Sunday Prayer
Dear Lord
We know that you favor America above all other nations
And American sports above all other sports
With that in mind, please bless the Super Bowl
And the fine burly men whose athletic prowess
Is an inspiration to American boys as to what a man should be
And, Lord, thank you, too
For striking a blow against fake football
By shutting down the Italian soccer league
We know that this will serve as an important lesson to our boys
That playing soccer leads to violence, disrepect for authority?and homosexuality
And those are Yurpeen values
Not American values
Amen
BBN
26 comments
26 Comments so far
Leave a reply
Loading ...
Dear Lord
We know that you Don?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t favor America above all other nations, as long as mini Bush, the Antichrist is president.
We Know that American sports can?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t compeed with real football, like the Europeans play ( The most popular sport in the world).
With that in mind, please have mercy on the Super Bowl
And the gay men whose athletic Is an inspiration to other gay American boys. The way they constantly lay on top of each other, soddomizing, is not something to show our children.
For striking a blow against those who corrupt real football, By bringing violence to our Lords favoured sport, Like the the Violence Bush the Antichrist brings to the world.
We know that this will serve as an important lesson to other real Christians, That playing American football leads to violence and homosexuality, which are what the evil hordes of Bush want.
Praise Jesus.
Amen
/True Christian
We know that you favor America above all other nations
That?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s why 9/11 happened…
And American sports above all other sports
That?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s why no one outside the USA plays them and the World Championship was a big success.
For striking a blow against fake football
By shutting down the Italian soccer league
It?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s not really a blow against foorball, it?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s a blow against Italy. And yeah, thanks god, those spaghetti-chompers deserve it for what they have done to Germany in the WC!
We know that this will serve as an important lesson to our boys
Yeah, getting stomped by a former communist country is humiliating..
That playing soccer leads to violence, disrepect for authority and homosexuality
Lol, and American football does not?
And those are Yurpeen values
Not American values
Yeah, American values are greed, laziness and a unhealthy lifestyle…
@True Christian: AMEN!
The German Guy
IMPEACH BUSH!
man, these prayers get sicker every week…you think god loves arrogance or what?
it?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s just sports and honestly i like both of’em.
The greatest irony of satire is those who take it seriously.
Unless of course those who are taking it seriously are in fact being ironic as well, in which case I’m getting confused.
WTF is wrong with you? praying about the super bowl. first of all who cares? it doesn’t effect you life AT ALL… please if your gonna pray pray about somthing that might effect your life or maybe somthing that matters.
Of course sometimes you really can tell when someone doesn’t quite get it. *ahem* Zedroth *ahem*
Pretty funny prayer this week guys. And of course, we all know the Bears are going to stomp those damn liberal Colts.
“Dear Lord, please let me not have to eat my words after tonight’s game…”
Praying about the superiority of US “bread and circuses” over the European ones? Is this comedy,tragedy or blasphemy? God doesn’t bless ignorant dumb jocks playing(That’s what children do,play!) their ball(Baal)games! No wonder the world is going to hell in a handbasket! Mindless distractions for the sheeple who waste their valuable time on entertainment instead of waking up to the truth! The Lord especially doesn’t bless foolish nonsense where overpaid moronic “men” pat each other’s behinds and pile on top of each other!
Amen!
WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME HOW SOCCER SOMEHOW LEADS TO HOMOSEXUALITY ?
NFL franchises are a form of corporate welfare! There’s an article on the Federal Observer website entitled,Jonesing for a Hit of Man Fuel…Of Pigskin Pushers,Football(Fan)atics and Blissful Blindness by Jason Miller: http:www.federalobserver.com/archive.php?aid=11312
The url should have been: http://www.federalobserver.com/archive.php?aid=11312
Dear Lord,
Please have mercy on the souls who believe STR are true christians.
And Lord please do not hold against STR for their ignorance and stupidity.
Please somehow get it through STR’s head that no one nation is better then another, and no one sport is better then another,that it is just ones opinions on what sport is better then another.
Also help them find their way out of their own ignorant self-centered hatred. We know that not one sport can lead to ones sexuality. However some people need help with their ignorance, that they can not see what is in front of their face. They have become blinded to reality by their hatred for others and for other nations. They have falling farther and farther into their own self hatred.
Lord STR needs help walking along their path. They have been fooled by Satan and are actually worshipping him under your name. Lord let them finally open their eyes to reality and show them you are not this hateful kill all god. Lord let them get a life and stop mocking your faith.
In Jesus name, Amen..
Now there would be a half decent prayer if I was christian. STR started off pretty fucking funny, but now they are just pure out lame asses. Well atleast they didnt pray for someone to get killed this time.
