What do Scientists really believe?
Scientists claim that their god-hating statements are merely an expression of their ?superior rationality?, but are scientists really logical? Today STR.com would like to introduce you to some of science’s dirty little secrets:
One of the 1960’s most famous brain-scientists was L. Ron. Hubbard, who founded a new kind of psychiatry called “Dianetics”. His theories whilst radical were also completely preposterous, and were embraced only by the ?anything goes? liberals that dominate psycho-analysis, who hyped his theories as “The New Science of Mental Health”.
L. Ron. Hubbard is revered by most scientists as one of the ?great experimenters?, we see him here trying to measure a tomato’s soul which he called a ?Thetan?. Why is it that so few scientists will comment about this man who is one of their greatest philosophers?
Hubbard was undeterred: He was responsible for a schism in the field of psychiatry that exists today, and founded an organisation called ?The Church of Scientology?, which is a popular ?alternative religion?, based on the idea that Science should replace God in American culture. Members of Hubbard’s Church of Scientology literally worship Science. Their rituals even involve space-age volt-meters.
Scientology is very popular amongst the “science community”, it’s name is a clue that they are actually one and the same thing. Ironically, most scientists will be unwilling to admit their membership of this odd anti-Christian fraternity. Could it be that science would rather keep it’s dirty laundry hidden?
Next time you see somebody who claims to be a scientist, ask them if they are a member of the Church of Scientology? Chances are that they will respond with a tirade of angry denials. Scientologists are told to conceal their membership. What more proof do you need of a guilty secret?
So if that isn’t whackadoodle enough for you, may I introduce Dr Gene Ray, with his invention the ?Time Cube? – he’s the crackpot that believes that the earth is split up into four-corners and has four separate days.
Is the world organized according to the “four-corners harmonic principle“, as proposed by Dr Gene Ray? The Bible, the book upon which all valid science is based disagrees, and yet Rays’s madcap theories are gaining traction in the world of high-energy physics. Why don’t “scientists” speak out against Dr Gene Ray? Could it be that they secretly believe in his theories?
The fact that most scientists believe Dr Ray’s theories does not in any sense validate them, it merely shows that scientists are credulous fools who are prepared to believe anything if it fits into their godless world-view.
And now for my final exhibit ? while myself and the other fellows of the Discovery institute have been diligently resolving the controvorsy between Neo-Darwinian thinking and the more rational doctrine of Intelligent Design, a group of scientists have come up with what must be the most bizarre theory ever: Specifically, they believe that the earth and all life on it was created by a ?Flying Spaghetti Monster?.
This strange cult was founded by lab-coat wearing goons, but has taken over much of America. When scientists found that their godless theories of Darwinism were not taking hold in Kansas and Oklahoma, they tried to invent something more convincing. Anybody familiar with Genesis Chapter 1 will quickly dismiss this pasta-monster as a grotesque fantasy.
Here are some actual quotations from famous scientists, proclaiming their belief in this new cult:
?At one time, I believed as the Aztecs did, that the universe was created by two gods, Quetzalcoatl and Tezcatlipoca who attacked and ripped apart Hungry Woman to create the universe. Then I believed, as the Moriori do, that the universe was created when Papa and her husband Rangi hugged and bore children, and were subsequently separated by their son Tane who let light shine between them. However, my views have been swayed by the substantial evidence that the earth and universe was actually created relatively recently by the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM). I am firmly convinced that the evidence supporting this depiction of the origins of life, the universe, and everything has many of the trappings of science, and I therefore support the inclusion of FSM creation evidence in the Kansas science curriculum and standards.?? Sebastian Wren, Ph.D
So, scientists will believe anything, regardless of how preposterous they are. This only confirms what most Republicans have known for years. Liberal science has nothing at all to do with understanding God’s creation – it’s only agenda is to disprove God because they are jealous of our faith.
?I hope no one confuses the terrible and naive notion of ID with what it means to be Christian. In a way, ID represents a very flawed unchristian God who was incompetent to the task of creating capable natural laws, and so resorted to post-creation tinkering, thus giving the impression of supernatural design. Yet, if supernaturalism be called for, then the pasta family of theologies seems the most plausible, and unquestionably the tastiest with cheese.?
?Stephen D. Unwin, Ph.D., Author of ?The Probability of God?
What could be more plausible than the Truth, which God himself has revealed through the miracle of the Holy Bible? Why are “scientists” so closed-minded to revealed facts?
