Briefly Patriotic – Friday Poporri
Well, I talked to Mrs. Goodman and she agreed that Friday Funnies was a little too narrow.? She thought it oughta be more of what she called a “poporri”.? I don’t know what it means but it sounds good.? So here’s a Christmas song to make you reflect on how lucky we are to have Jesus as our Savior and give us everlasting life!
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Shelley you need to let the light into your heart. God is very disappointed with you for your sins. You know which sins I am referring to. His heart pains that you have taken his word for granted- to an ignorant place. God be with you, and remember:
“A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult,” and “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” Proverbs 12:16, 29:11.
you spelled potpourri wrong… and you are ignorant.
Isn’t potpourri French?
1. It?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s potpurri.
2. Just keep the funnies. You could make the potpourri on another day instead.
3. The song is so and so. Not my taste of music.
Here are my Friday Funnies:
George W. Bush’s Resume
George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave., NW
Washington, D.C. 20500
Past Work Experience
* Ran for congress and lost.
* Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
* Bought an oil company, but couldn’t find any oil in Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
* Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.
* With father’s help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.
Accomplishments in Previous Positions
*
Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
*
Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
*
Set record for most executions by any governor in American history.
*
Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father’s appointments to the Supreme Court.
Accomplishments As President
* Attacked and took over two countries.
* Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
* Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
* Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
* Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
* First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
* First president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
* First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in U.S. history.
* After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
* Set the record for most campaign fundraising trips than any other president in U.S. history.
* In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
* Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in U.S. history.
* Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
* Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in U.S. history.
* Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
* Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in U.S. history.
* Presided over the biggest energy crises in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
* Presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
* Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
* Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
* Dissolved more international treaties than any president in U.S. history.
* My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in U.S. history.
* Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history (the ‘poorest’ multimillionaire, Condoleezza Rice, has an Exxon oil tanker named after her).
* First president in U.S. history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
* Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
* First president in U.S. history to order a U.S. attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.
* Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
* Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in U.S. history.
* First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the human rights commission.
* First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the elections monitoring board.
* Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in U.S. history.
* Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
* Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
* Refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
* First president in U.S. history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. elections).
* All-time U.S. (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
* My biggest lifetime campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
* Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in U.S. history.
* First president in U.S. history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
* First president to run and hide when the U.S. came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
* First U.S. president to establish a secret shadow government.
* Took the biggest world sympathy for the U.S. after 9/11, and in less than a year made the U.S. the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in U.S. and world history).
* With a policy of ‘disengagement’ created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
* Fist U.S. president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
* First U.S. president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the U.S. than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
* Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
* Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated U.S. law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
* Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden ‘dead or alive.’
* Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capital building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.
* In the 18 months following the 9/11 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
* Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in U.S. history.
* In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the U.S. has ever been since the Civil War.
* Entered office with the strongest economy in U.S. history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.
Records and References
* At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available)
* AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.
* Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
* All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father’s library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
* All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
* All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
* Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
* For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (they can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)
And a short one:
A Suggestion
George Bush has started an ill-timed and disastrous war under false pretenses by lying to the American people and to the Congress; he has run a budget surplus into a severe deficit; he has consistently and unconscionably favored the wealthy and corporations over the rights and needs of the population; he has destroyed trust and confidence in, and good will toward, the United States around the globe; he has ignored global warming, to the world’s detriment; he has wantonly broken our treaty obligations; he has condoned torture of prisoners; he has attempted to create a theocracy in the United States; he has appointed incompetent cronies to positions of vital national importance.
Now, would someone please give him a blow job so we can impeach him?
And to end it: My favourite:
Battle Hymn of the Republicans
(to the tune of the Battle Hymn of the Republic)
Mine Eyes have seen the bungling of that stumbling moron Bush;
He has blathered all the drivel that the neo-cons can push;
He has lost sight of all reason ’cause his head is up his tush;
The Doofus marches on.
I have heard him butcher syntax like a kindergarten fool;
There is warranted suspicion that he never went to school;
Should we fault him for the policies — or is he just their tool?
The lies keep piling on.
Glory! Glory! How he’ll Screw Ya’!
Glory! Glory! How he’ll Screw Ya’!
Glory! Glory! How he’ll Screw Ya’!
His wreckage will live on.
I have seen him cut the taxes of the billionaires’ lone heir;
As he spends another zillion on an aircraft carrier;
Let the smokestacks keep polluting — do we really need clean air?
The surplus is now gone.
Glory! Glory! How he’ll Screw Ya’!
Glory! Glory! How he’ll Screw Ya’!
Glory! Glory! How he’ll Screw Ya’!
Your safety net is gone!
Now he’s got a mighty hankerin’ to bomb a prostrate state;
Though the whole world knows its crazy — and the U.N. says to wait;
When he doesn’t have the evidence, “We must prevaricate.”
Diplomacy is done!
Oh, a trumped-up war is excellent; we have no moral bounds;
Should the reasons be disputed, we’ll just make up other grounds;
Enraging several billions — to his brainlessness redounds;
The Doofus marches on!
Glory! Glory! How he’ll Screw Ya’!
Glory! Glory! How he’ll Screw Ya’!
Glory! Glory! How he’ll Screw Ya’!
THIS…DOO…FUS…MAR…CHES…ON
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Now thats funny.
Shelley and co…read what Proud German has to say and try to learn something. I know the truth comes hard to you, but if you can come up with any facts – and I mean facts with citations to where obtained, not ‘god told me’ – to confute the above, I would be interested to read them.
http://texaslive.blogspot.com
The real story, breaking down the argument of STR.com.
@Proud German.
Now, that’s what I call posting. Great hymn, very hilarious!
Fablehaft!
Slovak Guy