Comments on: Masturbation : Offensive to God!

By: Eric

Eric — Mon, 03 May 2010 21:07:53 +0000

Wow, this is probably the most idiotic article i have ever read.
Masturation is a completely healthy thing to do, it allows you to get out sexual tension in a healthy way. Saying youll go to hell because of it is beyond stupid. I know many girls who masturbate, and they enjoy it. I have a friend who actually is able to consintrate better in school because she started masturbating, cause she would be in school and feel sexual urges, making it hard to stay focused. She started to masturbate once in a while, and now her grades started goin up.
And about your daughters, who cares if they do. Im sure they will eventually, they will be cleaning themselves, and find the feeling good, its gonna happen. So stop being blinded by that religous bull.

By: Cady

Cady — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 04:20:25 +0000

I’m not even here to talk about the masturbation, but I find it offensive that you say that God will hate you and you will burn in hell. God does not hate anyone. Have you ever heard the phrase love the sinner hate the sin? and who are you to say what god loves and hates, and you should never beat a child, punishment is deserved, but a beating? How can you call yourself a Christian. Christians are called to love others and spread the word, not condemn everyone on the planet for what they do wrong. no wonder everyone hates Christians. and I am one…

By: an open mind

an open mind — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 10:11:57 +0000

Alright! It might be better if You’d masturbate instead of beating children! Or does that thrill You? In Your words this is supposed to be a sin!

By: Amen

Amen — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 23:20:11 +0000

Doesn’t God said to luv every1 around you???
Masturbating isn’t wrong at all….
IF you dont masturbate i bet ull go crazy o.o

By: frank

frank — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 07:04:06 +0000

i have to disagree with genesis 38:8 about onan? he was not masturbating, GOD had told him to have sex with his brothers wife, he pulled it out and spilled his seed on the ground, he new that it was not going to be his child. he disobeyed god! and beating a child half to death for masturbating? is wrong! you are very confused on this scripture. you are taking it way out of text and you have the wrong meaning!

By: Brothers

Brothers — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 06:31:49 +0000

I BET YOU THE PERSON WHO STARTED THIS BLOG… Ann Coulter!

By: Brothers

Brothers — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 05:52:01 +0000

Where the fuck in your BIBLE… do you see beat your CHILD… Thats like abuse and if you do it cause your kids are getting off thats more like sexual abuse… Your a cunt…

By: Brothers

Brothers — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 05:49:46 +0000

You need to get laid… VAGINISM no honey you got mothballs in your pussy. I bet your twat taste like PINESOL! I jack off.. stroke my cock, blow loads make knuckle babies like 5 times a day… But dont worry i dont waste it … I eat my cum… I want to finger your girls pussy and I am GAY!

By: Jordan

Jordan — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 03:40:12 +0000

I masturbated to this artical. Best orgasm ever.

By: Ethergy

Ethergy — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 22:59:55 +0000

Hey Shelley,

I am a 16 year old, Pastafarian, New Zealander. Now, I understand where you are coming from, with your religious views and the like, however, religion nowadays has strayed from it’s original path. In fact it has been straying for centuries. Religion was originally, no more than an explanation for why things were as they were, thus, why the sun moved across the sky, why the seasons changed. Somewhere along the line, religion moved down what I like to call the: “or else” pathway. Now, you MUST follow the rules of your religon to the letter “or else” there are consequences. At first, this was effective, “Thou shalt not kill” probably fended off quite a few murders, for example. However, now it is getting ridiculous, we MUST pray before we eat, we MUST pray before we sleep, we MUST NOT do anything which the church does not approve of. God may not even exist, but that is beside the point, God in itself is a creation of man, the penultimate set of guidelines that even kings must follow, a sort of equality balance. Feel free to put me on your hit list, feel free to condemn me to hell, my religion’s hell isn’t all that bad anyway. However, your petty rants against natural psycological, and physical processes, such as masturbation, fall on deaf ears, little ones. Homosexuality is not a choice, it is a biological normality, if God created us in his image, and governs us to his rules, and loves EVERYONE. Why does he hate his special children? the ones that keep the balances of humanity in check? Personally, I beleive that if God exists, he just wants us to love everyone, so that is what I do.

And hey, if you make it to heaven, if it really exists, i’ll see you there.

Ciao,
Ethergy

By: Knows Logic

Knows Logic — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 19:56:43 +0000

This article has no merit what so ever… The person who wrote it is a throw back to the Dark Ages… I have pity on them. They are weak and no more than a sheep following a false Shepard. The bible is a great book that should be taken as a moral guide to life… emphasis on “GUIDE” not an exact truth or reality. It’s meant to teach. Moreover holding 2000+ years of ideals true to the modern day with the knowledge we have now is stupid… a lot of what was written there has been scientifically proven differently. The bible is a moral guide to establish a social norm and not the word of God, to believe that is just ignorant.

Please pull your head out of your ass… or take out a shotgun (I know you have one) and make sure you get your head in front of it before you pull the trigger.

By: JP

JP — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 18:09:52 +0000

Thanks a lot for this – lovely parody!
Exaggeration is always the best way to make fun of those fundementalist nut jobs who actually believe that nonsense.

By: Duo

Duo — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 23:39:26 +0000

^lol.