The World Cup starts today : Should you be excited? No!
So what?s all this stuff about the so-called ?football”?, so-called ?world cup”??
According to online liberal propaganda databank Wikipedia, it?s ?the most important competition in international football”?. (Wikipedia article)
Point one: It isn?t football, it?s soccer.
Point two: How can it be important, or even called the World Cup if no one?s ever heard of it?
The “World Cup”. Hardly impressive
Seriously, I?ve called all my friends now and they all think I?m crazy for even asking about this World Cup. When I tell them it doesn?t even have a single NFL team in it they just start laughing at me. ?Who cares??” they ask. Generally, I?d agree and say ?I certainly don?t,” but there?s more to this sinister ?World Cup? than I think most God-fearing Americans are aware.
Like most people, I didn?t even know it existed until I overheard one of my nieces (who, incidentally, I fear is turning into a liberal ? I?m sorry to have to admit that) talking about it with one of her friends.
My niece said she?d seen a picture of a ?footballer” (shouldn?t that be ?soccer-er”??) called David Beckham and that this Beckham has ?a cute butt.” Of course at this point I ?butted in” (Haha! See! We Christians like to laugh too!!) to stop her dirty mouth. But (!) then she just started talking to me about this World Cup as if I?d know what it was. She even asked if I was going to be watching and who I was going to ?support” once the ?USA gets knocked out.”
I didn?t like her attitude and I told her so, inwardly shuddering at the thought of the USA getting knocked out of anything.
When she told me that I had to ?get with it” that was very much the end of the conversation. But I did decide that the subject needed more investigation.
First of all I looked up this David Beckham man, and this is what I found:
David Beckham is the one on the right. I don?t think there?s any need to dignify this picture with further comment. Players act like this in stadiums in front of thousands of fans, many of them children.
Basically, from what I could work out, this soccer is just American football for fags. It?s a no contact sport (no contact while the ball is in play anyway; afterwards it?s seems to be all the players can do to keep their hands off each other) and it?s so sappy that they don?t even need to wear helmets or body armor.
It seems to me to be nothing more than a way for liberal propagandists to fill television screens around the world with unholy man-love and to promote the idea that Brazilians are actually good at something other than living in slums and voting in Communist rulers. (Brazil always seem to win the ?World Cup”, although I?m led to believe that this means nothing as the whole thing is fixed by the mafia).
The Brazil national soccer team scores a goal in Haiti. Are they cheating? Probably.
Meanwhile, back at home they are ruled by this grinning communist.
And ?home? is a trashcan.
Of course, by this time I was pretty disgusted, but knowing how liberals always like to pretend that we God-fearing Christians don?t know what we?re talking about, and knowing that you should always know your enemy, I even decided to watch a match of soccer.
Let me tell you, it was one of the most boring things that I have seen. It lasted for 90 minutes and only one point was scored in the whole darned thing. How is that exciting?
Anyway, I was shocked to realise that the USA is actually going to be appearing with a team at this big tournament that no one has heard of. What?s more not one player in this so-called ?USA” team is at all famous. Ridiculous. There?s not one well-known sportsman among them. Ok, I admit it?s unreasonable to expect Michael Jordan to come out of retirement or anything, but I hardly think this team represents American sporting prowess at it?s best!
And that?s the whole idea!
It?s just another liberal plot to make the USA look less good than it really is. The football ?experts? are united in their opinion that the USA team won?t win this tournament.
It?s not like any other USA team I?ve heard of then!!
I?m sure you?ll agree that this is suspicious.
Finally, and most sickeningly of all, I realized that the whole thing is due to be held in Germany. That?s right. The World Cup(ped) in Germany?s greedy hands. I?ll bet Adolf Hitler would have loved that.
Germany: Didn?t we have to bomb that place already?
Mind you, I reckon you all must know what happened the last time Team USA went to Germany. ?On second thoughts, perhaps this ?World Cup” could be worth watching after all?!
May God bless you all,
Samuel Luke Johnston
Website: In The Holy Name of God
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yeah i doesn’t interest me neither:-) nor the cycling.
but actualy, football is a refining of an old sport played in the middle ages/late middle ages (when it was banned by the church) where sometimes whole villages tried by any means to get a ball in one others camp. pretty violent game and it’s interesting to see your american football stands closer to it then our football.
you have world series too, in baseball, in american football, and hardly anyone here watches it. and it has been tried to broadcast it but it wasn’t worth the effort.
now i’m not saying that proofs it’s a worthless game; i’m only saying taste differs.
btw Samuel, is there a handbook out there named “God-inspired writings for dummies”? ’cause damn the bunch of you are probably learning it by heart:-D
Oh Shelley… just because YOU haven’t heard of the World Championships, it doesn’t necessarily mean that no one else has. I expect the things you have never heard of would fill several books, not to say whole libraries. Only because this is one thing that America is not the top banana in, you dismiss it as a gay sport and to be manipulated by the mafia… you’re being a bit paranoid, don’t you think? This event is supposed to provide more understandung between the different countries participating and people like you ruin that… start thinking…
Hi Samuel,
just so you know, just because most people in the States haven’t heard about this football that doesn’t mean its not the most popular game on earth. In nearly every other country football ist more popular than your beloved Basketball, Baseball and so on.
As for the name of the game: Great Britain was there long before anyone even knew about the USA and so was football, though it wasn’t actually invented by the British but by the Italians (Ever heard of Calcio?). You just took that name and invented your own Football (which is more similar to Rugby, but more or less without the tactics and just brutal).
As for your suggestion that Michael Jordan should play this game: Ridiculous, haven’t you heard? You should actually have the hang of a game if you want to play it propertly, especially in a high-class international tournament…
Ah, and if i recall correctly: You Americans have a “World Cup” or something like that for one of your games that the WHOLE REST of the world has never heard of, nor played.
So argue as much as you want, the FIFA Football World-Cup is the most important Sports event this year, just because the lowly Americans are no good at it doesn’t mean its not.
And just btw: I’m German, and i dont like the way you talk about my country. As for Hitler: Yeah, he would’ve loved it, but thankfully he is long dead. (Which we have you thank for, so don’t think i don’t appreciate everything that your country has done for mine…)
Hahaha. That was a funny article. Anyway, Beckham isn’t really gay, though. He’s married to one of the Spice Girls, who are probably also evil according to you. Anything non-American obviously is, of course.
Anyway, you claim soccer is a sissy sport because there’s no contact or body protection needed. Wow, I wonder what that makes baseball, or basketball, neither of which are contact sports either. In fact, soccer players are gutsier and manlier sportsmen than baseball or basketball players. They endure gruelling 90 minute games and sustain much worse injuries than basketball or baseball players. Do baseball players even sustain any injuries ? Yeah, perhaps their sissy little arms begin to hurt from swinging those wussy little bats, most of which are filled with cork, anyway.
Anyway, your attack on the world cup was funny, you guys have sunk to a new low. But it comes as no surprise, the fundamental premise of this blog is its shock value. I’m not even sure whether y’all are actual conservatives or just liberals trying to be funny. Who cares, it’s still funny and I come here everyday to see the new batch of verbal diarrhea you’ve spilled.
But seriously, you guys should really do an article on the Ann Coulter thing, you know she has a new book out, in which some 9/11 widows are the focus of her ire. That Coulter broad sure knows how to sell books; she intentionally focuses on provocative issues and her choice of words is precisely calculated to generate tons of controversy, and consequently, publicity. If she puts out a few more provocative books like this, I bet you she’ll be able to retire as a millionaire. Smart little cookie, that girl. You go, gurl, keep doing your thing, I ain’t mad at ya. A girl’s gotta eat if she’s got no husband to support her. I bet she doesn’t even care about the 9/11 thing, I bet this issue was just what her publisher’s focus group concluded would be the most controversial, book-selling topic. Yes, they had a brainstorming session to decide what would be the most controversial and publicity-generating topic to focus on and this was what they came up with. In reality, Ann Coulter doesn’t give a damn, she’s just out to make a quick buck. And it IS generating a lot of buzz, everyone is talking about it.
Anyway, I can’t wait to see the funny article you guys write up about the Coulter issue. Have you people considered being full-time comedians ? Y’all are a really talented bunch. You do a pretty good caricature of far right wing folks.
Anyways it’s late, I have to go to bed. First thing I’m doing when I wake up is checking up on the blog, and I hope you have something nice and funny for me. Remember, the Ann Coulter thing, work on a blurb about that.
Hi
I agree, the US should stay away from the World Cup. The bunch of faggots you send each time will just embarass you. And it’s not a sport that kills the singular braincell half of americans seem to have inherited from the monkeys they stem from, so in my eyes you’re just a waste of space taking a world cup spot away from far more deserving countries, like Canada. So take you starred and striped arses, and go play football.
And do you think that we care about your thougts?? HA!!! The rest of the world will enjoy a REAL world cup, that is, an sports event that involves teams from over the World (even the USA have a national football team, but they are not very good, because the little support they have in their homeland) and not your “world series” that only involves your own teams.
What you called “world series” is just like our own “Liga Espa??Ǭ±ola” or the “Calcio” in Italy. But you always think that you are the best in the world, when all the world laugh at you.
Somewhere in this blog, your nazi friend Tristan wanted a great wall for keeping all the non USA citizens (not americans, America is more that the USA) out of your beloved USA. I agree with that. But please, also keep all your citizens in, so you don’t infect the world with your stupidity, fanatism and bully shit.
You asame me as a christian I am. That God take care of your souls… you really need it.
ESPA??ɬ´AAAAA!!! ESPA??ɬ´AAAAA!!! ESTE MUNDIAL!! LO VAMOS A GANAR!!!!
Your ignorance reaches incredible levels. I can’t belive what i’m reading.
“Point one: It isn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t football, it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s soccer.”
You understand the fact that the only place where they call soccer is in USA?. Let me tell you a little bit of history, the FIFA (Federation internationale de football association) is the principal organizitation of the football around the world, and the first football rules are 120 year old. Fifa has more than 150 affiliates (countries), so football is older than soccer. How many years old is the NFL? how many affiliates has? how many people watch it?
“Point two: How can it be important, or even called the World Cup if no one?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s ever heard of it?”
That shows us the level of your ignorance. Let me tell you 3 things:
1) The football is the most difunded sport game around the world. Ask anyone imparcial (not friends of yours)
2) The quantity of people who watch the FIFA world Cup is grater than the people who watch NFL Super Bowl + Basketball final game. More people watch this World Cup than the Olympic Games.
3) Where you been in 1994?. You readed any newspaper while June / July of 1994?. You where the host of 1994 FIFA World Cup!!!
I’m sick of reading the “I’m asked all of my friends”. Let me tell you one thing about your friends… they live in a closed bottle, beneath the sea, buried six feet under. You’re a bunch of ignorant people. I understand if you say “I don’t care about the World Cup”, but say that no one cares about this. Is the greates sport event of the year, and the most worldwide TV watched event, more tha Olympic Games. Do you have any minimal idea of how many people gonna watch de Fifa World Cup Final the 9 of July in Berlin?
“Like most people, I didn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t even know it existed until I overheard one of my nieces (who, incidentally, I fear is turning into a liberal ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¨ I?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥m sorry to have to admit that) talking about it with one of her friends.”
You’re like a robot, you only receive order and execute. You can’t think by yourself. Again, the sport most telvised around the world is the less knowed and no one know of their existence.
About the David Beckham photo I don’t see anything out of normal. Imagine me say something like: “President act like this (http://www.taipeitimes.com/images/2004/09/23/20040922184347.jpeg) in fornt of millions, and later throw bombs over schools in Irak, for a later ‘oops’ ”
“Basically, from what I could work out, this soccer is just American football for fags” “it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s so sappy that they don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t even need to wear helmets or body armor.”
