Linux Zealots: If at first you don’t succeed, cheat!
Friends,
I know a few of you have been clamoring to hear whats happening in the world of computers. Now that I’ve retired I’ve got plenty of time to follow the news and report back exactly whats going on in the world of IT, and it sure isnt pretty.
Not so long ago, when this site was new, Shelly and I published an article called “Linux, a European Threat to our Computers“. It seems that the Good Lord was guiding our hands, because shortly after we published a very famous and influential Texan Congressman from the House Appropriations Committee read our research and decided to act upon it. As a result, a number of Federal Linux pork-barrel projects were told to buy American or risk having their budgets cut. Lets just say, that this year a number of important faith-based projects recieved some unexpected bonuses.
Tom Delay is an enemy of government waste, and was keen to back our Anti-Linux campaign. He is just one of many influencial Republicans who are prepared to back American technology. Why should we entrust anything less to the faith-based groups which will one day provide America’s essential services?
I like to think that this wasn’t just a victory for ShellyTheRepublican.com, but a victory for Jesus, America and most of all a victory for you, the taxpayer. So before I plunge into today’s story Shlley, Sam and I all wanted to say a big thank-you for all your support, donations and prayers. We really couldn’t have done it without you, the loyal STR.com readers, and of course our corporate sponsors.
Now speaking of great American technology, many of you will have heard that Microsoft Vista is running late. The liberal IT press are pulling their usual wise-guy act of blaimg Microsoft, saying things like Microsoft cant write computer-programs any more or Microsoft got in too deep with their Vista project. The truth is that Vista has been ready for months: It’s the Europeans who’ve forced Microsoft to deliver late.
STR Fact File: Should I upgrade to Vista now? Yes, definitely. Vista includes an all-new sercurity system called TCP/IP which will no doubt stump foreign hackers for years. A client of mine had a Linux computer which had a virus called “Fur Elise” which caused the computer to play random melodies through it’s speaker. I told him that if he upgraded to Vista the virus would be gone. Unfortunately he failed to heed my advice, and days later the PC’s cheap foreign-made CPU had completely burned out.
Some people just dont know when they are beat. Don’t you remember that there used to be a “Desktop war”… well Microsoft won it by inventing a new sort of computer called Windows XP which totally beat out the European Linux. If you don’t believe me, read this review we did a few months back.
A “state of the art” German made computer, naturally running Linux. Notice it’s “Enter the Matrix” style user-interface, and oddly configured keyboard. Obsolete IT like this is one of the reasons why Europe is so backwards compared to the rest of the world. Europe has banned Windows Vista because it will pose a competitive threat to it’s own antiquated products.
There was also a “Browser War”, and microsoft won that too with there excellent Internet Explorer. It was stable and fast and worked with all the wonderful ActiveX plugins. Once again, Europeans tried to compete with their “Mozilla”, it was slow buggy and only worked on Linux, and wouldnt let you see pictures or use VBScript. To put it bluntly, it was a crock!
Mozilla Firefox, no wonder this browser lost the “war”. Even the newest version of Mozilla (pictured above) lacks standard WWW features such as ActiveX and Microsft Secure Certificates.
Well you probably didnt know that there was a third war – it’s the computer battle where both sides are playing for keeps, only one side is cheating!
The Europeans have figured that they cannot compete on the strength of their technology, so they’ve invented new laws so that they can cheat. The European Union (Like the UN, but stinks of French garlic), has made a law that says Microsoft must pay one-million Euros a day until they strip out all the features from Vista that Linux doesnt have.
For example, Linux does not have an anti-virus utility, a disk-defragmentor or a system repair tool. That’s why Europe will not allow Vista to have these essential tools either. They are even talking about forcing Microsoft to remove Windows Media Player, a truly essential program. Without this utility, the computer would only be able to make simple beeps, and couldnt play any movies. Basically, it would be no better than Linux!
I know it sounds bizarre, but you’ve got to understand the Marxist European mindset. They dont think it’s fair for anybody to be better than anybody else. In a European running-race everybody has to finish first, or else somebody (probably the French) go on strike. It’s just impossible to do business in Europe.
Can your European Linux do this? The new Windows Vista desktop: Linux computers are still burdened with a text-mode interface, wheras Windows Vista has the latest cutting-edge design.
Our original Linux article was all about how these crazy Linuxers are becoming a threat to the American economy, but look at the damage that the Euro-crat linux obsession is doing to their own folk: They have created an environment that is hostile to business, and no longer care that innovation is being stifled. They are denying themselves the spectacular productivity gains of Windows Vista, and they shall pay for their own Godless foolishness.
Yours in Christ,
Tristan J. Shuddery
(Technology & Business Correspondant)
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Here shelley i would answer your challange to come up with a linux System ScreenShot Similar to Vista one:
This is a linux system called fedora and running KDE software as part of its graphical desktop
and here a address of another one
http://enlightenment.sourceforge.net/Enlightenment/Screenshots/DR17_User_Screenshots/_images/screenshot2.png
Tristan, you are such a moron. I am prof of IT…I will not even begin to pick holes in your stupid article, it is tissue of lies. Just to give you one tiny, tiny little clue…the internet currently runs on TCP/IP. It is a published, open standard. Do you know, when you publish things like this, you make yourself look so very ridiculous.
Tristan, until now I didn’t really have a God apart from Michael Moore of course. But now I have seen the light. Can you please send me your picture so I can put it up in a shrine in my yard, build on burnt european computer and auto parts.
I wil worship you until the end of time, and I promise to never listen to a Bob Dylan song ever again.
Hail Tristan.
Dr. B. still gay, but converted Liberal and European nevertheless!
Get your facts right, TCP/IP is not a security system, it is a protocol that the internet runs on. Software cannot cause CPUs to burn out, (unless they are designed by idiot republicans like you ha ha). How is Linux “burdened” with text interfaces, Linux had graphical inteface since when? 1996? ActiveX is proprietary Microsoft-only software, and is prone to virus attacks, so no browser other than IE uses it.
In short, continue your blind Microsoft worshiping, and one day STR.com will be hacked. Just warning ya.
Dear Tristan J. Shuddery,
I’m one of your Damm linux users from europe, and I’m only wanted to introduce you to the real linux software, it has not viruses, it can be run in any pc or laptop (I use one of your USA DELL…) and In it I can see films, play music, etc. just like in Windows.
And the old German conputer was funny, I’m actually in Bonn and they have really high tech machines not like you say.
Anyway I will continue reading your blog it is really interesting for me. I’m trying to understand you.
sorry about my english, I have to learn a bit more.
Thanks,
Miguel
Never argue with an idiot. They will only pull you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
I love your site. It must have the best content on the whole of the web! Keep it up.
Lots of respect – and God Bless America!
Mark
Manchester, UK
Mort de rire … This is hilareous … so many stupid stuff in one single article. I doubted it would be possible. You did it. Congratulations :-D
at first: Tristan you old l337-haxxor ;).
what does tcp/ip stand for ? towelheads-commies protection/intolerance protector ?
btw: if vista will use tcp/ip, what does linux/mac/ect use as protocol for net communication ?
Sch??ne Gr??Ǭ?sse an alle Deutschsprachigen str Fans. Wir sollten mal ein Fanforum Gr??Ǭ?nden.
greetings from the jku in austria. you guys made many students of computer science a day !
A full switchover to TCP/IP on the ARPANET took place January 1, 1983. [Check http://www.livinginternet.com/i/ii.htm (guess on what OS..) So almost three years before Microsoft even introduced their DOS-plugin, called Windows.
I told him that if he upgraded to Vista the virus would be gone. -> maybe, but you would get 1000 times more :)
Tristan, you as Technology & Business Correspondant should at least have opened your computer once. Read what is written on your Intel-CPU (I hope you won’t eventually discover that you have a wicked AMD one :P)
“Even the newest version of Mozilla (pictured above)(….)” the picture shows a netscape (kinda outdated..) for the newest version of Mozilla Firefox, goto http://www.mozilla.org
Ah jeah, and actually, the EU just said that it is illegal to FORCE windows-users to use IE and mediaplayer.. windows really works great without the two of them! Ever heard of freeware :) I propose firefox instead of ie and winamp instead of mediaplayer.. and I hear more than a beep :P
Today’s lesson in classical logic:
“If you don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t believe me, read this review we did a few months back.” is a petitio principii.
It is the same as: God does not exist, because I wrote that God does not exist..
you make yourself look so very ridiculous
-> the tristan way of life : allways try to be more ridiculous. In fact, it may be the str way of life …
TCP/IP as a new security feature … this one enters my top ten absurdity list !
ActiveX and microsoft certificate as www standards … quite funny too !
No defrag’ tool for linux, well they do exist, but for many techincal reasons tristan is probably not able to understand, file fragmentation is a far less important problem under linux than under windows.
Let’s just say linux filesystems smarter than ntfs …
Please do not post too much articles about linux or IT in general : I could get sick laughing about them :-D
You know, I used to work for Microsoft doing tech support to help people remove spyware/viruses/browser hijacks, and our trainers from Microsoft said that with the release of SP2, Winblows would no longer be susceptible to viruses and whatnot….they couldn’t have been more wrong. Sure, patches were included for the Sasser and Blaster worms and a few others, but the spyware got worse, as did the browser hijacks, and even more viruses became a threat. After spending 2 hours helping some poor user clean a bunch of adware and spyware off their machine, I actually told them to download Firefox and use that instead of IE. That stupid job made me go home and love my Mac and my laptop, which runs linux only, even more.
(BTW, linux doesn’t have antivirus software because linux isn’t really affected by viruses…..why is that a bad thing?)
Microsoft’s confidence that Vista will be more secure makes me laugh. And…I think what you’re referring to is the “Next Generation TCP/IP Stack”, but TCP/IP is definitely not something new. Is this what you were referring to?
http://www.microsoft.com/technet/community/columns/cableguy/cg0905.mspx
@STR
Nice editing of my reply. Especially the part where I told Christophe not to take this so seriously since this is comedy at its finest and even more so if the comedy was not intended.
Don’t understand why that part had to go……
OMG, so much stupidity in one article. Hell, I’m no tech genius at all, but even I find most of the errors in your text.
By the way: Just where the hell did you get the picture of the German computer? It’s probably more then 15 years old! My family is not exactly rich, but even we do have three PCs and a lap top in our house and I can tell you that they do NOT look like that at all. Stop comparing German products from the 80s to US American ones from the 21st century. It’s not fair.
God or Lucifer or whoever, bless those equipped with brains!
IMPEACH BUSH!
I think what you?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥re referring to is the ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Next Generation TCP/IP Stack?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?
Yes, you have proven my point. Even Wingnuts kow about this.
Linux and Free BSD also contain a primative ancestor of Microsoft’s modern TCP/IP Stack, however their implementations are more than a decade old – a simple minded attempt to catch up with WinSock. Linux’s answer to TCP/IP is so primative that it does not support modern protocols like NetBUI and NetBIOS. Because of Linux’s primitive obsolete networking it is incompatible with Windows File-Sharing. Your so-called TCP/IP stack does not sound so good now, does it?
Linux and FreeBSD have historically been easy picking for the hordes of foreign hackers who wish to attack our computing infrastructure. Mainly because their “open-source” code means any hacker who can download the non-protected source can work out how to hack it.
Microsoft have wisely taken the decision to re-build this aging technology. They rely on proven “security through obscurity”, literally hiding and encrypting the critical parts of the code so hackers have no chance to find flaws (even if they did exist). Windows Vista will be the most secure operating system ever built, and thats whats upsetting the Linuxers, who just cannot compete with their marxist open-source ideology.
Yours in Christ,
Tristan
Nice! A desktop thread! Here is my ugly text-based desktop from a Gentoo linux with KDE, of course running without the totally new security protocol TCP/IP (rofl)… http://tinyurl.com/nz7ql (brand new =)
But in one thing, and I thinks it’s absolutely the first time, I must agree with you. Firefox is pretty lame. It uses too much CPU time, trashes the memory and is nearly permanently crashing. But I have to use it sometimes because its better supported by many websites than my good old and brave Konqueror.
The browser on your screenshot looks like a Netscape Navigator and I don’t think that Intel CPU’s (i got one, but I#m too lazy to check it now) are assembled in the US ;)
So keep going, I’m amused.
Greetings
Clemens
PS: Ja, ein deutscher STR.com Fanclub w??Ǭßre schon was ^^
by the way did you read about the REPUBLICAN Mark Foley ??
Arg !! Republican are disgusting ! they will all go to hell !!
Oh, silly, silly Tristan. You know nothing of computers, don’t try to make it up. I think you don’t know what a protocol is? By the way, it is NetBeui…Netbios Extended User Interface. But I am only a frog Prof of IT at a prestigious uni, so what would I know. Generally, you do not use Netbeui, oh, why bother to explain, you are such a lunatic.
I could be pedantic and point out your use of English is nearly as poor as your understanding of IT. Give me a call, Sammy knows where I live, I see if I can fit you in one of my classes.
Instead of blindly supporting Windows and claiming that it’s safe by relying on “security through obscurity”, why don’t you use your initiative and try Googling for “security through obscurity” and see just how many articles there are that say it’s a bad idea?
Just for clarity, am I right in saying that all Europeans or Linux users are going to burn in hell? However, just remember what operating system your website used to run on before answering that one. We all makes mistakes, eh …
Ha ha. you have just proven my theory. Bible bashing republicans are a primitive life form, similar but not as advanced as an amoeba
I thought Bush was an amoeba…the one that causes dysentry.