?I am writing to support the inclusion of FSM in the Kansas school curriculum. Your writings on the teachings of the FSM as creator of the universe are as credible and valid as the views promoted by the followers of ID theory. As a sociologist, I believe that research must also be conducted on the rising popularity of low-carbohydrate diets. I suspect there is a strong correlation between this trend and the persecution of those who support the teachings of FSM. I hope the Kansas School Board will promote inclusion and tolerance by teaching FSM theories.?
? Stephannie C. Roy, Ph.D.
So it’s not enough that these scientists go to hell, they want to take every child in Kansas with them! Why do scientists hate American kids so much? Is this really what passes for logic in the science community these days?
When I first saw this Flying Monster, I assumed it just had to be some kind of liberal joke. As you know, most liberals are obsessed by satire, and live in a constant state of hysterical laugher, but upon reading this site further I discovered that some liberals take this stuff seriously.
This is something we should all be concerned about. If you do not believe me, consider that “False Christs” is the number one warning sign on the Rapture Index. What is the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster other than a “false Christ”?
After reading this abomnable new “science”, I asked God and the STR.com team what we should do about the FSM problem. Shelly suggested that I write a short letter to the founders of this evil cult:
Dear Bobby,
I am writing to you to express extreme caution about your so-called scientific project. I believe that your purpose is to further muddy the debate between Intelligent Design and the now widely debunked theories of neo-Darwinism.
I note with some sadness that I am not the first Christian who has written in to warn you of the grave error of your ways, however the Holy Spirit informs me that I may be one of the last, for the simple reason that the End Times are near, and people who mock The LORD, and his holy Book, The Bible are certain to be judged as sinners.
Please re-read the sober warnings from my Christian friends, those people who God called to write to you. They only criticize you because they share Christ’s love for all sinners.
I also implore you not to post this message in your “hate mail” section, for what could be more loving than criticizing sin to save the sinner? I have been praying to God for guidance and he has told me to tell you to shut down your site, renounce your claims of flying-monsters and re-dedicate your life to Jesus Christ, or else you will find yourself suffering for an eternity in Hell.
I’m going to send the email tomorrow, and I’m certain that it will cause the “pastafarians” to reflect upon their mockery of god. If I can but give them a moment of sober reflection, then God’s will may be done.
Yours in Christ,
Tristan J. Shuddery
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You are so thick you can’t even recognize satire, FSM and pastafarianism is actually a clever satire on the ID theory.
As for Scientology, it is not valid science because it has no proof and no way to test it. It is yet another religion. And just because some obscure PhD (not all PhDs are scientists by the way) believes in it, all scientists do.
Lamer,
Does your name mean “lame” and then some? I wouldn’t be surprised judging by your comment here. I can say true now that Tristan is the most intelligent person I have ever met. Perhaps the most intelligent person in America and therefore the world (give or take a few Republican intellectuals like Donald Rumsefield). What is this bull about not being able to recognise satire? I say to you that you’re such a liberal fool that you can’t recognise the Devil’s work – ie FSM! They have followers, people believe it, people take it seriously? Is it still satire then? You know, sometime people accuse my good friend Shelley of being a satirist, but she’s a member of the GOP – as is this website. Just as much a satire as the FSM is in fact. Think on Lamest, think on!
Tristan, please, a bit better research. Scientology is not a religion of scientists, and the FSM was created as a JOKE. They say so even on their homepage (see section “Important News” right at the top).
God Bless America!
If people follow JC and the Bible, is it still satire?
@Marc
LOL this was a good question.
Sam, I do know that liberals like to joke about pretty much everything. There are some topics which should not be subject to humor, for example religion.
We all know that America is based on the teachings of Jesus Christ, so when liberals mock his book, they are in effect mocking the whole of America. Should liberals be permitted to insult our most cherished values at a time of war? I personally think not.
So I will not deny that aspects of this FSM may be the same kind of crude liberal satire, but as with neo-darwiniasm, homosexuality and a whole load of absurd liberal beliefs, there is always a hard-core of true believers who are prepared to trample over our religious rights in order to push their dangerous agenda. I think we conservatives need to be aware of this “FSM” as we would of any threat to our nation’s morality.
Flying spagetti monster?
Genius. Pure genius…
nice intelligent arguments. definitely worth a read. God Bless America!!!!!
I remember hearing something about these scientists but I never much paid attention to it because I figured it was a joke. Tom Cruise a scientist?? John Travolta?? As always, Tristan, your ability to make the importance of this kind of thing understandable to the the general public is an inspiration to the whole STR community! At our next church social, I’m gonna have a “throw tomatos at L. Ron Cubbard” concession! I bet we’ll break the bank with that one!