Again, you’re so short minded. Do you think the only way to be a real man is crashing heads one each other, and the only way to do Sports is through a contact Sport. A Man as a Gentleman shows inside and outside the football field.
“promote the idea that Brazilians are actually good at something”.
That’s the most stupid, racist comment i ever heard. At least they don’t throw bombs over a school, and later ask for apologies, because a barrel of oil, or because a massive destruction weapon that never exists. Oh, the live in slums because you lead it to that.
“the whole thing is fixed by the mafia”.
Please, first watch a little bit of footbal. Watch the brazilian players play, and you gonna have the exact answer. Oh, and not always Brazil win the world Cup. There was 20 FIFA World Cup (included this), and Brazil only win 5.
“t lasted for 90 minutes and only one point was scored in the whole darned thing. How is that exciting?”
Is an opinion, and is accepted. But more the people who watched the man walk the moon think diffrent.
“Anyway, I was shocked to realise that the USA is actually going to be appearing with a team at this big tournament that no one has heard of”
Remember what I said about the moon, Olympic Games and Basket + NFL?, who is the ignorant.
“What?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s more not one player in this so-called ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?USA??? team is at all famous.”
Who cares about that?, that’s one of the glory of the game. Is a place where people who is starving in Angola equals a million dollar player of England. The play for the beauty of the game, not for money or fame. That’s why this is the worldwide sport by excelence. More people around the world know Ronaldinho or Diego Armando Maradona than Michael Jordan.
“The football ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?experts?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥ are united in their opinion that the USA team won?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t win this tournament. It?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s not like any other USA team I?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥ve heard of then!!. I?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥m sure you?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥ll agree that this is suspicious.”
It is not suspicious. Big surprise, you aren’t the best in everything. Win is not all.
hahaha..oh my GAWD people. THIS IS A JOKE!! I cant believe people in this BLOG are taking this SERIOUSLY. CMON..ITS A JOKE people..stop explaining. If Shelly was serious..do you think she would be sensible enought to write such an article? C’mon she isnt really this DUMB. Its just an article to get people to respond. Shelly must be laughing at all of u idiots right now. Everyone knows football (soccer in the US) is the most popular sport. And EVERYONE knows that NFL is only played in the US.and most of the WORLD HASNT EVEN HEARD of AMERICAN FOOTBALL. Stop explaining urself..u dumb people. Its a Satire. Cant believe so many gullible people exist. Anyways Shelly..great article. As usuall..totally funny. hehe.. :)) Keep it up. Make republican Christain look like duuuuuuuuuuh ! Serious :) later..
Ket
In France, when people speak like you, we say that they are gay, but they don’t want to admit it.
Thinks god ( if one exist) America is far from Europe, and please stay where you are, and if you speak about the name of god, please read again the bible, I m sure you will find some sentences who speak about you, try to search at Idiot or Stupid Devil.
For your information, I m a Tall guy, blond, and white, but I never speak like you, you are racist, a xenophobic (go in dictionary poor guy) but when you speak, like my German brother said you make me think to this small guy, with black hair who’s pretty name was Adolph….Thinks he’s dead, and you, you leave far from us. I?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥m just sorry for the people who have to support you.
My dream is that all that I red here was just a joke or a fake.
And like we said in France to our male friends
Big Bisous connard.
Nico
ET VIVE L EUROPE
Oh and I forgot to say that the SUPERBOWL is only popular in American. People outside the US of A havent even HEARD of the SUPERBOWL and NOBODY CARES!! :)) . later yaaall…
hahaha!
sooooooooooooooo stupid!
thanks shelley for sharing! (I don’t like football but reading this kind of article is very fun).
American people are funny…
They played games like gays : american football with protections ( not like rugby), baseball and basketball with no contact…
Soccer ? too skilled for americans…
Ice hockey ? canadians and many north europeans …
Americans are just good to employ black people to win in athletism…
football in the US is like American football in the rest of the world : nobody play it.
First, a quote by Ben Roethlisberger, wich is a NFL-player (as you know, for sure)
“Newspaper: And how is the Soccer-World Championship been noticed in the USA?
Roethlisberger: Mostly the people know that it will be this summer. Some are more enthusiastic and others less. Surely, we hope for good results for the US.”
(source: http://www.20min.ch/tools/suchen/story/20199371 )
Because all your friends are as ignorant as you, it doesn’t have to be the public opinion!
Second:
Go to http://www.nikefootball.com
Yes, Nike, a reeeaaallll US-company is advertising with …..taraaaa BRASILIANS.. never mind, huh? And after all, it is NIKEFOOTBALL, not NIKESOCCER!
Third AND MOST IMPORTANT
The FIFA World Cup was “held since 1958 alternately in Europe and the Americas” (Source: http://www.fifa.com/en/history/history/0,1283,5,00.html)
And in special: 1994 in the USA..
and by the way, Germany is actually ruled more left than right… But I don’t think you mind, ‘cuz you prefer right! (wich would have been? QUIZ :) )
I had a great laugh! Thank you!
In 7 hours the start of the 1st match, Germany will sure win this game.
I really don’t understand why US citizens call Amercian football “football”, the players take more the ball in their hands than kick the ball with their feet. Is there a problem?
American Football, manly? no way! They are a bunch of sissy. They are too scared of being hurt, they wear protection gears, unlike rugbymen!
Football (you call it soccer, i don’t know why) is by far the more played sport over the world.
It gathers people from all social classes, the poorest like the Brazilians children who live in Favelas [/me is not sure of the orthograph]and the ones who live in more richer places.
Football is played in the five continents : America (even in your beloved USA, but you call it soccer, surely for a stupid reason), Europe, Africa, Asia, Oceania.
But the rugby for sissies, ah excuse me, US football, is played in USA, Canada, Japan, Germany (i just discovered it yesterday, there is a professionnal team in K??ln), else where, i really don’t know. It isn’t very famous.
I wonder what will you say next year for the Rugby’s World Cup.
And i can’t imagine what you will say for the Handball’s World Cup. Do you know it is a German game?
“You understand the fact that the only place where they call soccer is in USA?. Let me tell you a little bit of history, the FIFA (Federation internationale de football association) is the principal organizitation of the football around the world, and the first football rules are 120 year old. Fifa has more than 150 affiliates (countries), so football is older than soccer. How many years old is the NFL? how many affiliates has? how many people watch it?”
This Fifa sounds like the UN of soccer. And as our President has shown, the best thing to do with the UN is completely ignore it and its useless bleating.
An example I’d have done well to take with the rest of your crazy message.
What does this mean for instance:
“I?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥m sick of reading the ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?I?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥m asked all of my friends???. Let me tell you one thing about your friends?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?Ǭ? they live in a closed bottle, beneath the sea, buried six feet under”
??????
!!
???
My friends don’t live in a bottle! And non of them live beneath the sea either (although my cousin has a beach house, something you liberals would probably think is immoral because it’s fun and beautiful).
I hope God will one day take you in his hand and teach you some lessons about life. No one lives under the sea. Except fish. And dolphins.
Thank you for a well researched and clearly argued first contribution to STR.com. I do hope that this will be the first of many.
Tristan
“This Fifa sounds like the UN of soccer. And as our President has shown, the best thing to do with the UN is completely ignore it and its useless bleating.”
one BIIIIIIIG ouch! so: pleasy ask your senator, representativ or whatever to LEAVE the UN! PLEASPLEASEPLEASE, because the US is THE obstacle in this – by far best ever seend by our planet – society.
…welcome to Atlantis
Thank you Tristan! It’s an honor to be weild the sword of truth with you. I hope to write lots more soon!
Sam
Hey Sam!
Are you so stupid, that you don`t even recognise a metaphor?
Why should anybody say a beach on the house is immoral?
Please explain this to me. If you can?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t explain it, my prejudice is right and you are stupid as hell.
i too love fish and would willingly trade my pet goat for one.does it come with its own stand?
Hello,
First off, the USA has a “World Series” that no-one else in the world participates in! Secondly, to say Football (Soccer) is a “fag” sport because there is no contact, makes American Football in relation to European Rugby an EVEN BIGGER “FAGGOT” SPORT, because the precious no-necked American Football players have to wear padding, whereas Rugby is much more violent and they wear no protection. Thirdly, you imply the sexuality of European Football (Soccer) players because of a photo showing them celebrating after a goal. My question is: how many times do you see American Football players slapping each other on the ass after a good play… By your argument, that would make them even more “homosexual” than European Footballers.
The USA HOSTED the World Cup back in 1994! Has your ignorance affected your attention span too! Not surprising as your grasp on world politics and world history reflects a gold-fish’s attention span.
I’m an American and have met people like Shelley and Tristan and this is one of the reasons I left the country. I frankly don’t care for any sport… but your blog was just TOO IGNORANT to go without comment… Unless, of course this is ALL ONE BIG JOKE, and in that case… carry on… you’ve made me laugh!
Oh, and I’m sorry that you have internal “shudders” at the thought of America being “knocked out” of anything… It is JUST a game! Too assume, as you do, that America and Americans are infallible is tantamount to blasphemy at the highest level… It is too bad that such blasphemy is what passes for piety amongst the narrow-minded these days and it is even worse that closed minds are rarely accompanied by CLOSED MOUTHS!
Right on Samuel! It’s high time someone said what we’re all thinking. If nothing else, it’s like a honeypot for these weak minded liberal foreigners. They just can’t help themsleves can they? Write a bit of honest-to-goodness truth and they clamour to kiss Chairman Mao’s butt. A few more of these articles and we’ll have ourselves enough communiks for a hunt. Visit my store for discounted rifles and bibles.
Amen brother
Wow…you even found one more idiot to write in this God Damn Stupid Blog!
Congratulations!
I am looking forward to the FIFA Worldcup in Germany. Like millions of other people around the world too. :-)
Who has written that crap article ? It seems it’s been written by a liberal fag who would like to pretend Republicans are all ignorant close-minded morons !
If the writer is really honnest in this article, let me tell you that it doesn’t help our side to review something he doesn’t even know about. I’ve watched the World Cup in Korea and let me tell you that I had a great time !
It was fantastic to see the US beating the Portuguese and the Poles at a game only few of us actually play. Germans have won against us in quarters with the help of the referee and let me tell you, the US will actually win that stuff this year !
Look guys, a brand new blogger has arrived : Sam Johnston. Hope he is as funny as Shelley & Tristan !
Keep going men, this is the funniest blog ever !
By the way, I’m still waiting for the “Can I get sued for using Linux ?” article. Are you planning to release it soon or what ?
Thanks again for all the fun,
A French Ubuntu Linux user.
Sam I am sorry to say that for a first article that was as stupid as they come. I especilly like who you got to sneak in the word “fag”. I have come to the conclusion that the reason this website gets so many hits, not because people agree with what you are saying but they come to see what ignronace will be posted each day. I see this site as a equal to the Democratic Underground website, most conservative go there for daily laughs and and they come here for the same. No one respects either site.
I agree with the article. Expecially the bit about a man kissing a man in public. What’s wrong with normal christian pursuits, such as donkey love?
You have either just proved beyond any reasonable doubt that Americans have the ability to be very, very funny, or that you are without question the most ignorant set of idiots the world has ever produced.
The mere fact people are outraged makes it all the better.
If you are for real, i would pay good money to meet you.
God doesn’t exist, and you know your cousin FAR FAR too well.
Take care, and enjoy the World Cup.
Love You!!
Sorry Shelley, you’re becoming a bit obvious. Your last three posts smack of desperation and you appear to have lost the just-plausible-enough-to-fool-the-masses parody that made your early posts so readable.