Tristan
Congratulations on your article.
I just found the time to read it all. It’s amazing how you speak the truth. The Europeans are abusing their power to bring American companies down. In my mind they (the Euroland) are now also a likely target for invasion.
On the other hand, let them use their text mode linux, what do I care?
Stupid people on this planet! Very very sad!
S.G
Republican are disgusting , have sex with sixteen years old children …. Republican are insane !!!!!!
Shame on you !!!
Yes, Tristan, never mind that it was almost entirely fact-free…good boy Tristan, Shelley is pleased with you.
Well, there is certainly plenty of room in your mind, it is almost empty. What do you do, pop along and tell Boy George, hey, you have to invade Europe, they keep on making fun of me? Oh, you make us laugh so much.
Still, we crazy liberals have this mad theory that you only do this for spoof, so we forgive you.
are you people retarded? I’m british and it’s all true, we’ll have millions byt the time M$ takes out all the stuff linux doesn’t have, then we’ll attack your computers with a complex tic-tac-toe program, and the world. hahahahahahahhaahahhhaHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahhahHAHAhaHAHAHAHAhaHHAHA, need a breath, one sec…….HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahhahahaaaaaa….
here’s a video of someone using linux:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1iet8MWJr8
see that? superior to windows in every way, and my penis is bigger than yours too.
may god have mercy on your misguided soul.
I love the idea of a fan-forum :) let’s run it on longhorn so we don’t have to fear a crash! :D
Whahahahahaha!!!!
No wonder we call you americans fatty retarded ignorant stupid fucks! Damn you! This is full of ridicule, lies and full of shit!
You guy’s are so funny, I just laughed my ass off!
Oh! Sorry, my language! I can’t say things like shit and fuck..
You stupid republican hypocrites, who dare to call them selfes “christians”…
“Modern protocols like NetBUI, and NetBIOS”, ROTFL!!!! You really did your home work Tristan!
Greetings from Amsterdam ( No! No! Not Danmark! No! That’s freakin Finland! No! That’s Norway! No! No! That’s Spain! Pfff! You stupid Americans don’t know fuck about the world! You live in your own, and stay there )…
Even through lunacy, one can learn something. Thank you!
I found after soing some research on your facts a little tech help tip for you from Microsoft.
Computer Randomly Plays Classical Music
View products that this article applies to.
Article ID : 261186
Last Review : December 20, 2004
Revision : 3.1
This article was previously published under Q261186
SUMMARY
During normal operation or in Safe mode, your computer may play “Fur Elise” or “It’s a Small, Small World” seemingly at random. This is an indication sent to the PC speaker from the computer’s BIOS that the CPU fan is failing or has failed, or that the power supply voltages have drifted out of tolerance. This is a design feature of a detection circuit and system BIOSes developed by Award/Unicore from 1997 on.
MORE INFORMATION
Although these symptoms may appear to be virus-like, they are the result of an electronic hardware monitoring component of the motherboard and BIOS. You may want to have your computer checked or serviced.
For aditional related information, please see the following DFI Technologies Web site:
http://www.dfiusa.com/support/tech-support.html (http://www.dfiusa.com/support/tech-support.html)
Microsoft provides third-party contact information to help you find technical support. This contact information may change without notice. Microsoft does not guarantee the accuracy of this third-party contact information.
In short, because of your lack of knowledge on the subject, thinking that a motherboard BIOS feature was a virus, you cost your client a computer. I hope you have the integrity to replace it at no cost.
Have you noticed, Shelley et al, that apart from your fellow sycophants, you don’t exactly get a lot of people saying ‘wow, STR, they know a thing or two!’? For every supporter, you seem to have about 50 detractors, I am being generous here.
Anyway, it is the weekend, I go now to Antibes in my fine German car and wish you a lovely time. Sammy has the address, so if the Unit could drop by, that would be real nice.
Salut from the Midi
This is an article posted on a Dutch site, but it’s in English. I think all republican retards should view it.
http://dump.geenstijl.nl/mediabase/4673/40d415e8/index.html
Errmm, Tristan, do you know that posting bull**** and showing pictures of totally outdated products won?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t make your article very informing? Because you have so much mistakes in there, it would take weeks to point them all out.
Oh, and Mozilla Firefox works on Windows. I?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•m using Windows XP and Mozilla, you know. (Man, I should use Linux, less viruses than on this rusty thing.)
Sch??ne Gr??Ǭ?sse an alle Deutschsprachigen str Fans. Wir sollten mal ein Fanforum Gr??Ǭ?nden.
Auf jeden Fall! Sagt mir dann bescheid wegen der Adresse.
Yep, Vista will be the most secure one for some months. then every hacker in the world will jump onto it, searching for the breach. And they will find one. Because nothing is perfect. Everything has it?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s flaws. And then Vista will be as insecure as all Windows Versions. Linux on the other hand is ignored by most hackers and viruses, because there are many more Windows PC?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s and thus more targets using Windows. In security terms, Windows is using brute force, Linux is using intelligence.
Congratulations on your article.
I just found the time to read it all. It?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s amazing how you speak the truth. The Europeans are abusing their power to bring American companies down. In my mind they (the Euroland) are now also a likely target for invasion.
For an invasion by who? Because, if anyone invades us, he will get some dozen nukes thrown onto his head for sure. Transforming the USA into a big parking lot, here we go. Oh, and the US Army won?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t stand a chance against all european armies together.
PS: SAM, ARE YOU AND THE UNIT GOING TO GET ME OR NOT? BECAUSE IF YOU DON`T ANSWER, I WILL TAKE IT AS A NO AND CALL YOU A FAG FROM NOW ON! Oh, and it?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s weekend, so i will be in southern bavaria, Sam. You know the adress, don??ɬºt you??ɬº (I gave it to you, remember?)
The German Guy
IMPEACH BUSH!
And shoot Bill Gates for that abomination called Windows!
Maybe the solution for your ignorance is read abit more….all this sucks..
Tristan, you shouldn’t talk about things you don’t know…and it seems that you don’t know nothing about that funny colored box, called personal computer, that you are using just now.
By the way here is is another video which show how Linux is far more innovative than your beloved (and quite useless to us all) windows vista.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ih1TYQ_Ut-A
Just try to look for keywords like xgl, aiglx, compiz, beryl. You will see what vista will never show you.
i always ask who is possible that you can writ this kind of shit, i guess you do this:
Sudo unmount /mnt/brain/
Then you can say: ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Vista includes an all-new sercurity system called TCP/IP which will no doubt stump foreign hackers for years.?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?
Wow! TCP/IP is a new security system? I sort of though it was a protocol on which the very internet we use relies on. By the way the TCP/IP stack that all versions of Windows use is based on code that came from BSD, Microsoft even acknowledges this in accordance with the license BSD is released under. Also, Mozilla Fire Fox runs on many operating systems, including Windows, and renders pages just as well as IE in any instance I’ve encountered (for a high tech one such as myself it’s probably one-thousand times as much experience as the average joe or Billy Bob Neck). This very post was done from Mozilla on a Windows computer. (unfortunately (the windows part, not the mozilla part))
You site is so full of BS I have given it’s very own post in my blog, if you ever care to take a gander.
hang on hang on…
what about UBUNTU christian edition!? whats your opinion on that!?
http://www.whatwouldjesusdownload.com/christianubuntu/2006/07/about-ubuntu-christian-edition.html
hmnn
There is no such command as Sudo nor there is unmount. Little typos in an otherwise good theory :)
in a few years google would have released thier own flavor of linux known now as gubuntu a variation of the very succsesful ubuntu and bill gates will close down m$ and find something better to do and we will enter the new era named the era of google.
You are so full of crap. This new and all windows system are just for convenience not for anything else. It will go down the drain as everything thats gets old and chokes on itself. The problem is that they are not secure at all and dont write about security issues as you dont know shit about that matter either…
I just hope it does go south fast, just as the the republicans in your country.
I love this stuff you write! Keep it up Shelley! Combined with the replys this site is a magnificent peace of reflective performance art.
Its Great !!! You are inspirated !
btw. WTF are you smoking ?
Wait wait… did I miss something? maybe i’m just too used to giving ppl the benefit of the doubt, but that was the funniest article i’ve ever read in my life. anyone with the least bit of common sense and computer skills would immediately realize that the article was a joke…
Upgrade to Vista??? Um, Dude, I hate to break it to you, but unless you have a LEGAL Beta version (By the way, only LEGALLY available to MS developers), that is simply not possible. Plus it would make you an evil, commie, God hating person if you gave it to your buddie (ask Bill). We all know that sharing electronic info is BAD! By the way, how did you come across the Vista dvd? Did somebody, perhaps you, download it from a (Gasp) P2P site? You sir, are NO WHERE CLOSE TO BEING A DEVELOPER !!! So fess up, You are a pirate! Plus a Moron!
People who gave away a whole bunch of their money to help people who really oughta be helping themselves instead having handouts forced on them ain’t got no bidness calling other people morons.
And if you read the whole article you’d see that Mr. Shuddery is our “Technology & Business Correspondant” and as a member of the press gets access to a whole passel of toys and gadgets before they’re release to the general public.
I got the feeling that you’re more of Gates of Hell kinda guy than a Gates of Heaven kinda guy!
(Can I get a amen?!)
Tristan,
Thank you for being a balanced voice, one of very few out in the as-yet unregulated internet. The guys in our IT department have been trying to slip this whole Linix thing into our company for years now, and I’m going to have a good time forwarding this to them. I found out that they have some of the servers running that operating system, but they *still* haven’t been able to get rid of that text screen, or their european pony-tails and sandals. It’s an insult in a modern buseness like ours. I’ll have to look into that TCP-IP thing and recommend that they update soon.
As for those eropeans, so hostile and quick to lash out. Maybe if they took the time to ponder your words before going into a tiz, but big words like “irony” or “god” seem lost on them.
Remember; you get what you pay for, and with Windows you get a *lot*.
hey moron. I just wanted to say my xhtml running on my LINUX server and desktop… validates this windows thing you have… well your xhtml doesn’t validate… you might want to fix that… especially if you your _HINT_ advertising it.
Tristan,
A couple of mistakes in your “article” that people who have posted previous to this have been nice enough to not point out.
About that foreign made CPU- AMD is based in Sunnyvale California and has a huge Camups in Texas (you know, YOUR president’s home state).
GNU/Linux was created by a Finnish graduate student, but it is owned by no one, and every one. The largest Linux company in the world Red Hat, is based in North Carolina, that would be in the USA.
To all Europeans that have read or responded to this blog- I apologize, not all Americans are like Tristan. Many of us beleive that Bush stole the elections in 2000 and 2004 http://www.cio.com/blog_view.html?CID=21093
and the Republicans are trying to steel the internet http://news.com.com/2100-1028_3-6081882.html, we also beleive Iraq is a war about oil that like Vietnam, we will lose.
Tristan- Who writes your material, Robin Williams?
P.S.- Very hot picture of the chick in the chastity belt in your previous post!
Tristan! Brilliant! I love your article – it deserves the utmost attention from the American public. I wish you had a link to digg to help spread your Inspired wisdom. Here is a very scary thought though – I’ve heard that the Godless commie Europeans are actually putting this Linux into cell phones and pda’s! I’ll bet that poor Foley was using one of these and he got torpedoed by a dirty European. I’m sure he didn’t have anything to do with those text messages from his LINUX cellphone/pda whatever. This is obviously a vast and subtle plot to undermine the security and supremacy of America. Who knows what they have put in the linux phones we are buying from them! Scary!!
Well I’ve got to go pray.
Yours in Christ,
The Mad Alchemist
PS. I hope everyone here, especially those that are ragging on you out the most remarkable and complete ignorance imaginable, remembers the most famous saying of the most brilliant marketer ever, PT Barnum. Google it you lazy, stupid, narrow-minded, uptight, EuroLinuxian Commies!
Haha, it’s so pathetic how people keep treating this seriously.
OMFG, i don’t even know where to begin, you are either making fun of people, or just really really stupid. i’m not going to start explaining things to you because it would be a waste of time. just go play hide an fsck yourself.
April Fool! Bit early or late but entertaining all the same.
Thanks
Btw I still run Windows v1.0-Public Release, so am unable to run Vista. Can you help?
Obviously…ignorance is bliss…(did George Bush ghost-write this article???).
To Iraq and back: Soldier uses Linux in war and peace
In 2003 and 2004, Jeff Schroeder served in the Iraq war, flying a tiny remote control spy plane and servicing Unix and Linux systems on the battlefield. Schroeder learned a lot of technology in the desert, and now that his time in the Army is over, he’s busy working as a Web administrator for Comair Airlines, and writing utility scripts for Ubuntu, his favorite distribution. He believes Linux is going to “take over the world.”
A high school teacher introduced Shroeder to Linux in 1999. “It was in networking class,” he says. “I had a guy who was a big Linux zealot, and he was like, ‘This is the next big thing.’ I deeply respected this guy.” Schroeder took him seriously and started playing around with Red Hat at home.
In 2001 he enlisted in the Army as an Unmanned Aerial Vehicle Operator, a.k.a. 96U. “I flew a remote control spy plane called the Shadow 200,” Schroeder says. When he was deployed to Iraq in 2003, he was happy to find that, even in the desert, Linux would still be a big part of his life.