Now what I want to know is how the fuck do they get that the sport soccer leads to homosexuality? have I missed something or is it the american football that the men are sticking their hands between another mans legs at his crotch? and slapping each other on the ass? And yes someone needs to bless the super bowl and everyone watching it who are getting drunk off their ass. lol…
yea striking down soccer sends a great lesson to our boys here that they need to stick with american football grabbing another mans crotch and the QB behind every one who is bent down with their asses toward the QB where he can take his pick at which ass he likes the most. And yes soccer is a more violent sport where one is kicking a ball around. unlike the american football players knocking each other down and seeing how hard they can hit one another.
Mentally Stable, I understand that some soccer hooligans are violent skinheads who beat up gays,but I don’t think soccer leads to homosexuality except in Billy Bob Neck’s twisted imagination! I don’t think much of sports but I don’t believe any sport has any effect on sexual preference! I know of an American football fan who’s a lesbian but I don’t think football made her that way!
I love this place! This is the funniest republican site I’ve seen in a long time! Thanks for exposing the genius of the republican party! Praise the Lord Most High!
The reason Italy leads to homosexuality is because it’s not the competition its what happens after the game in the showers. Any real man knows that’s where the real horseplay starts. Look what happened to Musclinni the Emoporer of Italy after the war. The called him the duce. I read where Hemingway said he put a lot of sugars in his little cooffee cup. Anyone who likes that much sugar is a homosexual and a socialist. String them up. Praise Jesus.
level-headed February 4th, 2007 1:58 pm
Of course sometimes you really can tell when someone doesn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t quite get it. *ahem* Zedroth *ahem*
Pretty funny prayer this week guys. And of course, we all know the Bears are going to stomp those damn liberal Colts.
?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Dear Lord, please let me not have to eat my words after tonight?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s game?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?Ǭ??¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?
uh level-headed i think you should start eating those words of yours. because those “damned liberal colts” tamed those bears lol
sorry your prayer didnt work.
wiccan-goddes
Yeah, I kinda knew in the back of my mind that the Bears would lose. But I had to stand up for my hometown team, you know?
Hahaha, I love this prayer, great joke.
-Yeah isn’t American Football the one where they are all a bunch of pansies? I mean look at the body armor they wear, 7’s and 15’s Rugby player just go out there in shorts and t-shirt usually.
-Soccer leads to being gay eh? Why is it everytime I watch american football, that I see ass slapping and guys sticking their hand between each others crutches, is that not usually referred to as being gay? Soccer the only time they touch a man is when they have a fight or if they shoulder barge someone.
-Soccer players themselves, while are a little violent are nothing compared to bloody ice hockey, I mean they spend about 90% of the time punching the crap outa each other. It’s the soccer fans in europe that start the violence. And America doesn’t need sports to be violent…
-This quote here “And the fine burly men whose athletic prowess” that sort of hints towards the person who wrote this being gay? “Fine burly men” um yeah… Why not say something a little less gay like, the extremely strong men or something aye? Unless it was shelley who wrote this, in which case it’s not as bad.
Wiccan Goddes.
“uh level-headed i think you should start eating those words of yours. because those ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?damned liberal colts?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? tamed those bears lol
sorry your prayer didnt work.”
Lol of course the prayer didn’t work, God can’t change anything, sorta like asking a tree to do ballet… Or my asking of my imaginary friend bob to kill someone, it an’t gonna happen…
Level-Headed.
“Yeah, I kinda knew in the back of my mind that the Bears would lose. But I had to stand up for my hometown team, you know?”
Good on ya for being loyal.
Hmm, also a note on being gay, if you removed the beard and moustache on that painting of jesus, he’d look like a she, and the only thing to tell the he’s a he is the fact he’s flat chested, but I know some flat chested gals.
@Atheist God
“Hmm, also a note on being gay, if you removed the beard and moustache on that painting of jesus, he?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥d look like a she, and the only thing to tell the he?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s a he is the fact he?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s flat chested, but I know some flat chested gals.”
And accordingly to STR.com, all men with long hair are homosexuals, so now you see what they really think of him…
I love this site…I thought theonion.com was funny satire but this is great!!!
I started reading the fine article about Linux being communist and now this fine piece of….work….
Keep it up, a good laugh is a great wa to start the day.
PS – I am Republican (Although I think Bush is an ass), Christian, serving in the USAF in the UK….
Sorry – Forgot to mention…
I am white but, unlike these freaks, I am not a member of the KKK
@ Level-headed..
Sorry I wasnt trying to sound like a bitch or anything. just picking with ya. Sorry had to say something cause even tho i am not a football fan I am a liberal lol… sorry if you took it offensive. I wasnt trying to be a bitch..
@ Atheist God..
haha I know it wasnt going to work, I think Level-headed might had of just stuck that little prayer in there lol.. I like you example of the tree doing ballet lol..
“We know that you favor America above all other nations”
“God” favoures native americans’ America. That’s how he planned to be (your words)..
I like this site. It’s so damn funny I can’t stop laughing. Keep up the good work Shelly :D