Just who is it that are you parodying these days? It can’t be the right any more as they have all seen through your site and don’t post here any more, so it has to be the left, liberal Europeans, who are the only people who still reply to your posts. Ergo, your clever double bluff did work for a while on three levels (the initial comedy at the expense of those who believed this site was real, then a giggle or two at those who believed it was taking the piss out of pro-Bush rednecks and now the truth, a right wing double bluff designed to mock the only people still fooled by your site, the left-leaning English-as-a-second-language brigade. Sadly, mocking these people in what is not their first language isn’t particularly funny.
3/10, must try harder
Haha…
I bet, you never tought about the possibility, that people like you, living in the past and cursing everything they are not common with, are the reason why your male soccer-team isn?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t that good.
If you want to be isolated on your tiny little continent, then turn your back to the rest of the world – but stop insulting other countries and their inhabitants.
And Shelly: if this is really a fake and just a joke, like some poeple mentioned, then you should turn down a little bit. You?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•re going way to far in insulting other peoples, not just in this article… Things like this deteriorate the reputation of the USA in foreign countries more than you may imagine.
MOUAHAHAHAHA !!!!
After reading this article, I don’t know exactly how to think…
1?Ǭ¨?)Is it a joke, a fake, written only to make readers react violently ? Then you can contact Canal+ for Les Guignols de l’Info, you’ll surely be taken !
2?Ǭ¨?)Or do you really live in a cave ?
In any case, this article seems to have been written by the typical conservative racist WASP, who follow with closed eyes your baka president and never see farther than the point of your nose.
A man kissing an other on the cheek in front off thousands of people… MY GOD THIS IS THE WORK OF THE DEVIL ITSELF !!!!
But at least… this article made me laugh.
Dans le deuxi??ǬÆme cas, retourne dans ton couvent et fait pas chier =)
When you watch the picture of David Beckam above, you can imagine he is homosexual. To help you make out your mind, here is a picture of his wife:
http://www.vbeckham.net/elton/19.jpg
Ha. What a laugh. I hope this is a joke because if it isn’t then u have some serious problems. Lets starts at the begining
Point ONE: It actually is Football. They use there feet to kick a ball around!!!! Not like that dodgy version of Rugby you yanks play where you require helmets and pads so u don’t break a nail.
Point TWO: Of course the americans have never heard of it. You choose to ignore it because u can’t fill it with american teams. How you guys have the nerve to call your tournaments a world series when not other team from another country participates.
As for the rest yes we do remember what happened the last time Team USA went to germany. YOU LOST 4 -0 and if you were refering to WW2 then get over yourself That was a global effort nearly screwed up by you americans.
Well have a good day now you utter moron. And as Grey has said if you are for real you should come over here and do some stand up comedy
Here is an informed site to inform you, and very much like your own
http://spaces.msn.com/ManchesterBuccaneers/
Your email is another great example of why the rest of the world hates America. I laugh at your ignorance as a nation
Perhaps you’re confused because the ’soccer’ World Cup has teams representing different countries in it? Surely the US ‘World’ Series is the real joke when it only has teams representing one country.
Also, it’s only referred to as ’soccer’ in the USA because, strangely, Americans can’t get their head around a game in which the foot makes contact with a ball…. hence FOOT BALL…football.
Besides, when the tournament was held in the USA in 1994 enough people turned up to watch it!
Excellent article. Keep on baiting those with no sense of humour. The responses are almost as good as the original article, especially the Merkins who try and agree with it.
haha no-one’s heard of it.. except the liberals and the rest of the world.
and americans always wonder why the rest of the world hate them. i think you and people like you are to blame for that.
Football was football long before you colonials bastardised rugby and turned it into a game for cokehead steroid abusers.
Billions will watch the World Cup, more than watch the Olympics, and those same billions will put out the bunting when the USA are knocked out in the first round, proving once and for all what a joke the FIFA rankings are.
It should come as no surprise to anyone that an American, particularly a Republican American, has no idea about the world’s game. After all, the chances of her ever having left her own state, let alone travelled abroad, are statistically about as likely as Mike Tyson getting breast cancer.
England will win it, by the way.
Oh, and I happen to live in Brazil. Your snipe at Lula is as distasteful as it is inaccurate.
Brazil has a social democrat government, like the UK or Germany. Lula is an important ally for your president in his ongoing shitfight with Chaves and Morales.
Tone it down a bit, love. You’re starting to all shreak, a bit like AnnCoulter.
Your un-american comments to this holy just and righteous article have been logged by our terrorism prevention department for further investigation.
Any comments deemed hate provoking and hurtful to the freedom and justice of the american way of life will be traced back to source and cross referenced with our terrorist suspect database.
Thank you and may god bless us all (americans that is).
Yours faithfully,
Robert Mueller
Director
Federal Bureau of Investigation
I find it hillarious that anyone would call into question the bravery of football players when the Americans play a version of Rugby for girls and insist on calling it football. Football players or ’soccer’ players as you insist on calling them, regularly get their legs snapped in all manner of nasty ways while playing the game. This is because we don’t cover 90% of our body in padding like the American football wusses insist on. Football or ’soccer’ (ugly word) IS a contact sport, if it weren’t Stuart Pearce would have been jailed for GBH!!!
Furthermore, i’ve known Rugby (The game that came from football, and was copied into a watered down version known as American football) players asked to leave American football fields for being “too rough”.
The nerve of this article calling proper Football players sissys is just astonishing. Get a clue about what you’re talking about before you spout rubbish, you give your countrymen a bad name. Oh and don’t forget to water yourself before the IQ levels drop sub zero.
Hooooohhh, listen to all this shiznitz! :)
Americans – you need to understand america really isn’t the centre of the world.
Rest of World – you need to remember that listening and responding to idiots is something americans do, not you.
And hey Shelly, check this: us rest of world people have this really funny thing we love – he’s called your president. He’s *your* representative to the world. And his actions illustrate to us how *you* really are. (You do realise this don’t you?) Regardless of your personal political stance, it is americans and your system which lets you cheat votes (like every country in the world!) which voted him in. So you’re responsible for his power and you take the flak my friend!
In your esteemed brainy leader’s own words:
“You never know what your history is going to be like until long after you’re gone.” Bush, Washington D.C., May 5, 2006
Ahhh, we can only sit back and wait :)
As I thought, some americans are really stupid. A stupid president, a stupid politics…. In fact it’s normal that you are bored when you watch a soccer’s game. You don’t understand the beauty of this sport!!!!
I hope you will open you mind to the world and tell you that your are not alone, and are not the “king of the world”. As we said in french : “On r??Ǭ©colte ce qu’on a sem??Ǭ©”. Et avec ce que vous semez, vous allez en prendre plein la geule dans les ann??Ǭ©es ??¢‚Ǩ¬† venir… Sinon, bonne coupe du monde et vive les bleus yeahhhh :-)
this is one of the funniest things i have read in a while.
1. the original comments by shelley are just entered to cause an argument (WELL DONE SHELLEY) lol
2. the funny but sad thing is those comments are truely thought by a lot of ‘americans’
3. football (best sport in the world) come on ENGLAND!!!
yeah, funny enough, *merkinz* are playing in the world cup. even funnier, the usa has hosted the world cup before. so if anyone in there heard of it yet, how (or why) have they got their nose into it once again?
You should come to Germany so that i can throw plastic chairs and bottles at you
You americans defenetly are great humorists… coz’ it’s a joke, is it ? Please don’t tell me you really mean one single word of what you and your friends wroted about this…
The light of God bright so much upon you, that you turned blind after all… And be careful about blindness, it just drives you into walls…
Stupid bitch.
Do one ya stupid yanks! you know sweet f.a.
You must be very annoying and american are not the single human genre in the earth.
Other people from many other country may think different from you.
You are not single here !!!
And your god and all bullshit prayer butts are very annoying too !!
Please give me the phone of your niece, she is looking great :)
tizzef
PS American are not the single culture (or no-culture) in the earth.
please anwser in French, as can you see my english is poor !!
Fuck GOD(s) !!
By the way, this world cup is the second biggest competition in the world. The biggest are the Olympic Games, the third biggest are Paralympics (although I think, you don’t know this competitions,too).
And it’s typical for you that you’ve never heard of the Football-World-Cup, because you aren’t the most intelligent person.
That was really funny to read. Thanks for a few minutes of good laughter.
The truth is that there are actually two games of the same origin: football for those who got brains and rugby for those who got guts. But since there are lots of people who got neither, a third game was invented: an american “football”.
No brains, no guts = american? That must be a liberal conspiracy to badmouth this great country!
Heh heh…not surprised that one-eyed inbreds from the shittiest parts of the USA don’t get football while the rest of the world loves it. God hates Republicans – that’s why he made you STUPID.
now I understand why bush is the president of USA…. people… like… you…
Patrick Camus:
Je ne vais pas te donner le numero de ma niece. Mon Dieu. Mon Bon Dieu. Tu m’ as fache. C’est degoutant. Ugh!
Haha.
Actually, I don’t speak French,(why bother when only French people speak it! and as you’ve proved, I don’t want to speak to them!) But my old high school teacher Mr Joe MaCoe does speak French and wrote that for me in an email. He is a man of God too, in spite of his liking for you cheese eating surrender monkeys, and he was disgusted at the things you say.
He told me to ‘tutoyer’ you too, whatever that means, as he said you are probably a communist and like that kind of thing.
Thanks Mr MaCoe!
Wooo
You the man Samuel USA USA USA USA USA. Tit. I’ve not laughed at so much crap for weeks, thank you for brightening up my day.
Very funny, It IS the biggest sporting comp in the world and yes no one in the US knows it’s going on. This is a deliberate ploy by the rest of the world. We don’t want you there.
Remember when the US lost to Iran a few years ago, how we all laughed at you. Yet your censored press only had two paragraphs.
Well your french teacher speaks french a curious way… Sounds more like a translation machine than a natural french speaker…. >
millions of people from all over the world are watching the world cup right now, this is a PARTY, and everyone is invited, even you annoying fascist ignorant, why don’t you come and see what real brothership is!
For the love of God, are some people so cretinous they can’t see this is a joke?
That said, I will say this – I’m European and I HATE football. What exactly is entertaining about spending 90 minutes watching a bunch of ridiculously paid nancy boys kick a bag of wind around a glorified lawn?
Soccer – Middle Ages, European
Football – 18th century in Rugby, England. Invented when schoolboys picked up their football and ran the pitch rather than dribbled.
Basketball – Ancient Mayan/Incan I think. They had a sport where you used your elbows to knock a ball through a hoop
Baseball – Cricket! The most English sport there is!
Ice hockey – Duh, hockey? European? I should think so.
Nascar – I think France was the first country to race the motorcar. And the last American F1 driver was a shambles.
So what sports have the Americans give us sports-wise? Nothing! Minus perhaps Lacrosse, which is native Canadian born.
Mr Johnston, people who live in glasshouses shouldn’t throw stones!
“Germany: Didn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t we have to bomb that place already?”
Hmm….Windsock Fanny is right – this one isn’t your best article. 4/10 Points. Come on Shelley you can do better.
A dissapointed german fan.
Oh people STOP EXPLAINING URSELFS GUYS!! This is a JOKE! For heavens sake… “Aw nobody (ie Shelly and about a couple of 100 people in America) hasnt even heard of the world cup.” Cant you see she is MAKING IT UP!? Aw Shelley, u really have a way of writing nonsense and getting people to respond. You have created an amazing blog to get our stupid gullible Eurpoean friends to respond in such frenzy. This is great fun. Anyways, u Eurpopeans see http://www.theonion.com/content/index? C’mon, its SATIRE. Do NOT TAKE it SERIOUSLY!! Get a sense of humour u guys!!
I think you just hit your limit on retadedness and intolerance this time.
I personally think that if the players of one sport require body protection they are the sisys.
Also soccer is the most played sport in the world. You might dislike the fact that US people are so incredibly isolated from this sport and love to play their own sports instead. But the fact is that most of the nations in the world prefer soccer.
