Astronomy: Junk Science
I often wonder why astronomers are given such an easy ride. Their “science” is every bit as bogus as environmentalists (the guys who believe in global warming), and geologists (the idiots who think that the earth is millions of years old). After reading Anne Coulter’s excellent book “Godless” (reviewed recently) I began thinking about some of the kinds of junk-science invented by crazy liberal scientists in order to try to prove the Bible wrong. One of her most inspired chapters is an exploration of the “church of liberalism”, the collection of perverse set of pseudo-scientific beliefs that make up the crazy world-view of the liberal. Perhaps the strangest belief is that Astronomy (stargazing) can reveal anything at all about the origins of the universe.
The golden age of astronomy; A time when astronomers knew their limits.
Hundreds of years ago, astronomy was a diverting curiosity which served some important spiritual and commercial purposes. For example, astronomers were able to calculate the position of the “wandering star” that guided the three kings to the Christ-child’s manger. Having identified exactly which celestial body the kings had been following the astronomers proved that the biblical account of Christ’s birth was true, beyond all reasonable doubt.
We can also thank astronomers for producing star-charts that helped people navigate their wooden ships long before the existence of GPS and other modern navigational aids. The ships that took the Founding Fathers to to America were guided by charts made by some of the wisest astronomers that ever lived. This was truly a golden-age of astronomy, an age in which Astronomers knew their place and were wise enough not to set themselves above God.
Unfortunately, Astronomy’s golden luster has been tarnished somewhat by it’s associations with the fringe liberal junk-sciences of “evolutionary biology” and “geology”. Together, these “sciences” make a habit of issuing preposterous claims that disprove the Biblical account of the creation of the universe.
The modern-day astronomer is far-removed from his telescope-gazing ancestor. Picture a pot-smoking liberal, employed by a slack-moraled blue-state College. He may may never even look at the sky, preferring the company of their chalk-boards and computers. He has become far-removed from the majesty of creation, and it’s no wonder he fails to appreciate that only God could have created such splendor. Instead he offers nonsense theories involving “big-bangs”, “black-holes” and other such science-fiction absurdities.
Astronomers are able to command immense budgets to fund vanity-projects such as “orbital telescopes” and “super-coliders”, which are merely over-priced wrecking-balls designed to smash atoms together. You may wonder why astronomers need concern themselves with the minute - this is because they have fallen prey to a very typical liberal fallacy: Just like the liberal believes that you can reduce crime by being soft on criminals, the liberal astronomer thinks that you can study big objects by fantisizing about tiny ones. Perhps these looneys have been listening to to much “Escape Pod“.
This would all seem very hilarious, except that these pointless projects are being financed at tax-payer’s expense and at a time of war. That money could be used to finance the War on Terror, which promises to bring eternal peace to our world. Surely, star-gazing and atom-smashing is a trivial use for our nation’s limited resources at a time of war.
One of the most disturbing examples of liberal media gone mad is the “Slacker Astronomy” podcast, which claims to be an informative weekly audio journal of astronomy. This show purports to make astronomy fun. I’m sure somewhere there is a podcaster who would like to make Satanism seem fun, it would be no less damaging. A better way to learn about the universe would be to consult Genesis 1:1.
I know some of you are thinking that Astronomy is no more bizarre than any of the other theories liberals hold. After all, these are the same people who gave us the theories of “global warming” and Darwinian evolution. What harm does yet one more absurd liberal belief do to our country? Actually, there is a big problem: Many of the core beliefs of astronomers have started to infect our schools and colleges. Ask nearly any grade school teacher what a “big bang” is, and they will attempt to baffle you with the zany notion that our Universe was born in a gigantic explosion. Liberal teachers want you to believe that the Universe came from nothing and that before the Universe, there was nothing at all… not even God. Now do you see the problem?
Astronomy, as a science is a spent force. It only exists to further a dangerous liberal agenda. An agenda which has been almost entirely discredited by modern scholars such as Anne Coulter and the STR.com team. The real reason it is so highly funded is as a means of introducing atheism to impressionable teens. Liberals are so sure that astronomy is the best way to exclude God from America. Thats why they are keen to use every available agenda to push their strange ideas. Please dear readers, let us join together to condemn this junk-science and keep our schools free of this menace.