The Shadow is a Tactical Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (TUAV) that performs surveillance using a liquid nitrogen-cooled camera. Operators run the plane from a ground control station that is a retrofitted Humvee loaded with a bank of computers running the Solaris operating system and “locked-down” Java apps. The Shadow sends pictures and video back to a ruggedized laptop video terminal that runs a custom version of Red Hat 9 Linux. “The laptop connects to a little directional antenna that tracks the plane,” Schroeder says. “There were always problems with [the laptops],” and since Schroeder knew Linux, he was called on to detect and fix those problems. “The contractors the military hired weren’t very Unix-savvy,” he says.
Schroeder says that the military effort in Iraq is laced with technology that makes use of open source software. One example is the Army’s Land Warrior program, in which soldiers will be “wired” with special embedded Linux computers that allow them to communicate with each other and track enemy locations.
Now that Schroeder is a civilian again, he says he is glad to have had the opportunity to serve his country and pick up some great skills at the same time, using his Army training as a stepping stone in his career as a Web administrator for Comair, a regional airline based in Cincinnati, Ohio. Schroeder oversees the operation of about two dozen application servers and a cluster of Apache servers, and he also performs day-to-day Unix and Linux systems administration.
In his spare time, Schroeder helps people install Linux on their computers. He’s a big fan of Ubuntu. “I used Fedora before,” he says, “and still use it for servers. But all of my desktops are running Ubuntu.” To make Ubuntu even better, Schroeder’s written several utility scripts, including a popular snippet he calls Faster Dapper. “I like things to be a little faster,” he says. “I wrote the script for myself.” Faster Dapper enables certain features of Ubuntu, such as preload, a daemon that analyzes file usage patterns and preloads the apps you use the most, and Faster Dapper disables lots of services that are enabled by default. “Bluetooth stuff,” he says. “I don’t use that on my laptop. It takes two seconds to load that daemon. If there are, say, 14 services loading that you don’t need…”
Schroeder also created a script called Pretty Dapper that automatically sets up his preferred theme and desktop icons, and Secure Dapper, which results in “basic system hardening.” He says that he plans soon to port Faster Dapper to Fedora and openSUSE. Examples of Schroeder’s work are available at his Web site, digitalprognosis.com
Is this for real or is this a good piece of comedy?
If it’s for real, I feel very worried about the USA.
If we could see the windows source code – lets see what M$ have stolen/ripped off from everyone else ! God bless online communism
Wow. Nice article, perfectly tailored to the intelligence of your audience, judging from the comments.
Fine reminder that betting on the stupidity of people has rarely caused anyone to go broke.
Yet again an article of brilliance – if I couldn’t see the funny side I’d probably be seething and whining like the rest of the linux advocates out there – but luckily I have a sense of humour.
Keep it up
Hm, what is really happening is that so-called new products are forced upon us and we have to pay for things we already had before or that we do not really need. So we start looking at a better quality/price ratio. So now we prefer Mozilla and even Linux is gaining ground here.
I will not spend a buck on Vista or whatever new Microstuff comes out since I did that too many times without getting much in return.
Holy Shit!
God Save America.
Freeze!This is BSD Police!
Stop this Shit Immediately!
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE, YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED!
Mwoahahahahaha….
I truly hope this is intended to be funny. For those great graphics that Vista won’t support in the Basic edition, try XGL and Compiz. No charge. How about all those successful small IT business who can build a great computer for any customer, customize to the customers needs, with little or no capital outlay, and include all the applications they could need. Only Linux offers a business person that opportunity. We all know small business is the engine which drives the economy. Just a thought.
Tom
I would say M$ is the one that it cheating. Because Linux is already superior in nearly everything they try to change the laws and stuff to declare it illegal.
How could Open Source cheat? Everything is open!
Your whole article is crap!
dear bible basher…
you must have worked at microsoft sometime in yor life because all this is pure propaganda!! mayb use ur time more constructively and write about things you actually have CORRECT info about
until then keep to the bible =>
Excellent article, Tristan. Here is your reward:
http://hippieplace.tripod.com/TrollKing.jpg
Damn. The image is protected by “referer”. How about this one: http://www.browsersfantasyart.com/JeffImages/Troll%20King6.jpg
Can Vista do this?
http://members.home.nl/mtmd/cuben.png
Tritan,
This is fantastic stuff! I am rolling on the floor laughing hysterically. As if the article alone wasn’t funny enough, the blathering idiotic rants (feedback) it has generated really take the cake. Ah, the comedy of idiocy.
Cheers,
Winston
Tristan, thank you very much for posting this. I do appreciate all your subtle sense of humor (TCP/IP, F??Ǭ?r Elise). You alwys make my day with this great comedy. Ever considered a professional career?
Just hearing a German “Lord of the Ring” MP3 on my Japanese laptop running SUSE Linux.
Remember; you get what you pay for, and with Windows you get a *lot*.
Yeah, a lot of trouble and sorrows. =)
The German Guy
Arrest Bill Gates! Windows is a crime against humanity!
Oh, and IMPEACH BUSH!
Tritan,
I see that you opened up a hornets nest with your comedy of errors. I to would have blacked out my name on the MCSE papers that you showed. I would be extremely embrassed to be associated with this type of incompetence.
This article is humorous, but not great writing. If you wish to continue as writer find a subject that’s less taxing on the gray matter (cooking comes to mind or even knitting).
You make me sick in general. I have been a Christan for many years and you are part of what is wrong with the world. YOU are from satin. Your support of a President with his mind on set on world domination. I hate you. I hate this country. and I hate that i have to live here. More freedoms are being taken away because of people like you. Our rights to live our life in peace has been taken away by our government. So much apathy in this, and all your crap. You and other right-wingers are every where and is the reason why we have an idiot for a President. This is why corruption is in all levels of the government. And I HATE IT WHEN OTHER COUNTRIES SEE US LIKE WE SAW THE NAZIS!!! You, and your support of this president is what caused this. Our freedom is under attack but not from over seas but right here by the current administration. I can’t afford 400 for Vista so I am kinda screwed. This is why I choose free. I choose free because that is my God given right.
I want to be free. But for right now I will settel with my software and I almost don’t care what you think. and almost any response you could give me would just make me throw my self in front of a car. I would suggest you stop this blog and stop this hate. Because people like me can’t stand you. You are …. forget it. I imagine you could care less. It’s why you do what you do
You’re either an idiot or a man with a nice sense of humor. I hope you’re the latter. Have a nice day.
Congrats Shelley!
This is an absolutelly brilliant Linux promotion!!
Keep up the good work!!!
You are right about Linux!
One time, I tried to start it up, and it told me it was conjuring a Daemon!
I shut it off and reinstalled Windows Vista (RC1 is out).
Ok, I think I will stop laughing in an hour or so. I read both articles about Linux being a threat and this one. Tristan, I hope you will receive a Darwin award sometime soon. It’ll be better for all of us. Why not posting a picture of the “state-of-the-art” ENIAC for god’s sake. Get a life, and get a real OS :D
You’re such a dork… At least TRY to get your faq’s straight before you go out on a limb like that…
Jesus preached the Gospel, fed the poor and redeemed the lost. You are schilling for the richest man in the world, in my opinion and fail to see the true Christianity at work in the Linux Movement.
Tens of thousands of Developers, who have the God given gift to understand computing, give away their efforts to everyone. This feeds the poor, does it not? It provides an avenue to redeem those that need information to make better decisions with, who can afford it the least. Shall these people not be first?
You and I both understand the Gospel, the Good news that God gave his only begotten Son to save us from sin, to have everlasting life with God through the sacrifice of his Son. Once again, for legions of people blessed by God, with unique talents and abilities bestowed upon them by God, to selflessly give away their efforts, that is OF God. You are on very thin ground here, theologically, and I hope that you pray for guidance. It IS God’s work in action. Be very very careful. What goes around always comes around.
I leave you to God to judge. Repentance, at this point, may be in order. I pray you consider the true meaning of what Linux has been about since the beginning… a simple Gift. It has never been about a price of wages. When you bring the price of wages as a topic into the Temple, Jesus shall kick you out. Rev. Ric
if you have any network gear running in your house (DSL Modem, Router, SWitch)
90% chances the netgear runs a linux based distro
Hi, Shelly you have to be on drugs or something; i cannot believe the level of ignorance of this people, you really think that linux is a threat to American Economy JAJAJA …. well i cannot argue with you, probably brainwashed for the Bush(Just a Puppet of the really bad Companies Like MS) goverment, by the way here is the Windows Vista killer, this is how your really make Software http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xgl
This article must be a joke – surely!!!
If not, then you need to read more widely than the marketing blurb, and definately get chatting with a few more people, particularly Europeans.
Hi, Shelley, so good to read your screed. I have a technical question for you, which, being a good, helpful American, you will be able to answer. I have been charged with the design of the Fully Automatic Nuclear Powered Self Propelled Nose Picker, the first truly civilian use of nuclear power and it’s All American. Its primary purpose is to keep politicians’ noses clean, no matter where they have been. I was thinking, as was my senior engineer, that we’d have it Internet-connected and use Windows ME to run it, being fully patriotic Americans and not inclined to use anything not blessed by your patriotic selves.
Do you think Bill Gates will allow us to use Windows ME at a friendly cut rate? Or do we have to upgrade – whatever that means – to Windows Vista?
Dear Tristan,
What a great, clearifying article.
I think we now need your opinion on MP3: it’s invented by Europeans (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MP3), which must make it bad. On top of that, MP3 is taking away money from god loving americans.
I’m so glad Microsoft is trying to replace the open, thus bad, MP3 by it’s beautiful DRM-ed WMA.
“all-new sercurity system called TCP/IP”….
“”state of the art?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? German made computer”….
Keep up the good work!
oh no!
can t be possible to be stupid like that!
oh, tristan please:
BUY A COMPUTER!
READ BOOKS!
do something, I don’t know, It’s horrible to see that people can be as ignorant about computer like you.
(And about Vista: Vista is already obsolete… Why would I buy an unsecure system like that???)
Tristan should become a comedy writer.
I was really laughing my ass off…
Tristan –
Why would Jesus support Microsoft (Bill Gates foundation – World population control / big time abortionist) over Linux (free / non-coercive)? Do you think Jesus overlooks what his foundation espouses just because Gates lines the pockets of Republican politicians? C’mon, you can’t be serious.
Dude, if you know only a little bit of what he’s talking about you’d see he’s only making one thing ridiculous and that one thing is Microsoft ;-)
Assuming you are perfectly serious, I am suddenly very ashamed to think of myself as Republican, if anything for the ignorance you, Mr. Shuddery.(Incidentally, your name appears to be a pseudonym that a 19th century satire novelist in Britain might have employed, but I digress). Then again, a Windows and Linux-using, half-European but American born, Catholic woman such as myself probably wouldn’t be welcomed into your fold of Republicanism anyway, so my shame probably means nothing.
In addition to the absurd technical errors and ingorant assumptions made about European and American technology, I have to say that as many have said above, the internet and many of the information systems we take for granted do not run off of Windows. Yes, personal computers are monopolized by Microsoft, but millions of servers and databases here in the United States are Linux or quite simply, not Windows based. And everyone, from President Bush to you and I benefit from and use these systems regularly. Want to know one of the biggest ones?
Google.
I don’t think Linux is for everyone, but I do believe that the Antichrist or destruction of America is NOT contained within it. And in our land of freedom, we certainly should have the freedom to choose how we access the free speech we have a Constitutional right to: books, radio, internet, or television.
Miss A.P.
Oh, God! I haven’t seen so much stupidity and ignorance for a long time and would take a much longer time to correct all the mistakes in your two articles. And saying that forcing someone to use win is a victory for Jesus reminds me of the inquisition. But probably you haven’t heard about such a thing (it was long before Windows, ha-ha), so i’ll make another example: imagine that arab terrorists would make an operating system and the ones who are not using it are killed. What a victory for Allah! hahahaaaaaaaaaaa. Anyway, don’t you ever use linux: linux is for intelligent people.
Nice touch to block Netcraft on reporting on what your site is running,”
We have been requested not to report on the site http://www.shelleytherepublican.com.”
Make sure people don’t know about Ubuntu Christian Edition ;-)
http://os.newsforge.com/article.pl?sid=06/09/25/1426248&tid=2&tid=31
Ma baiete… esti dus rau tare. :)
Dear Tristan,
first of all I wanted to thank you for you excellent article. I am a computer scientist myself and -sadly I have to admit – that- am a European! You made me reflect a lot, because what you say is so true, and I would like to let you know that not all Europeans are attracted to this local stone-age-technology. I really do admire the progressive American way of advancing technology while truthfully adhering to His commandments.
But, as you said, I know many compatriots from Germany, who have “tried” their hands on Linux. Imagine that! Would you “try” Linux, “try” drugs or “try” suicide? Of course only once…? Needless to say, they all failed miserably. Linux has no power point, no photoshop, no frontpage, no media player, no games like american army – there are millions of examples of software that does not run on linux because it is really out-of-date in its technology.
Yes, linux is antique: It uses technology which has been obsolete for decades. The main concept was developed in the 1960s! Who would go to a dentist with sixtieth equipment or fly on a plane from that era? A certain degree of insanity is required for such madness.
But not all Europeans are communistic fanatics. I am part of a quiet minority (due to the lack of Freedom of Speech here in Germany). We worship Microsoft, the American company which earned the title market leader in operating systems and look forward to Visa, the securest and finest operating system ever forged. Out chancellor Merkel sympathizes with president Bush. If you ever need it: We are your bridge head in Europe, and we will prevail!