God is Love!
One of the 1960?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s most famous brain-scientists was L. Ron. Hubbard, who founded a new kind of psychiatry called ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Dianetics?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?. His theories whilst radical were also completely preposterous, and were embraced only by the ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?anything goes?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? liberals that dominate psycho-analysis, who hyped his theories as ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?The New Science of Mental Health?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?.
Calling Hubbard a scientist. Wow. Now that?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s dumb. He is as much a scientist as Hitler liked the jews.
Next time you see somebody who claims to be a scientist, ask them if they are a member of the Church of Scientology? Chances are that they will respond with a tirade of angry denials. Scientologists are told to conceal their membership. What more proof do you need of a guilty secret?
Ok, so I ask you: Are you gay? Don?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t deny it, it?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•ll only proof that you are. See the similarity?
The Bible, the book upon which all valid science is based
That one makes me laugh. If all valid science would be based upon the bible, there would be no internet. (There also would be no electric energy, no cars etc. We would live like in Medieval.)
And now for my final exhibit ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¨ while myself and the other fellows of the Discovery institute have been diligently resolving the controvorsy between Neo-Darwinian thinking and the more rational doctrine of Intelligent Design, a group of scientists have come up with what must be the most bizarre theory ever: Specifically, they believe that the earth and all life on it was created by a ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Flying Spaghetti Monster?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?.
The FSM is nothing else as a fun-experiment showing how all modern religions including christianity are working. It?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s not meant to be taken serious.
?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?At one time, I believed as the Aztecs did, that the universe was created by two gods, Quetzalcoatl and Tezcatlipoca who attacked and ripped apart Hungry Woman to create the universe. Then I believed, as the Moriori do, that the universe was created when Papa and her husband Rangi hugged and bore children, and were subsequently separated by their son Tane who let light shine between them. However, my views have been swayed by the substantial evidence that the earth and universe was actually created relatively recently by the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM). I am firmly convinced that the evidence supporting this depiction of the origins of life, the universe, and everything has many of the trappings of science, and I therefore support the inclusion of FSM creation evidence in the Kansas science curriculum and standards.?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ??¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¨ Sebastian Wren, Ph.D
That one was sarcasm. If you had to bring in “intelligent design” he meant, than you could also bring it that bull****.
The two other ones following are sarcasm, too.
What could be more plausible than the Truth, which God himself has revealed through the miracle of the Holy Bible? Why are ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?scientists?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? so closed-minded to revealed facts?
To call it facts would require a proof. There is however none, so it?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s a fairy tale.
Oh, and I think he won?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t post it under hatemail. He will post it under funny things.
Sam said:
I can say true now that Tristan is the most intelligent person I have ever met.
Then you?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•re a very poor guy.I pity you. PS: Now what?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s up with the Unit? Are the cowardly, idiotic soldier-wannabees coming or not?
Marc said:
If people follow JC and the Bible, is it still satire?
A good question indeed! =)
Tristan said:
We all know that America is based on the teachings of Jesus Christ, so when liberals mock his book, they are in effect mocking the whole of America. Should liberals be permitted to insult our most cherished values at a time of war? I personally think not.
Wrong again. Read the constitution. The USA are a secular state based upon democrazy and the free will of it?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s population.
@ Billy Bob:
Sorry to bust your idea, but Ron Hubbard is already dead. And if he were not, do you really think that you would have made it into his heavily guarded villa without getting shot by the bodyguards? Oh and neither John Travolta nor Tom Cruise are scientists. And this proves that scientology is nither science (it?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s some kind of religious sect) nor only for scientists.
The German Guy
Please teach Shelley and Co the difference between science and religious fairy tales.
IMPEACH BUSH!
Ron L. Hubbard was an idiot, and possibly crazy, his ideas seriously do deserved to be outlawed… But you wouldn’t have a website if it wasn’t for science (in the same way that you wouldn’t be allowed post any of your material if it wasn’t for liberal theories such as free speech and expression) so what the hell is wrong with you.