Is that really such a big issue? No.
But if you start to call it gay I will have to talk about baseball, in my opinion every game that requires you to hit someone else’s ball with your stick is gay
macros June 9th, 2006 12:18 pm wrote
millions of people from all over the world are watching the world cup right now, this is a PARTY, and everyone is invited, even you annoying fascist ignorant, why don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t you come and see what real brothership is!
Ha! You betrayed yourself! You obviously meant COMMUNIST PARTY! Yes, World Cup (or World Coup?) is no less than archdiabolic conspiracy, thoroughly engineered by communists and satanists who cannot stand the brightest glory of american football, freedom, hot-dogs and whatthatthingwhichnameiforgotagain!
…Oh, no. I cannot keep my brain in this condition for long…
KG/AM
you’d better kill yourself
@Samuel Luke Johnston
Ehm.. se tutoyer, French for..ehm..something wich got lost in the modern English language. However, you can still find it, for example in the bible “thou”, wich is a derivate of the German “du” (ehm, yes, English is GERMANIC language) and the French “tu”. But communists, they had done the opposite, vousvoyer (would be the old-fashioned “ye”).
And by the way: French is the language, used by diplomats and besides France also in ehm, say half of the African continent and even on the American one ;)
Maybe you think about the roots of your language, befor you mock of these. Furthermore it is a GIFT beeing able to speak different languages.
p.s.
you forgot the accents in your French answer ;)
Seriously, you need Jesus.
U.S.A 94 World Cup…
Please, GET A LIFE!
Now im certain that theres one more completely ignorant person who is taking my air…
Please leave my country, you are giving the rest of us a bad name. I hate football (the american version) and baseball… you have to have respect for something that anyone with a ball can play.
Whatever happened to the teachings of your “savior” Jesus?
I dont believe in this god that you speak of, yet didnt he preach values that you have seemed to have lost? But oh well..
http://www.bountyhunterinc.com/ItemGraphics/the_answer.jpg
I hate americans like you…
Please, Johnston, go hang yourself. You’re more than worthless.
You talk about hitler, but did you know that he did EXACTLY the same thing what you’re doing? He always said something like ” the j3wS are guilty! Let’s kill them! ” , and you’re doing nothing else, because you cry: ” The liberals are guilty! Let’s kill them!” …
“I didn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t like her attitude and I told her so, inwardly shuddering at the thought of the USA getting knocked out of anything.”
– Are you gay?
“Basically, from what I could work out, this soccer is just American football for fags. It?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s a no contact sport (no contact while the ball is in play anyway; afterwards it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s seems to be all the players can do to keep their hands off each other) and it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s so sappy that they don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t even need to wear helmets or body armor.”
– Sure, you americans can’t live without brutality
“Finally, and most sickeningly of all, I realized that the whole thing is due to be held in Germany. That?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s right. The World Cup(ped) in Germany?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s greedy hands. I?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥ll bet Adolf Hitler would have loved that.”
– Have you served while WW2 ? Not ? So SHUT THE FUCK UP! Talking about Hitler, but you don’t even know how it really was, yeah, how TERRIBLE it really was, so go hang yourself. You’re an idiot.
Greetings,
your God fearing greek Linux User ( PLEASE write a report about greece, I’d like to read it =D especially the part when you have to tell that 98.5% of the greek population are visiting the church every weekend ;) )
came by here by accident, won’t be coming again. you embarrass your fellow americans.
oh no, i just saw a comment on my way out making reference to your claim to being a christian. you’re truly an embarrassment. please, shut this down and go in a hole.
I had that Jesus in the back of my cab last week.
Mind you, I reckon you all must know what happened the last time Team USA went to Germany.
Yeah. I was there. Spent three years with BAOR in the ’80s and had the misfortune to meet a number of US servicemen on a professional basis. Whithout a doubt they were the most unmotivated, worst trained, worst led, ill disciplined soldiers I ever encountered.
If ever a nation’s soldiering ability was in direct inverse proportion to its resources and equipment, it was the Americans in Germany at the arse end of the Cold War.
I believe Rummy has improved things over the last few years, although they don’t yet appear to have kicked the rather disturbing habit of shooting at their own side.
>>Je ne vais pas te donner le numero de ma niece. Mon Dieu. Mon >>Bon Dieu. Tu m?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥ as fache. C?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥est degoutant. Ugh!
——–
That is french. Grammaticaly correct french, but bad french. I seriously hope that it don’t come from a French teacher (but seeing the interest of Americans for the outside world, I doubt there are foreign languages teachers out there).
I offer this better version:
Mon Dieu non, je ne vous donnerai pas le num??Ǭ©ro de ma ni??ǬÆce, d??Ǭ©goutant personnage.
By the way Sam, learn that “tutoyer” means that you are quite familiar with your interlocutor, while “vouvoyer” is more polite, respectful and distant. I am sure that you don’t want to seem close to this frenchman, do you Sam?
Shelley, you’re mistaken.
Israel is my country, the Jews are my people.
Every Sunday you, and almost a bilion others, call my name in vain.
You think America is God’s country.
It isn’t.
It is inhabited by bigots.
Bigots who don’t know how to love their neigbour, eithout imposing ridiculous behaviour on them.
Bigots who can’t spell any English word correctly for more than two times in a row.
If you don;t stop immediatly abusing my name, I’ll sue you. In every court while you’re alive. For every penny you’ve got.
In the name of every person you bigoted, like my friends the homosexuals, or my friends the Jews -my people remember!- or my friends the Islamitics, or my friends the resonable Americans (all two of them).
I’ll surrender you to my friend Lucifer for the remainder of your death.
Please go out, teach children to masturbate, so we don’t heve anymore teen pregnancies in your decivilised so called nation, but leave me, and all good, peace loving people, in peace.
I’ll ask my friend the Pope to say prayers for you, although if you don’t mend your ways, I’ll refuse to listen to them.
Are you stupid?
All very Stephen Colbert, this. I’m actually from England and a massive footy (no, not Sarkurr) fan, this amused me massively, realising it’s a bit of a giggle of course.
Cheers for the laugh, it’s appreciated. Don’t let those damn liberal bastards force feed you their agenda of disgusting Brazilian flair and David Beckham. As for the latter, thank the Lord (blessed be thy name holy Jesus Christ and erm, oh aye yeah, the Holy Ghost!) you didn’t stumble across him wearing a sarong.
you Repukes are the sickest weirdoes on this planet,
the christian taliban sheeple of the
united states of absurdistan, country of
dipshit dumbfukk fascist BushCo !
you’re what we call a ‘wind-up merchant’ in the UK
I sincerely hope this is a joke, or else the negative stereotyping of Americans is more accurate than I had ever imagined it to be
I nearly didn’t post this reply as I think you’re just after attention
Got to agree with Windsock Fanny – another transparent sorry effort! About time to give it up now fellas…
BTW – The fags game of football has to be gridiron, doesn’t it? Where else do you see grown men wearing all that body armour to play a game. Those big shoulder pads make their asses look so cute and tiny. And those helmets – mmmm! And all that time spent huddling with their asses in the air, oh it’s just pussy boy heaven! NFL: Nancy Fag Losers
It’s not the “sword of thruth” is the “spoon of diarrhea”… USA is the only country which had to create its own sport to feel the “best”: baseball, us football, basketball… What about the *true* sports ?
Leaving UN … No… They should drop you in a small island among with the rest of nazi & japanese WWII armies who didn’t understand that war is stupid.
You’re retarded and absolutely sure you’re briliant. Sorry Tristan, you may not understand this :\
Idiots. Can’t even see outside their messed up country. Why do you think everybody watches it ? Why do you think it beats any other American sport ? Because it’s plain better.
American football is a weak minded and primitive version that barely even resembles soccer.
Selley please do a equally objective article next august when Argentina kiks your overprized NBA ass on the basquetball world cup.
Well, you don’t know of it because you’re just ignorant, is all. Have you tried to access the ESPN website during a game today? Or sports.yahoo.com, or si.cnn.com or any of the major american sports site that cover soccer? Yeah, you could not connect to them because they were that busy. You don’t get denied even during the superbowl on ESPN or the Olympics. That should clue you in how big this is.
Now call your friends and educate them.
Now I know this site is all satire. And Beckham does have a nice ass.
Excellent entry. Would read again.
Shut the fcuk up then you stupid yanks. Soccer was called FOOTBALL over 500 years ago. When your measly country did’nt even exist. This is how thick you are you call something football when you don’t even use your foot. Go back to your chair and eat some hamburgers.
WTF? How do you work this out??
Category: Homosexuality, Conspiracies
I am british… and so happy that all americans are not the same as you. Fkin stupid…
Side note: How can so many americans let a twat (bush) run the country… explains it all.
Don’t be amazed that beeing so narrow minded America is not well seen in the rest of the world. Because as you don’t seem to know, America is not the world. So just please, please, if you don’t like, or don’t even try to know about the 99.9954% of the world that is not American, stay in your bloody country.
“soccer” has been called football for well over 500 years. Thats older than your miserable attempt at a democracy. i would also like to point out that football is the biggest game in the world with more people playing it than baseball, american puff ball and basket ball put together. And another thing, if you think american puff ball if hard, i would suggest you watch rugby league or union sometime soon. I would like to also suggest your republican eyes to open up and not stay stuck in the middle ages.
ow yes, and what makes you anymore better than liberals in the eyes of God. You forget that Jesus was a liberal
Well it is odd that you Americans can claim this is not a World Cup when your baseball games are called “World Series”. This kind of stupidity enhances the view of Europeans that Americans are unintelligent cultural imperialists. No wonder most of the world hates you. I do not, I like your country and visit quite often. However, I do not appreciate the comment “this soccer is just American football for fags,” as I am a proud gay man and thank God I am British, for I do not have to put up with your neo-con drivel masquerading as democracy! Have you not heard that your Vice-President has a lesbian for a daughter?
Oi American your a twat
Your article makes a lot of sense to me. I have been confused with regard to my sexuality for some time and now realise that watching ’soccer’ has made me into a homosexual liberal. I am now away to beat myself (although NOT on my genitals) with Birch Twigs.
They should re-name it kick-ball.
Hey. It’s football, not soccer. Only Americans say soccer. I’m pretty sure European football came way before American football… Bad point.
Secondly. You’re a bitch. The statistics are taken out of the air. Yes lots of stupid thing happen around football, but you realy overstepped the line…
I don’t enjoy football my self, but this is ridicules.
Thanks for the entertainment dough :-)
all the world is gone to hell and no one wil be saved
I reckon there shoudl be a world cup of invasion, torture and murder. The US would then be guaranteed to win that.
And the surprises don’t stop
“This Fifa sounds like the UN of soccer. And as our President has shown, the best thing to do with the UN is completely ignore it and its useless bleating. An example I?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥d have done well to take with the rest of your crazy message.”
That answer show me two things:
1) FIFA is the organization (not enterprise) ordered to administrate the game globally, something you must know when you write an article of football (not Soccer). Fifa takes the game to places only to take people out of the streets, and the brazilian players have many many foundations where they feed children from the street
Let me tell you something important write an article means a previous research(a thing that obviously you didn’t do), not just throw s**t because… I still don?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t know.
2)Obviusly FIFA is not the UN of Soccer, because there aren’t a dictatorship president who loves to throw bombs over school, hospital invade countries with stupid excuses. The UN is the place where the voice of all countries around the world are heard, and ignore it is something absolutely not democratic and dictatorial.