Yours in Christ,
Tristan
Update:
Nicholas from Maine added the following insightful comments on the junk-science that is astronomy:
I hope astronomy will be taught in schools as it is explained in the Bible. You could developped a little more adding that most astronomers do not have any explanation concerning how the sun and the moon where stopped by God. Only D W Patten gave sensible explanation on this matter. He clerverly explained how Mars modified the orbit of the Earth, by God’s will. Although his explanation are very simple (even I, not being a specialist, could understand them), most astronomers do not take Patten seriously and prefer to keep using their stupid complicated models.
You can see how flawed are the thesis of most astronomers by reading Brecht’s Life of Galileo. 4 centuries ago Galileo was already asked how God stopped the sun and the moon and he did not have any explanation, and wanted to keep working on other useless subjects.
Astronomers have not made any progress since then. If you have not read it already, I really recommend you to read “The life of Galileo”. Brecht really managed to show how hypocritical astronomers are, and that they are totally unable to have an objective discussion!
Also, the pretentiousness of the astronomers knows no bound: When Laplace (another crazy euro-trash scientist whose equations are still used in modern science! ) explained to Napol?on how, in his opinion, the world was created, Napoleon asked the only sensible question: “what about God in your model?”. Laplace answered that he “did not need this hypothesis” !
He called God an hypothesis ! If only Napoleon had executed Laplace, we wouldn’t be using Laplace’s equations in all fields of physics. I think astronomers should all be burnt, just like Giordano Bruno.
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Yeah, the Bible says the sun rotates around earth, with the other planets, and that has to be right.
Booktip: Jostein Gaarder - Sophie’s World
Read it, it’s bether than the Bible, because it’s true (100%; except the storry of Sophie, but this isn’t really important anyway)
Hi Tristan.
Ever read about Galileo Galilei ?
Try to figure what’s in common between your article and the story of this great astronomer !
Hey Tristan,
Have you ever heard that astronomy has a strong historical link with islam? That the actual names of the major stars are derived from their arabic names?
Should you conclude that astronomy is actually a terrorist, anti-american science?
Even the great pope John Paul II recognised that the earth was revolving around the sun and not the contrary.
And excuse me, the “big bang” theory and the “darwinian evolution” theory are exactly what they are called: theories. The same goes for the “Creationism” theory and the “intelligent design” theory. In science, there is very, very, very few things that you can call “true”, because a greater truth can always exist. At least that makes scientist opened to dialog, and not stuck on two thousand years old books
Ok, Tristan. Go ahead and believe that the whole Universe revolves around the Earth and then try to explain the cycles of the moon, the tides and even the orbit of the other planets in our solar system! Of course you can’t, but luckily you have your “cosmic clock-maker” God to shore up any lapses in logical thinking… (i.e. I can’t explain that…hmmm, try a supernatural explanation!) - You also say that the same people who brought us the theory of evolution brought us global warming: Do your research, you idiot: (oh yeah, that’s right “research” requires a rational mind!) the two theories were developed nearly one-hundred years apart from each other making the possibility that the “same people” developed both highly improbable! But then again you probably believe that Methuselah was actually 969 years when he died, so that would make it at least possible for Darwin to still be alive when the theory of global warming was formulated.
If you want the USA to return to a state of medieval ignorance, go ahead and spout your tripe! After all the world needs literal-minded ignorami to be the janitors and the other menial laborers, while the rest of us have a bit more awareness of the world around them. You’re sitting on a plateau, unaware (or just in denial) of the gargantuan peaks surrounding you! If the founders of Christianity itself were as narrow-minded as you, they probably never would have discerned themselves from Judaism.
Go on, explain away a science that has been in development since BEFORE the foundation of Christianity and even perhaps before Judaism. I wouldn’t doubt that an idiot like you probably believes Astrology over Astronomy… in fact you probably can’t even explain the difference!
oh yeah, Tristan… were your parents related in any way BEFORE they were married?