In deep adoration,
Gerhard Markus
You are a gold plated tit Sir. And yes I am european, uk or Great Britain, if you actually know where that is or London if you don’t.
GET A LIFE
You’re right Tristan, let’s drop the bomb on these european bastards !
Namel and Facel Ess do you know what is a deamon? it is a process that is running in your system doing something useful while you are doing something else. for example, oper task manager…ctrl-alt-canc and select procesess…you’ll see all deamons actually on your windows system…oh my God, a communist had entered and broken my pc!!
Tristan, do you know what TCP/IP means? It is a communication protocol, nothing more. Everyone on the net communicate using TCP/IP protocol, sometimes UDP protocol, but TCP/IP is the most used. do you know what is a communication protocols?rules for communication, nothing more.
It is part of a system open, don’t you understand this concept?
I’ve tried windows vista: nothing more than windows xp…you can pay more attention to images, but the system is still the same, still not good for a good programmer.
linux doesn’t have an antivirus program because more viruses enter into your system using ActiveX technology. This isn’t necessary in linux, so linux is more secure.
linux doesn’t have a disk-defragmentor tool because it isn’t necessary: the file system EXT directly allocates memory in the right way, so you don’t have to reallocate memory in a second time…you can do this, but it is an unuseful procedure.
You are a liar, every system has a repair tool, I use linux to understand what goes wrong on my laptop because windows doesn’t allow me to see all like I want. and I can say that with linux I find and repair the error in a few minutes…with windows I can try to understand what happened for hours!!!
Mozilla, Opera are examples of web browser better than Internet Explorer. If you have tried them you should think the same. Microsoft doesn’t give me the choise: it provides IE, even if it is a bad program. I can’t unistall them, they are in the system, I don’t want them, but I can’t remove them. This is crazy!!
I can say the same using Media Player…it crash every five minutes, it doesn’t recognize my songs, I spent more time downoloading codec than using the player…now with I-tunes I have no problem
I use linux, I can use shell, I can type commands and if you are a programmer you should type your commands, it is the faster system.
if you see two desktop one with linux and another one with windows you can’t find the difference…if you try to use the RIGHT linux system you will never use windows again.
if you’ve never really tried something, how can you say it is bad?
and if you are the technical expert…poor us, you are the most incompetent technical expert I’ve ever met. please go back to school and learn something.
You guys relise that this is all a joke right? No one who is so simple minded could make such good clip art. Think about it. This site is for a joke, Don’t get all pissed off.
Are you serious? How many people are going to validify the obviousness of a nonsense article like this. Obviously Shelly didn’t care about the on coming comments before he even fathomed the idea to write this mess! This typifies the way Americans think, and I’m guilty. We focus at the wrong time on the wrong stuff. It’s obvious this guy doesn’t know either system he’s dealing with. Either that, or this was a joke article created and aimed to manufacture confusion amongst the masses in which it is doing quite perfectly. It also bleamishes the name of Jesus. As A Christian, I cant call a guy like this my brother at all!
Unless he was joking, and he personally admits he was joking. And even then the people who insulted will have to accept his appology. Anyway. Dont call me. Call God!
Thanks for this very entertaining article. I was laughing my pants off! I don’t mind being mocked.
A European.
WHY ARE YOU SO STUPI,WHY GOD DAMN IT?
I remove my hat & bow to you, GOD BLESS the Republicans.
Life would be so serious without them!! LOLOLOLOLO!!!!
This is a fine article, thanks you!
Signed
Linux communist
Tristan,
congratulations. You managed to prove again, how stupid you are.
I hope you’ll get a big rod up your christian ass.
Hilarious– thanks for the laugh. I keep reading this one. :)
Everyone, please read the Terms and Conditions of this blog before you post….you will learn alot!
Surely this is a joke?
It can’t be real?
It’s got to be satire, right? No one is this stupid?
OMG! You are a total riot! I just read your “Terms and Conditions” page, figuring that this had to be satirical. I was right!
And, BTW, you’re wrong. Al Qaeda doesn’t own Linux. Finland doesn’t own Linux. The French have overtaken Linux. They own it now. They are the ones funding Al Qaeda with it and are the ones attacking God from their headquarters in the City of Mandriva. We should immediately launch a crusade against the God-Forsaken pinko Linux-using French and nuke them IMMEDIATELY!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Oooh, better yet, have the Evil Soviet Empire do it. No, I don’t care that some people say it doesn’t exist. That’s just a Marxist plot to try to get You, my fellow Americans, to go soft. Friends, don’t let them tempt you!
DOWN WITH COMMIE LIBERALS–er, LINUXERALS! DOWN WITH THAT CALIFORNIA HIPPIE LINUS TORVALDS! (Remember, Oregon is just the northern part of California; it’ll fall into the sea with the rest of that pinko so-called “state”.) It’ll make it easier to import the cheap Chinese goods that we all HAVE THE RIGHT to keep right on buying, Dad-Gummit!
GO MICROSOFT…GO INTEL…GO AMERICA!! YEEEAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Almost as stupid as the other article about Linux :D
Tristan, you are a stupid ignorant and you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Unless this weblog is a fake. If it is, you are not funny.
I think, that Shelley and the others ain’t no fool (notice the Iron Maiden quote :) – fucking Englanders, pffff :)
By the way, i am a true European and i am using Linux and don’t use MS Windows and i know what TCP/IP is. ( I hope, that i won’t burn in Hell beacause of these things :)
Good day!
WTF?!?!
You’ve just deleted what i really said!
The truth hurts :)
Hey fuckers! Try to put a blindfold on my eyes!!! HAHAHA!
This whole webpage is all wrong. Real christians (like me) use linux at home, because they don’t need the fancy graphical interface. The satanic design of Windows’s GUI only tries to fool the people, and cover the godless win32 kernel.
God bless LINUX. God bless the real kernel. God bless the real christians.
And Shelley and Tristan, I know you are true christians, because your server is still running linux, the true operating system. :)
what a jackass author!! i couldn’t believe reading this crap article. jesus must be turning over in his sleep, non-stop. i even scrolled all the way to the top of this webpage to see if this was some kind of humor portal.
it seems like america has lots of shitheads too…
ram
malaysia
And we – true christians, linux users – don’t need TCP/IP, because GOD WILL SAVE US.
Another god freak – spare me please! It’s hard to fathom the incredulity of some American politicians. Those of us in Europe with a deep seated “like” of America are constantly beaten down by this senseless diatribe. Your country’s corporate greed, supported by your policies, has turned you into the antithesis of what you once stood for, and you are now repeatedly abusing the privilege that your population have bestowed upon you with their vote.
Oh, and you real christians would be out in the streets giving alms and taking in the poor instead of running Linux.
Shame on you all!
Ehh!
I can’t believe, that everybody is so blind and stupid here!
Why can’t you understand the aim of that site?
They’re just liars. They want every American to become a machine, who can’t think.
If you can’t understand that, then read Orwell’s 1984. I hope you’ll notice the paralelism with STR.
And please notice the irony in some comments too!
cs??Ǭ? k??cs??g??k!
Whats wrong on linux ?!?!
I think you just say IT IS AN EUROPEAN…
European = Wrong ??? :-D
Linux is better than ******** Windows !!!
Your comments are charged with hate and write a lot of lies.
Do wou know that Mozilla is a U.S. Company?
Do you know that TCP/IP is a communication protocol?
How can Republicans believe you?
These are clearly the latter stages of complete insanity. I wonder if the person who wrote this S H I T E is a self harmer. I believe the sole purpose of this article is to drive an anger frenzy through the linux community. I think whoever wrote this was high on crack cocaine whilst sucking their daddy’s U KNOW WHAT!!!
I thank the Lord in my prayers every night that there are good God fearing Christians like you, Shelley, protecting us.
I have a friend (well, he was a friend) who put Lunix into his computer. It had a picture of a penguin on it – not a beautiful scene of the Lord’s work like the one above. As soon as I looked in the penguin’s eyes I knew that the “penguin” is just another manifestation of the Prince of Darkness, and that Lunix is surely his work. It was full of viruses too. As soon as he clicked on any of the little pictures on his screen, programs started. Obviously the viruses were stopping the proper double click from working.
When he went on the internet using “Firefox” (surely properly called Devilfox) none of the normal popups for those wonderful services offered by American free enterprise were there! And instead of being frightened and calling on the name of the Lord for help, he seemed pleased, and expected me to be impressed!
Well – I can tell you – that person is no longer my friend, though I pray every night for his soul – right after I thank the Lord for Microsoft.
Lunix is truly the Devil’s work. God bless you
Let me summarize this:
Windows XP Home is for the everday computer user.
Windows XP Pro is for the computer professional.
Windows NT is for the website hoster and network professional.
Windows Vista is for programmers (currently).
Mac OS X is for gays and metrosexuals.
Linux is for perverts and terrorist killers who do everything just not supporting America!
GOT IT???
what about qnx, menuetos, skyos and unununium?
What about RISCOS, ReactOS, Plan9, Solaris, *BSD, OS/2?
Please answer, Shelley.
what do you mean by “terrorist killers”?
Shelley, I use Windows XP Pro, Mac OS X and Linux, so am I a gay professional terrorist? :’)
BTW I’m using Internet Explorer for UNIX right now. http://www.microsoft.com/unix/ie/
What a pen*s.
Too funny, great satire. TCP/IP as security feature, ingenious!
o.k. so this is pretty funny. Obviously Tristan has no clue about computers or software or how it all works. I think this site is just intended as a joke cause it’s pretty obvious Tristan has no clue what she’s talking about.
I’m a republican and a christian and I use Windows XP, Server 2003, Linux and MAC OSX. I use what I need for the job I need to do. I am MCSE certified and I have been into computers for over 20 years.
The reality is, that MAC, Linux and Unix are far superior to Windows but Windows got the market and users are too stuck in their ways to change. If you ask me I would be happy to start supporting MAC’s as apposed to Windows boxes… they are much more reliable and have much less problems not to mention little to NO spyware/viruses. Linux is great I have a Linux server at my house that has been running strong for a couple of years now. :-)
Tristin all I can say is do more research/homework and learn more about what your commenting on cause your coming across as a fool. Also, please quit giving christians a bad name. It’s people like you that turn others away from Christ.
LOL!
- “Vista includes an all-new sercurity system called TCP/IP which will no doubt stump foreign hackers for years.”
NOTE: Created by DARPA in the early 1970s. TCP/IP (Transmission Control Protocol / Internet Protocol) is no more then a common network protocol that makes Internet possible. Not a all-new sercurity system, Tristan. LOL LOL!
——————————————————
- “A client of mine had a Linux computer which had a virus called ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Fur Elise?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? which caused the computer to play random melodies through it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s speaker.”
NOTE: “Fur Elise” is played by Damage Free Intelligence (D.F.I.), a warning feature on some motherboards tells you someting is wrong with your hardware like CPU, Heatsink/Fan or Power Supply.
(More info about the feature here http://www.dfiusa.com/support/music.htm)
Could it have been his Heatsink/Fan that was failing. Tristans clients computer was giving warnings, but Tristan didn’t understand so it went fried. His like Homer Simpson on the nuclear plant. LOL LOL LOL!
——————————————————
- “Once again, Europeans tried to compete with their ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Mozilla?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?, it was slow buggy and only worked on Linux, and wouldnt let you see pictures or use VBScript.
NOTE: Fact – Mozilla was established in July 2003 with start-up support from America Online’s Netscape division.
http://www.mozilla.org/press/mozilla-foundation.html
——————————————————
- “Can your European Linux do this? The new Windows Vista desktop: Linux computers are still burdened with a text-mode interface, wheras Windows Vista has the latest cutting-edge design.”
NOTE: Ooohh yes it can! It allready can and a lot lot lot more that Vista won’t be able too next year when released. If you really want’t to know what Linux can, TODAY, take a look here:
http://www.linuxedge.org/?q=node/55
Love you Tristan. Once again you have made me laugh out loud!
Tristan wrote:
“Linux?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s answer to TCP/IP is so primative that it does not support modern protocols like NetBUI and NetBIOS. Because of Linux?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s primitive obsolete networking it is incompatible with Windows File-Sharing.”
It seems that you don’t know anything about you are speaking of. At first NetBEUI and also NetBIOS (sometimes called WINS) are obsolete in Microsoft products since Win 2000. They are still in Windows, but only for backward compatibility. At second point you are liar or you never haven’t seen Linux. Linux has grafical GUI since 1992 based on XFree86 and now is usualy used X.org. In latest version of main distributions is feature called XGL which supports 3D desktop graphical enviroment. Yes, yes, very similar to Vista’s one. Another part of all main Linux distributions is project called Samba which implements Windows-like filesharing. It also can be joined to Windows domain or can stand for primary domain controller. Btw, do you know hat PDC is, you “compuper expert”? It works with Active Directory also. Btw, many Linux projects and Linux itself are developed by US companies like IBM, RedHat, Sun Microsystems, HP and so on. At last I’d like to say that you are also misinformed about European computers. May be you were missing on some lessons of geography at school, but Europe also called “The Old Continent” isn’t Africa. In Africa they usually have no computers (except some countries). In Europe we have exactly same computers as you can buy in US. For example my 3 years old computer is AMD Barton 2500+ with three 160GB HDD’s, 1GB RAM, 5.1 channel SB-Live! soundcard and 19″ ADI monitor. I also have another 1GHz AMD Athlon computer with 80GB HDD as a Linux server at home, one 1GHz AMD Duron computer with 80GB HDD for rest of the family and at least my HP notebook with 1,3 Celeron for work. So are you still thinking that we Europeans are so out of date?