“What does this mean for instance:”
Means the fact that you and your friends are so locked up in your own ideas, they don’t have the dignity to say “sorry, i was wrong”. If you want to listen an opinion, please, talk with people who writes of sport in newspaper and have the knowledge to make a proper opinion. Ask wich sport is the most played around the globe. One phrase explains all “No hay peor ciego que el que no quiere ver”, is a spanish phrase wich means “there is no worse blind person than the one than does not want to see”
“although my cousin has a beach house”
Excelent!!, i hope he lives happy and one day he invites me to devate, i take the drinks and you invite the food.
“I hope God will one day take you in his hand and teach you some lessons about life.”
This really angers me!!. I’m a devoted Christian and who in the name of all the creation think you are to assume what god gonna do with my soul when i die. Go to church and pray is not be a Religious person. God lives in your heart, your soul and your actions. I’m very calm about this subject, i’m a tolerant person with people who has diffrent religion, skin, nationality or politic ideas. I belive in him, i honor him and talk to him when i’m in troubles.
PS:
1)The former, Pope Juan Pablo II, was a fanatic football player, in fact, he was goalkeaper.
2)The Pope Benedicto XVI is German, so, I don’t think God put a pope in Vatican City which don’t like it.
Thanks.
I lol’d on the first point “It isn’t football its soccer” omg thats pure comedy, I’m not sure if this is real or not but…God damn you are one pure “American” poof, “American” poofs differ from others because they are the biggest poofs of them all.. and err “World Series” only means its only in America and no one else gives a shit which typifies the fact that Americans think they own the world… get over it… you DONT. I guess the Titanic had the right idea 90 odd years ago and thought… well fck this im going to sink instead of going to America.
Wow, to hell with your contact sports.
Barbarians.
disgusting Brazilian flair
Meh.
As for the latter, thank the Lord (blessed be thy name holy Jesus Christ and erm, oh aye yeah, the Holy Ghost!) you didn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t stumble across him wearing a sarong.
Quite right, he always wore a long dress.
Haha very amusing American,
p.s American Football is a sport for fairies, try playing a REAL mans sport like Rugby League.
Q: What is the capital of Turkey?
do you know?, probably not!
American PIG!
My comment has been deleted, that’s free speech for you LOL
Football is THE sport that unites the world, even the USA. Whether you seem aware of the World Cup Finals the fact remains that more people will watch the games than would ever view the ‘World’ Series baseball or indeed the ‘Superbowl’.
FYI American football is a watered down version of rugby, one of the greatest games ever invented ( in England ).
Baseball is played in the UK, although over here it’s played by girls and called rounders.
The trouble with football and the USA is that play continues for 45 minutes before a commercial break …. attention span problems.
I have had the pleasure of watching ‘American Football’ in Dallas and boy, what a boring game! We were over one hour late for kick-off and missed just 10 minutes of play!! Stop – start – stop – commercial break – start – stop jesus!! Play a game where the team stay on the pitch and you don’t need a guy to come on to kick a ball.
Come on England!
Surely this article is a joke? American Football for fags? I think your largely mistaken, because American Football is Rugby for fags. All that padding, stopping & starting…What a load of crap.
The World Cup is the greatest competition in the world, end of. Unlike your ‘World Series’ that only one country takes part in. Oh and its also called football, only you small minded American idiots call it soccer.
…this article is a joke, right? It has to be.
ignorant.
HAHAHA you’re ridiculous.
The world doesn’t always revolve around the USA, unfortunately.
USA =/= world, so do the rest of the world a favour and stop yawping, thank you.
I’m Brazilian, and I don’t like soccer that much. I neither see the exciment about having to throw a ball into to stakes in 90 minutes of crazyness run and kicks…
ANYWAY!! That picture of yours from my country must be a very old one. My country has, recently, sent I guy to space (just like yours, but a little bit later) and we have reach the auto-suficient fuel production. Thats something that you greedy americans wont get even w/ a thousand years of mandatory laws and FORCED WARS BASED ON LIES!!
I am proud to be a Brazilian, and, YES!! We are problably going to WIN this competition… We are simply the best on it!! Go to “YouTube” and search for “Ronaldinho Gaucho”… This is the Michael Jordan of the soccer!! Or better… “Jordan who??”
And we don’t have just one of him!! We have ELEVEN!!!
And about our president, he isn’t a comunist… He is from the Workers Party… A simple guy that came from the misery, working as an laborer and work his way to the top of the nation… A great story of life. His name is Luiz In??Ǭ?cio “Lula” da Silva by the way…
Aff!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
the bit about Brazil is priceless
(yes Chris, this article is a joke)
if i wasn’t a christian, i would hate christianity and america after reading that page
Good God, this has to be a joke
I went through some archives to this article here -http://shelleytherepublican.com/2005/12/
“For that and only for that reason liberals also claiming that there are abuses and even torture in prisons in Iraq, Afghanistan and Guantanamo Bay. That is false and a cruel and dirty lies! Our soldiers are acting according the highest standards and moral: The AMERICAN WAY!”
Do you still stand by this given the quite clear abuses that have happened in Iraq, at abu gharib, the massacre we heard of a while back at Haditha http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=viewArticle&code=WYN20060608&articleId=2603 and the recent suicides of detanies at Guantanimo Bay?
If so how on earth can you?
Your’e lack of regard for other peoples, cultures and traditions is astonishing… call the beautiful game whatever you like, the rest of us 6 billion people will continue to celebrate our uniqueness, differences, and experiance each others cultures, and play in the worlds ONLY global sport, we’ll even welcome you yanks along, hell we’d even like it if you guys sent a team that can play!
It astounds me to think that someone who claims to be a lover of life liberty and the puruist of happiness bears a grudge against a country we fought a war against 60 years ago, defeated and Liberated from Facism, and can’t get over the fact that you’re talking all high and mighty about the USA’s record in war when on both occasions of world war you guy’s turned up three years late!
Let it go, theres never going to be a war on european soil again, the cost is too great, the respect we have for each other too much. It’s a respect we europeans have developed, learnt to tolerate differences, to respect each others rights and freedoms and experiance life from different angles, somthing I pity you for for failing to understand.
Like I said, i hope this is a joke, if it’s not, I hope you think long about your views. A governemnt that allows an entire city to drown because it’s government could’nt care less about some levy’s or climate change is’nt a governemnt worth giving the time of day. Enjoy the superbowl, and if you get a chance, just have a look at some of the matchs at the world cup, and see up to 100,000 people in a stadium from all corners of the globe sharing in somthing you’ll never understand, compasion for your fellow kind.
This blog f***ing rocks!
OMG it’s so funny ROFL.
VAMOS ARGENTINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
BTW Bush can kiss my ass, f**k u republican fags!
And next year will be the Rugby world cup !! ( a sport borned in Rugby, England). Today, the football world cup is in Germany, a nice country with a very welcoming people. I’m French but I support Brazil. BRAZIL ! BRAZIL !
You are CRAZY, homophobic and racist, lady. Don’t you know the USA soccer team is playing in the World cup?! Where’s your national pride!?? How Anti-American of you.
Now that you imply “soccer-ers” are gay, let me remind you that american football is a version of rugby, only the players wear bulky pads and helmets.
And the hole “patriotism” shit is just an instrument used by a bunch of people to rule the world and keep people under control, so we don’t really need to argue and confront.
Wish you all the best.
PS I am from Bulgaria, so what?
This is deploarable. At least attempt to be less insular and boorish.
You do great harm to the international reputation of the United States by displaying such astonishing ignorance and prejudice.
THE World Cup is the single,largest sporting event on earth in terms of participation by both players, spectators and its television audience – far exceeding the Olympics.
And it is called Association Football – not soccer, except in the US. And it is actually played with the feet (unlike your curious game which no one else plays as it’s too arcane and so over-commercialised that you actually interrupt the flow of play for TV advertising.)
Many of those beyond your borders respect your country’s many achievements and cultural differences. Some of your own country folk even play soccer (it’s your largest participant sport – Durr)
You let down the signatories of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution and all the principles of the fragile institution of democracy, (which we all cherish) when you propagate such narrow minded nonsense. Shame on you.
Did you see the World Cup opening ceremony! Shocking! German men in their skimpy lederhossen doing suggestive things with big bells between their legs!!! Disgusting!!!
When I saw US of A had a team going I thought ‘This can’t be true!’ The more I thought about it the more I was convinced my theory is correct – that it is a SCAM TEAM entered by your Canadian neighbours!! I mean half of them cant even speak English!!
They speak French, and France is the birthplace of modern Liberalism!! Look what they did to their legitimate Government when told they could eat cake – chopped off their bloody heads!! That’s gratitude for you! So hold the team at the border on their return and forward them directly to Guantanamo Bay where all usurpers of freedom belong!
While on the subject of liberal France – I know the cause of the spreading Liberal Plague on your Great Country. Did’nt they give you The Statue of Liberty? [almost spells liberal doesn't it?] I must warn you I have proof that she has been emanating subliminal liberal thought waves since she was erected!!!
Shelley, you need to rally all Republicans immediately – the only way to prevent this insipid liberal takeover of the US of A is to remove the Statue’s torch and head [the antenna and control modules]
May God’s Grace be with you in this critical endeavour to save you and your Republican army. The World needs you all – as you are!!
Croc Hunter
PS
Australia also has a team going to this World Cup [we are under a Liberal Government at this time] Our Liberal Primeminister has tried to weedle his way into President Bush’s confidence. Please warn the President next you speak with him!
In our case however, I am beginning to suspect that the Sydney Harbour Bridge is the Liberal wave transmitter.
If you could ask Mr President if he can spare a nuke….?
Shelley
This is the funniest website of the week and i’ts only Monday here in the UK.
Get yersen a passport and see the world for more great laughs in an International sense.
By the way tell your dear readers why American football is called “foot” ball when it’s chiefly played using the hands ? and our football can’t be called football even though the players use their feet, two feet one foot geddit! What you play is more akin to Rugby so called when the toffs at Rugby Public school ( in England ) while playing football ( that’s the game using a round ball with feet ) decided to pick the ball up with their hands.
thanks for the rib tickling laughter.
Look you stupid hillbilly bint, just becuase the Americans are too stupid to recognise a great sport hen they see one doesnt mean it sucks. Football (NOT soccer) is the greatest sport on the planet, played by all nations except yours, the World Cup is the most watched sporting event around the world, and it knocks your pathetic sports like baseball and American football into the ground.
You call football a pansy sport; why the fuck do American-football players wear padding? I know why, because they’re wimps! You should try playing a real sport like rugby, none of that padding shit there.
Try actually seeing the world outside your pathetic backwards country, you may learn a few things.
Soccer (speaking in your language) is the most popular sport on the planet. Your ‘football’ in ONLY played in America.
And as a Christian, you really give us a bad name. No wonder people are turning to atheism. You are probably one of those people trying to get evolution teaching banned from textbooks. Pathetic.
I think the daftest thing about American Football is that the whole game is about gaining ground, but you’re allowed to pass the ball forwards… Strikes me as odd.
You, sir, are an idiot.
Loved it!. Funniest thing I’ve read in a while.
Her friend was right about one thing. Beckham is one fine specimen on human flesh. There’s a reason they call it the beautiful game.
I kinda feel sorry for the Yanks though. Having to see Beckham kiss another man on the cheek AND having to see Janet Jackson’s nipple. Lord help them.
What next? Seeing a man place his hands between another man’s legs – oh wait, that already happens in the NFL.
Anyway, must go. Thanks for the laughs. Damn yanks have a great sense of humour.
Where do you get off. The Baseball “World Series” is a farce.
WORLD SERIES
How many countries compete?? Ammmmm 1
How many watch?? A couple of hundred million
FIFA WORLD CUP
How many countries compete?? hundreds
How many people watch?? An estimated 2 billion will watch the final
as usual when the americans cant beat you with hard facts they just fabricate one.