TRISTAN! are you completely insane??? relativity, superstring theory, proton research, calculations in red shifting, background radiation AND SO ON is all JUNK SCIENCE?????????
please keep your nose out of topics you simply lack the motivation for to study! every alpha science and whole parts of beta sciences are completely connected, including astronomy so saying it is junk science is denying your fiberoptical connection to the internet!
why is it so great in your opinion for founding fathers to travel US-warts with maps they were to stupid for to calculate and draw for themself?
even the Phenicians were far superior to your founding fathers, even the Normans who started a village were NYC is standing now!
jesus fucking christ you are to stupid to permit to walk around huh,,,
ofcourse our solar system has an ending lifespan! never heard of particle halflife??? if it didn’t excist and the universe was eternal, hiroshima would still be a radiated hellhole and instead of nuclear waste having lifespans of thousands of years, it would NEVER vanish!
as i understand bigbang theory is a THEORY, what’s so difficult about the word?!
the human mind is incapable to see what insects see or to command their own intestants so gee, why it is hard to understand the expanding/collapsing universe i wouldn’t know,,,
maybe the energies involved are to abstract to imagine directly?? yeah that’s alot different from your stupid god everyone’s discussing over and killing people for isn’t it
stupid fucking dickhead i’m realy angry now so thank you for that
DEAR SHELLEY!!
I have just read something really vicious spread by the liberals!!!
Stephen Hawking, who also protested against the Iraq war and is therefore a disgusting liberal, has been telling people with glee how he defied God’s instructions.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,199673,00.html
I urge you to write about this and pray for his soul.
you know, i can’t actually tell whether this is the best satirical website ever, or just frighteningly ignorant. either way its amusing reading, for all the wrong reasons. keep up the good/awful work!
Dear Tristan,
I agree with you the actual astronomers couldn’t be more wrong. In fact Earth is not a sphere but quite like a mushroom. And of course the sun rotates around us. This theory was developped by Pierre Gripari, a brilliant writer. The santa anna reached the border of the world and Colomb pretended having found the America to justify the investment to his queen. Then the catholics saw an opportunity to make money by raising funds to conquer this “new world”, the rest is history. So it is obvious that America does not exist, and that YOU, Tristan is a fraud. I suspect that you are a communist slave chained in Cuba and forced to write your website by the catholic mafia.
God bless you,
Tycho
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Einstein was one of the most brilliant people ever. Yet he conceded that there had to be a god. See, you can believe in these things and still have faith.
Eh?
Start learning physics woman…
I’m sorry, did I miss something? On what or whose authority do you have it that anything in the Bible-and exactly which version-is “100% true”? Did God Himself come down from the heavens and announce this to you personally, or are you just assuming it’s inherent truth? Or, more likely, are you simply dismissing what you call “junk science” because you don’t understand it? I admit, not every scientific theory turns out to be correct; however, that’s why it’s called a “theory” (i.e. the “theory” of Intelligent Design-which is, conveniently, not able to withstand ANY scrunity, scientific or philosophical) and also why “reasearch” is done to determine the “validity” of said theory or theories. This is known as the “Scientific Method”, and has been around in one form or the other since the first human asked a question about how something might work. I simply cannot understand why some people among us not only choose to be ignorant, but willfully so and furthermore, why so many of these same people want this willfull ignorance to be all-pervasive. Oh, and Anne Coulter is not a “scholar”, she is simply an opportunist. I’m certain that if there was more money to be made in peddling extreme liberalism she would be at the forefront of the far-left ideological debate.
I we were listening to people like you we would burn women on flaming pilar … you know, something called “middle-age”.
Progress is not very good all the time but is something that helped humanity staying alive .
As usual, I’ve gotta be the voice of dissent. The Bible doesn’t claim the Earth is flat, or that the sun revoles around it. The Bible is full of scientific FACT that was proven by science thousands of years later. The Bible says that the Earth is spherical (Isaiah 40:21-22), and says nothing about the Sun revolving around the Earth. If you think the Bible contridicts science, you’ve not read the Bible.
Actually, the Bible is the reason for many of the scientific laws that we have today. People like Galileo and Newton were CHRISTIANS who studied the Bible and came to the conclusion that God is an orderly God, and that He must have rules that govern the universe and it’s behavior.
In fact…
And AS A PRIEST TOLD ME parts of the Bible like Genesis MUST be interpreted.