I hope, not all americans are idiots like author of this blog, otherwise God with us.
[...] This guy is so clueless that I thought he must surely be a liberal-spun parody created with intent to poke fun at the extreme right. Nope, he’s the real deal, and he may just be dimwitted enough to rival the infamous Tuttle city manager. I vote they battle it out… [...]
This blog is very good:)
bullshit!
Until now I wasn’t sure whether author is seriuos or not. Now I’m pretty sure, because it’s just suffused with God’s light!
So keep going!
Greeting from Czech Republic (for Tristan – Europe)
Only one thing: do you know what operating system runs on WWW server that serves this page = your page? To be sure you know what I am talkong about, this web page is served by some computer and on that computer is running some operating system….
Hint: it is not your wonderful american god-blessed windows….to your luck, because it would be hacked instantly :)
Hm, point one: How can you compare computer 15 years old and todays computers?
Point two: Linux does not have defragmenting utility, because it does not fragment. It does not need antivirus system, there are not viruses for linux. (Well, you can download these if you really think you need them, so it is not a true they do not exist).
Point three: How dare you say that EU smells of french garlick! I’m from Czech republic and we have our own garlic!
Point four: The thing with VBasic – is it really wise to run any script that can do anything with your computer just when you enter some unknown page? There is where you get the viruses..
Point five: Why you need Media Player to play sound? Do you think it is Media Player that plays the cracking noise when an error message appears? No, it is not. And there are other music and video players. They did not say they can not have the system with it, they said they must allow user who buys it to choose if he wants it there or not. Did you try to remove the thing (or Outlook, MSN messager) because some other program that does the same suits you more and this one just takes space?
IExplore again: Not working. Write a page with is well formated according to standards and you have 50% that IE will be the only browser that can not show it correctly.
And about your american economy – well, Microsoft threats ours so – we are square here, no? ;-)
Can I give you a advise? Start writing cartoons. Because people _laugh_ when they read this.
Tristan,
many thanks for this article – this is the best joke which I’v seen last year.
If I may advice something, please, start with stupid sentences in the half of article, it increases enjoyment of readers…
Jan
vista = waste of time…
& you’re
Yeah, we have such knowing person like mr. Tristan J. Shuddery in Czech Republic too:-). He also likes writing coat-trailings about Linux. Salute, JXD!
stupid americans
Dear Tristan,
you should already know that lie is sin.
Internet is full of articles that will explain you what Linux realy is and than you should delete every word you have written here.
Your onco
P.S.:If everyone were like you,the Earth would be destroyed.
Tristan, you’re only a crazy diseased man!
I think that your IT articles are only made for making people switching to linux, becouse no inteligent uman being can trust to your leggends…
Please, stop telling people lies! You do this only becouse you know the true power of Linux, and you know that if a man try Linux (having EVERYTHING and more) completely for free (LEGALLY, obiouvsly) stop paying Microsoft’s Criminals.
I didn’t think there was people like you in the World…
You’re only another motivation to hate more the American Repubblicans!
Bye…
Europeans does better!
PS: Unix, Linux and Mozilla have no country! They’re owned by the World at all! Anyway you can be happy that many important project have born in the US (Unix, Netscape-Mozilla, GNOME and so on)
Ah, sorry… I forgot to say that one of the ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?smaller?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? USA company called Google (have you ever heard about it? :o) is using since long time Linux (not only in its server).
So, please use your robots.txt to avoid that Search engines using terrorist software (Linux, you know…) whould indicize your pages!
It’s a security suggestion!!! :D
ROTFL!
Lovely Tristan,
Thank you, for your gr8 article I must laugh when I read it even for a 6 time :-)
I am socked by all that you say! firefox is a browser with less fails than ie, and it respects the W3C standards, not like internet explorer. To your information, 2 years ago, there was 98% of IE users, and now there’s 20% of firefox users. Note that TCP/IP is not a new feature of windows vista, it a standards wich exist since 20 about years (begining of the internet)
Calm the fuck down, guys. This is OBVIOUSLY a joke.
PS:
Fuckin’ AIDS.
LOL, http://www.shelleytherepublican.com/ is running on linux server!
See the Irony!?!
Ps, I think this writer does a good job getting my attention. Have you ever thought of writing a book.
That was a good laugh, especially after reading this
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/2193275.stm
Now Torvald lives in the states. Linux contributes through myriad US firms to the US economy and as we see it is microsoft which is yet again trying the devious commie-type practices to undermine the US government’s right to save it’s tax payers money.
Maybe MS is actually trying to steal your hard earned taxes and lower the efficiency of the various Gov depts by allowing commie Euro and chinese hackers with an easy entry to any MS OS.
Loved the deliberate mistakes by the way but it is getting too transparent now.
You no mor abowt teh Intarveb tehn republicain Ted Stevens, an udder fin republicain hoo nos teh intarnet is not a big truck its a series of tubes.
You dumb dork, TCP/IP is the protocol the Internet runs on, not a security system. The question your article brings up is really a philosophical one. If someone is willfully ignorant, is he really a liar? I would think the answer is both. The TCP/IP comment was the most glaring, but the whole article was a pack of lies and/or ignorance that is part and parcel of Republicanism. It’s just the jabber of monkeys. Go directly to the 18th Century. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.
Tristan,
This is the most brilliantly well-informed 3rd level _investigative memetic warfare_ I’ve ever seen. Too deeply researched for even The Onion, America’s finest news source, to print. I’ve been trying to figure out which model of keyboard that German (Nazi, and probably communist also) computer has. Is that the TN 6151 or 5151? I can’t make it out.
Oh, as a minor correction: The internet is actually a series of tubes, which Al Gore helped Bill Gates invent.
God Bless
Freedom Isn’t Free
God Bless America
-Lemony
No , How the an internet is built detailed here:
What you would need
Computers that can run linux , windows , FreeBSD , Solaris
Netork Cables
Network Switches of 100Mbps and 1Gbps.
Fed up with the low bandwidth that ISP like AOL give you and invesive regulations?
think that you could build an Internet on your own?
Need a place for your privacy to be preserved?
if this is the case this guide is for you . it explains how to create an Internet from the small level to the big WAN (Wide-Area Network) level.
This is the first Chapter that describes in the most general way how an Internet orginised and what OS to install and in the next chapters that i would post later would go more in details. in buttom of this chapter is th explaintion of all the terms that used in this Howto.
Note: Every router in this chapter sould run in the minimum dhcp relay and dns cacher.
First You need to Create the Local Networks (LAN) that you want to
Connect in order to create a usable network. each network includes 2 or more computers and another computer to use as a router. On the the router should be:
A dhcp relay for getting a range of IP Addresses to use inside the network
A OSPF server or IS-IS program enable communication with other LAN’s
the OS of the router recommended to be OpenBSD , or Linux. However it can be also Windows , or FreeBSD. This works by that each computer in the network recive IP Address from the Core LAN dhcp server (it’s the Server that responsable for Issuing all the IP Addresses on the internet. you would IS-IS server or OSPF to talk with other router LANs.
Now after you have created your LANs you need to start connect them together.
a. you can connect several LANs (up to 19 LANs on 3 8-port Switches) , Network of those 19 LANs that has OSPF installed would be called an Area. An area contains also and area router running BGP server and OSPF on Linux, Solaris or OpenBSD. Windows can’t be used here because low reliability and expesive BGP software.
b. Another approach is to use IS-IS instead of OSPF in order to provide connectivity inside an Area.
if you use OSPF all Areas that you created have to be connected an multi-area that called Autonomous System (AS) backbone using AS routers running BGP server and OSPF again it best to use Linux , Solaris or OpenBSD on those routers. there are some routers that are only reflectors that disributes connectivity information to all BGP servers of the AS . those routers usually only connected to the AS backbone
and now we reach to highest level the WAN (Wide Area Network) – which is the core of an Internet. each AS backbone has one main router that one of his network connection is blocked to OSPF. However he has all the software of the AS router. in the side of the blocked OSPF connection this router connetcted directly to other main routers and this connections called the WAN .
In order that computers can get and IP address and use domains your internet needs also special LAN , the central LAN. This LAN has multiple routers running BGP server on Linux ,or OpenBSD that connected to routers on the WAN. Other computers on this network includes : DNS Server running on FreeBSD and backup DNS servers , and Multiple DHCP servers that hands out IP addresses to all your Internet
Terms:
OSPF – Open Shortest Path First protocol is a protocol that disributes how to send inforamtion in the shotest possible way.
BGP – Border Gateway Protocol (BGP) is the core protocol of an Internet. It works by maintaining a table of networks or which create network connectivity between the Largest Networks of our Internet (AS)
DHCP – is a service which gives an address to computer on the network
correct me if I’m wrong but the TCP/IP protocol isn’t that designed by unix users???
the only thing that MS has made was netbui that didn’t even passed a router because our ‘lovely’ Gates didn’t think that internet will grow like it is now …
MS has stolen ideas from ppl, buy things over that they didn’t think possible, uses protocols from ‘evil’ OS like UNIX, had even used unix servers for http://www.microsoft.com, going to use the linux way of managing users on their pc, plenty of security holes, do I need to go further?
the only good thing is .NET and AD that’s all….
VISTA isn’t that great too .. and transparanty of windows allready existed in linux before vista …
believe me you ignorant boy don’t believe this article becuz it’s full of idiotic things
TCP/IP a security system? not again Tristan! I’m always telling you to do your homework! ROTFL!!!!!!!!!
All this is a bunch of stupidities…
I reserve my own opinion of you for myself, though!
Tristan, UMHO you should take IT classes before trying to accomplish writing on this weblog…
there are some IT-teaching schools out there! try’em out, silly thingie!
OMG that was soooo fun !
I am a Linux user, and would really appreciate other Linux lovers had a higher sense of humour, because this whole blog is a joke !
Do you guys really think a human being could say : “ActiveX is a WWW standard” ?
So please stop insulting that funny Shelley team and let them make us laugh with their so well-informed articles ;-)
–
A French Ubuntu user
PS : Ubuntu Edgy Eft released on October, 26th !!!
Wow, you’re a moron…
I won’t even begin to respond to this article.
Try my “website”.
Idiots.
>If you don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t believe me, read this review we did a few months back.
What’s the point in reading something written by someone I don’t believe??
BWAHAHAHAH!
For the sake of entertainment, I’ll point out that the TCP/IP stack in Windows (any version) is derived from the one used in BSD, as is the one included with most other operating systems. Microsoft just extended it some, in what ways I don’t know, as I’ve not got the money–or the time–to look at it. That’s the part I find hilarious myself.
Upgrading to Vista would be a bad idea for anyone who isn’t prepared for massive system breakage at this time. Wait until Microsoft releases it before you deploy it on critical systems–the results of doing so before that time aren’t comical.
To those who say that this guy knows nothing, I must point to the signs that say otherwise: he digs up artifacts from ancient history to compare against the alleged point of view. His use of buzzwords and initalisms also indicates some familiarity with sales pitches in the business computing industry, because it’s often people who know nothing about computers making IT decisions for companies. Do you seriously think that “Tristan” believes that TCP/IP has anything to do with security?
Okay, but two things to address Tristan: first, what about Samba, which provides a way to make every computer, regardless of operating system, compatible with Windows networks (based, in large part, on documentation provided by Microsoft in the interest of putting legacy systems on Windows network.
The second point to Tristan (on which I’d like to see a blog post at some point) is the existence of Christian-centered Linux distros, such as Ubuntu Christian and Icthux, which include in the default installation various tools for Bible research, including a copy of the Bible in the various languages they (the distros) support.
ROFLMAO. You look as stupid as you are. Now please somebody built an strong fence around “god blessed america” so rest of the world can live in piece.
You stupid Americans. How this kind a person walk freely? they should put mental-institution.
lol lol lol, i dont think i am going to stop laughing for the next like two weeks. this really is one of the funniest things on the web, because i cant believe that all of you nitwits actually took him seriously. if anyone of you dipshits actually knew anything about tech, you would know that he was only making fun of the misconceptions the idiots (apparently all of you) have against linux and tech in general… the funniest part was seeing all the europeans getting mad and lashing out at anerica, get a new pet bitch to hate… god save you people, you need it…
God bless America!
__________________
heres a little “revelation” about the site for you einsteins…
You, my dear, are a damn racist :)
Praise be!
And God Bless America!
Don’t forget to vote Republican next week y’all. You’ll burn in hell if you don’t!
Tom Delay recently dropped out of the elections after being indicted. Vista is late because “we want to be sure we have the appropriate drivers ready and all the testing done.” – Jim Allchin, Microsoft’s co-president of Microsoft’s platforms and services division. The first TCP/IP connection was made back in 1975 (in London, I might add). Fur Elise is a song by Beethoven, not a virus. Regarding your XP review, it might be noted that the review came about five years after the OS. The European Union is trying to block Windows Vista because of antitrust concerns related to the integrated security suite blocking all other competitors in the space. I have no idea what obscure computer you pulled out a picture of, and I don’t much care. that thing is not state of the art no matter where you are. Microsoft ‘won’ the browser war by bundling the disturbingly crappy IE with all Windows machines, another antitrust violation. ActiveX plugins are the most dangerous part about IE. Firefox is developed by The Mozilla Corporation, based in Mountain View, CA. All pictures on this website and all others show up fine on my Firefox, while VBScript support is superfluous (it copies JavaScript) as well as worm-ridden. ActiveX and Microsoft Secure Certificates are not standard world wide web features, as laid out by the world wide web consortium, or W3C. In 30 seconds of searching, i turned up 2,901 security programs for Linux. All of them are free. disk defragmenters are similarly common, although system repair tools were not so easy to find. this can be attributed to the fact that Linux systems don’t mess themselves up in the first place. The EU is talking about removing some software from WMP that violates end user fair use rights. Vista’s ‘cutting edge design’ is just a ripoff of the mac osX GUI. The taskbar in your provided picture looks like Linspire. I have, of course, ignored the claims which are outright lies. Time to put away my soapbox and go to sleep.