“”There?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s not one well-known sportsman among them”"
I cant name one baseball or American Football player. Im not dumb enough to presume that theyre not famous
“”When I tell them it doesn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t even have a single NFL team in it they just start laughing at me.”"
I would too. theyre two different sports you fool
“”Let me tell you, it was one of the most boring things that I have seen. It lasted for 90 minutes and only one point was scored in the whole darned thing. How is that exciting?”"
one point its called a goal
“”Ok, I admit it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s unreasonable to expect Michael Jordan to come out of retirement or anything, but I hardly think this team represents American sporting prowess at it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s best!”"
Amm i thought you said you researched soccer
How about you try again??
Maybe you wont show how ignorant you are in front of the world again….. thatd be nice
People, people, people – calm down! This is meant to be ‘ironic’, something that the British claim that Americans have no concept of! It’s a joke, it’s a parody – it’s funny!!!!
(It is a joke isn’t it?)
["American Football, manly? no way! They are a bunch of sissy. They are too scared of being hurt, they wear protection gears, unlike rugbymen! (A Parisian June 9th, 2006 5:36 am)"]
Mais oui mon ami Francais, but even Rugby Union pales in comparison with Rugby League, or Jeu a Treize as you’d probably know it.
Seriously, Shelley, if you’re after no-holds-barred controlled aggression then this is the sport to watch. I first saw it in Brisbane, Australia – but I’ve seen the English and the French play it too.
It’s a bunch of half-crazed behemoths trying batter each other into submission. No time-outs, no silly helmets or body armor. These guys play at breath-taking speed, make fierce tackles and show spectacular skill. These guys really are crazy. You’d probably find a game or two on Fox.
They also invented the idea of a World Cup – or at least the French did. (But that doesn’t necessarily make it a bad thing). There have been Rugby League World cups since the 1930’s – but they only really got into their stride after WWII. The next Rugby League World Cup is in 2008 in Australia and, yep, it’s yet another sport that the USA suck at. So you’ll enjoy that. (It makes NFL look like Soccer, believe me.)
The USA regularly play Ireland, Russia and Japan at Rugby League and there are quite a number of teams in the US, not least the “Jacksonville Axemen”. The Australian national team came over to the USA two years ago – there were a few games, but they really just ended with 13 Australians running around a field at half-speed while the USA team flapped ineffectually at their heels and lost by lots of points. Yessir it’s just one of many sports that the good ole US of A suck at – so it’s not just soccer.
P.S. As well as kissing men David Beckham also paints his nails, has ear-rings and wears a skirt. Perhaps you’d recommend a spell in a correctional facility such as Guantanamo?
Have a nice day y’all.
I think everybody arguing here misses the point entirely. Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ is surely the only “sport” that matters.
Follow Jesus and your “football” team will always win by one point to nothing.
And to all those naysayers who speak negatively of the USA, let me ask you this: had the USA not given Jesus to the people of this world then where would we be?
Ha! Just read the article on football. Is this for real? It’s beyond parody… you Yanks are nuts!
I can’t believe that anyone would be so stupid as to not realize this is a joke.
Very funny indeed, by the way.
I hope you rot in hell, Shelley. The World Cup is by far the most prestigious tournament in the world. It brings people of different nationalities, from all over the world together to embrace the World’s game, football(or soccer here in North America). Just because the US isn’t the best country in this particular sport doesn’t mean it should be written off. Actually, the US team has been improving steadily over the past decade or so, as has their home support.
It’s funny that you say american football is more exciting. There is one 10 second play, then they break for 5 minutes. How delightful. While playing soccer there is only one break, during half time. Other than that, they play nonstop for the entire game.
Your ignorance is astounding.
hilarious article. i have forwarded the link around to all my friends.
i assume this is a very funny joke- as the viewing figures for the world cup dwarf any event in tv history. or any event in history come to think of it. just because most americans aren’t interested, doesn’t mean the vast vast majority of the world isnt. and we couldnt care less if you like it or not!!
Bless, the inane ramblings of someone with a throwing axe and nowhere to through it. To quote frank zap, ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Stick closer to church-oriented social activities” Youll love it…
you should pray to god and ask him to forgive you for writing such a stupid and ignorant article.
Shelley
I’ve just read your article about the World Cup and couldn’t agree more. This ‘no-contact’ sport in which men hug and kiss each other after every point they score and during which thousands of so-called fans spend the break beating each other up with chains and coshes in the car park is clearly part of the global terrorist conspiracy against respectable American right wing values. Seriously though, are you ‘for real’, or is your whole site a superbly constructed piece of satire on American isolationism? Unlike the quaint little ‘World Series’ in which Americans compete against other Americans in a game they obviously consider too All-American for any other country to compete in (by the way, baseball is actually derived (and not much changed) from an English game called rounders, which is very popular here among Primary Schol children) , the World Cup is so-called because the majority of the countries on our great globe, including your own, have spent the last four years trying to qualify for it, and it will be watched and celebrated worldwide by more people than any other event, be it the Olympics, the moon landings or George Bush’s resignation speech (oops, just my little fantasy!). Oh, and while we’re on the subject, if American Football is so macho why do players need to wear helmets and pads? Over in Europe we play a game called rugby (from which incidentally American Football itself derives), which you might enjoy more since the players are allowed to handle the ball and forceful contact is positively encouraged. Players wear no more protection than a gum-shield and a nice collection of scars. Dumb if you ask me, but each to their own. I’m sure you’ll think all this is a load of ‘liberal propaganda’, but even you must be able to find a source you can trust on these matters. The soccer debate is funny, but your ignorance on other issues is alarming and potentially dangerous. Ignorance from those who are deprived of democratic freedoms might be understood, but the ignorance of someone as privileged as you are to live in a free, democratic (I won’t get into that debate here) country is frankly inexcusable. But anyway, the whole thing’s a big joke, isn’t it. A great, satirical swipe against the rest of the world’s prejudices about Americans’ deluded sense of superiority. Yep, it’s a wind-up,a kid on, isn’t it?….Isn’t it?
They say that around 90% of Americans don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t have a passport. Comments such as those in your article above make the rest of the world very thankful of this.
Football is the most played and watched sport in the world and you have never heard of it. I suggest you think about what this means about you and how ignorant you are. I for one would be embarrassed to admit that fact that I didn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t know of the existence of one of the largest sporting events of all time. Maybe it is your incessant need to win everything and not play if you cant that makes the rest of the worlds loves you so much (please note this s what we in the rest of the world refer to as irony).
You refer to the sissy nature of the game, while comparing it to football. I can only assume you mean American Football, which seems to be a game for fat people who weren?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t cleaver enough or hard enough to play rugby.
Nice work my friend you have couldn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t have alienated more people with one article if you tried.
Mark
Football – American Football for fags!? What the hell are you on about?! Its completely different. If anything, I think you’ll find American Football is just Rugby for fags!!!!!
“Point one: It isn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t football, it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s soccer”
(raises hand) Er… they call it “football because it is played with the FEET!!
Why do YOU insist on calling the US version “football”?
The overwhelming majority of countries in the world call “soccer” football. America is one of the few that insists on rewriting the dictionary… and they have the NERVE to insist that they are right.
Next they will start insisting that their version of “English” is the definitive one. Oh wait… they already have…
I hope this was meant to be funny, because if not, it is both tragic, sad, profoundly unChristian and extraordinarly cut-off from reality. Yes, ‘American’ Football is a big-baby version of Rugby (a game played without padding and without people coming off the pitch every few minutes for a rest) and Soccer – football to the rest of the world is also an extraordinarily hard game. And while there isn’t ‘contact’ (ha! try getting tackled in soccer, buddy) I’d like to see the writer – or most America athletes go up against against a soccer defensive player – ouch – those huys are way bigger than they look. You have to just laugh at America with it’s Baseball ‘World Series’ which does not admit any other country – and certainly not communist Cuba which would whip them. Nevertheless I wish the US team well in the World Cup, they’ve worked hard for their place. I hope they get to enjoy it.
EG
why not fucking die
I don’t know what is funnier, the witty writing which proves that Americans really do understand subtle humour and satire or the pointless war that seems to have started because a few Europeans, including Brits just don’t get it (the comments are too venomous to be funny or satirical so I assume they don’t get it). This may not mean much coming from a liberal, commie, pinko Brit but Shelley, I think you’re fabulous. Keep up the good work
Just to add my 2p, Soccer is a contraction of Association Football and IS a British English term.
Unlike the “World Series” (which nobody outside the Benighted States Of McAmerica cares about anyway) the world cup is actually a truly international event. Not a glorified Budweiser commercial (I guess they need all the promotion they can get, considering how weak and insipid it is – fitting for lily-livered American sissymen who don’t even get a sip until their lives are a quarter over).
You say football is about “unholy man love” – lets look at the facts here. Your boys wear spandex trousers. It doesn’t really get much gayer than that, does it?
You guys just hate the World Cup because you’ll never win it. Because Americans are no good at real sports, ones which didn’t originate in your culturally bereft hellhole of a nation. Go and watch some Super Pick-Up The-Ball-&-Run-Athon 3000 instead.
That is pure genius.I am nearly crying with laughter.hahahaha.Hats off for the wind-up.
a ha ha ha ha ha ha. Funny article and this got to be a wind up like Midlander said.
I do want to make one point though…
American football is rugby for fags!!! (^_^)
Is this real or a joke? I cant make up my mind. Sounds like it was written by the guys who write south park. By the way if its real, you are an idiot….. otherwise pure genius
Gosh! the most ignorant peice of writing ever, or is this just a wind up? I sure hope so. Was pretty funny reading this anyway. You cleary did not do your research properly, or simply believed some rumours or god knows wat else that you came across. Maybe you are even envious that the most popular sports competetion on earth is taking place and the world is not paying much attention to the US team involved. If the American team was at the centre of attention im sure your tune would have been different. May you one day come out of the dark depths of your ignorance and indifference, or in the very least refrain from making serious allegations about the brazil team cheating! Finally, you can probably pick up a few ideas from your neice about the changing world! She sounds like she has got her head in good working order.
Point one: It isn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t football, it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s soccer.
Point two: How can it be important, or even called the World Cup if no one?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s ever heard of it?
^^^
classic example of American ignorance.
Football is now a sporty event played by gaylord perverts, but it was not always the so, oh no! It originated in the Couscous valley of my native Porpbhitchkhan, where every year men of the villages would stone a girlie man and cut off his head from his body. They would smear themselves in yak fat and rival teams would grapple for the dismemibered head, the team who threw down the well the head would win. Sometimes many die in these games, which went on many days, they were vary manly, all sweaty men grappling together. Now many have satellitevisions and watch american soapy operas, no longer being manly. Yes the american television like OC the orange county has made the men of my nation homosexyals, men with without theyre man walnuts, no longer playing football with heads.
Im AMERICAN!!
But
The NFL is a fag sport!!! Try Rugby, real mans sport!
jajajaja, you losers, you cant even won a simple game, you lost 3-0, those american football players are so unamerican…
Very funny, and spot on. You have managed to capture US ignorance in this spoof blog. Also funny that most of the comments didn’t understand that the article was a joke.
this is a good laugh :D
We all know how boreing soccer is to watch! that’s why they dring so much beer and fight and other things.
Soccer is good to play, boreing to watch :)
(i’m kinda annoyed that we have two national channels, no danish team in this turnament, and then they both dare to send soccer at the same time :S
I have several points to make regarding this article:
1) only americans call it soccer, and as far as I know its a different game to football completely, no wonder your team lost to the czech’s if you dont even know what game it is that you are playing!