(btw there are two Genesis there)
Lol the golden age of astronomy is right. These days, it is all speculation. Why are there so many blue stars, and so few red stars? Think about that!
go josh.
screw the rest of you.
from,
the anti-re-pube-lickin
I’m from Poland (the country in the middle of Europe). I have to admit that education in US is much worse than in all Europe. I can’t imagine how you can learn your children the creationism theory on secular lessons!? This could be completly imposibble in Europe (not including a religion education). How can you depend your knowledge on the thousends years old book and still think that Earth is 4 thousends years old! It’ s pathology. You should be ashamed of your anti-scientific, catholic-like, republican ideology. I can asure you that majority of Europeans (and Poles too) laugh at both your education methods and your actually president. You have really very good astronomers but you destroys a valid way of educating your youth too. I live in country which is more catholic than US (90% of population). However I can say that even members of the most conservative parties belive in science discoveries.
Sorry for not well known english.
Exactly, josh. It’s just too stupid to be true. I don’t know what happened to Shelley–maybe she got dropped on her head when she was a baby–but when you rely on faith, you can “prove” anything.
Shelley–I suggest that you visit these two websites, and at least TRY to engage in a RATIONAL DEBATE with the residents:
http://infidelguy.com/
http://revolutionaryleft.com/
I am really interested in this page, I mean, I read it everyday and still dont know if it is satirical (which seems to be obivous) or truth (which would produce me a dying of laughter), so I would thank any of you to tell me.
God, it CANT BE TRUE
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH
astronomy…..astrology?
Yeah, I laughed out loud reading this, thinking it was satire, but if it’s meant seriously then my oh my do I fear for the future of the human race… How absolutely moronic do you have to be to write this and believe it?!
Now that I\’ve read more of the site I\’m pretty convinced it is pure satire - which makes it hilarious and very well done. Scary thing is though, too many of these right wing blogs are dead serious.
why can’t you just accept these theories? ok, so in the bible it doesnt mention the big bang. but it doesnt actually explain the method god used to create the world does it? it just says he did it. so maybe he used a big bang.(no point being god if you cant be impressive) maybe it isnt written in the bible because, lets face it, who would read it? if it was three times as long as it already is and full of science, christianity wouldnt be a very popular religion would it? maybe they just left out the boring bits.
“An agenda which has been almost entirely discredited by modern scholars such as Anne Coulter”
What!?!?!
I hope you’re kidding. I really do. What business does Anne Coulter have trying to discredit astrophysicists? The people behind the research involving astronomy are some of the most brilliant minds to have ever lived.
And hiding behind the Bible doesn’t disprove anything. The problem with the Bible is that it stops people from thinking because you believe it has all the answers.
I’ve got one word for you that the Bible has absolutly no answer for. It will prove the Bible doesn’t have all the answers, and that we as humans need to be inquisitive rather than close-minded. If you can explain this word using the words of the Bible, I’ll renounce science, go to church on Sunday, and register as a Republican on Monday. That word is…
Dinosaur.
If NASA followed the Bible when they built the shuttle, well every astronaut would be dead by now.
It’s not us smart liberals fault if you just can’t understand the true message behind Genesis.
Idiots.
Dear Shelley, Tristan!
I have to tell you… God doesn’t exist!
Satan
Your stupidity has driven me to the brink of insanity. If I had to talk to you face to face, I think I would kill myself. All I can say is: Great, dipshit, now that you have condemned science, you should begin discrediting gastropods because they do not thank God every time their shell saves them from a potential threat. Do the world a favour and shut up.
In case you are thinking of condemning this comment as well, I must inform you that I am not a Liberal, or a member of any other political faction. I’m just an ass.
Those crazy librils think the earth goes around the sun, to!!!??!??! How did they get tht idea when the bible clerly states the opposite.
Thx Shelley & Tristan!!!!!!!!!