Yours in rational thought,
Jeff (Linux user)
I got linux after reading this article.
me too, lives France, lives LINUX, and lives the pinguins!!!!
“For example, Linux does not have an anti-virus utility, a disk-defragmentor or a system repair tool.”
=> the anti-virus : it doesn’t exist because nobody wants to attack my favourite pinguin. Viruses only were created to attack Mr Gates and his F*** software
=> the disk-defragmentaion : it is an integrated device in Linux which control the HDD very efficiently so it doesn’t need to exist ….
=> the system repair tool : it doesn’t exist because LINUX is stable instead of Microsoft which is real shit
vive la France, vive LINUX, et vive les pinguins !!!!
Re: your Linux article.
This is a joke, right? I mean, why should I care if Linux cuts into Bill Gates profits? So he earns a few billion dollars less this year. Cry me a river.
It seems to be that the people who cry the loudest about stuff being given away for free, are the same people who constantly try to squeeze blood from stones.
Hey, about that windows vista look at this, text interface what a load of crap, this is it!, looks more or less like vista
http://linux.softpedia.com/screenshots/MandrivaLinux_1.png
Linux is given away because it makes money!, beleive me, theres tonnes of cash to be made with giving stuff away, why else would it be called free, nothings free!, Like windows, you may have to pay 200 quid odd for the system itself and then get the add ons like word. Most windoze are copied now anyway, who wants to pay? at least people actually buy linux magazines because of the cd/dvd not becasue they can get a free windas!
Computers were made by the british acctually!, in the world war two the british made the computer to crack the enigma code. And americans only made computers as we see now with the help of a bloke called allan sugar who was the founder of AMSTRAD!
Get your facts right! Ignorant
God Bless America!
AMERICA IS SHIT!
Shelley you should do a special on Ubuntu!
This ist the newest development in Linux. The most important about it: It does not even come from Europe. Instead it comes from Africa.
It is a real back to the root(s) experience in Linux. When you switch on your computer and enter your password, your are welcomed with a short bush drum crescendo.
In your first sessions you learn to change the desktop background by planting the tree that represents mother earth (dawn of Ubuntu). What’s worse, you do it voluntarily.
Of course it is forbidden to plaster the desktop with small icons like in Windows. Keep your desktop tidy is something you learn rapidly.
Later on you get in contact with a lot of nice people from the Ubuntu community who are really eager to help you in your first steps with Ubuntu.
That’s the point when you want to step out and change back to MS Windows, because your mother always warned you about scientology.
Alas it is to late. Once you entered this world, there is no escape. Nobody leaves Ubuntu. At least not alive!
So please keep up your effort to warn the innocent people out there about the sectarian and communist thread that Linux is to the world we live in.
My wife will pray for you (I am already caught in the clutches of atheism).
Luck.
Tom
Dear Tristan J. Shuddery,
You are the zealot in all these articles, because you protect your country whith things that are not american made. Sorry to burst your bubble, but the computer as a calculating machine was invented by a bulgarian named John Atanasov.
And on another track, calling a freely distributed OS a threat to Microsoft, which is a kind of monopolist, or a threat to a democratic and “free” country is a joke. Any democratic country has a free market, that being a good and a bad thing.
Also with the same idea you can throw away from America all the rain that pours evaporated water from Europe, because it’s a threat to America’s water companies.
hey that shelley is an idiot… man, what do you americans have against us europeans???? forget that Europe is your origin????
i just read this http://www.shelleytherepublican.com/2006/04/20/linux-a-european-threat-to-our-computers-by-tristan.aspx
and i am appauled. for starters every single word written in the main articale is just plain rubbish and lies. now i hear you asking how cna this one post wonder call my work lies. here’s how.
first some about myself.
aged 8 i was given a 286 my father had named miriam. on that machine i learnt dos 5, 6 and 6.1 to a point where i was testing and offered a part time job working (free of charge) for my fathers company because i was better than their IT guy at the same stuff.
At the age of 10 i was given a 386 dx2 ex file server (a thank you for services rendered by said company) it came with a copy of windows 3.11 for workgroups. in three months i had aced that.
windows 95 came out and it was more of the same really. Also at this point (due to boredem) i started exploring the hardware aspect of things.
win98 was released and it was the same story. By this point i had a pretty fundamental understanding of the hardware that was available at that time. i also had started experimenting with this new discovery i had made called linux. but due to hardware compatibility issue’s i was unable to stay with it.
windows 2000 got my interest in the form of “ooohhhh looky it’s new” and i just laughed @ ME. by this time i was 16. I had started college and was doing some programming. that didnt last as it wasn’t where my heart lied.
Used nt 4 a bit in school and became proficient enough with the help of the student IT support Team, which was made entirely of students itself, built a back door into the website so we could access the network for what ever took our fancy from home or where ever. It was left undiscovered for 3 years.
By this time xp was out and it was a different kind of beast. it took me a lil longer to master but i’m as proficient with it as most of the ?Ǭ¨?Ǭ£100K a year guys.
after mastering xp and then gaing a touch of common sense i realised i had been paying money for years for an inferior product. so i tested suse 8.2 and was again thwarted by hardware.
I’m now coming up to my 24th bday and am loving learning linux. it’s the challenge i have spent my life looking for. sorry for the length i was trying to make it short and not so much 2look at me aren’t i amazing” coz that isn’t my style. but in sayin that at you have to admit i do seem to have a very natural talent.
now i am a linux user for one very simple reason. I hate having to spend hours out of my working day dealing with the poor, well frankly fucking shit, security that microsft builds into windows. Name your version it sucks whatever. i was also infuriated with the amount of money i was spending annually on products to patch fundamental flaws in your beloved os. I would go on bashing windows but tbh i don;t have the time for it.
Now to a comparison.
I will start but by sayin linux is not some european iferior product and i will also advise yu that company that made the “rtugged laptop” that you wrote the articale on has a very large had in linux and has yesterday had law suit against it to throw out in the use with was filed by a company called sco (formerly caldera) and funded by microsoft. Linus was started by a finish gentleman by the name of Linux Trovalds. he started it as a university project to prove his teacher he (said theacher) was an idiot.
the stand firewall included in linux is widely accepted in the computer security sector as the best. oh and it’s free. Linux was not under any circumstances created to avoid patents and legal issues it was created to not only embarrass the arrogant but to prove that you can do better than any thing the “big boys” can do on a non profit basis.
the reason you will not find any anti virus software for linux is there is only 5 virus’s total for linux and only one of those can be classed as affective but it still won’t do as much damage as too require you to reinstall you operating system. i would go into details on to why but because it would literally take about 3 days to explain i won’t.
in a linux distrobution there is literally thousands of applications for a user to try. all of which are full complete, non shareware versions that you are free to use the full capability off for as long as you like. There or often 3 or more applications that do a similar task and if you don’y like any of those, a quick search in linux based google will find you more and all of these you are allowed to modify the code to add extra features and improve, all provided you give the original author credit for his work.
you made a point about how windows is given away with almost every pc you can buy. this beacuse microsoft is an illegal monopoly. the only reason your beloved god steve ballmer hasn’t been sent to jail is coz he screws you beloved president in the ass every week and George “dubya” is quyite willing to return the favour.
“This would be certainly true were in not for the Linux project?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s seductive Marxist ideology and the effect that it has on ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Blue-State?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥ liberals. Indeed, Linux is so pervasive amongst the blue states and many liberal universities that a leading computer expert Steve Balmer (from Microsoft) described Linux as cancer.”
If i’m a marxist that make you a terrosist. the univeristies you mention one of them being MIT is a leading developer in the linux community and all of the computer science students have projects under the gpl and if any one wants to sue them for patent and/or copyright infrigement they will have to take on IBM and Novell amoungst others first. and setve ballmer a computer expert. if you can give ge solid reliable proof that he isn’t a blithering idiot that opens his mouth coz his share holders told him too i will promise to leave the IT industry on production of said evidnece. A perfect example of Ballmers mental disabilities is perfectly ilustrated in a recent statement he made about the interoperabiltiy deal he made with Novell. where he said “we have agreed to disagree on that agreement” how the fucking hell can you agree to disgree on a legally binding document.
I would go on further but time is pressing. But to conclude i will say this. for the comments you have mad on this website, which appears to be quite popular with your fellow redneck, bible belt, terrorist yanks (who by the way speak english not american. a language you inherited from my fellow English citizens) is a very liable to be sued for your life as every single word is inflammatory and lies. You are liable and are asking for trouble and the fact your server was hosted on linux with out your admins knowledge and she pays the bills has made my year.
And one last thing. When you submitted that article to the industries press they probably did what i did and spent all night laughing they’re asses off. your an idiot and need to be put back into the institution you came from because you really need help and if you wanna delete this thread you should be imprisoned for treason as it is a breach of the first amendment which you love so dearly.
don’t give up your day job retard
oh and can oh linux computers do this. yeah actually they can and we invented it.
oh and after a quick upload to my ftp heres the proof http://www.noquestionsasked.co.uk/public/XglCompiz10.png
Dude, you are so right! Linux is really a product from hell! You have to pray to our lord, he will protect your great country from that devil’s work! I think, North-Korea, Iran and other rogue states like germany supports linux to undermine the great american economy. But i’m sure, jesus is on your side, on the side of freedom, democracy and proprietay rights! Now its time to pray to the lord! God bless america!
A religious man, EULA-Fan and iraq-war supporter
ok i to an point support said war but how the hell can you just discard such overwhelming evidence. I think mebbe just that your one of those low IQ types and a fool. Linux will not destroy america’s economy. far from it, as there are many version of linux that can be bought in your local PC shop. The free version’s you have to figure out how to use on your own. But buy it from a pc shop and you get suppoprt from companies like novell and ibm when you get stuck.
Also remember that first reports from america buisness sector that Vista is really, really, really bad and i’m not just making that up coz i love linux it is a reported fact.
Ms is dying lady’s and gents. in 10 years time MS will not exist and we’ll be laughing at how much they sucked while we are using linux.
Hey, guess what you stupid cunt? Your blog runs on a UNIX based server. And runs Apache. Isn’t that awesome. So… I guess your host is full of cheap sinners. Or may be even better – Russian hackers. No, no… they’re not just Russian, they are Russian Comi hackers. And the first line of Linux was written by Satan himself through the hand of Adolph Hitler. But seriously. I am an outsorced tech support for a majot hosting company. I deal with the likes of you every day. For about 2 years I wonder how come – your stupidity is incredible and continues to surprise me. A laugh stock. You are a nation formed by the scum of Europe and have the nerve to speak like that. For your information: the open source society is what drives the Software industry forward. The simplest reason,one that you would definitely understand with your single brain cell – we hate the M$ so much it drives us forward in developing better software. For your information, cuz I read a previous article (which by humble opinion what a lot better, c’mon, I’m still not on the floor laughing): Windows servers we use in my company is as unstable as a trouble child on crack. I can continue like that for days. Dude, I do not want to waste my time with such nonsense.For your information: You morons are so dumb (for which I thank you, because otherwise I would have been unemployed) you couldn’t find your arses even if you search it with both of your hands and a flashlight. Done deal. Though, rest assured, I will follow the will of the Great Coder (yeah, his prophet looks like a penguin) in the skies and will continue visiting your dumb blog. Such laugh cannot go unnoticed
P.S.: Yeah, here in Europe we’re all anarchysts and commies. So… I guess, greetings you imbecillic comrades, and go F**K yourselves
>>M3PH
Brasileiro? Hehe
Hello Tristan,
I’m honestly not sure if this article is a joke or not. I’m Scottish but I have nothing against the U.S.A, in fact I wish you well; but really there are so many errors in this article, I find it hard to believe that it’s intended to be taken seriously.
I’m certainly not a communist but I use Linux, initially because I became so fed up with Windows crashing and freezing, then, as I became aware of Microsoft’s business practises, the ethical argument against using Windows became overwhelming.
As a commited Christian, I support the freedom and openess inherent in Linux – “freely you have received, freely give” and I cannot support trampling competitors underfoot, in order to maximise profits and power – the nationality is irrelevant.
Apple’s OS X running on Mac computers (based in the U.S.A.) is excellent – lovely to look at, stable, easy to use and based on a free, Unix-like core. Maybe that is the way to go for those who need a more “commercial” offering than most Linux distributions can offer?
My computer is triple booted with WIndows XP, WIndows VIsta RC1 and Ubuntu Linux.
I believe that your information is out of date. Firstly, Linux users are not bound to a command line. Ubuntu’s GUI is great. (Vista’s is better though). Secondly, Internet Explorer is no longer the leading web browser. The lack of security on the trident layout engine has made firefox and mozilla lead (earlier in the article, it was stated that mozzilla was not availiable for windows. UPDATE Mozzila IS availiable for windows)
I feel that this whole argument is a stupid joke.