2)If you visited most countries that aren’t in North America you would find that almost everybody has heard of the World Cup and are supporting their teams fully, England certainly has flags flying everywhere, it’s nice to see a sense of patriotism in a country and also an acceptance of others as we are flying every country’s flag
3)As a Christian you shouldn’t agree with violence therefore a non contact sport should be much more appealing to you than a violent game
4)As for Brazil, they have a brilliant team and what a generalisation to make that all Brazillians cheat, that must mean all Americans are fat
5)Yes it is unlikely that the USA will win this tourament but who’s surprised there? they obviously dont have the support of their country
6)The World Cup has nothing to do with Adolf Hitler…didn’t you know that he died a while…as a Christian (I am also a Christian)…we are taught to love our neighbours…your wrapped up thoughts of America and your apparent disregard for integration seems to go against what we are taught in the 10 commandments.
7)If Germany is to be punished for the actions of one man then America will be punished for the slavery, racism, Iraq war and sterilisation of people deemed not suitable to have children. Possibly the Americans will be punished far more because of their agreement with such actions
Thank you for your misconceptions
London_superstar: please don’t cast your thoughts in the direction of my “neice”. She does not want to meet you nor any of the other people that seem to be writing to me about her. She’s not a pervert anyway, so won’t interest you liberals (although i do worry that she may be getting influenced by some of the books she’s reading. I’m going to have to speak to her about that soon).
you rock man!)
Idiot.
I’m sure that if Americans got free health care, you’d be put in a mental home, it’s only the fact that someone would have to pay for treatment that so many gun-toting-in-the-name-of-god Americans are walking about
thoughts in the direction of my ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?neice???.
If I were writing for a multitude of people, I would make sure of my spelling abilities first….
“sam johnston”
It’s all about sex with you right wing evangelical types is’nt it! Welcome to the deep south! A local place for local people!
A great satirical article!
Or wasn`t it?
Sorry, but since I?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•m German I have sometimes problems to get the joke.
huahaaaaaa You lost the game against the Czech. I would like to see the USA playing against Iran. It could happen may be and I hope they whipe you from the place here in GERMANY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You poor americans. Ruled by an ignorant basted controlled by global companies greed through lobbyism.
brainwashed to think your contry is the greatest in the world.
So daft and dumb that you can not see the finess and refinement in anything.
Most americans have never been outside their own contry.
You are a poor people who don’t even have social security. You think low of solidarity and socialism though most agree that together we can achive the most.
And by the way: where is the immoral in one man kissing another man on the check in excitement to thank him for a surpreme achivement?
And I am not narrowminded, so I’m a huge fan of the NFL and I love the ALMS and Nascar, since I’m a motorsports fan.
“Also funny that most of the comments didn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t understand that the article was a joke.”
I think its the funniest part. How ironic, isnt it? At the end of the day it becomes clear and distinct that anti-americans cant understand sarcasm, let alone irony. Well, those belong to the wise men domain – definetely not the homeland of the tribe.
The post is good humour from a liberal, the comments make not only a good laugh but a deep and powerfull political treaty. A must read for any conservative – thanks for doing such a great job, Sam.
Actually america is quite good at football, until recently Team USA was rated 4th in the world. Much better than your rating at baseball for instance, where you lag behind Japan (didn’t they bomb you once before?), S Korea (oops, didn’t win that war), Cuba (fine upstanding communists) and Dominican Republic (who?)
Actually america is quite good at football, Team USA rated 4th in the world a few weeks ago. Which is better for instance than some of your own sports like baseball, where you are 5th behind Japan (didn’t they bomb you one time), S Korea (oops, didn’t win that war), Cuba (fine upstanding communists, laughing as they send all their criminals to USA where they fit right in) and Dominican Republic (Eh? Who?) Or your uncompetitive (Nightmare Team) NBA basketballers, neither world nor Olympic champions.
Enjoyed the satire… unusual to meet an American with such a sense of humour, 99.99% of your countrymen would read that article as straight news commentary. Which gives us non-Americans a really good laugh.
“Which gives us non-Americans a really good laugh.”
Curiously most of the comments were made by non-americans.
Hilarious!!! Wooo Yaaaay !!!
Well done
I have to say on behalf of the sport loving and open-minded Americans that we apologize for this person’s poor judgment and lack of education. This is nothing more than a personal attack on the culture and beliefs of every country worldwide.
Please know we all do not share this inept person’s views nor do we care to have any of our political parties or religions associated with such hypocrisy.
A couple of points, football should be played with the FEET. There’s a clue in the name if you look closely.
Baseball is a commercialised version of rounders that is a child’s game in Britain, although our kids use smaller bats so it’s actually a lot harder!
Basketball is a glorified version of netball, played here exclusively by girls!
Having said that I actually prefer American football and basketball to their counterparts over here but I never could ynderstand the attraction of baseball.
ok again it is FOOTBALL BECAUSE YOU USE YOUR FEET! and of course people have heard of it most of the world is trying to be part of it! and also about it being for wimps if you knew anything about the world you would know about a sportcalled rugby which is very like your ‘american footbal’ only they dont wear body armour (i think you will find this means your country is wimpy) i would also like to point out that david beckham is married (not gay)(not that it should matter)and even if he was gay i dont think in the bible GOD says it is wrong (i know st peter does but he was a man not a god) and about brazil america has slums too! andit is mainly the fault of rich countries like america that brazil is poor anyway. and about communism (not that i agree with it) cuba (a communist country) has the best healthcare and education system in the world! and about being shocked that america will be knocked out if you americans started carng about and playing real football you might not be so crap at it! get over it!
I could not agree more. Football players are nothing more than Gay Nazis in shorts. The sooner George W does something about them the better. Could I suggest George sends his boys to France first to ‘liberate’ the Cheese Eating Soccer playing Gay Surrender Monkey Nazis!!! I appreciate France has no oil to liberate, but for the sake of all God Fearing Americans, soccer must be stopped!
HAHAHAHA!
Made me smile, especially the bit about American Footballers wearing armour when they play. Ever seen Rugby? No armour worn, full contact sport, oval shaped ball. Which obviously means that people who play American Football are fags scared of being hurt.
Football is played by thru athletes, with 45 minutes each way, no “time out” and no swapping half the team just to defend or attack.
Football is the worlds most popular sport, INVENTED BY THE ENGLISH which is why you stupid up-your-own-arseholes Americans don’t like it.
It may be a joke post, but it is still a subtle dig at America’s failings.
I like boys who play football… not to kiss, just to watch them play football… soccer/football, not football/football… though I like to watch football/football too, just not as much as soccer/football…
I just like to watch.
Lets clear up a few things to help address your total lack of knowledge about anything happening outside of your local McDonalds restaurant. If more than 9% of the population of your country bothered to get a passport and travel anywhere else in the world, you may discover that this “World Cup” is actually a tournament in which almost every country in the world enters and competes in or is at least free to do so. If you compare that to the bizarre “World(?) Series” that you have, in which the only nation present is you lot, then it speaks volumes.
Now this will take a bit of explaining on my part, to a blinkered ape like yourself, but consider this for a minute. Lets imagine that both American Football and Football (soccer to you) were invented on the same day and there were two tables of people “designing” the rules. After getting the rules pretty much sorted lets say they then decided to think of names. The English (for we invented this popular global sport) table would probably come up with a few ideas, but then the obvious one hit them! “Got it, we have 11 men on each side and they mainly control the ball and score goals by kicking the ball with their feet. How about we call the game Feetball?”
“Mmm, nice try, although maybe “Football” has a slightly better sound, though I appreciate you can use either foot” says the man in charge.
“Seconded, motion carried.”
Now lets look at your lot. “Gee whizz and stuff you guys, we gotta think of a name for this cotton picking game where you get to throw a ball and catch it, while dressed up in motorbike clothing. Now come on guys. You pick the ball up, people run away from you, and you throw a ball to them, which they try to catch in their hands. Any ideas, guys?”
“I have an idea, boss.”
“Well lets hear it, Guss, and let me tell you it’s nice to have you back from retard therapy too.”
“Thanks boss. How about football.”
“My God, the retard is on to something, motion carried.”
Football is a game of cunning, skill and fitness, which is probably why it has not taken off in your country. If you want to talk about a full on contact sport, then might I suggest rugby, either league or union, as they differ somewhat. In both cases you will see heavy tackling and players being brought to the ground at full running speed, although they do not tend to dress up as Evil Kinevil to do this, i.e, not gay like your chummy American Catch and Throwers (Footballers).
You sound like a good fellow, I feel you could do a job for us.
Call me.
Lowe.
Typical REDNECK comment that I would expect from the so called
elite people of the world. Its called the WORLD CUP because most of the rest of the world actually play the sport. Unlike your WORLD SERIES which are played at Basketball etc (What boring
sports they are) . . . . Bloody redneck tree huggers
you are an idiot!
Dear Rupert Lowe, I’ve been trying to call you, but don’t have your number?! Do you pay good money? (I don’t work for cheap, unless I’m doing God’s work, of course). Do get in touch. Perhaps we can work something out. What is this work of which you speak?
Are you really that stupid? In your little google searches you might also want to search for ‘the most watched sporting event in history.’
Football (proper version, i.e. round ball) has so much more to it that it’s american counterpart. There is skill involved for a start (type in ronaldinho into another search, think you can manage that), rather than a few meat heads running into each other. And if you are trying to imply that american football is a hard man sport then you might also want to search for rugby (league or union).
I feel google is going to teach you a lot of things today. Your not doing the ‘ignorant american’ stereotype any favours.
Kindest Regards
James
James
First of all we invented football so thats the name I’m afraid not soccer. We we’re playing before you even became a country.
Secondly how can you claim football is a non contact sport when your pansy “football” players wear a ton of armour just to play rugby.
Wow,
great article with a superb level of (self) irony. I really enjoyed it. But you should have left that part with the naming soccer out of it. It’s quite hard to understand how the (U.S.) americans came to the clue to name their rugby alternative football, while the ball is rarely in contact with the feed.
You are an idiot. Not for being ignorant about the World Cup starting but for admitting to it.
I can’t really be bothered replying to your verbal diarrhoea other than reminding you that when this event is finished, it will have been watched by 32 billion people. Five times the population of Earth.
Dear Peer Jensen,
I don\’t believe you. Where are these extra people going to come from? From planets not mentioned in the Bible and strangely interested in your liberal propaganda soccerball tournament? You can\’t baffle me with junk science!
I just love these redneck americans! You say “soccer” is boring, have you ever seen a MLB game…
But what can u expect from these peoples if they voted Bush for their president, and did the same mistake twice.
Greetings from Finland
I agree with many of whom have said that this site is a big Joke… but all satirical or fake sites over the web are easyly recognized… but this one… I might that it could be real.
OH! and thank you for gave me the link of “the onion” is a great joke site ^^
Yours
Albert
PD: Spain 4 – Ucrania 0
A POR ELLOSSSS OEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
“Basically, from what I could work out, this soccer is just American football for fags”
Edit that to say
“basically, from what I could work out, this American Football is just Rugby for Fags”
Football World Cup – all countries in the world take part.
Any American sport world series etc – only America takes part
You go and figure.
To all those above!!
“Guys…. You have all been HAD!”
This feller has been having a laugh and you all took the bite. Quite funny tho.
That is the funniest thing I have read in years……….
England invented the game and it’s been called that well before you guys thought of your version.
….Your version is for fags because your players need to wear padding !!
If you think your football is for tough guys you should try watching Rugby ( this has a world cup) .Which incidentally again is played through out the world Rugby invented by England !. only we don’t wear padding…………..
Come to think of it you don’t even play Cricket …Oddly enough that has a world championship too!-
Funny how America does not play any of the above but the rest of the world do…….. and the rest of the world does not play your games isn’t it.
Samuel Luke Johnston
I bet you have a huge penis and have been bored stupid by a fooballing brazilian hence your peculiar hatred for the worst game in the world.
I\’m a bit Wierd.
Oh yes and itn’t baseball just rounders..?