Wow, thanks, this really boosted my will and enthusiasm to finish my masters degree in astrophysics. Keep up! :D
A-Fucking-mazing, i love this site, best satire ever….wait…let me guess, the next article will attack biology and medical science for ‘un-godliness’?? maybe computer science for inveting the internet which promotes the liberal agenda? or maybe an article on Aryan supremacy?? Anti-Semetic articles?? Shelley and tristan you guys are comic genius or good candidates for cannon fodder in Iraq
i just read the update and i ask myself why god should’ve stopped the sun and moon. everything is moving in the universe. the moon is a piece of earth. you don’t need earth-mars catastrophics because there is an asteroid belt between mars and jupiter that could’ve been a former planet.
telling me god stopped the sun and the moon is the same as reading in the bible the allmighty and allknowing god regrets making mankind and causes a planet-wide flood to drawn them and the giants spawned by angel and human intercourse,,,
?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?The guys who believe in global warming?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? are right.
?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?the idiots who think that the earth is millions of years old?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?
Actually, Earth is 4.5 billions years old.
Hi,
(As my nick implies I’ll talk as scientist and atheist)
Do you read???
Is it true your education level is sooooo low that even here in central america we learn science since childhood and you don’t?
A historical book as the bible is an allegoric representation of the time about beliefs, nothing that can be seriously taken as a complete explanation.
Just follow this line of reasoning of Giordano Bruno:
“God is omniscient, perfect, and omnipotent and the universe is infinite. If God is all-knowing, he must be able to think of everything, including whatever I am thinking. Since God is perfect and completely actualized, he must create what he thinks. I can imagine an infinite number of worlds like the earth, with a Garden of Eden on each one. In all these Gardens of Eden, half the Adams and Eves will not eat the fruit of knowledge, but half will. But half of infinity is infinity, so an infinite number of worlds will fall from grace and there will be an infinite number of crucifixions. Therefore, either there is one unique Jesus who goes from one world to another, or there are an infinite number of Jesuses. Since a single Jesus visiting an infinite number of earths one at a time would take an infinite amount of time, there must be an infinite number of Jesuses. Therefore, God must create an infinite number of Christs.”
Great work, this is hilarious.
To say that astronomy is a “junk science” carries serious implications. I don’t deny that it’s your opinion, but to state what you did implies that you can prove every claim that astronomers have ever made are blatantly incorrect. So can you? If you can I’d really be interested in seeing your arguments. Simply saying that astronomy was invented to attempt to prove the Bible wrong is a weak argument at best. To me, that just shows that rather than actually looking at astronomy with an open mind, you’re blinded and biased by religion and your political affiliation.
OK, I realize that the last thing you want to do is confuse the issue with the facts, and that listening to other people’s viewpoints is a mortal sin, but if you are at all interested in this topic, I highly recommend the book Genesis and the Big Bang: The Discovery of Harmony Between Modern Science and the Bible by Gerald L. Schroeder. He points out that science and Genesis really aren’t that far off (including finding a Biblical scholar from around 1200 who studied the Hebrew Biblical texts and concluded that “in the beginning”, all of creation was compressed into a very small spot, smaller than a mustard seed… I don’t know how he figured that out 800 years ago, but that sounds an awful lot like the Big Bang theory).
If you can’t be bothered to find (or read) a copy of the book, then I have an alternative, although it isn’t nearly as good or as complete. I used that same book as the basis for a term paper that I wrote for my “Intro to Religion” class at a private, Baptist-based college. I might point out that I got an A- on the paper. You can find that at http://www.corfyscorner.com/term.shtm. Granted, I did write this over 10 years ago, but the ideas still stand.
Oops, I meant to say “Baptist-afiliated”, not “Baptist-based.” Sorry about that.
Hi Shelley,
Your booktip is a little Mistake. Bertold Brecht was a german Communist, who had Trouble with the FBI in the year 1946.
From your point of view was this great Writer the Antichrist.
Common and read more than Tom Clancy and the Bible.
hi Shelley and Tristan,
if you want to discover the universe from the TRUE astronomers, you should watch this documentary:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/elegant/program.html
yours in Christ,
Heady :-D
Shelley
I believe in evolution because I personally evolved from a lower life form–I used to be a Republican.
Please evolve too!
I LOVE YOU ALL, YOUR RETARDED CONVICTIONS AMUSE ME!!!!!!! Why are you incapable of rational thinking??? You people speak out against retards and mentally disabled people, yet you are also mentally retarded, since you are not fulfilling the function of using your brain in the correct, rational and logical way….i.e. being ‘good’ at being human, since a the human function is to think rationally with our brains, thats why we have EVOLVED them.