Yes, Europe did delay Vista but No, they do not have such old computers that still have no GUI
XGL-Compiz? that’s much better than Windows Vista. take a look at http://www.youtube.com
whoever makes this crappy blog, for god sake’s, dont lie, write about things you know, is there’s a lord up there he wouldn’t want you to write those lies.
All these pro-linux comments are just making me laugh. Seriously.
That is the funniest thing I have read all day. Seriously.
I hope you don’t mind that I take quotes from a couple of your fictive creations and create a random quote generator for forums, cause I’m doing anyways.
If I feel nice, I’ll include a link to your site, so that fellow intelligent beings can enjoy your work as much as I. Yes I use linux.
Two links that I use often to retaliate against people who bash me for it (though, of course, I don’t link to them when they actually MEAN what they have said, rather than trolling about it):
http://linux.oneandoneis2.org/LNW1.htm and a revised version:
http://linux.oneandoneis2.org/LNW.htm
Thanks once more for supplying great quotes for my sigs!
Die, American bastard.
I hope you will die in a slow and painfull dead.
Filha da puta!
http://www.webalice.it/mzandi/npodges1.jpg
Can your Windows do it?
My Kubuntu can.
http://www.webalice.it/mzandi/npodges1.jpg
Can your rWindows do it?
http://www.shelleytherepublican.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/linux_desktop.jpg
This is an industrial terminal/thin client.
http://www.shelleytherepublican.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/shelley_netscape-703715.jpeg
This is Netscape, it looks like it is on Solaris with OpenWindows (~ 1996; Sun dumped it in 2001)
Linux don’t need disk defragmentation.
Wow… Someone should do their research before posting this type of false defecate.
Your IBM thinkpad was not built by an american company.. it was build by Lenovo.. an asian company..
There are so many other false statements I don’t have time to go over them.. but remember.. Anything you post on the internet is often read by people more intelligent than you.. in this case that’s pretty much everyone.
well .. I read all of your text and the only thing I have found it is a plenty of inutilities and it only shows you really don’t know what you are talking about.
First of all , a lot of american people are involved with the GNU/Linux project . IBM uses linux in their computers and they’re a very advanced industry ..
Linux has no viruses , for this reason it doesn’t need an anti-virus software.
“There was also a ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Browser War?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?, and microsoft won that too with there excellent Internet Explorer. It was stable and fast and worked with all the wonderful ActiveX plugins. Once again, Europeans tried to compete with their ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Mozilla?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?, it was slow buggy and only worked on Linux”
IE,excellent?Wake up!!
ActiveX,wonderful?ActiveX is main reason for all those news regarding security holes in IE.
Firefox,buggy?You make me laugh!
“Mozilla Firefox, no wonder this browser lost the ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?war?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?. Even the newest version of Mozilla (pictured above) lacks standard WWW features such as ActiveX and Microsft Secure Certificates.”
ActiveX and Microsoft Secure Certificates,standards?FYI,IE is the browser that lacks WWW standards.Any doubt?
http://www.microsoft.com/windows/ie/ie6/evaluation/faq/default.mspx#EAGAC
Q.What’s new in Internet Explorer’s support for CSS 1 and DOM 1? What is there now that wasn’t there in version 5.5?
A.We implemented several missing CSS 1 items, for example “word-spacing” and “white-space” properties, as well as improved support in several other areas.
Q.Is Internet Explorer committed to implementing standard X in the future?
A.Microsoft is committed to implementing the Internet standards that make sense to allow our customers to build great solutions. As standards emerge, we evaluate them to see which standards might best serve our customers’ needs.
Standards were made to be followed,not judged by one company.No doubt IE is the biggest crap in the internet.
“For example, Linux does not have an anti-virus utility, a disk-defragmentor or a system repair tool.”
‘Cause we don’t need these tools
“They are even talking about forcing Microsoft to remove Windows Media Player, a truly essential program.”
Wow…I don’t know how can I live without movies in my computer…
“Can your European Linux do this? The new Windows Vista desktop: Linux computers are still burdened with a text-mode interface, wheras Windows Vista has the latest cutting-edge design.”
Does this look a text-mode interface to you?
SuSe 9.3 (Novell released SuSe 10.2)
http://img393.imageshack.us/img393/3711/snapsusedesktopdb4.png
http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/4336/mysusekm2.png
Debian Etch 3.1
http://img292.imageshack.us/img292/644/mydebianux7.png
Both are installed in my home PC.And no,I didn’t have to compile ANYTHING.
“Vista includes an all-new sercurity system called TCP/IP which will no doubt stump foreign hackers for years.”
LOL You stupid.TCP/IP is not a security system.
Hi Darling,
reading your “article” about linux there are some things that come to my mind. The only two things that america gave to the world are, except for the potatoe, are aids and the atomic bomb.
As a real endwise conservative american, you shurely have a gun, dont you? So i suggest, pull it out of your asshole and stick it in your mouth. Then pull the trigger!
Have a nice journey, you dammed cocksucking wimp.
Yours sincerely
Jesa
I’ve changed my mind. I’ma coming back to Jesus! Take me LORD! God bless you Shelley! God Bless America!
Konrad Zuse’s Z3 was the first working programmable, fully automatic machine, whose attributes, with the addition of conditional branching, have often been the ones used as criteria in defining a computer. The Z3 was built with 2,000 relays, had a clock frequency of ~5?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¨10 Hz, and a word length of 22 bits.[1] Calculations on the computer were performed in full binary floating point arithmetic.
The machine was completed in 1941 (on May 12 that year, it was successfully presented to an audience of scientists in Berlin). The original Z3 was destroyed in 1944 during an Allied bombardment of Berlin. A fully functioning replica was built in the 1960s by the originator’s company Zuse KG and is on permanent display in the Deutsches Museum. In 1998 the Z3 was proven to be Turing-complete.
Oh, its a little surprising to read about my change of mind. I do not remember writing this post but ist fun. :-)) .
Where have you left my second one?
You’re an idiot.
This site is one of the best wind ups around! Genius!
WUM-TASTIC!!
The person who wrote the origional article here has to be the biggest e-tard on the face of the earth. This is so horribly inaccurate on so many levels it seems like a waste of bandwidth to even publish. Perhaps the author should actually pull his nose out of the Bible long enough to do some real research. Its people like this that underscore why the non-Christian world wants the United States to burn.
Interestingly enough, this website runs on a piece of linux software called Apache… A bit strange since you are running ‘european hacker anti-american’ software for your website.
The guy who wrote linux was a russian comminust spy that wanted to take over the world. He used to be in a l337 hackor gang called After Pinky was arrested by the elite russian spy agency (the CIA) linus defected to the US and started working for the US Intellance agency (KGB)
That’s where he learned C++ (Which is code for China Forever) and started writing the evil linux with his new partner (The Devil)
well, you really are a bit of a prick int you. Ive read a couple of your posts and you clearly have no knowlege or you are taking the absolute piss. If you feel so strongly about the use of “linux” in the world of terrorism then the only way you can counteract it is to get off yer arse and use the OS yourself and stop these peaople from doing what they do. Is your M$ system going to do so, think not. I use XP on a daily basis, infact i’m an M$ nut, but when it comes to security Linux/BSD/Unix rules. No question. Linux was developed to allow peaople to play with their computers, for example, you perform a file copy in windows, it will execute the copy instruction as part of your explorer.exe process. The copy starts to fail/gets stuck and your explorer.exe stops responding, you have to kill the explorer.exe process and band there goes your desktop for 10-15 seconds. In linux, you can just kill the copy process. Leaving your desktop intact. Anyway, you wont understand what i’m talking about cause you are clearly what we glaswegians call a fukwit, so I will leave you with one thought. Get a grip.
well, you really are a bit of a prick int you. Ive read a couple of your posts and you clearly have no knowlege or you are taking the absolute piss. If you feel so strongly about the use of “linux” in the world of terrorism then the only way you can counteract it is to get off yer arse and use the OS yourself and stop these peaople from doing what they do. Is your M$ system going to do so, think not. I use XP on a daily basis, infact i’m an M$ nut, but when it comes to security Linux/BSD/Unix rules. No question. Linux was developed to allow peaople to play with their computers, for example, you perform a file copy in windows, it will execute the copy instruction as part of your explorer.exe process. The copy starts to fail/gets stuck and your explorer.exe stops responding, you have to kill the explorer.exe process and band there goes your desktop for 10-15 seconds. In linux, you can just kill the copy process. Leaving your desktop intact. Anyway, you wont understand what i’m talking about cause you are clearly what we glaswegians call a fukwit, so I will leave you with one thought. Get a grip.
It seems like every sentence you say about computer and technology contains horrendous and laughable mistakes.
I will tell all my friends to come see your blog so they can all laugh at you.
Such ignorance should be banned.
Tristan, you are the man! Bill Gates is THE WORLD’S GREATEST LIVING HUMAN(tm), and Steve Ballmer is his prophet. Without Windows, I would never have learned that CTRL-ALT-DEL launches the task manager! Or what a buffer overflow is. Or a zombie. Or what being “pwned” means. Microsoft has added so much richness to the world’s computing experience.
Plus Microsft facilitates the powerful worms which fertilize the internet’s tubes, providing the environment for the growth of spam^^^^unsolicited commercial advertising, and the enormous business opportunities that has created.
Linux is for lusers!!
After seeing that screenshot of Vista and saying Linux still uses a Command Line Interface, I can only conclude that you are a COMPLETE socialist IDIOT. Have you looked at the Kubuntu desktop running XGL and Beryl? It’s a beautiful, easy to use, virus free, visually appealing, masterpiece. And it’s LINUX. The Linux desktop is so far ahead of Vista and anything else Microsoft has produced that it’s drawing in thousands of new users weekly, especially the Ubuntu project and its derivatives. What productivity gain would you get from Vista? It’s slow, ugly, clunky, and makes the user look and feel like they suffer from severe mental retardation. Every 10 seconds it asks for permission to do something simple, it rapes system resources, and you have to FIND software for it instead of opening a package manager and searching such as Synaptic or Slapt-get. There is nothing Linux can’t do that windows can except for a few games and Photoshop CS2, which are better off on Apple’s OSX anyway. Linux has no virii because it is too secure for them to affect it. It doesn’t have a firewall because the OS itself runs a filtering program called IPTables that does a much better job than any windows firewall. Thousands of businesses now sue Linux, whether it is a corporate version they pay for or a free use GPL version doesn’t make a difference. To add another point, you should check your facts first, BSD is what is used on msot servers, in fact it is FreeBSD, a FREE operating system made in AMERICA. Feel free to email me and then die in a care fire.
Dear Shelley and Friends,
This website is either a joke or else all of you are sick.
You don’t judge a book by its cover
and
You don’t judge an Operating System by its looks
M$ prentends but it doesn’t do.
Reconsider!
Unistall Microsoft OSes!
Ban them from your machines!
YOU ARE AN IDIOT THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO SAY. Lets see as it was proven before you were running on a linux system. And if you have since made the dumb decision of your life to convert to a windows server have fun fending off the attacks that should pour in through your crappy windows proctection
This entire site is frickin hilarious. I always knew that Americans are morons but this republican bitch takes stupidity to a whole new level.
She’s probably a fucking virgin who just needs to get banged real hard so that she’ll stop with her rantings.
This is boolshit….motherfucker
Your just jelouse cose mozilla is more popular (2/3 of people use it), cool, no pop-ups, and its FREE
And jour jelouse of linux cose its free and beter…
PS: Microsoft AND Vista is gay….get it -> G A Y
Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers,… the whole windows company are fucker’s…(did i meanchen that they are motherfukers?)… you make USA look funny….well it is alredy funny…..Vista is full of shit…If you have some knowladge you could hack in vista enywhere anytime..Bill Gates is a fuckin Moron
BURN USA….
lmao that article was damn funny
Americans are primitive, not europeians…America sucks and i own america so hard…Americans just sit infront of theyr sucki Vista running computer and eat hamburgers…Every american is FAT…America is a fat bitch….
Here are two pictures to show who americans realy are
http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/1498/Fat+McDonalds+Kid/
http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/752/Euro+vs+American+women/
Were you high on the day this article was written?
hahaha, tcp/ip is the windows vista innovation?? hahahaha, ActiveX?? hahahahah hahahahha hahahahahahahahahaha
And to think that I and my Linux using buddys actually gave a large part of our lives to defend the freedoms of idiots like this.
NO comment
Hello Tristan,
I really need to thank you for making my day a lot more cheerfull.
I sent this blog to all my friends hoping that they find it as amusing as I did.
Have you though about a career in standup?
I cannot wait for more posts…
Regards
Pedro (the non-french European son of the devil)
Each and every single WORD you wrote got me ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING!!!!
I would never imagine someone could say so many stupid thinks at once! Or are you just making stuff up as you write? (In such case, does the Bible teach you to lie? =P)
HILLARY CLINTON FOR PRESIDENCY in 2008!!! ehehe
… are you SERIOUS???
My favourite:
“The European Union (Like the UN, but stinks of French garlic), has made a law that says Microsoft must pay one-million Euros a day until they strip out all the features from Vista that Linux doesnt have”
Loooooooooove your stupidity!
I laughed so hard it brought tears to my eyes!!
