True American Heroes, nobody messes with them!
Dear Friends
I just had a very intense dream. Terrorist killers came to my home town Iowa City and killed my family and friends and they captured me and were putting a camera in my face and started to torture me. I cried out: “Lord save me, kill the terrorist muslims now!” and they laughed at me and started to choke me do death in front of the camera. But then… Jesus came along and he was holding a big American machine gun and killed them all, he had long brown hair and a mild heroic smile on his face, he was sweating lightly and he was so handsome. The terrorist killers shot at him but the bullets just bounced from his firm skin. After he killed them all, he came to me and said: “Don’t fear the terrorist killers, my child. We will fight hand in hand until there are no more.” … And then I woke up.
I just had to share this dream with you and my thought afterwards. I am sure you are familiar with the “Rambo”-movies: “Rambo: First Blood”, “Rambo: First Blood Part II” ,”Rambo III”. In my opinion this cool guy, ‘John J. Rambo’ is the modern day Jesus. Think about it. He is kind, he is loving, a great family man but when all the love and kindness don’t bring results he does whatever is necessary to make it right!
Below: Jesus Christ : Kind, loving son of God but no question about it, he can be a tough guy!
I am sure if you are a liberal democ-rat this article will be shocking to you but this is how Jesus really is, this is the reality. If you can’t accept it you are not a true Christian.
By the way, the new Rambo movie: “Rambo IV: Holy War” will be released next year and I am really looking forward to it!
God bless America, God bless the American values!
Shelley Goodman
Pictures sources: Rambo: Paramount Pictures / Jesus: Unkown
Coming up next: We have to start arresting liberals, it’s now or never. Stay tuned.
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Dear Shelly,
Maybe you forgot along the way, that John J. Rambo is a german-native american crossbreed. I am not sure you love that idea in your wet dream of the “american Jesus”.
Rambo is German? Don’t make me laugh.
Not german, but with german ancestors
Maybe you don’t know, but also your ancestors came from europe once (if you’re white)
btw: Isn’t Trautman a german name, too?
Jesus was not American. If anything, I’m sure he would be pushed to kill a racist like you than anything you’ve mentioned in your “dream”.
Sylvester Stallone was born in NY, but got an italien ancestry. nothing german there, although the name “Rambo” could be derived form the old high german name “Rambo” (also Rambod, Rambald, Rambert or Rambold), which is related to “bald”(bold), but that seems very far fetched to me.
very scaring, this shelly supporting information is form wikipedia.
Isn’t it Rambo III where Rambo goes to Afghanistan and seek help from Taliban (Mujahideen) to free is colonel ?
Aren’t they the same taliban who then attacked New York City ?
No Shelley, Rambo is a FICTIONAL character… “Ok, class, let’s try it again: Movies are representations of reality; Reality is what people like Shelley & Co. are denying” – No, you make me laugh!
Actually he is half native American and half German. You should watch the movies instead of just writing about them.^^
It’s hardly surprising that the fundamentalists spit on the words of the bible once again:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:21-23)
Doesn’t say much about waging war and killing people, does it.
“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)
“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” (James 1:19-20)
“But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger.” (Romans 2:8)
See? Cruelty is not the way of God.
Of course, the fundamentalist Christians know all that, but they keep ignoring it in their hateful attitudes.
In the movie Rambo 2 “Colonel Trautman” (the grey haired guy on that one photo you posted) explains Rambo?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s character to that guy “Marshall Murdock” telling him that John J. Rambo was a “German-Native American crossbreed” – It always made me laugh the most violent combination in genes the authors could think of was that mixture :D
I love your work. The picture of Jesus wielding his fist is especially powerful. Perfection. I nominate you for “best blog narrative that advocates a revival of true religious sensibilities.”
What the fuck?! Jesus doesn’t run around and kill people. He loves all of us. That’s what it says in the bible, fool.
