didn’t get it, I’ve just kind of clearly stated that I was just making fun out of you. I don’t give a damn if you’re a liberal or whatever, but it is pretty funny to see you going mad :?D.
    Turing was indeed a great man.
    You should definitely get a new hard drive. Or you could also just try a live-CD. Or even use Wubi, included in the latest Ubuntu version (and maybe in some other distros), which allows you to install your whole Linux system on a Windows partition.

  70. John July 17th, 2009 7:55 PM

    LOL i love firefox!!! i goto this site just for the lolz.
    again, i hate liberals and conservatives alike :D!
    You seem to have some sense of humor
    and i gotta admit, it is funny to watch get mad.
    i would love to get a new HDD, but power is a bit tight, and i have more important things to upgrade on it, ive used a live cd before for an older version of it, i like it, it kept a familiar look to it, came with MFF, overall an awesome deal.
    and btw, gostrooper@live.com, im curious about Wubi, so if you could IM me, that will be a lot better than this, i feel my brain cells die while i read this hahah

  71. Evelyn July 18th, 2009 1:05 PM

    Well, you know, I’m kind of an old-school FLOSS, so I don’t use WLM. But I use Jabber/Google talk, my account is oxayotl@jabber.fr

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Shelley The Republican : For God, America and George W. Bush