Liberal Athiest European Linux using Hacker
If you were seeking any kind of truth at all, you’d criticise science on a far more rational basis than you actually do. Yes, even a cursory glance at any history of science will show you that some fairly preprosterous things have been proposed over the centuries. However, science is a self-moderating, self-updating, self-correcting enterprise, which is why, for example, no scientist will postulate that the Sun goes around the Earth, or that light requires a Luminiferous Ether through which to travel. Your article attempts to discredit centuries of scientific endeavour by looking at a) a man that, even charitably, only be described as a whack-job, b) an incredibly obscure and outre theory (and where, exactly, is the empirical data to support your “most scientists believe…” statement?) and c) a joke, aimed at satirising the Intelligent Design movement. By choosing these targets, you win nothing; rather, you show yourself to be rationally and scientifically illiterate. Worse, you seem to actively *want* to remain totally ignorant of the truly amazing endeavour that human science represents, and to wallow instead in a belief system that hasn’t embraced anything new in well over a millenium. Worse still, you’re probably quite hypocritical in your criticism of science – I wonder how rapidly you’d embrace what it has to offer if you ever required life-saving medical treatment? Like a shot, one would imagine.
Scientologists blow so many sheep.
hey what is your problem, the FMS is all love, stop say that bad and ugly things of my religion; i’m just kidding everone know that the real god is…. of course chuck norris
Hey now, Tristan. Be nice.
I mean, I don’t judge all Christians by the example you and the rest of the chucklebunch set.
Sure there are some interesting people in the world of science, but that’s most likely because morons like you give them never-ending stick.
Has anyone seen my lighter?
Scientist have caused more harm to the world that can possibly be imagined. Quite frankly, I’m suprised that they haven’t been renditioned along with all those evil Hawaiians that God just punished. I have to believe that there is a reason for this…
But what of it? We could just go on ignoring scientist and science if we so chose. And we could all just walk to work instead of drive and grow our own food and make our own clothes and whatnot. I mean, isn’t that really what God intended? Science is for the fearful and the afraid, we’ve really no need to understand the workings of the world, we should be content with our lot in life and our placement at the top of the food chain. That should be enough!
You guys are all crazy.
I want to be a republican so bad – than I read this bull**** and want to kill my self.
F*** Jesus, F*** Iraq, F*** Religion, F*** Liberals, F*** God
Go Bush! Go Stem Cell Research! Go war! Go Patriot Act! Go Chenney! Go Pro Choice! Go Pro-Life!
Shelley, you really need to get yourself an “Edumacation”
Irration prick.
Scientologists still blow.
not a single name in this article is a scientist, scienteology is a prank and no scientist beleives in it it is full of idiots like tom cruise. the time cube as well is an idiotic idea which no scietist beleives in. please bring me links of real scitests who beleive in this shit.
oh and you say that because scietists say they do not beleive in scientology that they secretly do?
can i take this to mean that when you say you beleive that the devil is evil that you secretly beleive the devil is your savior. come on
My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions!
Read My Inaugural Address
My Site=http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/spaceman
I can’t even count the number of complete lies and falacies in your article, Tristan. I won’t bother to repeat them all, since Anonymous did it so well. A few are so blatantly wrong that I must repeat them.
Ron Hubbard was no scientist. He flunked out of college. I have never met a scientist in my life that belongs to the Church of Scientology. However, I suppose by your logic that must mean they all are.
Dr. Gene Ray is no scientist. He is an electrician from Florida. The scientific community laughs at his theories.
As for the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, well that’s all true. The world truly was created by a giant mass of spaghetti and meatballs. So, put on a pirate hat and come join us at the beer volcano!
I can only hope that this site is not serious. Is there a level of satire here that I have failed to grasp?
-Fr. Jack, PhD. FSMism
I demand equal time for Evolutionary Penguinism, or at the very least, serious consideration of the Septentrianalian Separatists. We acknowledge the fine work of the Pastafarians as fellow travellers, but they have missed the essential role of the busboy in the scheme of things. I hope there will soon be some serious examination of these pertinent points – perhaps after the election (if the machines work, and the system doesn’t experience chronic Ritis.)
Good-looking site. Congratulations.
Yeah, you should really do some sort of research before writing. While I do not agree with Scientology and what they believe, they are not a religion that wants to replace god with Scientists. I assume you just made that up in your head and thought people would by it. And the Flying Spaghetti Monster? It’s a joke. Satire. So sad that you didn’t get it.
You’re kidding right? The flying spaghetti monster is a joke – a mockery of religion. The people posting are being sarcastic. Get a clue.
Dont forget.. Tom Cruise is gay….. him and his wifey was just another Scientology attempt to cover up that Tom Cruise is gay… but then.. If I was Tom Cruise….. and I was a Scientologist… Id be shocked to realise I wasnt unhappy to!! :S