STR † THE FREEDOM BLOG©

Now I ain’t one to usually get bent outta shape about nothing.? My wife is always running around getting concerned about this, that and the other thing…and a lot of times it’s about me not getting bent outta shape about it, too!

“Billy Bob,” she starts quacking at me, “If y’all don’t get that fallout shelter re-done soon that how are we gonna survive when al Qaeda drop the bomb on us!?”

“Honey,” I tell her, “y’all don’t need to get bent outta shape about it.? God’s gonna let us know when it’s all gonna come down.? And besides, that’ll mean that the End Times is just around the corner!”

She kinda slinks off grumbling and pretends to take my point, but I can tell she’s prolly on the phone with Madge or her momma quacking away at them instead.? And that’s just fine with me.

Now I usually don’t really look at the videos on YouTube.? I just put mine up and vamoose.? Ain’t no need to accidentally run into something that could test my willpower or faith in the Lord.? But every now and then something catches my eye and I can’t help but check it out.? That was the case the other day when I say…well, I ain’t sure what it was!? It looked like some kinda transvestite gook in Army fatigues and since I had an uncle that was in Nam I felt obliged to ask God to condemn his or her soul to Hell for the part he or she played in getting my uncle locked up on a trumped up charge of heroin trafficking.? If them gooks had surrendered when they was supposed to then we would’ve won that war.

Anyway, turns out the “gook” turned out to be a jap like the kind whose butt we kicked in the greatest war America ever fought.? Now I’m pretty sure that they ain’t supposed to have an army still so what the heck is this guy doing with fatigues?? I had another uncle in the Navy and he taught me a little bit a semaphore as a kid.? I don’t remember none of it, but I know what it looks like and if this guy ain’t trying to put out some message in semaphore than I descended from monkeys!

Now y’all are gonna try to say – “Oh, Billy Bob, it ain’t nothing!? He’s got Gene Autry in the background.? Oh, yeah?? Well, Tokyo Rose used to broadcast America songs in the hopes of either getting them to rat out the Allies or get ‘em all het up until they found some jap streetwalker and died of some STD.

Come to think of it – this guy looks a lot like Tokyo Rose!

If y’all have any information about some kinda terrorist action the japs are planning, get a hold of me or Homeland Security ASAP!?? Let’s beat the japs before they strike this time!!