Guys,
this site contains the most stupid and ignorant writings about computing. The author of “Linux Zealots: If at first you don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t succeed, cheat!” and ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Linux, a European Threat to our Computers?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? have probably never seen a computer and wrote this on a typewriter. I will not comment the wrong facts in this writings, they are so many and so ridiculous that any person with average computer knowledge will laugh his head off. But even more striking is the arrogant American patriotism and xenophobia. I could not believe that such people can exist in a ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?civilised?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? country like USA. You are shame for USA! And if there are too many like you (and I know at least one more) then there is no wonder that the entire world will soon or late HATE YOU!
P.S. If this site is a kind of joke, please, excuse me!
And that linux cheats??
Your crazy no wait mad.
Linux camed out from a garage perfectly legal with his own source code witch is free for anyone. However vista has her secrets and to tell ya all it wount be a future from locked code. Now its a suces becouse there are more companys suporting vista for economics reasons and becouse of that there are more unligal downloads includuing me :)
PS: I think that you realy were high that day
Not that anyone will read this probably – but I really do like republican politics. You should tell any of the crap you’re talking about in this article if you were decent, thinking Americans and thoughtful republicans. The whole Netscape/Mozilla stuff you’re criticising has been invented and created in the US, and e.g. Firefox is more American than the European stuff Micorsoft bought one time and now is selling to its users as Internet Explorer.
That said, the Linux creator, Linus Torvalds, is nowadays a pround American – on the other hand, Microsoft has lots of its programmers in Europe and Asia – so your “Europe vs. USA” bullshit doesn’t work out.
I guess I don’t have to remind you of all the problems with Tom Delay or other wrong stuff you are trying to tell here.
I know God is forgiving you for your sins just as He is forgiving all of us who believe in Him. And I know most republicans are a good choice for the USA. But please, try to stick to really reasonable and good arguments. This article doesn’t make any sense at all.
This website shames america. It’s alright for you, you’ve probably got the money to spend on expensive software, but not all of us do. How DARE you imply that linux is the work of evil, and that jesus would not want us to use it. Offensive to christians and non-christians. It is people like you who have made america the worlds most hated nation, covering all of the great things that have spawn from it. Linux and Mozilla are outstanding and with the help of people like google will help rid the technological world of snobs like you and topple microsofts unfair monopoloy. Word of advice, go back to the sad offline outdated world you came from and NEVER use 9/11 or God to justify what you have said. It is sickening.
Go eat a dog. Now.
FFS DON’T YOU KNOW ANYTHING!
“Can your European Linux do this?”
Yes.
“There was also a ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Browser War?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?, and microsoft won that too with there excellent Internet Explorer.”
Hope you like being exploited by hackers.
“Yes, definitely. Vista includes an all-new sercurity system called TCP/IP”
Someone doesn’t know anything about networking.. it’s not that new at all.
“PC?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s cheap foreign-made CPU had completely burned out.”
AMD owns Intel anyday.
“Now speaking of great American technology, many of you will have heard that Microsoft Vista is running late.”
Because
A) Microsoft put in a whole lot of pointless features.
B) Microsoft is just getting worse.
“Europe has banned Windows Vista because it will pose a competitive threat to it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s own antiquated products.”
You wish.
And this is how stupid windows is. Tried to post. Look what happens.
WordPress database error: [Lost connection to MySQL server during query]
SELECT * FROM str_comments WHERE comment_ID = ‘39946′ LIMIT 1
Warning: Cannot modify header information – headers already sent by (output started at /home/content/S/h/e/ShelleyGoodman/html/wp-includes/wp-db.php:121) in /home/content/S/h/e/ShelleyGoodman/html/wp-comments-post.php on line 55
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Dear Shelly or Tristian.. I could not comment here “http://shelleytherepublican.com/2006/04/20/linux-a-european-threat-to-our-computers-by-tristan.aspx”
So I’ll just leave a comment here for that post.
Why? – What if some of your friends used Linux because they tought it just worked well ?
Like, I am using it because it fits me well ? not because of some god !
Do you think that if god comes down to this planet ever wants to see a fucking OS or a product ? think about this, god comes down.. and the first thing he/she is doing is pickup a laptop and start chatting at MSN ! haha, no !
“Linux is evil, you are gonna burn to hell!”.. well, what the fuck is this ?
People are using stuff/products/OS’es because it-just-works.
Peronally, I am using Windows And Linux.. not because of the tought if its “evil” or not.
This post: “http://shelleytherepublican.com/2006/04/20/linux-a-european-threat-to-our-computers-by-tristan.aspx”
is just stupid !
thank you !
herrfalcor / blog.digital-brush.org
YOU ARE A SUCH A MORON! REALLY. God will punish stupidity :) You stupid troll
it is useless of me to say anything more in linux’s defence, considering the overwhelming amount of posts preceding mine. i can however give you a link to a vid http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZD7QraljRfM that show what a linux can do. for free. yes, vista sucks and everybody knows that.
i dearly hope that you are getting payed by microsoft for this cause if you aren’t you are wasting both your money and you time using their software.
just to clear it up for the less gifted out there: a piece of software cannot be ‘evil’.
oh and roflmaao (rolling on the floor laughing my atheist ass off)
Forget the politics nad holy wars. Open Source has surpassed closed source in many key areas. Consider the Super computer market. Do you know what percent run open source? 50% to 75% depending on if you count machines or processors (of the Top 500 [publicly acknowledged] Supercomputers in the world). The reasons are quite simple. Freedom. Innovation. And cooperation. The middle class in the world has always done the work and Open Source is simply a better way to cooperate. That’s why groups of average people have created incredible products which over-whelm many product categories: CMS (Joomla!, TikiWiki, Zope/Plone, etc.), Web Server (well, tax dollars at work there, Apache, Tomcat, JBoss, JonAS, …), Relational databases (MySQL, HSQLdb, Postgresql, … (did you even know Postgresql is far older than Oracle or Microsoft’s RDBMS), desktop OS (oh my! yep, I said it. To a neophyte all of Ubuntu, OpenSUSE, and Fedora Core are as easier to use and more powerful than sMac and Spindows). The problem for most Americans is they belive the hype they see on TV. If a rich dude’s spin machine says he’s good then they’ll believe it.
I believe in freedom and cooperation. I believe in Open Source. http://www.serviza.com/
HAHAHA THATS REALLY FUNNY
But no one is SO stupid to wwrite something like this seriusly
C’est une satire…. c’est pas possible d’ecrire des trucs comme ca. Et le raisonnement… C’est du niveau d’une pub de lessive.
Oh my goodness, I had no idea that Linux was controlled by jealous Europeans trying to bring down the US economy. I wish I knew this before I bought a System76 (http://www.system76.com) linux computer. I knew they were stationed in Colorado but I guess the Europeans are illegally immigrating into America. Well, fortunately I found a guide on the internet on how to uninstall linux (http://support.microsoft.com/kb/247804). I hope my computer can handle Vista, otherwise I’ll have to buy a brand new computer. Well I guess thats what you get if you buy from the evil Europeans. Thanks :-)
Tristan,
you make me laugh, with your lack of facts and lies, this is surely one of the funniest articles ever made.
Do your homework next time, please!
the server is run on Linux, anyone who knows how to use nmap knows this.
Also, Linux isn’t all Command Line, but it sure as hell is useful when you know how to use it. Microsoft made it so confusing when they replaced the “rm” command with “del”.
I’ve tried Vista, and I must say that it really does suck. Its a shinier version of XP, and nothing less.
What makes me laugh even more is people are taking this article seriously. If he wants to lie, let him, but don’t give him any attention.
YEAH! I believe everything you say Shelley! You are so right in everything you say! I even found this image you might like!
http://img172.imageshack.us/img172/27/christiancrusaderim8.jpg
Now, back to the real world. I have never met someone who dribbles as much shit as you do. Perhaps you should try researching the FACTS before posting your pro-windows crap.
Bitch.
This man is a complete IDIOT!!!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
RepublicanChristianAntiLinuxMicro$oftLover
totally sick
My friend you are just plain weird.
pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop….
my, dear fellow comment writers, YOU are the real morons:)
This article, and all the like, they are called HUMOUR!!!!! It’s an IRONY!!! Have you ever heard there exists such a thing?
A burned cheap made CPU, like … right :|
Are you mad?
Do you know what bios is?
Probably not?
That is a ’safety’ mechanisem that shotdowns the compunter preventing that kind of stuf
And Linux has that already inside it for double safety
Softwear can only ‘burn’ stuff if you:
A) Mess with the register or something like that
B) If you want to Overclock something
I dont know what your ‘frend’ was doing but if that hapened he is stupid… whait no retarded
http://www.yaplakal.com/forum27/st/0/topic122130.html?hl=&#entry1547778
Tristan, you will be doing both Christians and Linux a favor if you delete this nonsense and don’t do it again. No one is picking on you simply because they disagree with you. Your comments are like the babbling of an idiot. You really, sincerely are totally wrong in all you say about Linux and Windows. I suspect you think you are really standing up for truth but you are just plain, laughably and insanely wrong. As they say, you have no clue at all. You really are making Christians into a laughingstock, and that isn’t right.
hey, it’s my computer!!! i’m joking ;)
this article is full of sh*t!!!
>>I told him that if he upgraded to Vista the virus would be gone.
Maaaan, I don’t care if this is real or not. This guy should be encouraged to write more he is a genius. What a guy.
*raises glass in honor
Hi! Nice site you got there!
[...] God bless America and George W. Bush. I love STR.com, they are just unstoppable! [...]
Shelly/Tristan, personally I think you are geniuses for creating this site. Surely it’s impossible to be so stupid, so I’m giving you credit and assuming you’re doing this for humor’s sake, and possibly to pull public opinion away from republicans. And the poll… rofl. It’s all the homosexuals’ fault I say! Thanks for the entertainment.
To the less computer educated masses, I would like to say this: if you want to learn a lot about computers, use linux. It does requires a learning curve and you will be forced to educate yourself if you want to configure your system in a custom manner. If you want things to be easy and hidden from you, use windows. It is possible, if you know what you’re doing and configure the system properly, to never get viruses on windows. I haven’t gotten one in 5 years, not even using antivirus software (just the free online scan every now and then). Both have their place in the world. Just like learning a foreign language, learning how to use linux WILL make you a more competent windows user, guaranteed. Both OSes have the same basic concepts and techniques at the lowest abstract level (e.g. sockets, files, pipes, semaphores, memory management/virtual RAM), they just differ in “vocabulary” (ls versus dir, fork versus CreateProcess, etc). FYI there is also a movement among the software community to make applications portable to multiple operating systems, such that linux AND windows users can use the same software. I think this is great. There is also open source, free licensed software developed for windows all the time which can do as much, if not more, than many paid programs, just with a different user interface that may require some technical knowledge. To sum up, I encourage people to keep an open mind and identify your computing needs before you completely rule one system out.
“Vista includes an all-new sercurity system called TCP/IP which will no doubt stump foreign hackers for years.”
TCP/IP is a communication protocol developed in the early 1970’s by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, in the United States. All operating systems use it nowadays.
“A client of mine had a Linux computer which had a virus called ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Fur Elise?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? which caused the computer to play random melodies through it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s speaker”
No such thing exists, in not one virus database in the world.
“I told him that if he upgraded to Vista the virus would be gone.”
Virus checking would be enough. For an inexistent virus, though, maybe not. You have to buy a brain to remove that.
“Unfortunately he failed to heed my advice, and days later the PC?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s cheap foreign-made CPU had completely burned out.”
No, that was your brain.
Uh, guys, I think this was a joke.
Oh dear. Us Europeans are threatening you with Linux are we? Yet my computer, and almost every other in my town, runs Windows. I do have another computer which runs Ubuntu Linux 6.06. Thats right. The “satanic” Ubuntu. When running windows the computer crashed, a lot. I put Ubuntu on it and now it works seamlessly.
Also, do a Youtube search for Ubuntu Linux effects. Can Vista do that?
And TCP/IP are addresses registered to a computer when they’re connecting to the internet. The addresses are used to identify your computer.
In Todays world, THERE IS NO PROFESSOR in IT. everyone is a professor of somekind today… Stop being so self-proud, it’s generally wrong. Windows will fade out, it’s just a matter of time, if you look at growth velocity, it’s not that hard to determine, specially with DRM and SPP implemented in VISTA.
BTW, about the SECURITY windows VISTA has, I wonder how hackers developed a programm to Overwhelm and bridge over DRM protection!!!!!!!!!
This ones for Tristan, He’ll probably never read it but I can always dream.
This article is disturbing and clearly highlights the blind zealot nature of fundamentalist Americans.
You seem so confused and misinformed about your environment Tristan it is a shame that the one person who could help you cannot, because your probably to busy shouting at him ‘THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR OUR GREAT MIGHT AND RIGHTEOUS COUNTRY’ to just stop and hear the common sense. Use your god given intellect to look and learn what your country really is, and what its dark agendas are.
Tristan, thanks for Truth. Where I can purchase presented hi-tech european computers? In my small country is avaialable only older models (as you can see at http://www.digitron.cz/periferie.htm and http://www.sweb.cz/balek.v/cs%20pocitace/picture/8bity/iq151/iq151.jpg )
Our vilage peoples hate vista and its TCP/IP security system, but they just now implemented similar secured network protocol CPIP as described in RFC1149 http://www.faqs.org/rfcs/rfc1149.html
Thank You.
Hi, maybe you should know, that your website is running at linux machine same as thousands others. Sorry for my English ;-)
See you in hell which is full of blue screens of death
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