Absolutely brilliant! This myopic diatribe only goes to reaffirm the view held by the rest of the world that the USA thinks itself to be the centre of the universe. I think a simple reminder that your premier baseball (a game, incidentally, called ‘Rounders’ and played elsewhere in the world by girls and toddlers)competition -the World Series – is not actually participated in by any other country in the world other than Canada, which is really the USA in French.
Loved your sarcasm.
Greetings from Norway.
I think this must be satire (although the only American satyr I know is Dubya). The irony is that the author says they are an American Republican. Go figure.
If he/sey/they or it (we know how crazy those yanks are) wanted to be offensive (an NFL term, I believe)they would have sent in the marines. No off side rule nor Red cards there lads!
Still, enjoyed the fall out none the less.
A bientot.
P.s
Is New Orleans a geographical Super Bowl? We ahould be told.
The award for the most ignorant woman alive goes to? Shelley the republican!!
Congratulations on becoming a laughing stock with your ridiculous, pathetic website. I’m surprised you’ve heard of Germany you are so insular. It’s people like you that make the USA so hated around the world. Almost every day i defend the people of the USA arguing that they aren’t all ignorant and insular, but you make that an uphill battle
Again, well done.
This site is so clearly satire, and good satire at that.
However given the number of liberals who don’t get it, the joke seems to be increasingly on them rather than the Christian Right who I suspect were the intended original target.
Where are the follow up post on changing someone sexuality, as a self confessed player of the pink oboe these, were my favourites.
I wanna to add that the world cup is sponsord by coca cola
an american company.
i hope you?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•ll enjoy the cup.
You gotta be kidding me!!!
You now what Shelley?
Football (you, stupid, call it soccer) is becoming a more and more popular street game in the USA.
This is the result of the invasion by immigrants from the Carribeans, central and south Am??Ǭ©rica, Africa and numerous islamic countries.
In a close future, your stupid football sponsored by Fox News will only be played by rare Iowa and Nebraska rednecks, the Bush family, Cheney, Rumsfeld and Condo Rice.
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
You crazy terrorist lunatic! Even as I type this, your IP address is making its way to the FBI… You won’t be able to hide this time, you muslim madman. And by the way, i didn’t understand a word of what you said. Been in cowering in a cave too long?
Shelly,
Although I’m sure you are just joking …I still feel complelled to say…you are a dangerously ignorant bitch…& I’m afraid there are all too many people like you in our country…USA! And no it is “Football” not “Soccer” and many countries of the “World” participate it this sport; which is why its the “World Cup”! Truly…Americans have got it all wrong! American Football derived from “Rugby” & Baseball derived from “Cricket”, by the way we are the only country colonized by the British that does participate in “Cricket”! Why then do Americans call the Baseball finals as the “World Series” when only North American teams participate? There should be more attention in games like real “Football” & “Rugby” & “Cricket”…perhaps it could help our international image a bit…I think so!!!
Shelly,
what the hell you do in life to spend time to write something so clever to people who are so stupid and meaningless? As Felipe wrote, you guys changed the sport because it was rubbish before and the American way is always best. Also in basketball you are going to beat Argentina and that\’s going to be great and and why do liberals always moan when you rightly call the NBA a world championship?! No one wants to play cricket so you change it to baseball. You\’re so great! God Bless America! Do not worry, you\’ll never get beaten also there. Rugby .. you played and you thought that was a bit silly too. Keep inventing sports, you will be the best on the world for a few years in all sports. And, by the way, also in boxing USAs guys have hammered fag English and Russian guys … poor guys. I LOVE JESUS!
LOL
fok america
Oi england!
Your American football must be called “handball” or “wrestlingball” because it has almost nothing to do with “kicking ball with foot”. To me it looks like a bunch of gorillas trying to kill each other in despered attempt to get the ball. Even the form of the ball suggests that it is primiry designed to be easy to hold by hand.
And Shelley I don’t think you are a true christan beleiver. You are a religious fanatic not much different than those in Iraq.
God f.u.c.k. USA! Is it a joke or is it a true mindflow of an american idiot – who knows… Your stupid “wrestlingball”((c)European) is popular only in your dumb-headed country, remember that. And shoot yourself, if the World Cup doesn’t impess you – your brains do not deserve to live.
————————
God kill America! People of the world – unite against the fashist USA
Ha Ha Ha! The USA was beaten by Ghana and is no longer in the World Cup! Now I see why Shelley downplays the importance of the World Cup, because it is too difficult for her pea-brain to conceive that the USA might not be “the best” in something. Kind of like a child who tries to play a game but is no good and then goes off and pouts, saying: “well, I never wanted to play your stupid game ANYWAY!”… Keep pouting Shelley & Co. we are all amused!
OK…I always kiss my best friend, she is a woman…I don’t kiss on her lips, I give her a kiss similar Beckam’s kiss…I am lesbian? I can’t believe…it is impossible, I can’t believe.where do you live? have you ever seen a gay? can you recognize a gay? I think not. what do you tell me if I talk about Alexander the Great? he was a man, I won several wars, he was…Great :-D he was gay. so how can you say what is gay and what not?I think that david beckam is gay as you perfect president…you don’t know he is gay only because he gave a kiss to another player after an important goal…you should be crazy if you think this…and let’s talk about United States…only one point in three matches, they can play hurting other player, they don’t have fair play…he is a team? you stupid americans are out.
great!! usa are out…lost against ghana and the czech. oh my fucking god. i am sorry…i hope you d*e!!!
Okay… if everyone is so against this blog, don’t read it.
The thing that bothers me is the narrowmindedness of it’s authors.
“Your friends” are not the entire world. I’m sorry to burst your bubble.
You may call me an atheist, I jave nothing against that, and I don’t quite see what’s so wrong.
You’re entitled to your opinion, I’m entitled to mine, but your opinions gets stale after a while…
Try posting about something you like, cuz I’m getting sick of hearing everything that’s not sanctioned by the church is Satanic/Pagan.
Go to sleep.
u r lame and bring shame to the USA.
Football (what u call soccer) rules.
America isn’t great because of u, but in spite of u and your ilk.
God bless the true values of the USA and a beautiful world with various thoughts and cultures. You are truly ignorant and evil, blinded by your arrogance.
People like you give religion a bad name, fucking cunt. You don’t even know what this thing is about. You claim that its so pussy that they dont wear helmets, exactly, your NFL gimps have to armour themselves to play. And it is a contact sport, just the ball needs to be played first. It is the biggest sporting event in the world, not just fat, uneducated america.
I think it’s a good place to talk about the FIFA World-Cup…
France/Italy
Any comments?
I think France will win…
And you?
France? Disgusting.
Say, Italy happened to win.
What do you think of THAT?
I think that Italy probably cheated Italian, not that I care about your soccerball anyway.
If your are so fucking proud of your religion and about your fucking god maybe you should show us the face that lies below your nazi mask.
Until I read this I did not Know how heatfull could be a person. I don?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t have enought word in english to say how much I don not like you. You really suck, as well as your god.
Cheers
“I think that Italy probably cheated Italian, not that I care about your soccerball anyway.”
Umm…What does this sentence mean? That the physical country “Italy” cheated it’s own football players and took the win from them? And if you don’t care for An Italian’s soccerball then you are always welcome to mine ^.~. Anyways, the word “soccer” is an older British term for the game and is short for “Association Football”, a name to differentiate it from the rugby game. It is our fault in the USA that we haven’t updated our archaic English vocabulary. I propose we rectify this immeadiatly and call “soccer” “football” and “(American) football” “junior (or American) rugby”.
Dear Sassafrass,
Your comments are almost as stupid as your name.
Why would we want to change football from football, seeing as football is what everyone knows it as?
HEHEHEHEHE Thanks for the good laugh. I love ethnocentricity.
hahahaha wow this was very entertaining guy, i havent seen this much ignorance since the middle ages *thumbs up*
first of all: it is in fact called football!
it is an english invention and they called it football! in case you haven’t noticed they even invented your language!
waht you refer to as football is “american” football” which probably originates from rugby. antoehr british invention!
last but not least: I hope you die a really slow and cruel death with lots of suffering before you go down to hell!
“Your email is another great example of why the rest of the world hates America. I laugh at your ignorance as a nation”
ME TOO
To SAM
“I think that Italy probably cheated Italian, not that I care about your soccerball anyway.”
So you think that Italy cheated the Italians or vice-versa?!?! Is it just me or what you say doesn’t have any sense. And it’s not soccerball, it’s football.
The only soccerball is you, yeah… you suck balls.
HAHA
No, Alex, I was informing a poster called Italian that his Godless country cheated to win that soccer-ball thing. Which was, I’m reliably informed, very boring.
U r a NOOB!
I wouldn’t exactly go to a favela in Rio or Sao Paulo and call football gay and a bunch of pussies if I were you. In fact I would stay out of Europe, Mexico, South America, Russia, UK, Ireland and most of Africa if I were you. You might have your senile butt handed back to you.
By the way the favela people you say willingly attack, are in fact God-fearing Christians too. Unfortunately they will shoot you…
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317248/ if you want a rough outline what’s it like in there and why football is important to these people. You ignorant redneck scum!
I’m not a redneck! I went to a very expensive college.
I’m not going to watch a film with subtitles! Gosh you liberals are boring!
Oh yes, I have no intention of going to sao paolo… why leave America when God loves it so much?
SHELLEY ! heed my notice:
god came to me and amswered all the most important questions i had!
and SHE said the only reason people like you and the rest of the republicans exist is so us chosen people (the liberals) can have political entertainment.
..and she told me to tell you that she hopes every fetus you save be black, wiccan and democratic.
Your fucking retarded and your logic is way off
I don’t believe that you are jesus. You are, however, a blasphemer and therefore destined to sink down to hell.
of corse you haven’t heard of the world cup … america is never qualified to play there!
your a fag…
Soccer-Football? All girly man. Lets make rugby a required sport for all males who want to be classified as men, that should seperate the men from the girly man liberals. Long live rugby!
what an ignorant person, im just impressed how stupid can some one be, football (the real international name) or soccer as “americans” call it, was invented by the british many years a go, they made the name football and i believe that is the right name because they also invented “the enlgish lenguage”, the world cup as been aroudn many many years and its not a plot against americans, and not because you are ignoant and you dont know nothing about anything u have to go around saying that the world cup or anything else isn?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t important, it makes me mad that u use jesus in ur own evil way i personaly think that u and everything u think is shit u know nothing about anything and its sick how u try to infect the internet with ur lame ideas and comments just because u are one ignorant ass “north american”, and about the contact sport soccer as u call it is pretty much more agresive and dangerous than football play for 10 min and i believe u will end up pretty much bruised because there is no protection in soccer, now football thats a girl sport they use protection any where i believe rugby is a real man sport, baseball even basketball is much more of a sport than football that is just a cheap knock off from rugby but it dosn’s suprise me americans usually copy or steal everything and their athletes are hardly even american born they are usually athletes born in other countries but with usa papers, well enjoy ur fake american pride that is worth shit and ur fake religion that is worth twice as shit, start reading, open ur mind and stop infecting the world with ur ignorance we already have enough with ur lame ass country. =) cheers
The World Cup was great =)
I hope in 2010 it will be in Germany again ^^
WOW! I AM SPEECHLESS! THAT WAS THE DUMBEST ARTICLE I HAVE READ ON THIS SITE. SAMUEL, YOU ARE SPREADING HATRED AND UNCERTAINTY, WHY? BECKHAM WAS KISSING HIS TEAMMATE OUT OF EMOTION NOT LUST. I’M SORRY, I AM JUST TAKEN BACK BY SUCH A RIDICULOUS ARTICLE. THE COMMENTS ABOUT GERMANY ARE ALSO SHAMEFUL. YOU ARE NOT A GOD FEARING MAN, I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY.