STR’s Monthly Tech Awards
Friends,
The other day Sony USA announced that they would ban pornographic movies from their next-generation DVD players called “Blu-Ray”. Any movie maker who attempts to distribute a pornographic movie on the Blu Ray platform will find their license revoked and all of their movies deactivated by Sony’s invention: DRM.
Thanks to this techology, Sony can make Blu-Ray players that are unable to play certain harmful disks. For example if a DVD is found to contain an overtly liberal or pro-terrorist message Sony can prevent every single one of their players from playing it. This fixes one of the biggest problems with the existing DVD players. Anybody can make old-style DVD content – even Al-Queda. There is no way to ensure that content developers are morally responsible.
Sony have taken taken a great moral lead: They’ve given us the freedom to be free from sickening filth and pornography. That’s just about the only freedom that counts in media today. We at STR.com wonder why other manufacturers have failed to take such a principled stand against one of the greatest threats that face America. In particular we wonder when makers of Linux based media players will give their products a moral upgrade.
Elegance and Sophistication: This amazing Sony Blue-Ray player can be yours for a mere $999. Great content such as Fox TV’s 24 will be on sale before March 2007, so there will be no shortage of great shows and movies to watch. This player includes the world’s most advanced DRM – the technology that guarantees your freedom to keep buying great products. By supporting DRM you are helping to protect American industry from evil foreign pirates and communist hackers, but best of all you are protecting your family from amoral foreign influences.
We are delighted to announce that the first ever trophy for the “Shelley The Republican Awards for Moral Leadership in Technology” go to Sony USA for the invention of Blue Ray. This is a device that every concerned Christian Conservative “early-adopter” in the USA will soon be lining up to buy.
I just FedEx’d the trophy below to Sony’s chairman Howard Stringer. One of the great things about Shelley’s technology awards is that each winner will get an absolutely unique trophy to display in their office. Just look at the trophy below: It’s been hand-crafted in solid alabaster by David, my son-in-law. This is a mark of just how much we respect progress:
Howard, this is for you:
We hope that the chairman of Sony USA has room in his office for this most impressive award. This technological marvel runs on twelve size-D batteries, stands at an imposing four ft high and weighs over 154lbs. If you press down it’s left-tallon it’s eyes light-up and it’s animatronic beak sings “The Battle Hymn of the Republic”.
Yours in Christ,
Tristan J. Shuddery
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Sony is Japanese company. I thought you think Japan is evil and pervert country :)
Sony USA is just one branch of Sony Corporation. Sony USA didn’t announce that porn-ban, it’s Sony’s global decision. Your award is going to the wrong adress.
the good news is that blu ray is actually invented by those damned liberal Dutch.
Minor detail…..
btw. what about the japanese being so perverse you can’t even distinguish men from women…..
I boggled, do we now hate or love the japanese….
The porn business moves lots and lots of USD… Ask president Bush if he is willing to give them up!
America is the world’s biggest porn exporters. Here is one thing where America is in front of those damn Europeans.
Are you implying that are no Republicans who watch porn, hire hookers, rape kids? Just watch the evening news and you will see your conclusions about Republicans and/or Christians cannot be made so lightly. You, me, and anyone else are made from the same basic material. None is flawless.
Regards
Pedro (the European son of Lucifer)
the DRM isn’t a sony invention
And they didn’t ban porn, they just told they wouldn’t help the porn maker. Slight difference
Tristan, y’all can bet I’m gonna go right out and get one of these! It’s about time that you can buy some kind of appliance that doesn’t have anything to do with pornography. A woman in my church told me that her now-ex-husband bought a refrigerator with a TV built into it just so that he could watch his filth sex videos while he made breakfast for his children!
If it were up to me, I’d give Sony TWO of those awards!
But I like the terrorists…what should I do?
Recently I took an enourmous poop that was sort of in the shape of Louisiana. I saved it for Katrina relief. Any chance of me getting a STR Award? I’ll display it proudly in my bathroom!