See Biography
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sylvester_Stallone
Rambo is German. End of story.
And guess what? Jesus is WHITE! Another victory for the True Christians ™ and Christian Fascism!
The problem is that people like Shelley and his conservative friends never read the new testament. They only knew the old one…
Greetz
Trench
You should take the pills the
doctor gave you and never forget them.
I pity your sons and daughters.
Rambo is a Swedish surname. :-D
You do realize Jesus looked a lot like those pictures of supposed terrorists you post here. If a middle easten man came to your door wearing robes you would probably shoot first and find out later it was the risen lord come to see you.
Nope, I agree 100% with this article. I really can’t fault them here, what they say is just true.
They totally stole my idea for this article though. Actually, I’m a bit pissed off about that. Shelley deleted the article with my “Second Coming of Jesus” theory, and then stole my idea. You bastard imbreds! Quit nicking my stuff!
i love linux! linux makes me wet!
Antifascist
I have something for you.
http://www.kuleuven.be/thomas/actualiteit/indekijker/15/impulsen3.htm
And yes it is in german but there is one picture about mid page on the right which is in english.
@left: It’s not German, it’s Dutch.
You know I could have sworn I saw something in a big old book somewhere that says “Thou shalt not kill….”, “Turn the other cheek…..”, “The meek shall inherit the Earth”. (I think the inherit bit means a little more than a 6ft long by 6ft deep by 2ft wide).
Now what the hell was the title again. Great read if a little phallo-centric from time to time.
TTFN
No it’s not in German it’s Flemmish.
It’s Belgian page and it’s not in French or German.
Well the problem the problem with Shelley and alikes is they read what they like in the Book and take out those bits and use for their own purposes.
They don’t get the whole picture.
“.. Jesus came along and he was holding a big American machine gun and killed them all,..”
Ever read the bible?
But: “You are innocent when you dream” (Tom Waits)
You need a liberal artist to get salvation.
Greetings:
Peter K.
PS: Jesus was not a White Guy. :)
This site makes me wanna take off my Christian cross and let it disappear in a drawer forever, satire or not. =(
Joke or no joke I find the picture of Jesus holding a firearm quite disturbing, if not offensive.
I am an athiest by the way.
WTF!!! Are you really comparing Rambo to Jesus?!?!? That is the most fucking stupid thing i’ve ever heard! Thanks for the laugh!
Now you MUST have reached the limit of you stupidity and Blasphemy….The picture of JESUS WITH A GUN, BIG BEARD, WHITE ROPE… YOU ARE PORTRAYING OUR SAVIOUR just like a Muslim fanatic…
Now you most certainly will burn in fiery pits of HELL….
Shame on you S HELL EY…
havent we told you before not to foprget to cover your ass when you sleep, this is what causes such dreams.
this is insane…are you for real..I can?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t believe my eyes. Obvoiusly you have a store but no one?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s shopping there..get it!!! Shelley, your not the fastest bike on the pier!!!
Really amazing! Keep working. I enjoyed me visit.
you can be funny but joke apart, your dream might come from devil while you think it’s from the right source. may God help you.
Jezus was in fact, black/tanned…… uuhhmmm yeah, and he wasn’t born during christmas… why would people be harvesting their crops during the winter? Jezus, just like the people that currently live in Palestine would look more like your stereotypical terrorists then your average white loving LAPD officer.
Jesus holding a shotgun???
You.are.a.freak.
Dearest Shelley,
I think we are very similar! I too am a Christian. And I love the Bible. And I don’t really know what Jesus looked like… though I often dream about Him. Usually my dreams occur while I am awake, however.
I just want to encourage you to continue to search for Truth.
I personally believe in non-violence, but I’ve heard some arguments for violence that at least piqued my interest.
I believe that a terrorist lives inside of each of us. Sometimes I call him Satan. But I like the word Terrorist better. I think it’s scarier…
:D
Peace, my dear. Lots and lots of peace.