First, the article sited states that Sony is blocking replicators from printing porn DVDs – there’s no mention of “deactivating” anything. Second, there’s no technology in the Blu-Ray DVD player that can tell what’s playing and block it accordingly. This is a purely a company policy decision and has nothing to do with some sort of technological advancement that Sony’s developed to aid the moral policing of customers.
Finally, this isn’t the first time that Sony has tried to put forth a new media platform. Even if Blu-Ray is technologically superior to HD-DVD (which is where the industry is heading), chances are it won’t take off if it shuts out the adult industry. Case in point: read up on Betamax in the 80’s. It was technologically ahead of VHS, but because Sony cut out the porn industry it fell by the way side.
Here’s an idea: be a parent and regulate what your children watch instead of depending on a machine to do it for you.
PS
Please actually read the article you site next time. It helps to know what you’re talking about. :)
God Bless!
The Japs at Sony put an American white man in charge and you can see the favorable results! No more stupid products like Beta-mix. God bless Sony America for banning smut from those blue ray players whatever they are. I am still using a 17 year old Sylvania VHS thing which shows you how high tech the Fernley family is. They certainly sound like they deserve this award though and if I ever decide to buy a blue ray this is the one I will buy. I suppose the pinko commie liberals will be screaming about censorship and freedom of speech but who cares what they think? There just aint gonna be no smut in the home of Jarvis Fernley. That’s all she wrote. Praise Jesus!
Praise be to Christ and the Lord above that Sony has shone forth the light of Freedom and Justice by preventing the greatest threat to America ever seen….cyber terrorists and porn.
Over in Europe there’s just a bunch of no good satan worshipping cesspool of immoral filth – Sony has cleansed the way people! The PS3
Gone are the days where people choose what they can and cannot watch….now God himself provides control…through the arm of Holy Sony.
Praise be to Sony! Praise be to Christ!
USA is the world’s biggest porn producer, you idiots!
Lol sony hasnt banned porno on blu ray, they however will not make any disks with x rated (sony own the actual factories with the equipment to actually burn the disks on a large scale).
Porn will appear on blu ray eventually when disk producing costs fall however the time advantage of hd-dvd will allow it to win.
As said by Ani the format with the porn advantage usually wins!!
They?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥ve given us the freedom to be free from sickening filth and pornography.
You had that freedom before. If you don?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t like it, don?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t watch it. Simple, isn?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t it?
PS: Isn?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t Sony a corporation from that evil hell-hole Japan?
The Japs at Sony put an American white man in charge and you can see the favorable results!
He?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s in charge in the USA branch. The decision to not support (note that this does not mean ban!) was made in Sony?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s central in Tokio, Japan. Mr. Stringer had nothing to do with that decision.
I suppose the pinko commie liberals will be screaming about censorship and freedom of speech but who cares what they think?
60% of your country right now.
Sony has cleansed the way people! The PS3
Nintendo Wii for the win! Although, I?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•d rate the PS3 close behind. And (Waaaay!) after them the american product: X-Box 360.
The German Guy
IMPEACH BUSH!
uhhh wouldn’t it be better if you didnt watch porn and buy porn instead of buying a 999 player? why is it that you republicans has to have a machine to keep you from watching porn? dont you have will power? seems like since the republicans has to have a player that will not allow them to watch porn, watches it more then anyone else. or why would they need a player that would keep them from watching it? as stated above…
haha they just screwed themselves
peace,
the wiccan-goddess
hope the DVD player falls on yr head and kills u!
sony is a japanese company.
someone please tell me this is a joke about sony? if not i will boycott sony for this. i cannot believe this. i say this in a respectable and a nicely manner why do you christians wanna make life a living hell for us? why can’t you just let us have our freedom and enjoy things. i don’t watch porn but why i ask you do you have to make life a living hell for people? us americans are having our rights stripped as we know it. anyways have a nice day.